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Bro, I'm not an Undead!

Bro! You wouldn’t believe this! Everything was normal. Me and my bros doing some mining for mana gems for that old sockethole, Somanda like we always do all day, everyday. Me, Fractures, Bonet, Mono-socket, Broadbone and the gang. Then from nowhere, that ungrateful sockethole, Somanda tries to END me! Can you believe that?! I mean, I have told some questionable stories about him caressing my skull affectionately and deeming me his prized undead, but no need to axe a skeleton for something like that, right? RIGHT?! I managed to escape through one of the most convenient and contrived get-aways in all of undead history, even managing to pull a bony one on the Lich bastard by stealing two of his seemingly important possessions which I find out later to be better than I thought they’d be! From there it’s a just a SPIRAL of boneshit left and right! I can’t catch a break! What’s with this atrocious luck, bro?! A voice speaks to me about how I have qualified for something about a something that’s supposedly something’s something! Then I find myself in a new world that reeks of life and gives my bones a disgusted rattle. Powerful beasts and men are at every turn, all lining up to be a huge pain in my PELVIS! GAAAAH! Jeez this is happening too fast! However, even while I’m in the thick of this, the one saving grace is that I got something worth while! A new path of power! I can NOT be an undead! I can be something better than both the Living and the Dead! Immune to the antics from both sides. Well... most of them! I’m no longer on the path for Undeath! Only Lifelessness awaits me! I’m the one who transcends reality in this tale! I am... SKULLIUS! And I’m not an UNDEAD! ...... [Author’s Answers To Popular Readers’ Questions] Q: (IHateArjuun77) -Hey author, is your book trash?- A: (Author) -Haha, screw you dear reader. The answer is NO. The story has elements of comedy, action, magic, adventure and Brutality. Like it gets really dark sometimes. There’s a comprehensive story with characters that I tried my damndest to NOT make generic on top of a cool power system that’s for the most part easy to understand. So its not trash. Q: (IFreakingHateArjuun56) -Hey author why is your first volume so slow paced and... trash?- A: (Author) -Haha. It’s how I designed the First Volume to be. It’s a fun setup that doesn’t focus on many things other than the MC’s mentality, powers and route of progression. The next volumes are normal paced, focusing on the world, the villains and general expansion but all while still retaining the book theme and fun experience- Q: (ShadeIsAPervert001) -Hey author, I instinctively sense that I’ll hate this book, when should I drop? A: (Author) -Is this the same reader?! Anyway, I’ll give a range. Read a minimum of the first 20 chapters to a max of up to chapter 44 before you decide on anything too rash. I’ll hunt down this reader! --- Discord: [ https://discord.gg/8hcraTjzE9 ]

Shade_Arjuun · Fantasy
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1361 Chs

A Different Variant

The clip clop of horse hooves was masked by the snow that stained the pathway, the only thing being heard being the movement of the large carriages, the clanging of armour and the low chatter among the escort Knights.

"You reckon we'll be rewarded for this unnecessarily long trip?"

"Not a chance. Even if we've been borrowed, the only thing we stand to gain is capital punishment if something bad happens that lustful blob and his company."

"Seriously? I'd rather be a Contract Knight if this continues. Or better yet, a Stray Knight."

The two Knights guarding the front most carriage said in hushed tones, the horses under them snorting as if in agreement.

From the carriage behind, a barely discernible moan was heard then the entire thing shook with feminine giggles coming out of it.

One of the two Knights rolled his eyes at this.

"Put me out of my misery. How am I supposed to keep my wood down if I'm hearing all the action from here?"