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Banishment

Author: Dehni_Olsen
Fantasy
Ongoing · 121.7K Views
  • 57 Chs
    Content
  • 4.8
    20 ratings
  • NO.200+
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Synopsis

Torn from her everyday life, 23-year-old Velori is thrown into a mystery nearly long forgotten. Shortly after meeting Gairett, she is told that he isn't just any man, but a powerful Werepython! If this wasn't already too much to take in, Gairett’s silvery-eyed brother Hale is furious that some random human knows of his family's existence and the fact that he's a Gargoyle. To protect these secrets from the dangers of humans, Hale steps in to silence Velori himself. Only the attraction between them brings all his plans to an abrupt stop. Especially when they discover that her memories are locked away behind an ancient curse between their families, threatening to doom their relationship before it begins. Velori must work against time to unlock her memories before someone she's close to steps in and successfully erases all pathways, keeping both families forever in the dark and stuck in Banishment.

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Chapter 1Tayen and Spells

"God forsaken country." She murmured absently to herself. While she was thankful to be back near her homeland, she would always hate this place.

Her eyes drifted across the spell circle that surrounded her.

This wasn't the first spell she'd found herself in. It wasn't even her first time doing this specific incantation. She had performed it every decade for over two hundred years. How she hadn't become bored and given up after the first several tries was anyone's guess..

Her amber eyes moved around her surroundings to verify one last time that all was placed correctly. The four brass bowls were placed in each cardinal direction; North, East, South, and West. Each sitting atop smoldering embers that smoked three of the Goddess of Fire's favorite smells; pig fat, hair, and Palo Santo sticks. She would be pleased.

Satisfied, she moved her gaze to the basin at her feet. The honey and salt water she'd mixed earlier, glistened brightly in the sun. Keenly aware of how the gooey mixture would feel as it slid between her toes, forced a sigh from her lips before she stepped into the concoction. Silently, she reminded herself that she was doing anything to please the Elements, and these were the God of Water's preferences.

Her eyes then drifted to what stood between each brass bowl. Firmly stuck into the ground were limbs from the Acacia tree; each brown piece of wood stood about five feet high, a testament to their mother tree. Her offering to the Goddess of Earth. 

She'd hated cutting them off. She'd planted the tree when she first came back to the States. It signified her rebirth here and stabilized her thoughts whenever she sat beneath it. Sadly, she knew she needed them for her spells, so once again, she asked Earth's forgiveness and felt its acceptance almost immediately, washing over her like a soothing balm.

The wind blew, causing the feathers tied to each branch to flutter. She'd picked owl feathers this time; A kiss from the night air and one she hoped would help with her entreaty. They weren't the best choice for the God of Air but they were Gairett's favorite. Since he was who she wanted to reach with her incantation, they should work just as well.

Lastly, she touched the bone beads that she'd placed in her hair. Her auburn waves were pulled back and away from her face, with braids twisting around themselves to mimic a crown. They were a stark contrast laying against her strands, and she smiled to herself as she thought of their meaning. They were in honor of the God of Illusion, as death is the greatest of all illusions after all. His presence here was a great privilege for her.

While this wasn't her first spell circle, this was the first time every Element had agreed to help her with it. Illusion had always refused. Not even granting her permission to speak with him. He didn't dislike Tayen, but he hated Gairett and wanted nothing to do with his potential return. Why he agreed this time was a mystery, but she wasted no time in her preparations once she got his approval.

Seeing that everything was in place, it was time to start. She could already feel the heavy pressure of each God Element, or Originator, as they waited for her to begin.

She looked up to the peak of the mountain before her. Standing at its base always made her feel alone and tired and somewhat small, just as it was doing now. Its faded greenery and sun burnt sands only added to it. 

She had fought hard to own a strip of the State Trust land here. It was her way to keep him and his family's secret safe. Especially since it was a busy location. It was best known for Topaz Mountain, and it had tourists nearly all year round.

Still, owning the land or not, it cut at her heartstrings every time she saw it. It had stolen her best friend and her lover and therefore, would always stand as a harbinger of pain. 

"We won't stay forever, child." The nudge from Air was enough to bring her mind back to the moment.

"My apologies honored one. I'll start now." Air flooded her body with warmth, thankful that the human respected him and the other Originators like she did.

Tayen lifted her face to the sky, extending her throat far enough to properly create the tune needed. Softly at first, she began to hum, taking only a few seconds before she found the right vibration. 

She knew it was correct because Water responded to her through the mixture at her feet. It began to vibrate, matching the resonance of her melody.

The brass bowls began to smoke intensely as Fire responded to the vibrations that passed by them. 

Tayen grew louder after she took her first inhale. The feathers twisted angrily as she felt the wind pick up and sweep around her. Air's response to her enchantment.

Slowly she lowered her head and deepened her hum, beseeching Illusion to join in for the first time. He responded, and her eyes grew large as she watched a shield of light and shadow start to form around her ring. Up and up, it went until it met above her, creating a sphere of swirling colors.

Bringing her hands together, she performed multiple finger movements. Her people's secret art of communication with the essence of their realm. This was her final action before the chant was completed. 

It was an entreaty to the Universe, through the Originators, to bring her love back to her. To force his self-caused exile to come to completion. 

Earth finally responded, and the ground shook beneath her. The mountain before her seemed to shudder and forced the creatures of the mountain into a panic, running in all directions.

Continuing her hum and hand gestures, she couldn't stop her smile as she watched them run around her shield of protection. This was the first time she needn't worry about them trampling her spell circle. It brought hope to her that she hadn't felt in decades.

With one final hand gesture, she rose in pitch until it forced her to sing, and her voice went higher. With the last of her breath, she yelled out a guttural scream that echoed through the Juniper trees and rocks of the mountain.

With the ending of her chant, the shield exploded out, away from her, and traveled in all directions. The feathers ripped away from their ties and the bowls and basin at her feet, smoked white as the contents evaporated. As she looked around her, the braids that lay atop her head fell around her face as Illusion too took his payment of bones.

The only offering left were the Acacia branches. Earth always left them for her. So like before, she verbally thanked the Goddess that was still present.

"Thank you, for honoring me with your help." She bowed her head respectfully.

"Why do you do these summonings, Child of the Earth? He never wakes up and I hate seeing your pain and disappointment." Tayen could feel her as Earth spoke to her. Strong, rooted, and immense. These were the feelings that always came with Earth when she visited Tayen.

"Why does a crow stand guard over a fallen friend? Why does the bear gorge before sleep? Why does a baby cry for its mother?" She paused briefly, shuddering through a calming breath. "Because they must, my wonderful Earth. Because I must." 

"Go with Earth and be happy, child. I am here for you always." She felt Earth leave and with it went her strength. She slumped down into the basin, as she waited for the Elements to return her strength. With each thanks Tayen gave to them, she received energy in return.

She wasn't sure how long she sat there, gazing up at the mountain that held her sleeping lover. The sun that was right above her when she began the spell was now behind the mountain and darkness was creeping across the sky. 

"Did you hear me this time, Gairett?" She whispered to the wind. She expected silence and was disappointed once again when it greeted her. 

"Guess not." She said, sitting up slowly, working out the kinks in her muscles and waking up deadened limbs. 

"Maybe next time." She whispered once more before standing, then she collected her bowls and branches and began her long trek back to the trail that would lead her to the road. It would be well past midnight when she made it back to her car but it was a small price to pay. She would give almost anything to have him back.

As she walked away from the location, she was watched by Illusion. He joined this time because unlike his siblings he'd decided he was done waiting. Although they stepped in on occasion and nudged things like dominos, he didn't do that. If he helped, he didn't nudge and hope that things fell into place. He pushed until he achieved the outcome he wanted. 

It would be no different this time. He closed his senses and sought out the answer to Tayen's dilemma and the Universe answered. Only it wasn't an answer he expected. 

Disappearing from the Utah mountain ranges, he appeared inside a Colorado home. He stood at the base of a bed that held a woman that he and his siblings knew very well. 

He would need to hide his actions from his brother, Water, but it would be worth it, to give Tayen what she sought. 

Without waiting further, he entered the woman's dreams and teased her subconscious until a plan was formed to visit the Utah mountains and uncover what was unearthed there.

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Table of Contents
Volume 0 :Auxiliary Volume
Volume 1

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Eking_James
Eking_JamesLv10

Starting off with what I liked, I did enjoy the concept of the Originators being somewhat sentient elements that requires their approval to use their power. That was pretty neat. Though I thought it would be used in a more offensive sense. Anyhow, onward with the review. Writing Quality: For most of the novel, the quality was smooth and crisp. But the repeated words really knocked it down. Which sucks because this section would've gotten 5 stars if it wasn't for that. Allow me to showcase some examples. -Her glare only deepened. -and the sudden wink brightened the glare... (Chapter 1) In one paragraph, smile, smiled, and smile again are used. And in the following paragraph, it's used again. In chapter three, a man is described as beautiful again shortly after the first time. "She wasn't my birth mother. My birth mother-" The second use of birth mother can easily be avoided. (Chapter 6) The phrase "her chest was pounding" is used again a few paragraphs later in chapter 7. -Her one-sided conversation with a frustrated huff of air. Why she was so frustrated with him (Chapter 7) Now this wasn't so bad, until the later chapters. Let's see her, I'll just pick a random chapter, ah 21 will do. The phrase "stormed off" gets used multiple times. Irritation is used three times. In chapter 23, fear gets used 4 times in one paragraph. Four...times. I think that alone showcases the problem with repeating phrases and words. And in the 3rd paragraph of that same chapter, sudden and anger are used again. Wanna know what else is used again? Fear. Now I could go on, but I think the point is clear. Besides using a thesaurus, describing the emotions can help cut down on the repetition. Stability of Updates: So for this category, I don't worry about when the chapters were released. I focus on the consistency of the chapters. And your chapters were very consistent. Good job :> Story Development: Alright, so the story laid pretty well. I enjoyed reading through it, though I'm going to lay out so issues I had or things I didn't generally like. Firstly, I'm not a big fan of suddenly dropping a dead family member in media, of anyone really. It makes me feel "oh that sucks" because it's just so sudden. Especially since this is the first chapter and I already know her dad is dead. And the way she's affected is told by words, rather than seeing how it affects her today. And the same thing is done with her mom, except at least there's a description of how it still affects her today in chapter three. It's like I feel "oh that's sad", rather than "oh that's sad!" That's just me though. I would love to the other elements have their time in the spotlight, Illusion was the one we say the most, and I would love to have their story expanded. The Originators are a pretty interesting concept, though they didn't make a huge impact until later in the story, like chapter 12. This is a bit odd as they are mentioned in the beginning of chapter one, and it takes a while before the reader can actually learn about them. So a bit of pacing issue there, but explaining a little bit through dialogue is completely fine. The same is done for the Realms, also mentioned in the beginning of the story. There's such little information on the Realms which hasn't became a relevant topic in the story at all. Now we already spoke about this, so I'll leave it at that. Lastly, seeing how important her Ben and Anne are to her, it'd be nice to see them again in the story. Especially since it's been some time since we've seen them. I'm leaning more towards Anne as I feel she has a much personal connection to her rather than a "lover" like Ben. Character Design: What can I say, characters are described well. Their descriptions are so vivid that I'd get canceled if I tried doing it with a female character. Although, their clothing isn't described in a similar quality, unless there is a lack of clothing like swimsuits. Which is pretty funny to me. Breasts, buttocks, and the like are described to detail but not clothing. No amount of butt flaps and or the jeans around Ben's butt could save ya, even though it is tempting. World Background: Environments are described very well, and so are objects. So detailed that it's easy to paint a picture of the scenery you're trying to set. Now if the character designs got this much attention to detail, you'd be golden. With that taken care of, I can definitely say this is a pretty good read, just fix up in the areas I suggested and let the readers view top tier smut. Intrigued to know how the story continues, and if Velori can gain the trust of all the Originators. Now then, tell Hale to get shirtless for me, don't ask.

RRMenon
RRMenonLv1

First off I'm going to start with the pros. Out of all the book I've read on Webnovel, this has got to be the best written book in terms of writing quality. I absolutely had to give you 5 stars for that. Really excellent job. I really enjoyed the mystery element as well. I have to admit I haven't read all 24 chapters yet. I'm about half way in and find myself wanting to read more to get answer to some lingering questions you've expertly put into the reader's minds. I like the setting as well. A good blend between fantasy and the modern era. Nicely done there as well. Now for the cons. Personally, I didn't quite connect with the main character. As early as Chapter 2 I start to dislike some of her personality traits. Even though there are many redeeming features about her, I feel less invested in her POV when compared to Gairett's. Another thing I found jarring was that you frequently have a habit of ending a dialogue and then you start up a new dialogue but it's still the same person speaking. I've seen this multiple times and I still get confused even a dozen chapters in. I read the first dialogue line as the person speaking it and I expect the next line to be the other person but it's often the same person. I feel it would be better to fit it all under one pair of double quotes ("...") or at least seperate the first and second dialogue by the same person with a single line of text. Helps avoid confusion. Even though I really did enjoy the world building and overall setting, I found some of the descriptions to be a little too much. At several points I was left wanting more story progression rather than another paragraph long description of an area or building or an object. But again, this could just be a my personal preference. Overall I think this has great potential. I'm not too keen on the "werepython" angle but the rest of the story is amazing. Your writing style is amazing. Your vision for the story is amazing. So, 4 stars! Definitely recommended. Keep up the good work.

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