Cara Mia

The Uber dropped them off at her apartment building.

She opened the door.

"Wow, I see what you mean about the four sets of stairs," he said.

"Yeah, it's a pain, but what are you going to do?"

"I don't know. Find a good-looking guy with a house."

"Anyway... on that note, let's begin our climb; it's the second door on the right," she said.

He walked up the stairs to her apartment, fixated on her ass the entire time. He looked down and noticed a welcome mat. Well, kind of a welcome mat.

"If you're going to break into my house, stand outside and get right with Jesus. Tell him you're on your way. USMC," he read.

"Well, that sure is different than welcome; please come in."

"Yeah, a really good friend of mine had gotten it for me, and I just really like it," she said.

"It gets the point across. Can't say I didn't warn people first."

"Well, it is pretty cool. Not sure it would stand up in court if you killed someone."

"Ohio is a stand-your-ground state, remember? Plus, I will just beat them within an inch of their life," she said.

"Good to know that you have a plan."

"Marines are trained to improvise, adapt, and overcome obstacles in all situations. They are willing to keep fighting until victory is assured."

"Marines take a lot of pride in being a Marine."

"How do you know someone is a Marine?" she asked."How?"

"Don't worry, they will tell you," she joked. "There are 1.6 million people in the Army, counting reserves. There are one hundred and eighty thousand Marines, counting reserves. We aren't called an elite fighting force for nothing."

"You should have been a recruiter. I mean, I am ready to sign up."

"As good of shape as you are, you've already aged out."She opened the door, and they stepped inside her apartment. The door opened into a good-sized kitchen. There was a decent-sized living room with the master bedroom off it. There was a laundry room, a half bath, and a full bath in her bedroom. It was about 1,000 square feet in total. She had it sparsely decorated. A few photos here and there and an American flag in a display case on the wall.

"Whose flag?"

"It belongs to the same person who gave me the welcome mat."

"Oh. I am so sorry. You two were close?" Alex asked.

"Remember when I mentioned that I had a boyfriend named Malibu?"

"Of course, how can I forget the cute little tattoo," he said.

"That's his. He was KIA. He was two feet from me. It broke my heart. That's why what happened between us this morning was so special to me. That's why I don't want to be considered just another one of your conquests. I need to know if it meant something to you too."

He took her by her arms. He looked her in the face. "It did mean something to me. But I understand so much better now," He spoke with sincerity. "Allie, you were not a conquest."

"Well, I'm happy to hear that. Would you like a beer or something?"

"I definitely would like an or something," he said. He kissed her. It was slow, gentle, and meaningful. He loved the way it felt when he kissed her. It was euphoric. When they finally separated, he looked around the room. "Do you have your father's flag?"

"I do." That was it she didn't say anything further. She didn't mention where it was or why it wasn't displayed like Malibu's. He saw a picture of her in a red dress with a man in dress blues. "Is this him? Is that Malibu Ken?" he asked.

She walked over to him. "It is. That's my homecoming dress. We were at the Marine Corps birthday ball," she said. "They have one every year. It is a huge deal."

"So, you did get to wear the dress," he commented.

"But I didn't get the bad chicken, the spotlight dance, and I definitely didn't get the crown," she said, trying to smile.

He looked at another photo on the wall. "Is this tu Familia?" he asked.

"Si. Mi Madre, mi Padre, y mi Hermano"

"Will you tell me about them?" She looked hurt.

"I'm sorry if you don't want to. I get it," he said.

"No. I have never really talked about my family."

"You never talked about them to Malibu?"

"Maybe a few things here and there."

"You don't have to. I'm sorry I asked. I should have known better."

"No. My father was a frigid man. I don't even know for sure if he ever really loved me. He only showed affection on my birthdays and when I became a United States Marine. Otherwise, it was all about him and what he wanted. Where he took us, he was more concerned about living his life and not us living ours," she said.

Alex felt an ache for her. His father was always caring about his children. He had sacrificed so much just so his children could have what they needed and what they strived to achieve.

"My mother tried. A lot of times, she was a referee. It was like no matter what we did, it was never good enough for my father. She was such a wonderful woman. She's one of those who would have died for her children."

A hard lump formed in her throat as she spoke and looked at her brother. "My little brother." She carefully touched the face of the young boy in the photo. "I tried so hard to protect him. I did everything I could to make sure that no harm befallen him. Then, when I left, he died. A drunk driver hit their car on their way home from breakfast one morning," she said, her voice quivering.

He thought of his many brothers and sisters. He didn't know what he would do if any of them were suddenly taken from his family. "What was his name?" he asked.

"Andrew. I called him Boodrew. He was everything to me—my brother, my best friend, and, in a way, my child."

"Tell me a happy memory," he said.

She smiled and laughed a little."He asked me what a period was. I guess a girl in his class got her period and ran out of the room."

"I asked one of my sisters the same question."

"And what did she say?" she asked.

"Google it," he said with a smile.

"What did you say?"

"I said that a woman's uterus is like a bed. Every day, you put another sheet on, and if after twenty-eight days a baby doesn't snuggle into the bed, the sheets get stripped off, which takes five to seven days, and then the cycle starts over again."

"That has to be the best and simplest explanation of menstruation I have ever heard."

She smiled again as she looked at the boy. "He asked me what kind of sheets are they. Are they just girly sheets, or could there be boys' sheets like Superman? He was such a good kid. He didn't deserve to die. After all, I did in the Corps. I am the one who should have died that day."

"Oh, don't say that. You did what you were told to do."

"You have no idea how many people died at the recoil of my rifle. I will forever be plagued with night terrors."

He could tell that she was about to lose her composure. "Allie, will you dance with me?"

"As long as the song isn't Life Ain't Always Beautiful. I don't have the strength for that again."

He smiled. "No, I have something better in mind." He queued the music. He pulled her into him.

Richard Marx sang to them.

'Just when I believed

I couldn't ever want for more

This ever-changing world

Pushes me through another door

I saw you smile

And my mind

Could not erase the beauty of your face

Just for awhile

Won't you let me shelter you

Hold on to the nights

Hold on to the memories

I wish that I could give you

Something more

That I could be yours.'

"That was a great choice," she said, looking up at him. "I love that song."

'Where words fail, music speaks.'

"Hans Christian Anderson," she said with a smile.

"I know some stuff. I may not have been valedictorian, but I held my own."

"Please tell me you haven't danced with someone else to this song."

"I never had a reason to."

"Will you play it again?"

"All you have to do is ask. I wish I could do more than play a song," he said.

She held onto him like a drowning woman holding onto a life preserver. He replayed the song. He kissed the top of her head and held her.

'How do we explain

Something that took us by surprise

Promises in vain

Love that is real

But in disguise

What happens now

Do we break another rule?

Let our lovers play the fool?I don't know how

To stop feeling this way

Hold on to the nights

Hold on to the memories

If only I could give you more

Well, I think that I've been true

To everybody else but me

And the way I feel about you

Makes my heart long to be free

Every time I look into your eyes

I'm helplessly aware

That is the someone I've been searching for

Is right there

"Thank you, Alex."

"For what?"

"Just... thank you," she said.

"Whatever you need me to do, I'll do. Whoever you need me to be, I'll be. Wherever you need me to go, I'll go."

The emotions she began to feel were almost painful. "I'm going to get us that beer." She pulled herself from his embrace and went to get them each a beer.

They sat on the couch together. For a moment, they just sat there. Neither saying anything. "Tell me about your family," she said.

"What do you want to know?"

"Do you have any nieces or nephews?"

"I do. I have 16 nephews and 12 nieces. My one sister is pregnant as we speak. She's due in a few weeks," he said.

"Holy expensive Christmas."

"And birthdays. It feels like one of them graduates every year."

"I have to work overtime around the holidays just to afford gifts for them. People like to take days off around the holidays, so there is no shortage of hours. I've picked up some security side jobs for the party centers. That's a good one. You can make thirty dollars an hour to make sure someone's drunk relative doesn't get too far out of hand," he said.

"Do you have any other relatives?"

"The Kingston name stops with me. I might have an aunt in Wisconsin from my mom's side, but I have never met her if she is still alive."

"I have 13 aunts, 11 uncles, and 38 FIRST cousins. I have no idea about the second or third. Meeting my family will be... intense."

"Who says I will be meeting your family?" she said. I have never met any of my boyfriend's family.

"I just know. I am a glass-half-full kind of guy."

The conversation started to make her feel uncomfortable." Well, I am a beer-all-empty kind of girl. Do you want another one?" she asked.

"I think I am ready for that or something you offered. If you are," Alex said.

"Is it weird that I actually feel a little nervous?"

"We have had an emotionally confusing day. There have been lots of ups and downs." She looked down and started to play with her fingers.

He wrapped his hands around hers to stop her. "We don't have to do anything. I would be happy just sitting in silence as long as I'm sitting with you."

"Really?" she asked.

"Of course. I will never assume that you are a sure thing. You can, however, assume I am."

He made her smile. "I want you to be honest. Are you like this with the other women you've been with? You really are a smooth talker."

"This is going to sound awful, but I never really took the time to talk to or get to know any of those other women. I mean, I won't deny it; I was a jugador. I was a player. But with you, it's game over," he said.

"Have you ever been in love, Alex?"

"I was. I think. To be honest with you, I'm not sure. I wanted to be."

"It's the greatest and most terrible thing a person can ever go through," she said.

"There is no pleasure without pain. In order to truly feel one, you need to endure the other."

"Who said that?"

"A handsome man by the name of Alexander Alvarez."

She smiled and took his hand. They went into her bedroom. They kissed as they slowly undressed each other. She lay down on the bed, and he slowly crawled towards her. He hovered over her, kissed her mouth, and looked into her eyes."You have the most amazing eyes," he said.

"Thank you. I could say the same to you," Allie said.

"Then say it," he said with a smile.

"You have the most amazing eyes. They remind me of dark chocolate. My favorite of all the chocolates."

"Allie, I would like this to be slow." He ran the back of his hand down the side of her face. I would like to savor it just in case it never happens again. I want you to feel the emotions and respect that I have for you."

They kissed each other's bodies. She particularly liked it when he kissed the small of her back and up her spine. He liked it when she kissed him right by the corner of his eye. Softly. Her long lashes giving him butterfly kisses. When he finally entered her, he did so slowly. She had her eyes closed and her head tipped back. He kissed the underside of her chin and her neck. He kissed her shoulders and her collarbone. He moved slowly but at just the right pace.

"Allie, I would like you to open your eyes and look into mine while we are together this time," he said.

She opened her eyes. She could see it: the emotion and the respect. It was the way Malibu and Ian had looked at her. He propped himself up on his one forearm. He took his hand and ran it down her side. He cupped her breast and brought it into his mouth. She moaned, but it was soft. It was not like this morning when it was intense and lustful. There was no crass language. There was only reverence and intimacy.

He stayed like that for a while. She was listening to his breathing, and he was listening to hers. He set the pace by the sounds she made. He wanted her to feel how he felt for her. He rolled her over so that she was on top of him. She did not sit up. She kept her arms hooked under his, her hands on his shoulders. Her chest was on his. She slowly rocked back and forth. Now, she kept the pace in line with the noise he made. When she did sit up, he held her on her hips. She moved a little faster in this position. She loved being on top because it guaranteed she would feel all of him.

After a long while, he could not take it anymore. He kept holding back because he knew when he was done, it was done. He rolled her back over so that he was on top.

"I can't take it anymore, Allie. I have to," he said. She brought her knees back, lifting her feet off the bed so he could go deeper into her to press his pelvis harder against her. "Oh God," he moaned. "You are amazing. You feel perfect."

"Come for me, Alex," she whispered in his ear. "I want to know that I have pleased you as much as you have pleasured me."

"Oh, you have no idea what you have done to me. I wish you could feel what I feel for you, both in my body and mind. I wish you could see yourself through my eyes. Then maybe you would know I have true feelings for you." Every couple of seconds, his pace quickened. His breathing became harder. He became harder. With one final thrust, he erupted inside of her. He stopped, pressed hard up against her, and went rigid. His scalp tingled. It was so intense. He stayed like that for a minute, not moving.

"I thought what we did this morning would be my favorite memory to keep, but it's not. This will be the one I think about when I think of you and me together, Cara Mia."

"This is mine too," she said. They kissed. Neither closed their eyes."I don't want to move."

"You have to. We do need to live our lives," Allie said.

"But once I'm out, I am done. We're done... for now."

"Yes, we're done. For a while. As long as..."

"As long as what?"

"I'm so tired. You wore me out, Alvarez. I may kick you out. Do you make the girls leave right after you're done?"

"Why do you have to ruin this with a comment like that?"

"I'm sorry. But for someone nicknamed The Player, you can't expect me to stop thinking I am just another game."

He removed himself slowly to prolong the feeling of what had just happened. He lay next to her. He slid his arm under her and drew her close to him. "Alexsandra, you will never be just another girl. Another player in a game. Another conquest. You have no idea what I want when I look at you. I can see my---"

"I'm tired. Can you hold me while I sleep? I want to take a little nap."

"I will do whatever it is you want." He started singing Bruno Mars' 's 'Grenade.

'I'd catch a grenade for ya

Throw my hand on a blade for ya

I'd jump in front of a train for ya

You know I'd do anything for ya

Oh-oh, oh, I would go through all this pain

Take a bullet straight through my brain

Yes, I would die for you, baby

But you won't do the same'

"Another Hans Christian Anderson reference?"

"No. Bruno Mars."

"You are an ass."

"I know. For some reason, people tell me that all the time." He smiled and kissed her on her nose.

"I can't even. One person is an opinion, two people is a coincidence, three is a fact." He gently stroked her hair. She rested her head on his chest and listened to his heartbeat. Neither said a word. They both fell asleep. At 6:30, her phone rang.

"Hello?" she answered.

"Allie, it's Russell. Did I wake you?"

"Oh, actually, yeah, kind of. I was tired, and I decided to take a nap."

"I was wondering if you still wanted to meet for dinner," he said.

"Well. Um. You know, actually..."

"Or we could just meet for breakfast," he said.

"Would you mind if we just met for breakfast?"

"No, not at all."

"Thank you. I really appreciate your understanding," she said."Who is it?" Alex asked.

Russell heard his voice in the background."Of course, my dear. Now, why don't you go finish your nap?" he paused.

"OK, I will see you tomorrow. Meet me at The Corner Diner at 0600."

"I will be there."

"Well, I seem to be free the rest of the night. Want to watch a movie or finish our nap?" she asked. She turned over to her side, and he came up behind her and pressed his body against hers. God, that feels so good, so normal.

He put his arm around her. She took his hand into hers and tucked it close to her chest. They slept for another couple of hours. When they woke up, it was 8:30.

He kissed the back of her neck."What should we do now?"

"I'm a little hungry. Do you want some popcorn or pizza rolls? I wasn't expecting company."

"Pizza rolls?" he asked.

"My guilty pleasure."

"Mine is beefaroni, cold, out of the can," he said.

"Oh god." She laughed. "Well, I am fresh out of Beefaroni."

"Popcorn and pizza rolls it is."

"Would you like to watch a movie? The day is technically not over. Do you like John Wick?" she asked.

"Yes. I love it. Great movie. The actor is great, and the---"

"You have never seen it, have you?"

"Never even heard of it." He laughed.

"Come on," she said.

"Should we get dressed?"

"Putting something on would be appropriate." She put on a T-shirt, and he put his boxers back on. They sat on the couch, with her between his legs, her back against his chest.

They watched the movie, and she fed him popcorn one piece at a time.

She put a pizza roll in his mouth, thinking they had cooled down.

He bit down. "Oh my God! Why didn't you tell me there was lava in the middle!" he yelled, with it still in his mouth.

"Spit it out."

"My mouth wants to, but my brain says don't be a bitch."

She picked up his beer and handed it to him. He took a swig and cooled his mouth off. "I never want to do that again. I will stick to my cold beefaroni," Alex said.

She laughed at him. "I thought you liked the heat."

"Yeah, but not the kind that burns off my tastebuds." He put his arms on her shoulders and pulled her back to his chest. "This is nice," he said.

"I don't hate it. Besides the little wrinkle this afternoon, this has been the best day I've had in a long time," she said.

He took her hands and held them."Me too."

"I am sorry it has to end," she said.

"But does it really?" he said.

She craned her neck and looked over her shoulder at him. He bent his head down and kissed her."Without a doubt."

"I know. It just really blows."

"What does?" she asked.

"That we can't be together. Why did God have us meet just so we couldn't be together?"

"This is the way I see it. First of all, no disrespect to your religious beliefs, but there is no way there is a God, and if there is, he, she, or it doesn't give a shit about us. Secondly, we have been together two times now. Third, it's not as if we are allergic to each other. So, if we both are available by the time my training is over, then we are good to go."

"Ah, first of all, how am I not supposed to be offended that you just shit on my religious beliefs. Secondly, two times will never be enough for me as far as I am concerned. Third, even if I were allergic to you, I would risk anaphylactic shock to be with you, and I am planning on staying totally available," he said.

"OK, first of all, I didn't shit on your religious beliefs. I shared mine, and that is why, for twelve years, I risked my life so people could exercise their right to believe or not believe in their religion without any interference or persecution. Secondly, I totally agree, we are good together. Third, you and I need to continue our lives like normal. I would rather not have us be together while we wait to be together."

"Can you explain that last part?"

"I don't want you to say you're going to wait and then end up finding one of your beautiful women and having your appetite satiated under the guise of, well, in actuality, we weren't together, so it's not like you cheated."

"OK, I can see your reasoning. You don't want me to wait for you like you're going off to war. But I am not going to do that."

"I was in love when I was young and stupid. I was deployed, two tours totaling a year. Before I left, I had been in a relationship with a guy I was head over heels for. He was deployed two months before I got home. Ya know what? Give me a second."

She went into her bedroom and into the closet. She took a box down off the shelf and rummaged around. She pulled out an envelope and went back into the living room.

"Here." She handed him the envelope. He opened it and read the letter.

"He cheated. And he was going to ask me to marry him. The guy after him cheated. The guy after him was murdered. I am not going to give you a loophole to cheat. But do me a favor and don't die."

"I'll do my best on that last one. Just watch my six."

"You believe in God. If it's in 'his plan,' then we will be able to get together when this is all said and done," she said.

"I don't have serious relationships, so I know I will be free."

As you sit on my couch telling me you are going to be waiting to start a serious relationship with me," she said.

"OK, touché."

"Thank you very much. I do like to be right."

He put his arm around her and sat her back into his chest."What is this?" he asked.

He was fondling a necklace she had on. It was a bullet on a leather string."It's a HOGs Tooth."

"It looks like a bullet."

"No. A HOGs Tooth is given to a newly minted sniper after they graduate from scout sniper school. It's a 7.26 round, the ammunition commonly used by the Marines Elite Scout Sniper Corps," she explained.

"OK, that is really, really cool."

"Remember I told you that I was a PIG? Which you kindly took as I was a cop again after being a drill instructor. That actually stands for Professionally Instructed Gunmen. That's what you are before you graduate from sniper school. It's sort of a superstition. It was once said there was a round out there destined to end any sniper's life, the bullet with your name on it. The idea of the HOG's Tooth is that they would be invincible if anyone can acquire the bullet with their name on it."

"OK, so why is it called a hog's tooth?" he asked.

"The HOG is all capital. And it stands for Hunter of Gunmen. You know, a sniper. And hogs hunt pigs in the wild."

"That is absolutely awesome. I would love to hear about what it took for you to get that."

"About my sniper school? That's another story for another shift," she said.

"Or another night on the couch together. Hopefully, in the not-too-distant future."

"If we have a future together. We have to wait till after my solo, You know that."

"FUCK!" he exclaimed. He sat straight up. Her body followed.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"We might have to be together sooner than that."

"Why would that be?"

"We didn't use any protection, and I came DEEP inside you. I can't remember the last time I went al fresco. So, I could be in the running for baby daddy. That would be a blessing and a curse. I want to have a big family as many kids as my wife will have. I will take such diligent care of the mother of my children. Treat her like a goddess."

"Don't worry about getting me pregnant. That's not an issue," Allie said. She sounded very disheartened.

"The pill?"

"You want lots of kids?"

"Yes. Like getting a second and third job to support all of them," he said.

Her heart sank."It sounds like you have everything all figured out."

"All I need is that one special girl. I may have a line on one." He kissed the back of her head and inhaled the smell of her hair.

"It's getting late, and it's already tomorrow. Time to switch gears."

"Oh. Yeah, I guess so. If you're sure you want me to go."

Oh, of course, I want you to stay. Now that I know you want to start your own baseball team, she thought that would put me out of the running. I can never give you what you desire.

"What if I kissed you right now? Wouldn't that mean today would be fucked, and we could start over again tomorrow," he said.

"It's zero hour. I have to meet Russell at 0600, not wake up at 0600, meet him at 0600."

"Alright, but I am leaving under great protest."

"Your complaint has been lodged," she said.

"I have to get an Uber unless you want to take me back to get my truck. I mean, you did ask me to come over."

"I did. And I don't regret it."

"Neither do I, Cara Mia." He went in to kiss her.

She stepped back. "Alex, I can't have children," she blurted out suddenly.

"I mean, you getting pregnant right now would be less than ideal, but I---"

"No. I am unable to bear children. I can't get pregnant or carry a child, ever. I'm not what you are looking for. I'm not who you're looking for. I can't ever give you what you want."

He gently took her hands."You never know, miracles do happen. And they happen all the time," he said.

"Wow, believing in miracles is even more ridiculous than believing in God."

He let her hands go. "OK, that right there, I will not let slide by. There are so many things in this world that can never be explained. You can't be the judge and jury on miracles."

"I'm sure if people dig deep enough, a reason can be found. Or maybe the way to find out just hasn't been invented yet. But there is always an explanation. Bearing a miracle that doesn't exist is the only way I will ever have a baby," she said.

"Like you said, I'm just exercising my right to give my belief, so don't shit on them again."

"Are you having this argument so that you can stay longer?"

"No! Maybe. It is an innate possibility."

"You could wait in here till your ride comes. I'm sorry."

"Is the argument over? I am willing to give examples and sight sources," he said.

She kissed him gently by the corner of his eye. He closed his eyes. He felt his chest tighten. "I'll see you at 0700, you and your six," she whispered into his ear.

She went into her room and gathered up his clothes. When she turned around, he was standing at the door.

"Can't have you going out with no clothes on." She held the clothes out. He took them from her. He looked at her. She looked so sad.

"Do you really think I would like you any less because you can't bear children?" he asked.

"You just said it yourself: you want lots of children. I can't even give you one. I don't see the point of us starting a relationship. It won't lead to a future that you desire."

He looked her straight in the eyes."Cara Mia, all I desire is you."

"You say that now, but trust me in---"

He dropped his clothes and grabbed her. "Just you, Alexsandra," he said.

"Let go of me, please."

"I will when you tell me you believe me. When you tell me that when we can be together, we will."

"I can't do that because I am not going to lie to you just to make us both feel better," she said.

"Kiss me, Allie. Kiss me, and you will know exactly how much it doesn't matter to me." He let her go."I didn't mean to grab you like that. I'm sorry if it hurt."

"No, you didn't hurt me. And I am not going to kiss you."

"Why not?" he asked.

"Because I want it so bad. I'll see you tomorrow or today or whatever. Back to the status quo." She picked up his clothes and handed them back. "Goodnight, Alex. Tell Corporal Alvarez I will see him at 0700."

"Allie, wait—"

She closed the door to her room. She leaned back against the door.

Alex took his clothes and put them on. "This is messed up. Not everything is about you, Alexsandra. You dismissed my feelings entirely."

She slid down the door and sat on the floor. She pulled her knees up to her chest.

"You want to keep it professional, Officer Kingston? Fine, we'll do it your way. Be dressed and ready to go at 0700. If you're even a minute late, I'm writing you up. I'm writing you up if your uniform doesn't pass my inspection." Alex yelled at the bedroom door.

She heard her door slam shut, which made her flinch. She picked up her phone and googled "Cara Mia". She wanted to know why he was calling her that name."My Beloved." She hung her head, and she cried.

He was halfway down the steps when he stopped. He wasn't going to leave her like this. That is not who he is. He may be a player in people's eyes, but he's not a monster. He walked back up the steps and gently opened the door. He heard her crying in her room. He softly tapped on her door with the knuckle of his index finger. She inhaled deeply and wiped her face.

He sat down on the other side of the door. "I'm not leaving you like this. I'll sleep on the floor outside the door all night to know you're OK. You have to open the door at some point," he said.

"You're acting like a petulant child, Alex."

"Well, see, I don't need to have children. I already am one. So, we will have a kid in the family."

She smiled and let out a little snort of a laugh. She stood up. The door opened, and he fell backward into the bedroom. Allie looked down at him.

"Oh damn, this is the best view in the house," he said. He was staring up the T-shirt she had on. "You can kill me if you want. I vote for you sitting on my face and smothering me to death."

"As tempting as that is. Get up," Allie snapped her fingers. "Come on. Up, up, up. Let's go!"

He popped up inches from her face. They looked at each other; he took her by her upper arms, pulled her in, and kissed her. He backed up. "Oops," he said.

"Why did you do that?"

"Why wouldn't I."

"Because I said no."

"No, you said you wanted to. I just gave you what you wanted. I will give you whatever you want, within reason, of course," he said. "You know it's late. I wouldn't get to bed until after one if I had to take an Uber back to my truck. Then go all the way back to Willoughby Hills," he said.

"Where is this going?"

"Can I just stay and leave in the morning? Please."

"You must stay on the couch. I am serious about this coming to an end."

"The couch. No problem." She gathered some blankets and pillows and handed them to him. "Stay... on... the... couch," she reiterated.

"Yes, Ma'am."He gave her a small salute.

****************

Allie walked into the diner at 0545. Russell was already there.

"Fifteen minutes early. You're right on time, Gunny."

"If you're on time, you're late. If you're 15 early, then you're right on time." She smiled.

"Are you hungry? Do you want something to eat?" he asked.

"Actually, I just need coffee; lots and lots of coffee. I can't eat early anymore," she said.

"Makes me queasy."

He motioned to the server. She brought over a cup and filled it to the top.

"Thank you," Allie said. "So, what is going on?"

He reached into his briefcase and pulled out a file folder thick with papers. "Allie, we want you back."

"We? You got a mouse in your pocket?" she asked jokingly.

"No. Let me start over. We want you to set up a sniper program to recruit women."

"You want me to re-enlist? I am not re-enlisting."

"You would be more of a private consultant, a liaison. We would also like you to give them some classroom and technical education. You are one of the best snipers we had in the Corps. We are trying to integrate more women into the spec ops community," he said.

"Wow, I think that is an amazing idea."

The server came back with her coffee."Thank you," she said. "Tell me a little more about what you have in mind."

"It would be the same qualifications. They must earn the rank of Lance Corporal, be selected by their battalion, have 20/20 vision, be rifle experts, and so on. But you would work with the battalion commander to aid in the selection process."

"This sounds very tempting, but I just started here and haven't even worked forty hours yet," Allie said. "How would that look if I just up and quit?"

"It would look like you quit."

"You are such a jackass."

"You enjoy that you can call me that, aren't you?" he said.

"A little."

"Would you at least think about it? Maybe talk about it with the boyfriend."

Her face immediately turned red. She started to play with her fingers. "Corporal Alvarez isn't my boyfriend. He's my FTO," she said.

"And someone that occasionally you take naps with? I'm not an imbecile, nor am I deaf. I heard him in the background last night."

"Would you believe we were doing some after-hours training?" she said.

"Jesus Christ, Gunny, I am not going to snitch on you. I'm just happy to see you found someone. I assume it's after all this time? I know how much Malibu's passing affected you."

"No, really, he's not my boyfriend. He's my training officer. It's not appropriate for us to have a relationship. He or I could get fired, or he could lose his rank or position," she said. She took a drink of her coffee.

"Again, Alex, I am not going to narc. I'm not your commanding officer, and I am not the police captain. Tell me the truth. I know you can't tell anyone else the truth."

She dropped her eyes and said nothing.

"You know what, not my business. I'll let it go," Russell said.

"Then tell me, how are you doing? It's been, what, three years? Have you dated at all?"

"Not unless you count how often I spend the night with Jose Cuervo."

"No, I don't. You can't mourn Ken forever," he said with sympathy.

"I miss him, but I am no longer mourning."

"I heard you got his flag?"

"I did," she said.

"He really loved you."

"He never told me, but I knew."

"And he knew that you loved him. He would have married you," he said.

"I know. He told me in a roundabout way in his death note."

"He came to me and asked me if I thought you would say yes if he asked."

"What did you tell him?" she said.

"I said she absolutely would say yes."

"When did you have this conversation?" she asked.

"A couple weeks before he was KIA." Her eyes started to burn and glisten.

"I'm sorry, Allie. I should have never brought him up."

"Yesterday, today, or tomorrow. It doesn't matter when anyone brings him up; I will always want to cry," she said.

"Would you like anything else?" The server asked as she set down the check.

"Can I get two cups of coffee to go? One black and one with cream and sugar on the side?"

"Sure, no problem at all," the server said.

"It was so good to see you, Allie."

"It was really nice to see you too, Leland. It was a total shock and surprise but a good one. And this job sounds like a fantastic opportunity to help further women in the Corps and to help further the Corps."

The server brought the coffee back to the table, and Lelend paid the check. They both stood up and shared an embrace.

"Think about the job. Take a couple of days. Sleep on it," he said.

"I will."

"Promise?"

"Yes. I promise," Allie said.

They walked out of the diner. Alex was in the lot leaning against the hood of their shop. He gave her a small wave.

"Not your boyfriend, huh?"

"I'll call you within a couple of days."

"Alvarez," he said.

"Sir," Alex answered.

She handed him the coffee. "Alex, what are you doing here?"

"I didn't want you to be late for work. You don't need Corporal Alvarez to write you up."

She smiled at him. "I want to kiss you so badly, Allie," he said.

"We had this talk at length. We are not going to be doing anything until, well, not anytime soon. Thank you for coming to get me, but it was not necessary."

She took a sip of her coffee. "You snuck out early this morning."

They both got into the shop. "I had to leave early. If you were to wake up and I was there, I would have been so tempted to kiss you. That is exactly how I feel now. Thanks for the coffee. It's nice to know that you were thinking of me," Alex said.

"You're my partner. I mean my training officer."

"I wish I was your partner. So, what was your meeting with the First Sergeant about?"

He pulled the car out of the lot."He wants me to return to work for the Marine Corps."

"You mean like re-enlisting?" he asked.

"More of a consultant position."

"Are you going to do it?"

"I don't know. It sounds like a fantastic opportunity, and the fact that they came to me is a huge compliment," she said.

"If you did it, where would you be going? Where would you live?"

"Well, the schools are located at Camp Pendleton in California, Camp Lejeune in North Carolina, and the Marine Corps base in Quantico. I guess I would have to travel around. I am not sure where my actual residence would be."

"When do you have to give him your answer?" he asked.

She could tell that he was visibly upset. "I told him I would let him know by the end of the week."

"What are you going to tell him?"

"Alex, I don't know, I have to think about it," she said.

"You may want to figure it out before we waste any more time training you."

"Waste any more time? When did training me become a waste of time?"

"I didn't mean it like that. It's just if you do take the job, then there definitely will never be an us," Alex said.

"I can't base my life choices on whether we can have a relationship or not."

He said nothing, just drove.

"You understand how big and important this would be for me."

"I guess. I mean, I don't know why I even care. You and I barely know each other, and I am sure any feeling I have can easily be dismissed."

It hurt her to hear him say that. "Why would you say something like that to me?" she asked.

"It's true. Squash this now like you want to, and your leaving won't bother me."

"Alex..." She looked like she was going to cry. "I can't believe you said that. I mean, I know we can't carry on a relationship, but I at least thought we were going to be friends. You said you would be my friend," she said.

She started to play with her fingers.

"Well, let me know what you decide to do. You took someone else's place, and if you decide to leave, that person needs to be offered the job before they go and find another job," he said. He took a long drag on his coffee.

"Can we go back to the station? I'm not feeling very well. I need to get some medication out of my locker."

He didn't say anything. He made a U-turn and headed back towards the station. He pulled into the lot, and she got out of the vehicle.

"Don't take forever. I want to get going and get this day over with."

"So do I. I want to get this whole experience over with. Maybe I should take the job." She slammed the door behind her and walked inside the 4th.

He hit the steering wheel. "Fuck! God. I am such a cocksucker. Treating her like shit will not make you feel better, and it certainly doesn't help the cause. You're a prick, Alvarez."