Chapter 2 : Light from a Dead Star

Day after day, tens of weeks have passed by Dara. She is now in her last year of college. It had been two more anniversary celebrations for her grandparents since she told them about the light from the past that appeared in the night sky. Dara is 20 years old now. She was older, more used to being alone.

The pain of loneliness is still often experienced by her. But Dara began to be more skilled at focusing on the love she received from her family than thinking about her pain. Only two weeks left until her graduation day. She officially graduated a few weeks ago. Her family was very happy to hear the news. Many events have been planned before or after her graduation day. Including the graduation party that her mother had planned, photo session, a dinner, and many other things that Dara couldn't remember.

Dara needs to complete a lot of administrative matters. Starting from returning books that she borrowed from the library, invitation for her family to attend her graduation day, her copy of final assignment books that he needs to print a few more, clothes for her graduation, and much more. Dara almost forgot that she was worried about the loneliness she would feel when her friends had a party together after graduation.

Dara was not disappointed, she also planned a simple party with her family. Although she was quite tired, the good news was that she became the best graduate in her campus out of all the faculties. An achievement that her family is very proud of.

Not only is Dara busy, her family is also busy choosing clothes to wear on Dara's graduation day. All members of Dara's family will attend this event, including Nemma who hasn't moved out of her house yet, even though every year she plans to. The incident 2 years ago with Grandma did not make Nemma hasten to move. Nemma is quite realistic because the money is not enough. Their relationship also gradually improved after the incident. After all, they are mother and daughter. Even though Nemma didn't apologize officially, their relationship just got better.

Dara is getting ready to go to campus again. This time, Dara was allowed to bring her father's old car. Dara has been using it a lot lately. Occasionally she still wants to use her bicycle to exercise. But after being busy with her final assignment, she chose the easier way. Papa also often picks up Dara when she feels really tired to drive by herself.

This time, Dara even felt that she would not have time to have breakfast before leaving. All of their family members were already sitting in the dining room including Nemma.

"I'm sorry I need to leave immediately, I have an appointment with the librarian," said Dara, slightly out of breath.

"You'd better have breakfast before you leave," Mama said a little worriedly.

Dara considered her mother's request. She doesn't like to be late. But actually there is still enough time. If she had breakfast first, she would be about 10 minutes late. Dara considered, maybe it can still be forgiven.

"Okay," said Dara finally.

She tried to be calm while eating and talked to her family as usual. When she finished, Dara left the table first.

"Careful, don't speed," said Papa. Dara smiled and nodded.

Her parents realized Dara was more mature now. Dara said goodbye briefly, then immediately drove to her father's car. Dara needs to remember not to speed. But it turned out to be a bit difficult too. She really refrained from stepping on the gas too hard.

Dara arrived at campus at 8 o'clock exactly. She also made an appointment at 8 o'clock with the librarian. She needed to run to the library which was quite far from the parking lot. Dara takes about 20 minutes to reach the library by walk from the front gate. Students are not allowed to bring a car into the campus.

Dara is embarrassed if she really has to run. She was just trying to walk as fast as she could. This is not the first time for Dara to walk through the campus in a hurry. Often, at the end of her college years, she was quite exhausted, often stayed up late, and woke up late. Even though her father had taken her to campus, Dara often felt more tired because she had to walk in a hurry. However, this is not the time for Dara to reminisce about those times. She needed to arrive at the library immediately.

Dara arrived at the library quite out of breath. Sweat was dripping profusely from her forehead. She's 15 minutes late. She immediately went to the receptionist and asked the whereabouts of Mr. Doddy, the librarian she wanted to meet.

"I have an appointment to meet Mr. Doddy, where is he waiting?" She asked, still trying to catch her breath.

"Pak Doddy hasn't come yet, please wait in the library waiting room," replied the receptionist kindly.

Dara is half relieved, half annoyed. She was relieved that she wasn't late, but she was also annoyed that she had been in such a hurry to walk quickly from the front gate. Dara finally followed the instructions from the library receptionist. She waited in the waiting room indicated by her.

The room, of course, was still empty. Usually the room starts to fill up around 10 am. Dara tried to catch her breath. Looking at her dead phone because she hasn't even had time to charge it yet. Luckily in the library, there are many sources of electricity. She could easily charge her cell phone there.

Dara tried to rest herself. In her tiredness while waiting, she contemplated the 4 years she had spent on campus. She smiled. She remembers the many fun lessons she got and also of course her achievement of being the best graduate student.

Dara remembers how she was often lonely. Have no friends. She recalled the days of group work with Rika and Hani in the library, right next to her waiting room now. Even though she didn't talk much at that time, she still remembers the time working with her friends. Moreover, Dara and her friends' project at that time became one of the best projects.

She also remembered Selly who didn't forget her. Dara also recalled how she had quite a hard time blending in her surroundings on campus. She never played with her friends outside of college hours. She had only dinner together with her laboratory mates a few times. It was still fun for her, even though the event was more formal because it was also attended by lecturers.

Dara doesn't really hang out much, but she's starting to notice that she's not the only person like that. There are some of her friends who act the same as Dara. There are also others who dominate the conversation. They talked about things that Dara didn't understand. Like about their experience traveling abroad. Of course Dara never experienced it. She doesn't really enjoy spending time with her friends. Even so, Dara still feels grateful that there are few moments to remember when she is with them.

Most of her friends are also quiet. Only a few are happy and excited when there is such an activity together. She doesn't know how they behaved when they played together without a lecturers around them. Dara never experienced it. She only attends events organized by her lecturers. Sometimes Dara doesn't feel like herself on campus. If at home she can laugh out loud, joke, even sing when there is a party being held by her family, on campus she is more silent.

Dara also remembers the times when she was alone. When she was walking alone in the rain, she hoped that someone would suddenly approach her from behind and invite her to walk with. But that never happened. She watches too many movies on TV with her grandparents. She would be surprised if it actually happened. When suddenly a stranger approaches her, she will not feel happy, but frightened. That's creepy.

Dara also remembers the last moments in her college days when she often panted like this. She is often late for class. Once upon a time it was raining heavily. Dara was late enough to come to class. She took shelter for a moment in the Mechanical Engineering Building near where she parked her bicycle. Several students did the same.

Dara forgot to bring her umbrella. But she thought if she didn't forget it, the rain was too heavy to pass even with an umbrella. Finally Dara and several people there just stood waiting for the rain to stop. Dara still remembers the cold feeling she felt at that time. Cold and lonely. At a glance, Dara also remembered that she imagined being able to meet the prince on a white horse there. But again, romantic stories have not come to her.

Dara has many memories in her campus. Even though she often feels lonely, when the holidays come, it's easy for Dara to miss her campus. She doesn't know what she will feel after she is no longer in college. Dara has survived these 4 years. This graduation is the most beautiful gift she has received. Her birthday is only 2 days after her graduation day.

When Dara was still daydreaming about her college days, Mr. Doddy approached her without guilt. He was almost 1 hour late from their scheduled meeting. Mr. Doddy apologized briefly. Dara did not protest. She quickly finished her business there and left.

***

Dara activates her cell phone again. Incoming messages from her family group chat. It turned out that there was a sudden invitation from Dara's cousin who recently got married at 17.00. Dara read the message from her mother with a little huff. She was a bit tired that day.

"The event will not be crowded. Mama's niece, Silvi, who just got married 2 months ago invited us to her house."

Dara couldn't argue. It's not a big event. Only her family attended. Dara agreed to attend. Even so, Dara was a little uncomfortable attending such an event. But Dara thought she might not be too clumsy. It was just a normal family dinner.

Dara asked permission to arrive around 7 pm. Her mother agreed. Dara slightly hoped the event was almost over when she came, although the possibility is small. She also hoped that she wouldn't be the center of attention too much since she was the only one who arrived late. She knew today was Nemma's day off. It is likely that her entire family will depart together from her home.

Dara is really busy this day. Her eyes were very tired. But she was grateful that everything she needed to do was done. Finally she could take a short vacation while waiting for her graduation day. At least she can calm down because the administration of her graduation has been completed, even though she already has many plans with her family.

She has pocketed a ticket to attend her graduation day. That means she doesn't have to worry anymore. Her family can be very disappointed if they are not allowed to attend. After Dara reported that she had successfully passed her graduation trial, her family was very enthusiastic about preparing various things for Dara's graduation day, which they had been waiting for. Dara couldn't imagine if her carelessness in managing administrative matters could prevent them from being allowed to attend her graduation day.

It was almost 7 pm. Dara didn't have time to check her cellphone while she was busy taking care of many things that day. There are no incoming messages in the family chat group. She was a little surprised because usually there was always a conversation there. All her family members are at home. So they can communicate directly. Dara informs her family that she may be late. In fact, Dara did that on purpose, so that she wouldn't have to stay there for too long.

Dara rested a little in her father's old car. She wanted to sleep in the car. She was so tired. She noticed she was moving with a high frequency of movement throughout the day. Surely more energy she expended. She knew she still forgot how to live slowly. She realized that she was looking at the stars less and less. She only briefly enjoyed her favorite blue sky during the day just like that.

Dara had planned to go home first so that she would be late. Unfortunately she was already very tired. She immediately headed for her cousin's house. Hopefully Dara still remembers the way there. She had only been there once, and his father drove. They helped carry her cousin's stuff when they moved there recently.

Finally Dara mustered the last of her strength to drive her father's car. Dara tried to remember the direction to her cousin's house in her quite exhausted condition. She planned to ask Nemma to take her place when they got home. Dara is very tired.

Arriving at the destination address, Dara parked the car beside the highway. The small housing cluster her cousin lives in is quite comfortable. Many trees are beautiful. The houses don't have fences because there is already a centralized guard from the front gate guarded by a security guard there.

Dara began to feel sleepy when she contacted her family again. No one answered the message. Dara was a little hesitant to knock on her cousin's house, but she had no other choice. The house looks empty. Dara rang the doorbell many times but there was no answer.

For a moment Dara considered whether she had misrecognized her cousin's house. She didn't know her cousin's phone number. She rarely keeps anyone's phone number. She rarely contacted anyone. Many of the numbers on her chat list were nameless, making it difficult for her to find the number she wanted to contact again.

She was pretty sure the address was correct. Even though the houses in the cluster look the same, Dara is sure that her cousin painted the door of her house a bright red color. Dara remembers it very well because she had talked about it with her father.

Dara tried to contact all her family members. Her parents' cell phone is not active. Dara is confused. She hadn't had a bad feeling when she tried to call Nemma's cell phone. There was a ringing dial tone which made Dara relieved. But soon her mind realized the various logics that she began to connect.

"Dara?" The voice that was heard was not Nemma's. Her voice trembled, as if she was holding back tears. Dara's body went limp. Her logic translates that something is happening.

Dara's voice was difficult to make out to answer the voice of the woman she recognized as her cousin, Silvi. She didn't want to hear what her head was thinking. The result of a brief thought from the information she had managed to connect, she didn't want to admit.

"This is Dara?" said the voice again in a still trembling voice. Dara recognized this voice, the voice of her cousin, Silvi.

"Yes," Dara answered slowly. Dara couldn't think much. Her thoughts suddenly became difficult for her to control.

"Where are you?"

"At your house, I just arrived."

Dara didn't even dare to ask why she was holding Nemma's cell phone. She also did not dare to ask where her family was. As if she could understand Dara's situation, Silvi didn't insist on making Dara talk a lot.

"Wait there, okay? My husband will take you there."

"Okay," Dara answered shortly.

Dara didn't want to think about anything bad. But she had a hard time keeping her logic going. The drowsiness and tiredness instantly disappeared. Her body still felt weak. She had trouble feeling anything, except the feeling of dread that overtook her. Her tears began to fall silently, out of control.

Dara sat herself on the porch of Silvi's house just like that. She almost had trouble getting her body straight. Her gaze was vacant with tears still streaming down her cheeks. Even so, she still hoped all was well.

Dara didn't know how long she waited, Dara didn't count. She saw her cousin's car had returned. Dara doesn't talk much. She walked wearily to the car. She didn't really hear what her cousin's husband was talking about. She didn't want to hear anything more precisely. She just smiled briefly and got into the car without speaking.

On the way Dara still couldn't hold back her tears that kept falling silently. Silvi's husband was wise enough not to talk to her. Dara had a hard time controlling herself. Many questions popped up in her head. But she didn't want to answer that question. She couldn't stop guessing what was really going on. She wanted to run away from all the facts that exist. She wanted to run away from all the possibilities she had in mind.

They arrive at the hospital. Dara followed Silvi's husband still without speaking. The steps are getting weaker. She did not have enough food for the day, but she wasn't sure her condition had weakened just because of that. Dara then saw Silvi walking towards her, hugging her. Dara was still in Silvi's arms, who was crying loudly. She didn't know what had happened yet, but it was easy for her to understand. Something bad is going on.

***

Dara doesn't know how much time has passed since she arrived at the hospital. Tears were still flowing down from her eyes, she couldn't control it. She looked at her cell phone, it was exactly 12 o'clock at night. She sat alone in an empty hospital hallway.

Dara still hears people talking in the hallway next door. A voice she could easily hear amidst the silence she felt. She doesn't know what she really felt, she didn't really understand it. Mixed feelings. The pain that enveloped her heart dominated the other feelings.

Her eyes barely blinked as she was still trying to digest the information she had just hours ago. Her family had a car accident that afternoon. Dara didn't really listen to Silvi's explanation about what happened. She couldn't concentrate, or maybe she didn't want to hear it either.

Her father died at the scene of the accident. Grandma, Grandpa, Mama, and Nemma are still in care. Dara still hopes that everyone can be safe. A few hours ago, the hospital was full of neighbors and relatives who visited them. They support Dara. Dara doesn't remember them, she barely remembers anything. She still hoped that everything she was experiencing now was just a dream that she would forget once she woke up in the morning.

All her relatives had gone home, leaving her alone there. They needed to take care of preparations for his father's funeral tomorrow morning. Dara is very grateful that they helped Dara a lot who didn't know what to do in a situation like this.

Just when Dara thought she was alone there, a man wearing a police uniform approached her. "You should go home and rest," he said to Dara.

Dara didn't pay attention to him, she didn't even look at him. She just shook her head. The policeman could understand Dara's condition. Without saying much, he left. Dara faintly heard him talking to someone standing not far away.

"You drive, Bil, Papa is a bit tired."

Dara doesn't want to go home. She was also very tired. She could not bear to see his father's body. She still couldn't accept it. She still needed time to understand the state she was in. She chose to remain in the hospital, waiting for further news from her family who are still in treatment.

Dara's face began to turn pale, her eyes felt heavy, but she didn't feel sleepy or hungry. Dara thought, if something happened to her, she would be easier to handle if she was in the hospital. Dara's mind went blank. She couldn't think or reminisce anything about her father. She only felt the pain of such a great loss.

"Excuse me, are you a relative of the patients?" asked a nurse who Dara did not realize was already in front of her.

Dara looked up at her, wiped her tears, then nodded slowly. "The patient named Nemma Trycia has regained consciousness. However, her condition is not stable. Now she's been transferred to room 301."

"Okay, thank you very much," said Dara.

Dara felt a little relief. Hope rose in her chest again. She immediately followed the nurse who showed her the room where Nemma was being treated. Dara entered very carefully.

The room chosen by Silvi and her husband turned out to be a VIP class. Not the highest class VIP, but private enough for Dara to rest there. Nemma lay covered with bandages on her body. Dara saw at a glance, it seemed that her leg was the most injured. She also had a bandage on her head. Dara couldn't bear to look at her any longer.

Dara then lay down on the small sofa that was there. She tried not to make much noise. She closed her eyes even though she wasn't asleep. She was really tired. Her body felt good after she could straighten her bones again.

Dara still hopes that her family will be fine. Dara did not want to accept that her father had left her. Dara kept her eyes closed while praying in her heart. Until she finally fell asleep.

Dara flinched slightly when a nurse woke her up. It was easy for her to wake up again, she didn't sleep too well. She glanced at her watch it was still 1 pm before hearing the nurse speak.

"Mrs. Lisa Prasasti, Mr. Gunawan, and Mrs. Lina have passed away. I'm so sorry for your loss."

Dara no longer remembers what happened after she heard the shocking news. She was unconscious.

***

Dara lay in her dark room alone. Her eyes were swollen. For 3 days she cried continuously. Her body felt thinner. She did not take care of her food intake when she was preparing for her final assignment. Now she has no appetite at all.

Funerals for her father, mother, grandmother, and grandfather have been taken care of by her mother's relatives. Dara could barely do anything. Now everyone has left her house. She lived alone in the house, a house where every corner holds many memories.

Nemma is still hospitalized. Her leg is broken, it is likely that she will have difficulty walking for long periods of time. But the doctor said she could still recover. Dara is grateful that there are still family members who survived the accident. Although she didn't know Nemma would still want to live with her after this, considering her long-standing desire to move out of the house.

Dara only came home for a while to pick up things. In her grief she still has to look after Nemma in the hospital. Dara herself actually needs medical treatment. Dara doesn't want to give up her life after this. Although she clearly found it difficult to move. The sadness, the pain, she felt very clearly. Dara can not linger lamenting her life. She needed to return to the hospital immediately. She had left Nemma there alone long enough.

What she does in the hospital is not much different from what sge does at home. Dara was silent a lot. She didn't try to talk to Nemma. Dara didn't know what to talk to her about. Her feelings are still mixed. Tears often flowed down her cheeks. Like Dara who didn't want to talk much, Nemma also felt the same way.

Dara's duties in the hospital are also not many. Nemma was getting better. Dara is grateful for that. Dara only occasionally takes her to the toilet when there is no nurse to help her.

Day after day. Dara's feelings are still the same. She was getting closer to her graduation day. Nemma obviously couldn't attend the event. At first, Dara didn't want to attend neither. But Nemma asked Dara to attend the historic moment in her life even though she needed to be alone. Totally alone.

Dara almost forgot that she didn't even have friends in her college. The absence of her family will make her feel even more uncomfortable and lonely. Dara could not predict what would happen that day. She's just trying to do it without thinking much.

The day before the graduation ceremony, Dara stay at her house. Dara is forced to leave Nemma alone in the hospital. She had been quite exhausted these past few days. She needed a long, long rest so her body could feel better.

"Tity, is it okay to be alone here?" she asked before actually leaving the hospital.

"It's okay, are you okay to come alone tomorrow?"

"It is okay."

Dara tried to smile as she said goodbye. Dara doesn't really like being in the hospital. The atmosphere there reminded her of the day her family's accident. She didn't want to remember. But being at home is also not much different. She had too many memories in that house. She wasn't sure if she would one day get used to living without her family. But she had no other choice, but to move on. She didn't want to stop and just give up.

***

On graduation day, as Dara expected, she couldn't hold back tears for too long. Just seeing the dress that she will use to take pictures with her family already made her hurt. She wanted to give up his, but she tried to brace herself. Dara wiped her tears and made herself ready.

Dara prepares her food alone and for the first time she eats alone at her dining table. Dara did not want to imagine anything. She didn't want to imagine the happiness that would shine on her family's faces if they were still around today. Dara tried to be strong while eating a few pieces of fruit into her mouth. Her tears were really hard to hold, the more she held it in, the more she wanted to explode all the emotions that were in her heart.

Dara walked languidly towards her father's old car. She heads to her college with a broken heart. Arriving there, Dara did not pay much attention to the surroundings. Usually she feels alone, lonely, and isolated when her friends talk to each other without her. This time, she felt more lonely. Several friends approached her to give their condolences. One of them is Sally.

"I'm sorry for what happened to your family. I'm sorry I couldn't attend their funeral," she said empathetically. Dara just smiled and nodded. She had no spirit to make conversation. She just wanted to quickly finish the graduation ceremony and go home.

Dara did not pay much attention when her name was mentioned as the best graduate. Dara stood up and went up to the podium to receive the award. Dara tried to smile while taking a group photo, then Dara came down from the stage, bringing her award paper and graduation certificate. Dara wants to go straight home, but she knew she couldn't do it. The event isn't over yet. She needed to return to his seat. Dara followed the rest of agenda with a blank mind. In the end of the event, all the graduates taking pictures and they were all allowed to leave the building.

The part that Dara didn't imagine was when she came out alone from the building. No one approached her. Everyone was welcomed by their family and friends. But Dara is alone. She couldn't control her tears. Mixed feelings. She remembers her family. The feeling of loneliness and the pain of having no friends deepened. She felt like she had no one. Some children take pictures, joke with their friends. Some exchange gifts. There was not a single flower in Dara's hand. She did not receive any gifts.

Dara realizes her shortcomings. She have no friend. She felt lousy. As usual Dara blamed herself for the misfortunes that happened in her life. Dara froze in the crowd for a while, until finally She half ran to the car park. Past the cheers that didn't pay any attention to her at all.

***

She burst into tears when she was alone in the car. Graduation day, which should have been one of her happiest moments, turned out to be one of the saddest moments she had ever experienced in her life. She still had an event to attend. Farewell party with her classmate. But she couldn't take it anymore. Dara left that place. She didn't know where to go. She wanted to go far far away. She wanted to go as far as she could. But all she could think of was home. There was nowhere else she could think of.

Dara returns to her house. She was crying on the sofa where she used to talk to her grandfather. Every corner of the house reminded her of her family's affection. Dara miss them all. Dara was still sobbing loudly when there was a knock on her door. Dara saw a policeman behind her front door. She wiped her tears carelessly, then opened the door. She didn't care anymore what people would think. She didn't care about anything.

"Good Afternoon Dara."

Dara knew the owner of the voice who greeted her in a friendly manner. He was her neighbor, his father's best friend. His name is Mr. Reynolds. He works for in police station where her family's accident was investigated. Dara is a little reluctant to talk to him at this time. Dara didn't want to hear anything about the accident.

"Good afternoon Mr. Reynold , is there anything I can help you with?"

"It's nothing, I just brought food from my wife," he said a little nervously as he handed the package he brought to Dara. "And here is a letter from the police. There are new reports of accidents." There was a hint of doubt in Mr. Reynold's words.

"Okay Mr. Reynold, thank you very much," Dara said as she accepted the letter he gave.

"Okay then, I need to get back to the office," said Mr. Reynold still awkwardly.

Dara understood the awkwardness that Mr. Reynold felt. She didn't want others to worry about her condition. Mr. Reynold realized Dara was in hard position. Dara wanted to show that she was okay, but it was difficult for her to do so. Dara opened the letter. She needs to go to the police station tomorrow.

Dara realized it was getting late. She needed to return to the hospital to. Her feelings were still in turmoil, she didn't bring her award and graduation certificate to the hospital. She didn't want to talk about her graduation with Nemma. Dara was also sure that Nemma wasn't too interested in that either.

***

The police station is not a familiar place for Dara. She was a little scared to go in at first. But she steeled herself to enter. The principle is still the same, she doesn't want to think much and just live.

She didn't really understand what the policemen were talking about. She tried to listen to the explanation given. Her mind was indeed difficult to concentrate. She didn't say much or ask questions. There were only a few things she remembered after listening to their explanation, it turned out that there was a driver who grazed her father's taxi. It is thought the driver was drunk.

Dara does not want to see the CCTV footage recorded on the streets. She couldn't do it yet. She left all investigations to the police. Dara is grateful, Mr. Reynold also accompanied her.

The negligent driver has not been caught. Dara didn't really understand how she felt at that moment. She didn't want to find anyone to blame for all the pain she felt after her family member died. Dara doesn't want to focus herself on revenge. She was tired and she felt her heart grow tired as she harbored hatred.

Dara just wanted to live her life again. Regarding the person who was thought to have caused her family harm, she didn't want to spend too much time thinking about it. She also did not really understand the legal process that took place.

Many details were explained by the police to her. Dara just listened, even though she didn't want to know anymore. The accident brought pain to Dara, the more she remembered the more she felt the pain. She was grateful that she was finally able to go home after all the process was over.

Dara returned to the hospital. She didn't talk about what happened at the police station to Nemma. Dara doesn't want to talk about it. She also didn't want Nemma to be reminded of what had happened to their family.

Dara felt she could not continue to dissolve in her grief. She needs to get up. A company had offered her a job. Dara did not have much time to think about the offer. She immediately agreed. Dara is required to start work next Monday. She didn't know Nemma could come home or not. Dara realized she didn't think much of Nemma when she made her decision.

That afternoon at the hospital, Dara had started studying the files from her new office. Before Dara officially started working, she had been sent various documents. Nemma's condition has improved. Dara never asked about how Nemma would continue working until Dara realized that Nemma had been fired. Dara hears Nemma talking to Bella, her former college friend and office mate. Dara refused to enter the room when she heard them talking.

"I can't believe our boss could just fire you." Bella looked furious. "You've worked hard, when they don't need you anymore, you just get kicked."

Dara was stunned to hear that. She didn't want to hear any further. She realized, Nemma now had a flaw. She doesn't know when her leg will heal. Dara knows Nemma's job requires her to often go out of town. As one of the core administrative staff at the company where she works, Nemma is very reliable.

Dara asked herself, is there no other position that Nemma can occupy with her current condition in the company? Dara could feel the same anger as Bella. But Dara also slightly blamed herself for not being able to approach Nemma. She was unable to provide direct support to her. Nemma was like a cold iceberg. Hard to climb, hard to warm up. Dara doesn't know how to start building a better relationship with her.

Dara sat herself in the hospital waiting room which was not too crowded. She glanced at the calendar on her cell phone. She realized that her birthday had already passed. She didn't even remember it. The day is approaching the end of the week. Only 3 days left before Dara starts work. Dara doesn't know what to do to help Nemma. She didn't even know if Nemma needed her help or not.

Nemma was able to go to the toilet on her own with Dara's help. Nemma tells her that she wants to learn to do everything independently. Dara was still lost in thought when the nurse approached her, asking her to see the doctor in charge of Nemma's treatment.

"Your aunt can come home tomorrow. Her condition has greatly improved. No damage to internal organs. She just needs to recover until her leg can heal," the doctor told Dara.

"Can my aunt's leg be healed?" Dara asked hopefully.

"Hopefully can. Chances are high, but it will take time. Your aunt is very lucky."

Dara nodded. She was grateful that Nemma still had a chance to recover.

"Get well soon for your aunt."

"Thank you very much doctor."

Dara did not immediately return to Nemma's room to give this news. She made space for Nemma to talk freely with Bella. She waited in the waiting room alone. The pain and loss she still felt when she was alone. Dara tried not to remember it.

***

Finally the day came for Nemma to come home from the hospital. Dara doesn't want to see Nemma's face, which looks very devastated and depressed by her current condition. When Dara told her that she would be working from next Monday, her expression was flat.

Dara realized she needed to work now. There was not much money left by her family and Nemma was now out of work. She needs to take over her father's responsibility to work. Dara did not discuss their financial much with Nemma. In fact, she never really discussed anything. Dara didn't know what to do exactly. Her head suddenly felt full when she realized that she needed to take care of all the things her father and mother used to take care of.

Nemma didn't make much effort to talk to Dara either. She also still looked devastated. When she got home, she went straight to her room without saying much. Dara just delivered the food to her room and then let Nemma rest.

In her room, Dara notices some of her family's stuff. One of the things she looked up to for a long time was the wedding ring of her grandparents that her grandmother was going to give to her 2 years ago. Now the tears are no longer flowing down her cheeks. She just looked at the ring blankly. Her mind was also blank.

Dara also saw a photo taken 2 years ago with her grandfather's pink polariod camera. Her face in the photo was smiling broadly. She couldn't remember the last time she smiled like that. Her face now feels stiff and looks tired.

Dara moved her lips to smile. Just to relax her facial muscles. She felt the stiffness on her face. Dara realized, when her face was bent downwards, making her tired more quickly. Though it looked strange in the mirror as she forced herself to smile. After a long time of crying, she was finally comforted by her own funny face.

Dara did not want to dissolve in her sadness anymore. She chose to spend time studying her work documents. Unknowingly she began to dissolve and began to forget the pain.

The next morning, Dara came out of her room for breakfast. No food is served on the dining table. She had almost forgotten that her grandmother and mother were gone. Dara felt lonely again. The house feels empty. Quieter than usual. There was no sound of the TV from the living room where Grandpa used to watch there.

No father in the front garage struggling with his car. Nemma was used to being in her room and not interacting much with their family. But this time Dara hoped that Nemma could accompany her to eat or just talk to her.

Dara didn't want to be immersed in her feelings for too long. She needs to eat. Dara finally found affordable catering for her to order. Her life must go on. She had never seen Nemma cook. Dara assumes her aunt can't do it.

Dara still holds her family's account. Although a little hesitant, Dara thought of shifting the responsibility to Nemma. She wanted Nemma to improve too. Even though she knows, Nemma is not very good at managing her personal finances. But Dara felt, maybe it's time for Nemma to learn.

After the food catering was taken care of, Dara knocked on her aunt's room somewhat reluctantly. As she had thought before, approaching Nemma was like approaching an iceberg. She saw Nemma still lying in bed. Looks disorganized and uninspired. Dara tried to adjust her facial expression to look natural. Even though she was worried.

Dara put the food on Nemma's dressing table. Nemma's room was only slightly larger than hers. There is no study table there. There is only a dressing table and a cupboard which is bigger than Dara's. Many things piled up in the corner of the room, such as bags and shoes that were not too neatly arranged. This is not surprising because Nemma loves shopping.

Dara dared to start talking. She had composed the sentence in her head before daring to knock on the door of her aunt's room. "I've ordered catering and have already paid for it for a month. This is Papa's account," Dara keeps her father's account near the food she brings. "I work tomorrow. I've also sent the catering phone number to you via chat. I already told the caterer that for next month, Tity will take care of it."

Dara spoke with fear. She left no choice for her aunt. She thought, if Nemma didn't agree with what she had decided, Nemma would talk. It seemed easier for Dara than she had to force Nemma to give an answer to the choices she was offered. She didn't know how to have a good discussion with Nemma. Dara just hoped that Nemma could understand it.

"Okay, I'll take care of it later," said Nemma in a weak voice.

Dara couldn't guess Nemma's feelings or expression, which looked flat. Dara didn't want to think about it too much. She was already relieved. The food business was done. Now she can start work in peace. She didn't know what would happen next in her life after this. Dara hopes that everything will be fine.

***

On Dara's first day of work, she woke up a little late. She caught a glimpse of Nemma communicating with the caterer at the front door as she was getting ready. When Dara came out of her room, Nemma was already in the dining room, waiting for her to have breakfast together.

There was silence as they ate. No one started the conversation. It's not too awkward for Dara, she often experiences it on campus, it's just that she didn't expect to experience it at home too. Even so, Dara is still grateful that Nemma finally looks alive again, although there was no joy on her face yet. Even before that, Dara rarely saw Nemma so cheerful. She had only ever seen her smile once in a while.

When Dara was about to leave for her office, someone knocked on their door. Nemma stood first, signaling that she would open the door. Dara then cleaned up their breakfast plate and washed them. The house is not too big so Dara can hear clearly who was coming. Mr. Reynolds returned to visit their house.

Dara immediately left the dishes that. Her attention was distracted, she wanted to follow the conversation between her aunt and Mr. Reynold. She did not know what prompted it. Previously she didn't want to know much about her family's accident. Maybe she was a little worried that Nemma would be hit again if she listened to the information about her accident alone. Even though Dara didn't know, if she listened with her, would she help Nemma or not.

Dara approached them. Mr. Reynold and Nemma sat across from each other in their living room. Mr. Reynold stopped talking for a moment when Dara joined in. Dara nodded slowly at him, then sat down beside Nemma. There was a moment of silence, until Mr. Reynold opened the conversation again.

"I will continue with the explanation, so the driver who grazed Mr. Toni's taxi has been arrested."

Nemma and Dara did not respond. Almost at the same time they put their faces together. Dara was still the same, she still didn't want to hear much about the accident. Fortunately Mr. Reynold was wise enough to lead the conversation and make things less awkward.

"There needs to be a family representative who goes to the police station again. It could be tomorrow or the day after."

"Okay sir, let me go there," said Dara, finally getting up the courage to speak.

"Okay then, I have to go back to the office. Here is another meal from my wife."

Mr. Reynold handed her a package similar to the one Dara received the other day. Nemma accepted the package containing the still warm food.

"Thank you very much sir," Dara and Nemma said almost at the same time.

Dara escorted Mr. Reynold to the front door. Nemma was still frozen in place, staring blankly at the package in her hand.

"Papa is a great driver. But that person wasn't careful…" Dara didn't continue her sentence. She realized she didn't want to discuss anything about the accident anymore, especially with Nemma.

"I'm a bit late, Tity. I must leave."

Dara quickly entered the room. She didn't want the atmosphere to get any more awkward. She didn't have time to think any further. She quickly took the pile of files on her desk, bag, laptop, and then slid away, leaving Nemma still frozen in her seat.

Nemma was still holding the package Mr. Reynold had given her with her face lowered. Dara didn't pay attention anymore when Dara said goodbye and Nemma didn't answer. It seemed that Nemma was indeed lost in her own daydream. Dara felt guilty again. She blamed herself again. She felt unable to comfort Nemma or just stay beside her. She felt helpless.

***

The following days, Dara lived without much change. Both Dara and Nemma were getting used to the routine. Dara began to be distracted by her work. She liked the busyness she got. She learned a lot of new things. Her first days at work were pleasant for her.

Dara also met a lot of new people. They didn't interact much, each of them was quite busy with their own work. But at lunch time they get together and Dara was happy that she finally has enough friends. she no longer had to eat alone. Even though they didn't interact much, Dara felt a new atmosphere when she started to blend in with her surroundings now.

Meanwhile, several times Dara was still required to come to the police station. Nemma was also questioned by the police. Mr. Reynold was kind enough to pick up Nemma while Dara was at work. The trial was also still ongoing. She couldn't accompany Nemma to the court due to her busy schedule. Dara is grateful that they have been helped a lot by Mr. Reynold. Dara was actually glad that she was so busy that she didn't have to spend a lot of her energy remembering the accident. Dara saw the person responsible for the family accident. She couldn't feel anything.

Dara's work was quite a lot, even though she just started working. Dara did not really follow the progress of the case anymore. After the negligent driver was put on trial, even Dara didn't want to remember him anymore. She tried to forgive and forget. Nemma has also improve a lot. Most of the household, she did it. Nemma wasn't as good as Mama and Grandma, but Dara was quite happy to see her, even though she didn't have enough time to pay attention. Dara also didn't have enough time to think about how to communicate better with Nemma. Dara felt, she also needed to recover herself first.

That night Dara came home quite late. She was so exhausted. Nemma had already entered her room. Dara didn't want to disturb Nemma, even though she probably wasn't asleep yet. Dara took the time to eat dinner even though she was very tired. Her stomach wasn't hungry, but she realized that the last time she ate was lunch at her office. And even then a little rushed because there was a deadline that she needs to work on. The pace of her life is getting higher.

After she finished washing dishes, Dara returned to her room. She lay down on the bed with her eyes closed. She didn't even have time to wash her face. She was so tired. Her jobs distract her from her pain. But sometimes she still felt longing. Dara closed her eyes and tears fell again. Every night her mother came to her room. Dara can remember too many memories. She couldn't forget her family.

Dara imagined them together looking at the shining stars in the sky. Have fun together, be happy together. Dara has no one to talk to now. She used to be able to tell anything to her grandfather. Dara thought, could she still see the light from her past? Could she still see the light from the stars that had now ceased to shine? Dara had opened her eyes again, which were already very heavy, but the sleepiness overcame her. She was so exhausted that she finally fell asleep with the longing she still felt in her heart.

***