The story premise is good.✅
The pacing is nice.✅
The characters are great.✅
Grammar is...not really good I would say. It would be better if you use Grammarly and also read other authors' books to understand how they write and explain things.
The writing style is not appealing, try to be creative in how to write, rather than just plainly writing each and everything in simple words.(This too can be improved as long as you 'continue writing' and READING other novels as an AUTHOR and NOT AS A READER).
The story is beautiful though, if you can correct all the grammers, I believe the story will surely bloom with time.