Star Wars: Blurred Lines

"Man, what the fuck did I sleep on last night." I wondered as all I felt when I woke up was something sharp digging into my back.

When I opened my eyes I almost shat myself, turning my head to see where I was and fuck me it wasn't a pleasant surprise. I thought that I was going to wake up in one of my mates floors, or even better some hot chicks house.

"Where in the absolute fuck am I?" I stressed, sincerely hoping I was just having some fucked up lucid dream. The rocky surroundings were bathed in a blood-red light as the sun struggled to pierce through the clouds, and bang in the middle of it all was me on some rock wondering where the fuck I am.

"Definitely not Scotland anyway" I said out loud. At this point I've no idea where I am, how I got here or what I should be doing.

Last thing I can remember was being out with the lads at the local pub having a good time since it was a Friday, I mean what else are you supposed to do when your off work for the next two days. Obviously shit got taken too far at some point since I can remember squat after a certain point, but it's not like it's the first time it happened...

First time I woke up on a different fucking planet though.

"Well shit" I grunted while rubbing my face with a hand that seemed significantly smaller than usual but bigger at the same time. Looking down at them and seeing some big ass tribal looking tattoos that were definitely never there before was weird, I've never had a tattoo before so colour me surprised when I seen my entire arm covered in them with some grey skin underneath.

"Think Lycan think" I agonized while trying my damn best to figure out what happened. After a few seconds of racking my brain I found some memories that were unquestionably not mine, full of weird shit too. Some kid that lived on some planet called Iridonia with a bunch of guys that called themselves the nightbrothers before getting yoinked with some other kids by some women to get some ritual done on them. They all had horns too.

So basically after getting took from some sort of male slave camp by the nightsister ladies, he met this shady looking mother woman before getting clocked out by a tap to the forehead. Some how the memories seem similar to something I watched a couple years back...

"No fucking way" I gawked, like seriously how can I not be surprised when I wake up in what I assume to be a galaxy far far away. As in the place where there's all sorts of futuristic tech and jedi swing lightsabers around and do mad stuff with the force. That shits all sorts of cool.

Quickly standing up I felt all over my body. Nope not in that way you pervs, since I don't have any way to see my self just now I'm trying to see if I've got any more weird bits and bobs on my body, minus the two long horns at the top of my forehead a several smaller ones round the crown of my head. That's nice and all but what's not so nice is that I'm fucking nearly 5ft ft tall, sure It's bigger compared too any other 4 year old I know but a far cry from what I'm used too.

Looking across my torso I watched as muscles that should never be on a 4 year old rippled with my every move. At least those night sisters done me a solid giving me a body like this, too bad this guy and the others died from a mind break after it was done. Not my problem anyways.

The only person I can remember seeing having this ritual done on them in star wars was Savage Opress, and after it he was a beast of a man, err well dathomirain zabrak. Guess I'll have to get used to seeing more species than humans, and not being human myself. In any case this body's jacked and I didn't even have to work out, which is a score in my books. Hope I can do all the force shit too, If Savage got some midichlorian juicing done to him through the ritual why can't I.

After flipping out for a while after that revelation I got back to the problem at hand. Not dying on this shithole called dathomir, because from what I know of this place it's that basically everything on this planet can kill you. No wonder though, anything that can kick it here has to be strong as hell or just good at surviving. Hope I don't run into any chirodactyls and bane back spiders, or even worse a rancor because no chance am I surviving that, I know this body's strong and all but I'd get munched before I could say 'another round'.

Looking around for somewhere to think about my survival plan, I headed up to the nearest rocky hill that I could use as a vantage point.

A climb and a half later I make it to the top and get a better look at dathomir, "yep total shit hole" I said. All around me was either rocks, red mist, hills made of rocks, the odd lake, some swampland and did I mention more rocks. Man this place is looking less survivable by the second, I hope this body can live without food for a while because so far I'm not seeing anything edible apart from some plant, and I can't even eat them since this body's carnivorous. What's the point in being strong as fuck if you don't have anything to eat.

Right, first plan of action, find dinner. I know where I can get water so food is the top priority, First of all I need some kind of weapon the food wont kill itself. So I being looking around for some sharp fucking rocks, what I'd do to have a lightsaber right now shame that they don't fall out the sky.

Nope. Still nothing, what bullshit is this, where's the cheats and powers I got for transmigrating for fucks sake. Transmigration's nothing like it is in all those fanfictions I read, never even got to speak to the big G before I came here. Just got dropped in a random body and left for dead on a planet filled with monsters. Didn't even get to say bye to ma family and shit.

I started getting worked up dangerously quickly, so before I totally lost my cool I started taking deep breaths, "ahhh" repeatedly breathing in and out for a few minutes. I know I had a bit of a temper before I came here but nothing too bad. I guess that Savage was turned into rage incarnate before the ritual so he could use the darkside easier, so maybe it's the same with me. Nah probably just the stress of everything happening right now.

Suppose I'll find out if I'm prone to negative emotions soon enough, I doubt I'll be able to stay calm trying to survive here.

After spending a minute or two... or ten calming down, clenching my jaw I stand up and finally proceeded to look for some sort of weapon. I'll head in the direction of the nearest lake to get a drink of water while I'm at it.