Reviews of Ergon V

Updates: Looks pretty stable and consistent so it works for me. Writing: The author has a rich vocabulary and the narration style captures the reader’s attention and immerses them. There was a balance of descriptions and dialogues, and chapters were long enough to add layers to the plot and character little by little. However, there were some awkward phrasing and I noticed there were incorrect usage of pronouns in every chapter I’ve read thus far. For example, when the author is narrating in Saori’s POV about her brother, it’ll be “his brother”. Or when narrating in Hayato’s POV, it’ll be “her sister”, or in Tetsuya’s POV it’ll be “her daughter” etc. Of course they’re minor grammatical errors and won’t stop a reader from enjoying the full story, but it does throw the reader off course since it happens a few times in every chapter. Also in this example (and similar ones in the text have been noted): “After she exchanged her shoes for slippers—which were stored in shoe racks next to the door—, she followed […]” The comma after long dash is not needed since it already acts to replace the comma. Again, these are very minor issues and author won’t lose readers from it but since I noted that these errors were repeated several times, I thought I’d bring it up to attention. Story & World: The plot is heavily focused on political/military action and it is moving at a gradual speed. The progression of the story also smoothly connects to the world design. There are enough mysteries and action in each chapter to keep the readers on their toes. The way the author narrates the plot you can tell that something big will happen later in the story; taking small, detailed steps and building towards the climax/arc. Characters: The development of the characters is excellent at this point. It is still early in the story but we are able to learn bits and pieces of the character’s personality and past with each chapter. They each have their own unique traits and are easy to differentiate, which makes them less 2D. My favourite’s gotta be Saori at the moment. She’s got demons of her own but definitely not a damsel in distress. Overall, if you are looking for a story with action, thrills, politics and military tactics then this story is definitely for you!

Beautiful. I have to say that the story so far is masterfully written and effortlessly immersive. The descriptions used are lovely and draw the reader in. The action in this story is written in such a way that makes you feel you are there on the scene. The story is currently moving at a moderate pace and the world building is currently great. The quality of the writing is better than a lot of the novels on this website. There are little to no grammatical errors that I can currently find. Looking forward to more! Keep up the good work, author :)

I enjoyed reading this novel. It has a good plot and is action-packed and interesting. I like how the characters were developed and how you portrayed their emotions very clearly. There are some phrases which are a bit awkward but the story flows pretty well. At the start I was a bit uncomfortable with the names as they were in another language. I like how the story is realistic and logical. There are some great descriptions that show good imagery. Great work author The 'Sentinels' reminds me of a Marvel comic.😁

Update Writing Quality: The author has a good vocabulary and the style of narration holds one’s attention. Some issue about the use of his and her, otherwise I did not see any glaring mistakes. The description is well done and dialogues are less at present and they may increase later on. I find the chapters are too long for me to read as I prefer to read and grasping everything. But maybe long Chapters are the in thing on web novel. Story Development and Stability of Updates: The plot is based military/ police and political issues. The progression of the story is smooth with regular updates. There is mystery and action in each chapter indicating that there is something big when we read later chapters. Character design and World Background: Good development of the characters but it is too early to know a lot about all the characters in the novel. Story is progressing and the personality is slowly being revealed of the main character. The setting of the novel is a futuristic Japan. In a nutshell this is a novel that encompasses action politics, warlike tactics, criminals, bad guys and the good guys.

I won't do my usual pros and cons here, since there's only like a single problem. I'm not a BIG sci-fi reader, so I'll judge the story based on its fundamentals. Disclaimer: Please don't take offense with anything I'm about to say. If you want me to go more in depth, you can message it right here (or PM, if there is any here). What I am going to criticize here is also what I'm dealing with my own story. So here are my first impressions. There are a lot of good qualities in this story, notably the descriptions and characters. Though a bit vague for some of the characters, it may be your worthwhile to invest some time into them and get to know more about each one. The author is able to describe the scene as if you were in the lens of the individual, which grants a perspective that may be vital in the long run. I'm not that much a grammar nazi, but there are some issues with phrasing and such, but it's not that detrimental to be a huge turn off. Now here lies the problem: the info drop and expectations. It's interesting to see two or more characters interact with each other, but does the next following sentence really need a massive info-dump after it? It's okay once in a while, but if you have it mostly in every single piece of dialogue (from what I see), there are going to be problems. The dialogue is supposed to show emotion and characterization, which makes the story more interesting, and that's what the reader expects from such. So the reader's expectations of seeing character dialogue would be like "Oh, here comes another wall of text", because that's what I'm getting here. My advice is to leave out the details the reader NEED to know other than giving them unnecessary details. Also, it is best to reveal such details through character dialogue, actions, or thoughts since it's more of a natural way. Don't do this too much though, since there are some things you're going to have to explain to the reader. That's the one thing I have to criticize and since I'm not a grammar nazi, like I said before, there's no other MAJOR issues at the moment. I'll sink my teeth in more and perhaps, follow along the author's progress. These are my thoughts on your story. Have a good day.

-The settings of this novels is set on futuristic era of Japan where technology is at its finest, led by a corporation called Cytek. -Its a military based novel where vigilantes run rampant that threatens the lives of many people. It's very unique not only because of its dark undertone but also the scenes are quite realistic. -The world background is very-well made described. Solid foundation. -As for the characters, they have their own personalities, and the author excelled in creating them. -Usually, futuristic settings will challenged the creativity of an author because s/he needs to introduce advanced technological settings. Other novels failed on this category because sometimes they overstepped the boundaries between 'reality' and 'fantasy.' -There are 4 character as of chapter 3. I can't point out the MC yet, because not all Protagonist are introduced in the first chapter. -The author has a rich vocabulary as it can be seen on the novel. Some grammatical errors were found but it's not a major mistake for the author, its normal anyway. -The novel has this air of: The Purge, American Sniper, Air Strike etc.... Overall, this novel is well-suited for those novels whose blood cries for action and military tactics.

This novel shows great promise. While there's only three chapters our at this point, the quality and quantity of writing is among the better novels on webnovel. However, there are a few minor grammatical errors I've found, such as when 'her brother' is changed to 'his brother.' Obviously not a major mistake, but hopefully something that will be corrected in the future. Sometimes, there is also a stiffness to the writing that makes some parts feel unnatural it forced. It's likely that this will change and improve given time. Since we've only barely reached the introduction, it's too early to make any decisions about update speed or the story line and world development. I'm looking forward to reading about all the details we've yet to get.

Doing good so far from what I read. The story as I observed has good descriptions not only on the events and but also the actions of the characters. It is action filled and does not bore you, in fact I got hooked up. You are doing a great job!

I like your synopsis and i can tell that it's gonna be a great book. please keep writing.don't sleep but i think you should change the cover(though not really necessary). this current cover's aura is different from the one your story possesses.

First off, I would never have touched this novel if it wasn't for the review swap as I do not read this sort of genre. Military / army style of noves are a bit too heavy for me as I like to read light hearted novels. Secondly, English isn't my first language so I can't comment on any writing style or prose or grammar. All that I say is based on my own personal 'feeling' and likes/dislikes. I find that this is a very well written novel. I gave it a 5* even though I do not know if the updates are stable or not but it appears to be so far. The writing quality is good, the characters are all interesting and you can see how they develop/grow - plus their interaction with each other. They are human yet extremely capable. All in all, it was a good read. All the best Author!

Your novel has a great plot, I love the synopsis, and from what I can see your updates are stable and consistent. Great job and good luck! :)

Reveal spoiler

The novel shows great promise. I have just begun reading and on the 2nd chapter. The quality of the writing is good. Slight grammatical errors which can be ignored. At places the writer seems aloof as if watching the view from another angle. At the time of writing this review, I was on the first few posts. Hence, I cannot take a decision as I are still at the nascent stage. A good read. Hope I get time to read.

Grammar & Style: These were intertwined, so I just stuck them together. Some structural mistakes/awkward phrasing. For example: “Such unfortunate his words were…” (Chapter 1) It should be “How unfortunate his words were…” or just simply add on “Unfortunately, a man….” I can kind of see what that line was supposed to create in terms of setting up the irony of the following situation. But I don’t think it’s all that necessary as it doesn’t add much to writing voice. It would be more shocking to just jump into the next scene like, “ ‘It's not as if we were going to get in his way where we are.’ Suddenly, a man appeared out of nowhere in the path of the patrol..” Or even just fiddle around with the transition more and consider other possibilities like, “Directly after his words, a man suddenly appeared…” Or “ ‘It's not as if we were going to get in his way all of a sudden.’ Yet like a ghost out of nowhere, a man appeared out in the path of the patrol.” There multiple ways to make the transition more dramatic and fluid. Other contrast words like “however, despite, yet” could also be implemented. Your descriptions are great, but to be honest, they can be overdone in the sense that action needs to be quicker. In chapter 2, the whole chase scene felt slow and undramatic. It lacked in suspense by focusing on details that seemed unnecessary to the scene. It might’ve been due to the fact that it felt like a sequence of events rather than being in that scene, watching with bated breath. The lack of sounds or dialogue too made it seem oddly quiet. Usually, in these spaces, lack of dialogue could be countered with introspection. The scene is almost too detailed to make a visual—something that I had difficult too before my rewrite. Even after, it’s still not perfect, but at least with my descriptions, the visuals were necessary for creating the fantasy setting. Here, every detail of the city scene from the route 416 to ramps to various paths and lanes cause some discombobulation for the reader in trying to map out the exact course of Blue Jaguar. Lastly, this description: “Before him, the copious trees saturated the road with a beautiful green color fresh from the last buds of spring, its leaves whispering by the wind and shimmering by the moisture and the lamp poles. A central flowerbed full of grass and surrounded by guardrails separated the lanes of the artery that flowed in both directions.” It felt out of place in the scene. I could see it being used as a form of disquiet, like it’s too quiet and something is happening, listening and surveying the seemingly peaceful area before something happens. But instead it lacks a transition or reason for the lengthy detail. Why does knowing the flowers make any difference to the action in the story? What significance do they have? For example, when I show the various plants (in the rewrite) they’ll all used for some reason whether to evoke amazement, astonishment, fear, or physically used to hit or take (like the berries off). In short, each visual description should have some significance. If for settings, then a reason for why it’s important to include in order to set up the settings. Strangely, on one hand, I appreciate the slowing down, but on the other the quietness of the actions made it feel like watching a movie in slow mo that flicked to every detail of the setting, but the sound was muted. So you could keep most of the detailed stuff as long as it became more dynamic and evoke more of the senses. Story & Characters: Again, these two intertwined for me. The beginning shows the relationship and some of the characters’ personalities while also giving a tidbit into Yoshiro’s reason for being a policeman. This is good on a character-wise level, but moving on from here… The beginning as a whole is a bit hard to follow because it switches the “MC” point of view from initially Yoshiro to then Blue Jaguar to then Kazuto in a span of five chapters. At least Kazuto was connected

Promising start for this novel. I hope the author can keep at least this rate of updates. Some minor grammatical errors, but nothing to be scared of. UPDATE Looking good so far. The author is doing a great job with the characters and the worldbuilding.

Fastastic job! Loving the characters and the setting so far. The protagonists are compelling very easy to identify with. I hope after these last few slow-paced chapters something awesome will follow!

Very good balance between action and character development. The last chapters have been slower, but I enjoyed the characters and I trust that everything is building towards something awesome. The rhythm of updates is fine for now, so I'm looking forward to the next episode!

Fantastic novel! The characters are very well done, and both the atmosphere and the setting are extremely compelling! Waiting for more updates!

Great novel! The characters are very well developed and the action is gripping. The concept around the "darker" Power Rangers is also quite well carried out, and the narrative universe is compelling. I have the feeling that slow-paced chapters are to follow and that something bigger is coming. Keep up the good work!

I'm glad I can be the first person to comment. First of all, the cover of this book is designed very well, just like its content. Strong science fiction style, but mixed with human and social knowledge. Very good, hope the author can continue to update.