PoppyQueen
How, What, Why, When... This is what was revolving in my mind while reading the story. In the beginning the Author describes the story as a mess, which I thought would get cleared up when I'd near the end, but sadly NOOO...The story's got too many elements and way too many scenarios; characters are hard to understand, as they all seem to have a multiple personality disorder- mostly they do stuff, without any rhyme or reason...it's basically a jumbled mess which has left me with so many unanswered questions.đđđđđ
This book was so good, I literally finished it in like three hours. I'm a big fan of BL and am always in search for good BL novels. If you're like me, you have to read this book. Aside from a few ****** mistakes, the plot was very interesting and the characters more so. All in all, I would have given it a 5,if not for the small mistakes. I recommend Author to get an editor if possible.
The writing has frequent punctuation and spacing errors but nothing a little proofreading canât fix easily. It feels like Mark and Akioâs relationship was rushed somewhat in the beginning and then put on a standstill during Wang Xiuâs case. Perhaps if it was built up more slowly throughout the solving of her case, it would be more believable. Iâm not quite getting the horror and thriller feel of the genre yet, but I can see it progressively getting there. What ruined the suspense for me, however, were the questions at the end of each chapter. It totally broke the story immersion for me because those questions are naturally asked by the readers themselves at the end. Itâs redundant to ask such obvious questions. Besides this, I enjoyed the story! I like how Mark is half-Indian because most MCs on here are Chinese. Good job, keep it up!
Reviewing the latest 3 chapters- would suggest to improve grammer i.e she said, scratching her arm. Readability is fine in general. The sentence below though- what is the main subject? âFather,do you remember Akihito Makoto,the drug dealer?âHe questioned. Sentence variety is there and passive voice is kept low. All the best ^^
I originally wanted to read it until 20 chapters, but then I realized I finished it until the end hahaha. I'm half into BL genre, but I didn't hate it so I'll give you a great job for the story. The writing quality would be more awesome if you add some more detail on it. Like how his reaction or how he felt. There were misspelling words or grammars too that need to be fixed and some cleanup. Well, who am I to judge? I'm not an English speaker and when I wrote my novel, I have a lot of mistakes as well XD. Anyway, good job for the story! I'll try to read your new story again in the future ;)
5 stars***** and another hundred stars****************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************nice work author