Reviews of dropped, continued by the name Journey towards greatness.
dropped, continued by the name Journey towards greatness.
Evil_God_Zarakh
- Overall Rate
- Writing Quality
- Updating Stability
- Story Development
- Character Design
- world background
TL;DR Expectations: Old hardened war vet with a soft side for kids. Who enjoys his new life as a Pokemon trainer and moves forward past having to leave his wife and family behind. Reality: Teen with delusions of being a war vet was hit by a truck and God played along with his delusions and let him go to the Pokemon world where he finally gets to use the 9 in dick he never had on Earth on the equally delusional females. Grammar needs work some misspellings. The story rather than showing us what's happening tells you. The dialogue could use some work... Some of the conversations don't seem at all realistic. Updates are fine I suppose the Author hasn't gotten to an amount where I can fairly judge it. I can't say the story has really developed at all. It feels more about the ladies in the anime than the Pokemon. Which brings us to Character Design... this is supposed to be an 80 something year old man who gets sent to the Pokemon world. Yet he acts like the 16 year old he made his body into. I don't see any wisdom at all so far even though apparently he has a good amount. You told us he has some fighting ability but the one instance I read of him using it you didn't do a good job of showing it off. Rather than an aged war veteran I'd say we have at most a high schooler with a need to flirt and have ***. World background is Pokemon it hasn't been described much in any sort of way so I'm guessing we just go off what the Anime looks like. So far I'm not impressed with the story or the MC. Fine he's 80 something and probably hasn't done it in a while, but right now it's just an old man who goes to a Pokemon world to have *** with the young beautiful females. If I had to give some advice I'd say fix the dialogue it's not great. The battles need something because right now they seem almost dull. Rather than keeping his memories it feels like he only kept the memories of Pokemon, "fighting" and ***. It doesn't even feel like he had a wife once. Even though this wife was apparently the one who turned him from a hardened rock into whatever he is today. We don't even find out if she was alive or not. I honestly feel like there was no point in making him an old man or a war veteran. Making him a typical **** or geek man who got hit by a truck would give us the same exact MC.
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I have read the first chapter. The author’s first sentence is an extreme run on sentence so I have to give him 1 star for writing quality. Commas are not replacements for periods. Please consider editing the story. The updates on the book are quite stable so I gave him 4 stars for update stability. The story development is pretty bad but I was lenient and gave the author 3 stars. The character is absolutely terrible. The author has clearly never seen or heard a war vet and it is inexcusable to call him a war vet but also make him a teenage harem master in terms of personality. The author has never heard of “show not tell”, he just tells us what the character is supposed to be and never backs it up with actions. I have to give world background 1 star as the author didn’t really expand on the Pokémon Universe.
most satisfying pokemon fan-fic or any fan-fic by that matter :D MC isn't your typical goody goody but as same time very reasonable and best about this novel is...................................................... ............................................................................... .......................... .... ONLY VERY FEW ANY CLIFFHANGERS!!
