two blondes walk into a bar joke

She became a surrogate mother in exchange for over a million yuan. As the esteemed CEO of the most powerful Empire in the capital, he holds absolute power, while she is just an adopted daughter to a family of lowly status. She agreed to bear him his offspring, simply because her adoptive father's business was failing. On the day of her delivery, the elder brother was born healthy, but the younger one was stillborn. Having fulfilled the contract, she disappeared from his sight along with the astronomical sum of money. Six years later, he is still that arrogant and high-profile CEO. When she accidentally gets embroiled with him again – like a canary trapped in his cage, he closes in on her. “Woman, do you think you can escape from my clutches?!" However, he does not expect a little kid to interfere; the boy pompously points his little finger at him and warns, “Mu Yazhe, you’d better leave her alone! She's mine – this baby's woman!” The man is alarmed, simply because the little kid's facial features are identical to his... Tags: Adorable Child, CEO, Sweet Romance, Scheming, Wealthy Aristocrats, Fluff, Two-faced, Child, Rich and Powerful, Treachery

Bai Xiaosheng, an ordinary worker, inherited a two-trillion-dollar world-class conglomerate! According to the will, he had to start from the bottom and embark on a journey of job promotion. He unlocked layer upon layer of system support functions, accessed massive funds, and dominated various industries within the group's subsidiaries, leading a triumphant life. "Let me tell you a secret," he said, "even though I'm an employee, in reality, I am your boss!"

Above the sky, a kilometer-long giant fish flew over the city, ignoring the bombardment of missiles. In Australia, a kilometer-long world-destroying python destroyed cities, devouring millions of people, and slowly left under the explosion of several nuclear bombs. Coming to this dangerous world, Jack Clark, who unexpectedly obtained a salamander clone, was a little confused. What could he do with a palm-sized hexagonal salamander? Make videos to earn money? Catch shrimps in a stream? Or... make it evolve into a giant beast? A hexagonal salamander, also known as a hexagonal dragon, with unlimited evolutionary abilities, gradually evolved into a mythical world-destroying beast. From a hundred meters long, it turned kilometers and tens of thousands of meters long... And under the synchronized strengthening, Jack Clark's original body also grew stronger, with increasing strength and speed, and even...

April 4th. The apocalypse descended, mountains and rivers shattered, and the human world turned into purgatory. April 5th. "Brother Wang Tao, before I die, I ask you for a favor, please take care of my wife..." April 7th. Wang Tao unexpectedly discovered that he could not only see the HP bars of living creatures but also that the creatures he killed would drop loot! "Rest in peace, Big Brother. I will definitely take good care of your wife!"

Atticus’ life shattered in a single day, betrayed by his girlfriend, and then shot dead by a mysterious man. But instead of the lonely void of darkness, he woke up in another world, reborn as the heir to one of the most powerful families in the human domain, in a world ravaged by war and teetering on the edge of defeat against a brutal alien race. Now, driven by intense rage and a thirst for vengeance, Atticus will stop at nothing to grow stronger, uncover who killed him, and fight for survival in a war torn world. Discord: https://discord.gg/8JthpjYZez

During the demon-summoning ceremony, Aiwass finally recalled his past life's memories. This should be an online game that his family's company had released and operated for six years. Now, his foster father was the leader of the latest version's antagonist organization. He would expose his identity six years later, hesitate and then defect from the protagonist's side. Ultimately, because he decided to take a fatal strike meant for the player character, he was killed by his upright older brother in a transitional CG without even a chance to enter the main content. ——But the problem was not too significant. Aiwass also knew many secret advancement routes exclusive to the player character, as well as the Nurturing Secret Sequel regulations of the various Paths. He believed he could reverse his unfortunate fate…… So now there was only one issue left. "According to the original plot, shouldn't I have been rescued by the protagonist before this lousy ceremony even began?" Tied to the ceremonial altar as a sacrifice, Aiwass fell into contemplation. —————— Keywords: Victorian Fantasy, Amber Flow

In the twenty-seventh year of Hong Guang, the allied forces of seven nations invaded the Great Blue Dynasty. Rifled muskets, mortars, and armored vehicles combined into a steel tide, were ultimately shattered by the Great Blue's armored cavalry. Muscle, magic, firearms, cannons... the new and the old powers continuously collided. In an era of great strife, Li Fei, with the help of a Ten Thousand Blood Bead, gradually became an existence akin to a BOSS: 'Is this the extent of your damage? You haven't even taken off one-thousandth of my health.' 'You don't think this is enough to kill me, do you?' 'Don't rush, the second phase is up next!' ......

Su Jie, capable of traveling between Blue Star and the Cultivation World, discovered that cultivation was just too difficult. Spirit Pills, Magic Artifacts, Pocket Worlds, and inherent comprehension—each was a mountain on the long road to immortality. Not until Su Jie found out that Demon Cultivators refined corpses by killing, extracted souls to cultivate fiends, and used fear as sustenance for their cultivation. Need souls to consecrate a Soul Summoning Banner? Get to know the pig farms that slaughter millions of pigs a year. Need human fear to cultivate fierce ghosts? Stock up on ghost houses, horror films, and horror games... Need fresh blood for Demon Techniques? Across the ocean, America is the world's largest grey market blood transfusion station... ...... Years later. "You devil, how many people have you killed? And you still have the face to call yourself a good person? Pah, today I shall act on behalf of heaven to mete out justice." The Tianyuan World's most beautiful person's eyebrows were furrowed with rage, as she stared at the terrifying Devil before her, enveloped in wronged souls, with thousands of ghosts parading on his Soul Banner, seated in a palace made of bones, she posed her soulful question. The Devil slowly stood up and pulled out a business card that read "Hua Country's Philanthropist of the Year / Founder of the World's Largest Chain of Ghost Houses / Owner of Blue Star's Largest Livestock Slaughter Business / Emerging Tycoon of the Entertainment Industry." "You see, I'm really not a devil, okay? Nowadays, who still uses such a lowly method as killing people to cultivate as a devil!"

Lin Yuan crossed into the Iron Fist Regiment of the Special Forces world and was appointed as the commander of the weakest reserve unit in the regiment. At this time, his system awakened, requiring him to raise the company's combat strength to number one in the regiment within three months! Relying on the Instructor System, Lin Yuan put the soldiers of the reserve unit through a devilish training program! Other units: Are these really the pig-raising soldiers of our regiment? Regimental Commander: Oh my God! Is this a reserve unit or a special combat unit? Wolf Teeth: Once they step out, I guess we Wolf Teeth Special Forces soldiers can just go home and raise pigs!

Welcome to Hell’s Game. [Entering instance: Bloody Restaurant] [The position you applied for: Delivery Person] [Your customers include: a fat otaku emitting a corpse stench, a maid who bursts at the slightest disagreement...] [Your colleagues include: A boss who's too pretty to be human, A cow or a horse in the literal sense, a man-eating tree that swears in French...] Facing these incredible characters, Liu Zheng, who wanted to be a decent person, had no choice but to give up on humanity.