what s the full two blondes walk into a bar joke

She became a surrogate mother in exchange for over a million yuan. As the esteemed CEO of the most powerful Empire in the capital, he holds absolute power, while she is just an adopted daughter to a family of lowly status. She agreed to bear him his offspring, simply because her adoptive father's business was failing. On the day of her delivery, the elder brother was born healthy, but the younger one was stillborn. Having fulfilled the contract, she disappeared from his sight along with the astronomical sum of money. Six years later, he is still that arrogant and high-profile CEO. When she accidentally gets embroiled with him again – like a canary trapped in his cage, he closes in on her. “Woman, do you think you can escape from my clutches?!" However, he does not expect a little kid to interfere; the boy pompously points his little finger at him and warns, “Mu Yazhe, you’d better leave her alone! She's mine – this baby's woman!” The man is alarmed, simply because the little kid's facial features are identical to his... Tags: Adorable Child, CEO, Sweet Romance, Scheming, Wealthy Aristocrats, Fluff, Two-faced, Child, Rich and Powerful, Treachery

Bai Xiaosheng, an ordinary worker, inherited a two-trillion-dollar world-class conglomerate! According to the will, he had to start from the bottom and embark on a journey of job promotion. He unlocked layer upon layer of system support functions, accessed massive funds, and dominated various industries within the group's subsidiaries, leading a triumphant life. "Let me tell you a secret," he said, "even though I'm an employee, in reality, I am your boss!"

(Han Yue's new story has been released, a different story but equally brilliant, "Contracted Honey Love: Pampered Wife's Insufficient Love". Everyone is welcome to read!) It is often said that getting involved with a CEO is like finding treasure, but for Qin Yin, it has only brought hardship.

After five years, Ning Xi returned to the place that had pushed her away — home. With a sister who turned her parents against her and made her childhood sweetheart betray her, the odds seemed grey. However, five years abroad had changed her, and she came home to fulfil her childhood dream of becoming an actress. Despite her evil sister still out to get her, tables will be turned. One day, after falling into one of her sister's schemes, she saves an adorable kid and found herself staying at his house to help him come out of his shell. Slowly, his father Lu Tingxiao began falling for her. This was before they realised how their lives had been intertwined all this while without their knowledge.

The sinful acts of humanity bring forth a great calamity upon themselves, or so they thought. Supernatural Emergence happened. Supernatural creatures start to come out of nowhere and forcefully claim half of the Earth and massacre any humans that cross their paths. All of them are too powerful, dozens of countries fall under their diabolic claws. Humanity was pushed against the corner. But things started to turn around when humanity began to awaken magical powers. Awakened is the name for those who awaken these powers blessed by the Gods, and they become the pillars of humanity. Rex Silverstar is a normal boy who has a traumatic experience. On the day of the Supernatural Emergence, a Werewolf takes everything he has. He lost his family and his home, left alone in this cruel world. What drives him to live every day is his deep hatred towards the Supernaturals. Joining the military in the hope of helping exterminate the Supernaturals from an early age, he found out that it's impossible to kill the Werewolf that was responsible for killing his parents without being an Awakened. On a fateful night, in a near-death experience, he's given a chance by the full moon. It was the turning point of his life. Obtaining a System that allows him to become stronger, having the potential to match and surpass the Supernaturals, Rex was ecstatic until he saw his stats window. "I'M NOT A WEREWOLF!!" "Daily quest failed, sanity stat has been decreased by 20%!" "Sanity stat is too low, you are unable to contain the blood moon blessing!" "Starting forceful transformation!" "WHAT?! I'm a human! What transformation?!" "You are overwhelmed with bloodlust!" ----- Join my discord: https://discord.gg/cg6a5sBkpJ Support me here: https://ko-fi.com/mrboogey13 ----- I do not own the cover of the book, if you made it and want to take it down just say so and I will immediately change it.

Above the sky, a kilometer-long giant fish flew over the city, ignoring the bombardment of missiles. In Australia, a kilometer-long world-destroying python destroyed cities, devouring millions of people, and slowly left under the explosion of several nuclear bombs. Coming to this dangerous world, Jack Clark, who unexpectedly obtained a salamander clone, was a little confused. What could he do with a palm-sized hexagonal salamander? Make videos to earn money? Catch shrimps in a stream? Or... make it evolve into a giant beast? A hexagonal salamander, also known as a hexagonal dragon, with unlimited evolutionary abilities, gradually evolved into a mythical world-destroying beast. From a hundred meters long, it turned kilometers and tens of thousands of meters long... And under the synchronized strengthening, Jack Clark's original body also grew stronger, with increasing strength and speed, and even...

April 4th. The apocalypse descended, mountains and rivers shattered, and the human world turned into purgatory. April 5th. "Brother Wang Tao, before I die, I ask you for a favor, please take care of my wife..." April 7th. Wang Tao unexpectedly discovered that he could not only see the HP bars of living creatures but also that the creatures he killed would drop loot! "Rest in peace, Big Brother. I will definitely take good care of your wife!"

Atticus’ life shattered in a single day, betrayed by his girlfriend, and then shot dead by a mysterious man. But instead of the lonely void of darkness, he woke up in another world, reborn as the heir to one of the most powerful families in the human domain, in a world ravaged by war and teetering on the edge of defeat against a brutal alien race. Now, driven by intense rage and a thirst for vengeance, Atticus will stop at nothing to grow stronger, uncover who killed him, and fight for survival in a war torn world. Discord: https://discord.gg/8JthpjYZez

During the demon-summoning ceremony, Aiwass finally recalled his past life's memories. This should be an online game that his family's company had released and operated for six years. Now, his foster father was the leader of the latest version's antagonist organization. He would expose his identity six years later, hesitate and then defect from the protagonist's side. Ultimately, because he decided to take a fatal strike meant for the player character, he was killed by his upright older brother in a transitional CG without even a chance to enter the main content. ——But the problem was not too significant. Aiwass also knew many secret advancement routes exclusive to the player character, as well as the Nurturing Secret Sequel regulations of the various Paths. He believed he could reverse his unfortunate fate…… So now there was only one issue left. "According to the original plot, shouldn't I have been rescued by the protagonist before this lousy ceremony even began?" Tied to the ceremonial altar as a sacrifice, Aiwass fell into contemplation. —————— Keywords: Victorian Fantasy, Amber Flow

In the twenty-seventh year of Hong Guang, the allied forces of seven nations invaded the Great Blue Dynasty. Rifled muskets, mortars, and armored vehicles combined into a steel tide, were ultimately shattered by the Great Blue's armored cavalry. Muscle, magic, firearms, cannons... the new and the old powers continuously collided. In an era of great strife, Li Fei, with the help of a Ten Thousand Blood Bead, gradually became an existence akin to a BOSS: 'Is this the extent of your damage? You haven't even taken off one-thousandth of my health.' 'You don't think this is enough to kill me, do you?' 'Don't rush, the second phase is up next!' ......