Well, there was this redneck family at Christmas. They were all set to make a big dinner. The dad was in charge of the turkey. He put it in the oven but got distracted by the football game on TV. Next thing you know, he forgot all about the turkey. When they finally remembered, the turkey was so overcooked it was like a rock. But instead of being sad, they all just laughed and ended up having a big barbecue outside with some other food. They still had a great Christmas, full of laughter and family fun.
There was a redneck family that wanted to do something special for Christmas. They heard about this newfangled thing called 'ice skating'. So they decided to make their own rink. They cleared out a big patch of their dirt yard and filled it with water from the hose. But they didn't think about how cold it really needed to be. On Christmas day, the water was still slushy. The kids were so excited they didn't care. They put on their cowboy boots and started 'skating'. They slipped and slid all over the place, falling into the muddy parts and getting all dirty. It was a mess, but they had the best time and told the story for years to come.
A redneck family might try to make a homemade sleigh for Santa. They use old car parts and some rickety wood. But when they test it out, it goes careening down the hill and crashes into a snowman. Everyone is okay but covered in snow and laughing their heads off.
One funny redneck Christmas story is about a family who decided to use their old pickup truck as a Christmas tree stand. They drove the truck into the living room, put a huge tree in the truck bed, and decorated it right there. It was a wild and unique sight with tinsel hanging from the truck's side mirrors and lights all over the tree and the truck.
There are often DIY projects gone wrong. For instance, building a sleigh for Santa out of old car parts and plywood. But when they try to test it out, it falls apart. Also, the food can be a great element. Maybe they try to make a gingerbread house but use cornbread instead because that's what they have on hand. And animals can play a part too. A redneck might try to train their hunting dog to pull a small sled with presents on it, but the dog just runs off with the presents instead.
Once upon a Christmas in a small redneck town, there was a family that had a very unique way of celebrating. Instead of a fancy tree, they went out into the woods and cut down the biggest, scraggliest pine they could find. They decorated it with old beer cans and fishing lures. The kids were excited not for the presents but for the annual tractor - pull competition on Christmas day. Santa in this story was a big, bearded man who drove a pickup truck full of toys made from scrap metal. It was a Christmas like no other.
One common element is a rustic or home - made feel. For example, decorations made from things around the house or farm like old tools or animal bones. Another is a focus on family and community gathering, usually in a laid - back and unpretentious way. And often there's a connection to the outdoors, like hunting or fishing being part of the Christmas activities.
One possible theme could be family. Redneck families are often tight - knit, and at Christmas, they come together to celebrate, share stories, and pass on traditions.
A 'Redneck Christmas Story' could be about a family in the rural areas. There could be a dilapidated old truck loaded with presents and a bunch of rowdy kids excited for Santa. It may also include the story of how they make do with what they have, like using old tires as sleds or making their own Christmas lights from simple materials. It's a celebration with a down - home, country - style feel.
Sorry, I've never heard of the 'kimmer redneck christmas story' specifically. But thinking about redneck Christmas in general, it could involve a family who can't afford expensive gifts so they exchange hand - made presents. They might have a big bonfire on Christmas night and tell stories about the old days. The family could also sing some traditional Christmas carols with their own unique redneck twang, like adding some country - style guitar riffs to 'Silent Night'.