funny dirty pun stories

This novel is an "always-ongoing" novel containing a compilation of fictional funny stories. New fictional funny stories will be added to new chapters in this book over time.

"You can't desire me, Ethan. I'm not good for you." "Are you denying the fire between us?" His voice was low, rough with restraint. "I want you, and you want me. Our wolves want each other. I may have hated your kind, but that won't stop me from claiming you right here and now. Strip." Being half human was something Lyra could never fully accept. To make matters worse, her fated mate is none other than Ethan—the ruthless werewolf feared as a beast. Some say her blood is the only thing that can keep him in check. Others whisper that her existence could change the destiny of all hybrids like her. Under the silver glow of the moon, desire and danger collide. When Ethan's fangs sink into her skin, their bond ignites a war neither of them could have imagined. In a world divided by blood and power, love might be the most dangerous instinct of all.

Hiatus, indefinitely

Roxanne "Roxie" Jones spent her whole life learning how to survive humiliation with her head held high. So when her co-captain tries to make her the joke of the bus ride home, Roxie refuses to back down. Then her eyes land on Zachary Prescott. Star quarterback. Small-town golden boy. The kind of boy people worship without question. “There’s a perfectly good seat right here,” she says before sitting on his lap in front of everyone. The entire bus goes silent. That single moment changes everything. Because Zac should’ve pushed her off. Instead, his hands tighten around her waist. What starts as flirting turns into obsession. Late-night calls. Bloody knuckles after games. Jealousy sharp enough to cut skin. They become the couple everyone envies while destroying each other behind closed doors. Roxie thinks Zac is hiding something from her. She’s right. And when the truth finally comes out, it won’t just ruin their relationship. It will ruin all of them. In a town obsessed with football, reputation is everything. Everyone is watching. Everyone has an opinion. And everyone wants a piece of the golden couple that seems to have it all. But first love is dangerous when it's built on secrets. And some secrets are big enough to destroy everything. Some first loves are sweet. Theirs was the kind that leaves scars forever.

Secrets! Secrets! And many more secrets! This was something that everyone on the planet, rich or poor, had in common. This also applied to my family. As I grew older, I became more interested in delving deeper into trying to learn for myself what my parents were hiding from me. I had not imagined, however, that the farther I delved into the issue, the more questions I began to ask myself. I began to consider how heinous and horrifying all of these family secrets would appear to the public if they were ever revealed. And why was I tempted and curious in the first place? But what else could a normal son have done in such a situation? Should I have minded my own business? That was completely impossible. But, considering how things had evolved by the time everything became clear to me, I began to wonder. Why was this the case? My curiosity side got the best of me and placed me in a position I still regret to this day. Would I choose the same road if I had to start from scratch? I am still puzzled about the answer.

Sumire Massoullevè, is one of the highest-paid actresses and entitled the top 1 most beautiful woman in the world. The sole daughter of one of the richest business tycoons couple in the country, Sumire has been known for being stubborn and persistent since she was a little girl, she was glamorous yet dark. Born spoiled, Sumire gets everything that she wanted. Being an actress is one of her dreams but dejected by her parents, she still pursues it. Despite having everything she wants, Sumire felt completely unsatisfied. There are two things she greatly desired: One, to meet her favorite mysterious artist in the world of Arts who hides under the pseudonym of DEATH, known for painting high class abstract and tenebrism crime scene arts, an art she admires the most and had a hot night-stand with him. The second was to make the infamous Asexual Ruffian Boss, Mort Dmitriv Aslanov, fall for her. In her unswerving pursuit of the man, Sumire was lost and discovered the gritty world of mafias, crimes, and murders, the swarm of mobs and gangs. Is falling to the Heartless Mafia Boss worth regardless of the difference of their world that may lead her to her demise? Will love and lust collide?

HIGHLY RATED(18+) Author's warnings: THIS BOOK MAY CONTAIN HIGHLY SEXUAL CONTENT, ABUSE, ILLEGAL ACTIONS AND DEATH. IF YOU CANT WITHSTAND ANY OF THIS MENTIONED ABOVE, KINDLY PASS BECAUSE IT'S NOT FOR THE WEAK. -------- "There are rules binding this contract, Isabella", Leonardo said to me while staring deeply into my eyes . A shivered ran through my whole body when I heard his cold deep voice. I stared back into his sexy green eyes before I spoke confidentially,"And what's that?". I asked. "Rule number one, you don't touch my body whenever I'm being intimate with you". Say's Leonardo. "Rule number two". I turned to look at Matteo who was laying back on his elbow on the bed with no shirt on and I could tell that he was looking totally hot in that position. I gulped in the lump in my throat when my eyes descended on his well detailed abs. "We can do whatever we want with you and you have no right to object". I felt seriously nervous with the way their eyes were scrutinizing my whole body and it took me enough confident to turn to look at Leonardo. "Is that all?". I asked and then, he brought out a pen and offered it to me. "Sign the contract and be ours". Leonardo said to me but that wasn't what just I wanted, I wanted to be more than a SLUT to them. Meet the Domenico brother's, who kills people for a living. A mafia and the world's greatest nightmare. What happens when a contract of submission is offered to the innocent Miss Isabella Laurenza? Would their relationship turns out to be lust or bloody??? Find out, rated 18+

"I don't believe in God, Hailey," he murmured, as his firm hands settled on my hips and lifted me from his lap, placing me onto his desk, "But... if I did, I would have thanked him for making you." A soft gasp escaped my lips as his hands slid under my college skirt, his fingers brushing on my pussy over my panties. "Damien, you are my brother..." I managed to whisper amid overwhelming desires. This felt so wrong. He emitted a husky chuckle, leaning closer to my ear, his lips brushing against my earlobe. "Correction- Stepbrother." "But-" Before I could utter a word, his hand swiftly slipped down inside my panties, his fingers landing on my bare, wet heat, and just when a moan could escape my lips, his mouth forcefully met mine swallowing the scream of pain as well pleasure when two of his fingers thrust into my pussy just like I'd felt them in my dreams... *** When I was dragged across the country to Los Angeles to live with my mom's new husband and his son, the last thing I expected was for my stepbrother to be off-limits. Least of all, I never imagined I'd find myself tempted by the forbidden. Damien Black: sinfully attractive, irrefutably irresistible, and seemingly devoid of warmth. Emotions meant nothing to him; girls were mere toys for him to have in bed. And there came my biggest mistake- believing I could be more than just a toy for him... maybe more than just another conquest in his collection. I was his dirty little secret, one that he wouldn't let go of, accept, shatter entirely, or mend. I was his toy; Well... his favorite one. Warning: 18+, strong mature, and sexual content.

Lu Rong has two secrets. First: her mortal enemy, the terrifyingly beautiful Sword Saint Zhou Li, is ruining her life. Second: every inappropriate thought she has about him makes her cultivation rise. At first, it was accidental. One distracting thought while watching him practice swordsmanship. A moment spent staring at his hands for entirely too long. A very dangerous urge to kiss him quiet. That was where everything went horribly wrong. Unfortunately, Zhou Li can hear every single thought in her head. Now the cold, untouchable Sword Saint keeps looking at her strangely. Personally asking for her company during cultivation. Appearing outside her room in the middle of the night. And worst of all— his true form is a black serpent. A very possessive one. The more Lu Rong tries to avoid him, the more obsessed he becomes. And when she discovers that the faceless woman haunting his dreams has always been her... It's already too late to run.

Melissa thought her life was already complicated—until fate dragged her straight into the world she was never meant to survive. After years of running from a past she barely understands, Melissa unexpectedly finds herself working for Antonio Castello, one of the most powerful and feared mafia lords. What begins as a dangerous job quickly unravels into something far more personal when long-buried truths surface: Melissa is not a stranger to Antonio’s world. She is the woman he was once meant to marry—the woman he believed had died. He ends up marrying her adopted sister. Their lives become entangled in ways neither of them can control. But Melissa isn’t the only one fighting battles beneath the surface. Sunny is caught in an emotional storm she can’t escape. Alejandra, intense and unpredictable, keeps reappearing in her life like a ghost that refuses to stay buried—awakening feelings Sunny doesn’t trust. Meanwhile, Olivia stands on the sidelines, steady and patient, offering a kind of love that is safe but uncertain. Torn between chaos and comfort, Sunny must decide what her heart truly wants before it destroys her. Ariana, on the other hand, steps willingly into danger for love. She marries Roberto Gonzalez—her former boss and a powerful mafia figure—believing she understands the risks. His family welcomes her with open arms, and for a moment, everything feels right. But months into their marriage, Ariana discovers a secret that shakes her foundation: Roberto has a child he never told her about. Now she must question everything—his honesty, their love, and her place in a life built on secrets. At the center of it all is Melissa, holding the threads together while hiding secrets of her own—secrets powerful enough to destroy not only the fragile lives they’ve built, but the dangerous empire they are now a part of.