mom got it in the ass stories

“Master, Xingchen Zi said his master refined a treasure—a huge boat that flies in Heaven—and only his master knows how to do it. Is that true?” “It's true.” Cao Zhen glanced at the super-large flying peak beneath his feet and nodded. “Master, have you heard? The Jiao dragon on Azure Dragon Peak seems to have the potential to become a Golden Dragon!” "Just scoop up an Azure Dragon from our family's Fengshui pond and play with it. Don't interrupt me while I'm cooking." “Master, I've heard that...” “No matter what you've heard, go to my room and look around, everything... ah, wait a moment, let your senior sister come out first.”

Jiang Chengxuan accidentally transmigrated to the immortal cultivation world and accidentally obtained the immortal cultivation heritage. However, his qualifications were really low, and after a hundred years of hard work, he was still unable to advance to the Foundation Establishment Realm. Just when he was discouraged, he came to a mortal city in silence, ready to end his life. That was when he got the long-awaited cheats. Detected that the host has achieved 100 years of immortal cultivation, hereby granting a life extension fruit, which can increase the life expectancy by one year. The next achievement task was now issued. Please complete the quest a hundred times. Complete it to achieve the honor of completing the quest a hundred times and you can get a chance to complete the quest smoothly. Ding! Please complete 100 times of technique practice, and achieve it to obtain a sense of perfection in technique inheritance jade talisman. Please complete 100 times of energy training to enhance the foundation bone. Please complete 100 times of talisman-making achievements... Please complete 100 times of enlightenment achievement... Please complete 100 times of alchemy achievement... Please complete 100 times of poisoning achievement... Please... Unknowingly, when Jiang Chengxuan heard the system's prompt again, he was told that there were no more achievements worthy of him to complete, because his existence itself was already an achievement that could never be surpassed.

Savannah was an adorable college student. To revenge her ex-boyfriend, Savannah was boldly intended to kiss a "handsome enough" man and take a video to piss her ex off. However, she chose Callan, the most eligible bachelor in the world. Out of Savannah's prediction, she was teased that she had no idea what a real kiss was. Then the man even taught her in person. In a great panic, Savannah ran away. Savannah left a deep impression on Callan. However, he never thought he would meet Savannah so soon, especially, at the... male toilet!

After being disfigured by a fire, Annabelle Sanchez was kicked out by her parents. Twelve years later, she was brought back, not out of guilt but out of the need of a victim of an arranged marriage. What was worse, her fiancé, disdaining her looks, dumped her in public. In desperation, she married Kendrick Gregory, her ex-fiancé's brother. After marriage, Kendrick was surprised to find that Annabelle was incredibly gorgeous. She, on the other hand, realized Kendrick was actually a cunning fox.

Lin Yuan crossed into the Iron Fist Regiment of the Special Forces world and was appointed as the commander of the weakest reserve unit in the regiment. At this time, his system awakened, requiring him to raise the company's combat strength to number one in the regiment within three months! Relying on the Instructor System, Lin Yuan put the soldiers of the reserve unit through a devilish training program! Other units: Are these really the pig-raising soldiers of our regiment? Regimental Commander: Oh my God! Is this a reserve unit or a special combat unit? Wolf Teeth: Once they step out, I guess we Wolf Teeth Special Forces soldiers can just go home and raise pigs!

Su Mo, a young man of the modern times, transmigrated to the world of martial arts. The sole survivor of the declining Su family, he inherited the Ziyang Escort Agency, a courier service that was on the brink of collapse. Su Mo was determined to restore the family business to its former glory, but he was young and inexperienced. And the martial arts world was fraught with dangers and intrigues! Unexpectedly, a system popped up that rewarded him each time he completed a courier mission. With this reward system, Su Mo entered an unprecedented realm. He mastered the Longxiang Wisdom Divine Skill which transformed his internal Qi and gave him boundless energy and stamina to accomplish his missions. Still, troubles came knocking on his door as he embarked on his missions, from escorting a benign scholar to delivering a mysterious brocade box for a dying man. Could Su Mo avoid getting tangled in other people's affairs? And would he survive the storms and gain a foothold in the treacherous martial arts world?

In the post-apocalyptic era, amidst the wasteland and chaos, the great path reaches the heavens. Mad Outer Gods, uncontrollable cursed cultivation methods, extraordinary martial artists facing ominous old age... Above the starry sky, deities circle, and below, ghosts roam at night! In this doomsday scenario, Xu Shu carries the "Primordial Scroll" and transmigrates. Through a simulation game, he achieves one exclusive accomplishment after another, seeking a sliver of hope for survival. The ten-day apocalypse, the Dragon King returns, resurrects his lover, and saves the world; With a passionate and generous heart, he fights and conquers while carrying the burden of a grieving father whose child was stillborn... As more and more accomplishments are achieved, he gradually lets himself go within the simulation game. Until... A true disciple of the Female Void Palace is pregnant overnight, announcing an emergency lockdown; The long-extinct master of the White Jade Capital rises from the grave, destroys enemies with a wave and proves his Dao as a Great Emperor; A shepherd boy arrives at the gates of the Holy Temple, claiming to be Ye Su; Moreover, a young man riding a cow attains enlightenment, leaving Hangu Pass and preaching with a scroll: - The human race must strengthen itself. You may admire me, but there's no need to worship me; - Together, we punish those who claim to be gods! ... Dreams reflect reality, and more and more people begin to spread his name and words across the land. Only then does Xu Shu realize that the life he simulated has far-reaching effects, like a butterfly flapping its wings! And those rampant Outer Gods finally recall the fear that once dominated them... He dies thousands of times on the path to ascension, and another night passes in the Primordial Scroll. Suddenly looking back, he has shattered both heaven and earth. "I, Xu Shu, am a crude person. My apologies, fairy!" ---

There was a classic saying that prevailed in the era of thermal weapons. "All fear comes from insufficient firepower." Don't believe? Looking at the muzzle of a cannon bigger than your head, and say it again? ... Starting off by being kidnapped, in order to survive, Gao Guang was forced to become a member of a private military contractor. And thus, an unexpected legend began to unfold... Stallone from [First Blood]? Jason Statham from [The Expendables]? Keanu Reeves from [John Wick], the one who's best at using all kinds of firearms? Come on, all of these are nothing compared to Gao Guang!！ --- Finally, until one day, in the field of private military forces, he completely made the term "Gao Guang moment" became a professional term! Countless criminals, mercenaries, murderers, and private armed organizations would pee their pants at the mention of the name Gao Guang! "Hello, my name is Gao Guang." "I am dedicated to providing war-related peripheral services, including but not limited to force, arms, intelligence, and technical support." "As the conscience of the industry, our quality is trustworthy. Please don't hesitate, don't pinch your goddamn wallet, and make an appointment with my beautiful secretary as soon as possible. Warm reminder, we only accept cash." "Gao Guang, Your best choice!"

Amidst a world plunged into chaos, where rituals have collapsed and music has spoiled, and the universe is muddled, Gu Qingfeng finds himself transported to this tumultuous era. Initially, he only desired to live out his remaining years in peace. However, the birth of his first son made him realize that things were not as simple as he had imagined...

【Exhilarating】【New Ultimate Path Plus Points】【Dry Humor】 The world plummets; who shall uphold the heavens? Demons spawn from earth and sky, the Taoist stands valiant and resolute. I am Yi Chen, 'Chen' as in dust, styled Yi Chengzi, eighteen years old, fearful of violent evil spirits, fond of making money. With a cold heart and ruthless hands, he transmigrated to a bizarre world where goblins and malevolent spirits dwell, becoming the eldest senior brother of the Hidden Dragon Pavilion, and as his master lay dying, he entrusted Yi Chengzi with the duty to uphold the path of benevolence and righteousness, to take good care of his younger Taoist brothers; he promised he would. However, his understanding of the path of benevolence and righteousness differed slightly from that of his master. What is benevolence? Slicing evil men and ghosts in half is benevolence. What is righteousness? Smashing the heads of evil men and ghosts into their chests completes righteousness. After his master's death, unable to awaken 'spiritual essence' for cultivation, he set upon an unorthodox path of cultivation with the help of the Golden Finger. Facing the wolves eager for a fight after his master's demise, he struck with heavy fists, understanding the true essence of righteousness. Confronting the malevolent spirits that stood in his way, he naturally reformed them with the iron fists of love. He slew demons, exorcised evil, and tested his sword against various spiritual cultivators, enjoying the landscapes of the world. When he reached the summit and looked around, he was shocked to find that demons were but minor afflictions and that this land and sky were falling... A millennium-long scheme, an eternal enigma, slowly unveiled itself. Strange, it has arrived, and it does not die or perish. Witnessing this scene, Yi Chen laughed. Even the malevolent dogs passing by his Taoist abode had to endure a couple of slaps; how dare someone be so disrespectful to him? Yi Taoist stomped one foot and soared into the heavens! The onlookers exclaimed in shock, "Taoist, stop fighting, the great 'Dao' is nearly worn away!"