webnovel
Primas
PrimasLv41mth
2024-09-26 17:43

your story a lots of potential but if you use that story in a good way you are not even making your words in a right way whatever you are using is not doing it's job and you are skipping many things many time ok don't skip the timeline you should be able to add something in that line some sentences some word so we can know what he was doing at that are to make your story even bigger ad something like while he was doing some kind of incident happened that's why he gain some kind of power by giving a logical choices just like and interferes of a God but he is interfering in his own life you will not understand what I am trying to say so he can become what will become God the most powerful to me for that he need some kind of help and he can do the help for get the help on his own the plot is that he is helping his own just starting stages the wou ldhave been a good story but this kind of story is never return or if somebody does try that they just f*** up in the middle and leave the story because they can't think anything because I have read some similar story

Dragon Ball UltimateVERSE

Hellycomic
3.6
94 Chs

Liked by 3 people

LIKE
Replies2
Hellycomic
HellycomicAuthor

Yes , I am mainly skipping Goku starting part , considering Kairos as the MC , otherwise many will think who is really the MC. so skip those starting of Goku but getting to the main story . This story will also have Dragonball Heroes and then extra chapter based on imagination .

1mth
2
Ace_5380
Ace_5380Lv3

nah you could straight up go off the rails or take over the main role completely this just seems like he's living in stages and broadcasting events from the side never really taking part in anything but training I mean he's not Even protecting the earth and a much as you say they aren't to his level that still seems like a sorry excuse like would you believe me if I said I had no clean clothes so I couldn't go out I had to do laundry you don't ignore a fly because it not on your level you kill the bug to make it stop buzzing by your ear

Hellycomic:Yes , I am mainly skipping Goku starting part , considering Kairos as the MC , otherwise many will think who is really the MC. so skip those starting of Goku but getting to the main story . This story will also have Dragonball Heroes and then extra chapter based on imagination .
1mth
1
Other Reviews
Hellycomic
HellycomicAuthor

Hello Guys , I know many readers may dislike my work - but .... I am a new writer , and I am trying my best to improve my writing to express it nicely . Hope those who like it can go with me to the end . And as for the Powerful level , you have to see that OCs are trying to follow Kairos , so characters are rapidly becoming powerful in a similar way for the enemies ... Let's talk about the event of Frieza reviving in Dragonball Super - Frieza after realizing that Kakarot has become very powerful so to defeat him and the humiliation Frieza suffered in heaven - he practiced for 6 month and in just that time he became pl powerful enough to even defeat Super Saiyan Blue Vegeta ( Original Anime) * similar case is happening in this story because the MC is too powerful everyone is trying to catch up with him .. Think radically and logically [img=Feeling it]. Hope everyone keeps reading . I will keep improving my writing skills .

25d

Hellycomic
HellycomicAuthor

Hello Viewers, I have decided to Update all the chapters of the day together . So that , fans have fun reading the complete one scenario.

2mth
Maycon_Henrique_10
Maycon_Henrique_10Lv1

É raro encontrar boas histórias do dragon ball z onde o personagem principal trabalha duro para ficar forte em vez de ser super forte desde o início por causa disso acho que sua história realmente muito boa além disso você equilibra muito bem o texto e a escrita estou muito achei que ficou muito bem feito😁😁😁👍👍👍👍

2mth
Hellycomic
HellycomicAuthor

Guys write some reviews , about the work and Please support , and sorry that I had to delete my earlier work , because of a notice from editor-in-chief, I had 22 power stone in that , I feel very sad and also happy that my fans loved that work . Hope you guys love this too and don't forget to read my another novel "Ultinum Crest " . I will put a lot of work in that .

2mth
Luiz_Henrique_5787
Luiz_Henrique_5787Lv1

Muito bom 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍

2mth
Lizrock
LizrockLv4

[img=disgusted][img=disgusted][img=disgusted][img=disgusted][img=disgusted][img=disgusted][img=disgusted][img=disgusted][img=disgusted][img=disgusted][img=disgusted][img=disgusted][img=disgusted][img=disgusted][img=disgusted][img=disgusted]

2mth
RizzDaoist
RizzDaoistLv13

it's fine author you got this, I know you are new but you are improving at a visible rate keep it up

23d
tianshangshandian
tianshangshandianLv14

early part is good, the pace if fast but not hard to accept for me, but the power level and the fighting is an absolute mess... here's hoping the author can revised them when the author re-check them

1mth
Vitor_Lindo
Vitor_LindoLv12

Humano cara e logo com uma família a cara vai de fuder 🤨🤨😑😑😑😑🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨😑🤨😑🤨😑🤨😑🤨😑🤨😑😉😑🤨😑🤨😑🤔😑🤔😑🤔😑🤔😑😑🤔😑🤔😑🤔😑🤔😑🤔😑🤔😑🤔😑😑🤔😑🤔😑🤔😑😑😑😑🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔😔🤔🤔🤔😮‍💨🤔😮‍💨😮‍💨🤔😮‍💨🤔😮‍💨🤔😮‍💨🤔😮‍💨😮‍💨🤔😮‍💨🤔😮‍💨🤔😮‍💨🤔😮‍💨😮‍💨🤔😮‍💨🤔😮‍💨🤔😮‍💨🤔😮‍💨🤔😮‍💨😮‍💨🤔😮‍💨🤔😮‍💨🤔

8d
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