webnovel
RafaelMitz
RafaelMitzLv32yr
2022-06-08 14:44

Author, I'm going to be totally honest in this review (Until Chapter 30). About the story: It's interesting. The classic back in time with valuable information, added to the VR theme. How did the protagonist go back in time? I have no idea. There wasn't any hint that he had a title, item, or anything like that that made it possible. I don't know if there will be an explanation in the future. There is little (almost no information) about the events of the world and how everything got to the point where humanity is. All I know is what's in the synopsis. There was no detailed explanation while reading. For me this hinders the immersion in the work. The VR world is very interesting, seemingly gigantic, with the potential to be really captivating when more elements are inserted into the story. Apparently Jake won't be a nice protagonist who will forgive people who want to make his life difficult. I believe he will be ruthless with enemies and I believe he will take good care of those he cares about. Now I'm going to talk about the problems... I'm going to start by talking about the problem that has irritated me the most so far. 1st Character details: The author has a big problem in this area. When I read I feel that all people are walking mannequins. I don't know what the protagonist family looks like! This is serious. When an attendant appears "A pretty attendant". When Jake meets the Queen, the most beautiful woman in the kingdom, "Jake turned to see a perfect woman". When he meets Myriad Arrow, a important character "Tall over six feet, but with a slender and athletic build"... Bro, the eyes, the skin, the face... I want details. What color is the hair? Is it long or short hair? Straight or curly hair? Details! At least for the important characters in the story. Wait... What does the protagonist look like?! 2nd short chapters: That's my opinion. I believe the chapters need to be between 25~50% longer. Reading ends very quickly. It will also be good to enrich the story with details, interactions and thoughts from the protagonist and secondary characters when necessary. 3rd Depth of the protagonist's relationship with important people: I found the mc's interaction with his family very shallow. I don't know what they're thinking, what they're feeling, what they like and don't like, what they think of Jake, what Jake thinks of them... I hope the mc's interactions with his family improve and that Jake can have a good relationship with future important characters. I hope you can consider this review and I hope it has helped you in some way to improve your story. Keep up the good work.

World Online

jdbeue
4.2
304 Chs

被38人贊過

贊
回復3
Mysterious_Case
Mysterious_CaseLv1

Thank you for saving me. I hate the story about not giving about characters look and only said pretty or beautiful plus not explaining the looks of main character and yes your right as I read at your comments it's indeed like a mannequin even though I didn't read it.

2yr
14
Mysterious_Case
Mysterious_CaseLv1

2yr
5
UncleDodger
UncleDodgerLv11

thanks man for your review

2yr
3
Other Reviews
RealDarkSeraph
RealDarkSeraphLv15

Yo, I’m going to say it, this is the next RSSG. The this book is really good. Everyone has to give power stones. I’m already hooked on this book💯 only thing I can see, is that it’s missing some elements to make the book more full. It dwells a bit empty? Idk the right words but I’ll write another review when I find them

2yr

TheRamenLord
TheRamenLordLv13

I absolutely love this book, its been 33 chapters and i feel like a review should be written about this great story. Even though its only just at its beginning, i feel like the author has done a really great job in making it work. Now i dont want to say this is the best or even one of the best. As everyone has different likes and dislikes and personally this novel has (atleast till now) everything that i like, so i am going to mention what i liked about this novel and if you find you might also like some of the stuff I mentioned give this novel a try you might enjoy it. 1. The MC wakes up in the past with memories of his future. Basically its a second chance novel ( I absolutely love this trope). 2. The MC has his priorities right and doesn't delay matters and handles them with caution and due diligence. 3. He is not a perfect person doesn't know alot of stuff and is trying his best to learn and make up for his weaknesses 4. The author tries alot of things related to game which i haven't seen before much atleast on webnovel originals. 5. It reminds of Rebirth of the Strongest Sword God, which is definitely in my 10 top webnovel list. So yeah i love this book. Note for author: Love your work 😁👍 Hope you are contracted soon for this novel and you put out more chapters faster cause its good.

2yr
jdbeue
jdbeue作者

Author here. This is my wsa addition, and a book that I spent a lot of time trying to perfect. Although I don't dare claim that it is, I think that this is a well written book. There will be guild building, op mc, absolutely no harem, and good progression, I promise. and ever since I finished my exams, I have also tried my best to maintain a 2 chapter a day release cycle. I think that you will love the book as long as u give it a chance.

2yr
Mzeeddz
MzeeddzLv4

Another novel with the same old plot, get every1 inside a VRMMO, make the protagonist be a nobody then send him back in time, still waiting for a novel where the protagonist will be someone great without having knowledge of the future... Anyway with no romance/cute interactions and no life outside the gaming world, this feels like a cultivation novel where the MC cultivates for 1000 years and we read 10k chapters of the same thing happening over and over again, plot isn't very interesting either so...

2yr
Slackr
SlackrLv15

This book has a lot of pros but the cons have started to outweigh then IMO. I have read until chapter 250 so I can say objectively that the story has a lot going for it story wise but when you pad your word count on literally every single chapter with a notice not to pirate, which will happen regardless, then I lose trust in your integrity as an author. (I understand not wanting your hard work to be given away for free but I shouldn't have to pay for your insecurity.) Second, filler chapters and filler content to pad the word count... With the amount of information that is nonrepetative in the 250 chapters I read you could have gotten the message across in half that number. That said, I do enjoy the concept and ideas you have but they need to be executed more efficiently. (Yes I understand that most webnovels are padded with repetition and filler but that doesn't make it right, does it?) With some slight tweaking and focusing more on story development rather than useless banter between characters then this story could be great.

2yr
1King_Rep1
1King_Rep1Lv15

Right at the start, you are captured by the I justices of this new world. The author knows just how to bring you in to the plot and make your ant to see the underdog rise. Fight and push forward with our loveable MC, you won’t regret watching him become a complete bad**s ! Definitely worth the read. Just remember to bug the author for more chapters or else you’ll binge it all.

2yr
I_am_rawking1
I_am_rawking1Lv2

suppot new story it good [img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=coins][img=update][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend]suppot new story it good [img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=coins][img=update][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend]

2yr
Snoflake
SnoflakeLv14

This is trying to be RSSG with a rushed storyline and significantly less explanation. Honestly you might as well just go read RSSG. The writing QUALITY, insofar as grammar and punctuation, is fairly well done. EVERYTHING else is NOT. I don't want to spoil anything for someone who might actually enjoy the novel, but I will say the author is a half-step away from the plagiarism realm, and doesn't seem to care. The separate, clean living area for the rich? "'Shadow' King"? "Bright 'Horizon'"? You're not even trying to be subtle about it, man. E for Effort I guess, at least for getting a few hundred chapters out and sticking with it. If you meant this to be a quick rewrite of Lucky Old Cat's original work, then ignore me. If you meant this to be original in any way, shape or form? No.

2yr
Binge_Reader_Hash
Binge_Reader_HashLv13

This is my first time writing a review for a book and I can say that this has a lot of potential.It has been a while since I read about a non-dumb mc and this gives me a different feeling compared to the other VRMMORPG novels and it gives a fresh feeling.Continue the good work author.

2yr
Related Stories

Realm of Myths and Legends

Jin, a hardcore gamer who still lives with his mom at the age of 24. He could never hold down a steady job since graduating, his girlfriend since high school dumped him for his best friend and he's constantly getting beat up by a group of local gang members. His dad left him and his mom when he became rich from the lottery and got a new family, one free of debt and burdens as he called it. His mom works 3 jobs to keep everything from falling apart, except for herself slowly. One day on his way home with the very first and new fully immersive VRMMORPG called Realm of Myths and Legends or RML for short, he died from a hit and run car accident. RML was advertised as the worlds first fully immersive VRMMORPG, allowing for players with skill sets in the real world, like sword training, martial arts, archery or reaction time, to benefit in the game itself! Though Jin died and at that moment a soul from another world crossed over into his body and inherited his memories. The man known as Izroth once hailed as the greatest cultivator in the seven realms, soul reincarnates into the modern world year 20xx in the body of Jin. "What are all these strange memories flowing into my mind..? I've been to all seven realms and have never seen one like this. Earth is it?" "M-My cultivation..! It's back to nothing! This body is so weak and spiritual essence here is scarce. But my soul strength is untainted." "I'll make right all the wrongs that have been done to you, your revenge shall come." "It's called a video game? I'll play it! Since you've given me this body even though it wasn't planned, I'll accomplish your goal of becoming #1." "So sects here are called guilds... I'll make the strongest one there is!" "Ha? World greatest gamer? Don't think you can bully me and not pay the price!" Action, Adventure, Betrayals, Romance, Revenge. Join Izroth on his journey to become the #1 player and create the #1 guild in RML! ----------------------------------------- Check out and support their work! Lots of great artwork! Discord: https://discord.gg/W6N9MZk Contact Me: DaoistZenFeng@gmail.com

DaoistZenFeng · 游戏
4.4
1121 Chs

Global Job Change: Starting With The Hidden Job, Lord Of The Death

# DECISIVE Mutations occurred around the whole world and soon, a demonic apocalypse befell. In order to defend against demonic beings, humans swiftly entered a globalized digital age. Everyone would be able to choose between a fighting or a supporting job through awakening once they reached the age of 18. These people would get stronger by slaying demonic beings. Lu Yan had awakened to the weakest job, a Necromancer. However, he had also received a Job Supporting System and was able to reawaken into a hidden job, Lord of the Death. “Necromancers are so weak that they die in one hit!” “Man, that dude’s luck is just the worst. He did get a fighting job, but it’s the weakest. What can he do? Summon a few skeletons?” “Also, aren’t there only like a handful of Necromancers out there? There aren’t a lot of experience or resources for them to inherit. Their future seems bleak.” “Forget Necromancers! I got the Holy Knight job! Your all-around king is here!” Not long after that, Lu Yan appeared in a full set of Death Nether Armor while wielding the Death Soul Scythe and leading a 100 thousand-strong death army. With a single swing of his scythe, he split the mythical rank demonic beast in half. “Necromancers are weak? What does that have to do with me, the Lord of the Death?”

Frozen Tenderness · 游戏
3.5
547 Chs

Supreme Archer: Taking The Game's Weakest Class To The Top

"You're worth a single arrow." The first immersive virtual MMORPG, The Legend Enigma Online, has conquered the game market! There's not even one person who hasn't heard or seen this game's beautiful and vast magical world overflowing with monsters. Everyone wanted to play this game and be a part of history! Conjuring magic, wielding enormous swords, and even flying across the skies are possible in this game! Guns, arrows? Those are boring compared to this! Jake, however, was compelled to think differently. When the archery became abandoned and forgotten, he took this class and swore to prove others wrong, all because he likes to go against the mainstream! With the bow in his hand, Jake finds passion, talent, and excitement in archery, but will that be enough against the challenges the world keeps for him? It's not only the players that find archery weaker than magic. After the dawn of mana, which happened over two hundred years ago, even NPCs prefer magic over bows. While the other classes have been developed so much by NPCs that players have many luxuries to pick from, the archery is now a mere shadow of its past. That's only the tip of the iceberg of the future Supreme Archer's difficulties! "No matter whatever it is and how long it takes, I'll take everything on and get my archery to the top! The archery where I'm the master and artisan of my bows and arrows, the tailor of my equipment, and pioneer of my own skills!" Hard work, talent, bitter defeats, and uproarious victories–none of it is foreign to Jake! https://discord.gg/ZQ4G84ZtRY - discord server for our community!

HomieLv1 · 游戏
4.8
303 Chs

VRMMORPG: Dragomancer Reborn

Arthur Grey was one of the many poor souls doomed to forever do menial dead end jobs. That was until, the rise of a new Virtual reality game Morpheus Online. It was a technological revolution that ushered in a new age for the world. One didn’t need to be educated! One didn’t need to go to college! All could simply strive to gain fortune in Morpheus Online and become rich! Arthur of course joined in on the opportunity presented and did his best to reap a fortune for himself. Unfortunately things didn’t go well for him and one day he perished in an earthquake. Miraculously though, fate had a different plan. Arthur found himself back in his 18 year old self! He had regressed! With all his memories intact, Arthur vowed to reach the top of Morpheus Online, taking advantage of all the secrets that were still hidden along with the biggest secret of them all: The Dragomancer’s Legacy! Taming dragons? Wielding their powers? All was within the grasp as long as one became a Dragomancer. But there was a lot more to the dark side of Morpheus Online that Arthur would discover, realizing there was more to his regression than just luck.

Grand_Void_Daoist · 游戏
4.5
310 Chs

Card Apprentice Daily Log

Dalton Wyatt, a world-renowned Scientist, and Inventor is transmigrated to the body of a high school student Dalton Wyatt who committed suicide due to unfortunate circumstances and complicated life.  The enchanting world of cards was completely different yet similar to Dr Wyatt's homeworld earth.  Unlike peace full earth where humans fought other humans, This new world was plagued with Dungeons and Monsters people here fought with monsters for the survival of humanity.  Mortal humans were not strong enough to fight these mythical and legendary creatures, thankfully some blessed humans could actively control their souls to manifest soul power and become Card apprentices to fight for the humanities chance at survival.  Card apprentices are people who contract grimoire and use various powerful yet resourceful cards to fight off the monsters and conquer dungeons.  Grimoire provides the card apprentice with abilities like Card creation and Card fusion, most importantly it allows the Card apprentice to display their full potential in a card fight.  Even though this world has the concept of science but it is not focused on electronics and industrialization like back on the earth, here the world has cards for every little thing's eliminating the need for electronics.  This new world is highly focused on grimoire abilities such as Card creation and Card fusion.  Coming to a world where money could buy him strength Dr. Wyatt had to earn money for his survival.  But thanks to his otherworldly information and knowledge, card creation comes easily to Dr. Wyatt compared to other card apprentices.  Dr. Wyatt creates and sells various perfect, powerful, and resourceful cards to earn money and get stronger step by step in this monster-ridden world for his survival.  ... "What did you say? Making good cards is hard? Bah! Card creation is a breeze." "My friend, allow me to enlighten you - there are no 'trash card ingredients,' only incompetent card creationists." [Bloody Veins - G rank, Mortal grade] [Nyon Rope  G rank, Mortal grade] [Common Core - G rank, Mortal grade] Card creation… complete!  [ Card Name - Bloody Rope    Card Type - Item card   Card Rank - E rank, Common grade    Card Rating - 3 stars    Card Durability - (100/100)    Card Effect - The Bloody Rope can bind and incapacitate its target. When in contact with a target's wound, the item effects paralysis and blood drain are triggered.   Additional Effect: Paralysis, Blood Drain] "This can't be real! You've used G-rank mortal grade ingredients, and yet you've managed to craft an E-rank common grade card with full durability and a rating of three stars? This isn't real, I must be dreaming! I couldn't possibly have woken up today - I am still asleep in my bed dreaming."

IGotStones · 游戏
4.2
2291 Chs

Muscular Rabbits Legion: "No one can escape from the novice village!"

This world became a playground for various other worlds. Every living creature was digitized and awaited the endless slaughter and torture of the players from other worlds. Yi Zheng, who had become a mob rabbit in the Beginner's Village, decided to lead a group of rabbits. They sprinted across the grasslands, did crunches, bench-presses, rowing, and swimming etc. A year later, when the players descended, they saw more than just a group of small monsters. They saw an army of terrifying, demonic, muscular rabbits! The Rabbit King sitting on the throne high above waved a carrot as he threatened, “From this day forth, don’t even think of leaving Beginner's Village!”

Elderly Guest On Changbai Mountain · 游戏
4.7
99 Chs
Login