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CharlesC
CharlesCLv13yr
2021-08-21 13:04

The story development seems too forced and quick. The grammar is a bit off, and the writing itself is really bland. Adding to the emotionless story, the MC seems very cliché, white hair and red eyes.

Liked by 3 people

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Replies4
Omega200
Omega200Author

Well thanks for a three-star review despite the harsh comment but what's wrong with white hair and red eyes, don't disrespect the legendary Jet black-wings look.

CharlesC
CharlesCLv1

Oh-hoh? Are you comparing the Almighty Jet-Black Wings to a mere Hyper-Psychokinetic human? JK, tbh, MHA is very diverse but you could've at least made an Aoyama imposter...

Omega200:Well thanks for a three-star review despite the harsh comment but what's wrong with white hair and red eyes, don't disrespect the legendary Jet black-wings look.
StuckInTheInternet
StuckInTheInternetLv4

Is the MC a hero or a villain?

Omega200:Well thanks for a three-star review despite the harsh comment but what's wrong with white hair and red eyes, don't disrespect the legendary Jet black-wings look.
Omega200
Omega200Author

An Unstable Anti-Hero, but he will become stable, otherwise there won't be any character development.

StuckInTheInternet:Is the MC a hero or a villain?
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A man from an Earth gets the choice to start over in any Universe and chooses an Alternate Pokemon Universe. Let us see if his journey to the top is succesful and the impact he will have on his new world. Pokemon is owned by Nintendo, Game Freak and Creatures Inc. I just use their sandbox for the plot of my MC and my OCs. This will be a "slow" paced story, in fact it's "super slow paced", so please don't expect the MC to directly start his journey in 20 chapters or so, actually multiply that by like 15. A lot is going to happen before that happens. The first 10-20 chapters or so are information heavy, depending on what kind of reader you are. I try to keep my chapter length between 2000 and 3000 words per chapter. My release rate is 4 chapter/week for now. I have a patre*n for those that want to support me with access to some advance chapters as a thank you. patre*n.com/Azrail93 This is an alternate pokemon universe so there will be differences to the games, manga and anime. So if something in the story is different it is most likely on purpose. The original sources are seen as suggestions not laws. Differences can be: Type variants, evolution conditions, strength mechanics, world building and more. If I am at some point asking for reader input I will do so but otherwise I will ignore most suggestions. So please don't spam things like catch this pokemon or do that next. I have my plot planned and external input will be considered when asked for. If I see a suggestion that I believe fit my plot flow I will use it and will credit the commentor. Comments on spelling and grammar mistakes are welcome. I will try to correct said mistakes with time. Constructive criticism will be read and considered. Insult and hate comments will be ignored or deleted depending on severity. Readers naturally can comment their dislike but one worders will be ignored. If the reason for the dislike is explained I will read it. Like previously mentioned pure insults and hate comments will be ignored or deleted. The same is true for simple hate reviews or insulting ones. Reviews complaining about something I warned about, such as the slow pace, will be deleted as well.

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