webnovel
Princeboi
PrinceboiLv14yr
2020-08-22 22:53

I would leave the comments on language for now, starting with the characters, they are designed and established very well. I believe it's particularly about your choice of words. I believe it helps the characters to give their own unique trait- one good example would be " the male characters' usual comments and hoe straightforward he is- it sets good narrative as to what expect from him as a reader. It's also has this calmness and stillness to it, the stillness is a very important trait slice of life should have. If I am straightforward it might be end up being of my favorite romaromanceies with a female lead.

Liked by 2 people

LIKE
empty img

No replies. Be the first!

Other Reviews
Illusionniste
IllusionnisteLv1

If you like adorable male lead who doesn’t act as possesive a-holes, you’ll enjoy this story I enjoyed and loved every minute that I read this and this isn’t a sugarcoat review too. This story has 𝐩𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐥 and I’m not even bullshitting you. The characters has have their own personalities that I absolutely lived for! Although, Ayan do be winking every chance he got. I love love love characters having personalities because it doesn’t make them sound monotonous and tedious. You can completely distinguish each other character’s persona by the way the writer conveys it. I felt that scene where the heroine screams about the door. I can totally relate to that and that’s what I like about that. Readers can relate to the characters and it makes them connect to it and fall in love with them. AYAN is an adorable bean that must be protected at all cost. (This is a lowkey review about how Ayan is adorable and a cutie, even if he’s a grown man.) But let’s be realistic, if a guy suddenly texts me and calls me baby and all, I would be on full mode cringe. NAIRA is a very animated person, I sensed a bubbly introverted persona in her. There were a few relatable moments with her and that was a plus for me. The writing is decent, there wasn’t that much cringe paragraphs which were totally fine with me. I wasn’t much focused with the grammar because I was thoroughly enjoying myself on the story. You didn’t stray away from your grammatical tense, you didn’t rush things off. The story works seamlessly because you didn’t try to put more stuff in one chapter. But I do suggest you work on your world building, the character development is great to me. Working on your world building is a must especially, if the reader hasn’t visited the place the story is set at. Overall, Ayan is cute and adorable. Fight me. 😤

Related Stories

Transmigrating as the Younger Sister of a Bigshot with Multiple Identities

Gu Yang, who had just inherited hundreds of millions, transmigrated into a novel. She became the fake young lady who occupied the nest and suffered in the end. In the beginning, she framed the real young lady, and forced the villain into becoming her blood bank. She offended both the good and the evil. In order to make it to the end, Gu Yang decided to set boundaries with the Gu family. She apologized to the female lead, gave blood back to the villain, and did her best to stay alive. However... "Gu Yang is our daughter no matter what! She will always have a share of the Gu Group!" Her parents exclaimed. "I only have one older sister, and that's Gu Yang! Gu Yang, you can have everything in the Gu family!" Gu Pei, her younger brother, exclaimed. "The Gu family is nothing. I can give you ten times what they can give you," Gu Jin, the female lead, said. "My blood, my body, and everything I own belongs to you," Feng Jue, the villain, said. *** "Everyone in the Gu family is stupid. They treat the fake young lady like a treasure," all the wealthy families in Jincheng said. One day, the Gu family became the richest family in Jincheng. They were the leader in the industry. Everyone was jealous. There were rumors that Gu Yang spent most of her time with a mentally ill person. "Is she mentally ill too?" Netizens asked sarcastically. "I'm her patient," bigshots from different backgrounds stepped forward and said. "That's our president," the Huaguo Psychiatric Association and Psychological Association claimed. Everyone on the internet went crazy. *** Gu Yang thought the main villain in the novel was good-looking and was in a pitiful situation. She decided to treat him better and compensate him more. One day, he pressed her against a wall. "Did you hypnotize me? All I can think about is you." Later, she found out that she'd been exploring the world while he'd been waiting for her.

Mr. Jiuxi · Urban
4.8
982 Chs

Unexpected Romance: Love $ Hustle

Twenty-eight year old Delilah Sterling, has perfected the art of being a respectable realtor by day, and a professional gold digger by night. Delilah believes she has her double life under control. Her meticulously crafted life crumbles when she wakes up one morning with a wedding band on her finger, a marriage certificate on the table, and a sinfully gorgeous man claiming to be her husband. To make matters worse, he is broke and jobless, making her feel trapped in a surreal nightmare. Desperate for escape, Delilah demands a divorce, but the stranger—insisting he wants to stay married—thwarts every attempt. Frustration and confusion mount until Delilah hatches a new plan: she proposes they team up to con her next target, the elusive billionaire, Hunter Quinn. What Delilah doesn't realize is that her "broke husband" is actually Hunter Quinn himself. Billionaire CEO, Hunter Quinn, having discovered Delilah’s intentions to con him, had decided to outplay her at her own game. Hunter agrees to the partnership, and together they plunge into a high-stakes game of deceit. As they plot and scheme, the lines between pretense and reality blur. Their forced proximity ignites an unexpected chemistry, leading to moments of vulnerability and genuine connection neither anticipated. Caught in a whirlwind of deception, passion, and power plays, Delilah grapples with their growing feelings. As their con deepens, she must confront the ultimate question: Can she open her heart to love and trust again? ****Exerpt**** Delilah’s eyes darted to the marriage certificate again, the official seal glaring back at her. Her fingers itched to tear it apart, to make this nightmare disappear. But deep down, she knew that wouldn’t change anything. “I don’t remember,” she whispered, more to herself than to him. “I don’t remember any of it.” Blake nodded as if he had expected this reaction. “That is expected. You had a lot to drink last night.” he fished out a phone from the back pocket of his trousers, opened it. “Here, this is us celebrating, after we got married last night,” he said, showing her a picture. Delilah’s breath caught in her throat as she stared at the photo. It was indeed her. “How?” she whispered, her voice barely audible. “I don’t remember any of this.” “It was a wild night,” he said softly. Perhaps she had married Blake because he was wealthy. That would be the only logical reason for her to make such a blunder. There was hope, she thought, as she clung to the possibility of salvaging something from this disaster. Turning to him, she forced a smile, “Is this your house? Are we in your house?” She asked, looking around the bedroom. Blake shook his head, “No. This is a hotel,” he said, and she nodded. “I see. It looks like quite an expensive hotel,” she observed, “What do you do for a living?” she asked, trying to keep her voice steady as she searched his eyes for any hint of affluence. Blake hesitated, his confident demeanor faltering for the first time. He looked away, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m... in between jobs,” he stuttered, avoiding her gaze. Delilah’s heart sank, disappointment crashing over her like a wave. “In between jobs?” she echoed, her voice tinged with disbelief. Blake seemed to sense her dismay. “I know it doesn’t sound great,” he said quickly, trying to reassure her. “But I’m working on a few things. I just need a little more time.” “You’re jobless,” she muttered to herself as reality sunk in. “How did you pay for this room? For the wedding bands?” She asked, and he winced. “I didn’t. You did,” he said, and she collapsed on the bed. (PS: Cover photo isn’t mine. Credit to the real owner)

Miss_Behaviour · Urban
5.0
219 Chs

Madam’s Identities Shocks the Entire City Again

Qiao Nian lived in the Qiao family’s house for 18 years before her biological parents found her. Suddenly, all the wealthy families in the city knew that the Qiao family had a fake daughter! A true daughter of an affluent family would be talented, gentle, and kind. A fake daughter would not be able to pick up any skills and accomplish nothing. Everyone wanted to see how miserable she would become when she went back to her ravine after being kicked out of a rich family! Qiao Nian also thought that her biological parents were poor teachers from Luohe County. Who knew that her brother drove a Phaeton that was worth three hundred thousand yuan! Her biological father was also a professor who taught at Tsinghua University! The big boss of the family of scums became a bootlicker and bowed in front of her grandpa… Qiao Nian was dumbfounded. Erm… this wasn’t the same as saying yes! After being freed from the family of scums, Qiao Nian was able to be herself. She was the top student in the college entrance examination, a live broadcast star and the heir of an invaluable cultural heritage… Her identities were revealed and when she started to appear on the hot searches in the city, the family of scums turned green. The anti-fans mocked: What’s the point of trying to fake an image? Aren’t you just sticking to my brother everyday? Qiao Nian responded: I’m sorry but I already have a match. Top Brother: @Qiao Nian. Let me introduce her to everyone. This is my sister. Wealthy Grandpa: My dear granddaughter, why are you working so hard? If you want a bicycle, grandpa will buy it for you! The rich and powerful in Beijing spread a rumor that Master Wang was hiding a wife in his luxurious house. No matter how much people tried to persuade him, he never took her out to meet anyone. If he were asked, he would say the same sentence. “My wife is from the countryside and she is shy.” That was until one day when someone saw the noble and cold Master Wang holding a girl’s slender waist while hiding in a corner of a wall and muttering with red eyes. “Baby, when will you give me a title?” [Fake daughter who is from a truly wealthy family] + [Two big bosses]

Brother Ling · Urban
4.5
3367 Chs

Reborn in the Enemy's Embrace

Sophia was adopted when she was a kid, a dream come true for orphans. However Her life was anything but happy, her fiance whom she harbored intense love for 10 years cruelly exploited her and used her as a prawn to lure a deranged murderer targeting his lover. It is a horrible thing for your loved one to betray you, especially in a tragic manner. It seemed she was spurred by the complete despair over having nothing and no one to live for. Therefore, she surrendered without a fight. However, after her death. One would not expect a woman like Sophia, someone small as a caterpillar or even a dung beetle to be reborn, But here she is—perhaps she might have saved a kingdom in another life, or maybe God pitied her. She finds herself reincarnated as a timid and obedient wife of a billionaire. Sophia decides she wants revenge that could ruin her fiance and lover's life. And the only way to do that was to get pregnant with her billionaire husband's child! Dexter Black was the illegitimate son of a wealthy family, their marriage was nothing but a benefit for the two families. He could choose anyone to be his bride but the moment he laid his eyes on her,he knew she was the one he wanted. Dexter knows that there is something mysterious going on around her. She got a mystifying background. But he doesn't care about who she was in the past and why they keep attacking her. All he can think of is loving her, cherishing her, locking her up so that she will never return to her past. Because he knows that he won't be able to live a moment away from her. Would their marriage be a romantic tale or utter disaster? ~ Except~ "Wait, let me get this straight," she says, her voice rising. "You want me to get pregnant?" Alexander's face remains impassive. "They, yeah." Sophia stares at him, searching for signs of a head injury or a hidden camera crew. Finding neither, she decides this must be his twisted form of play. "You're going crazy," she announces, grabbing her things. "I'm leaving." She's halfway to the door when his words stop her cold. "It's either you get pregnant, or they won't allow you to leave until you are," Alexander says calmly. She pauses to process his words.

Ihateblue · Urban
4.1
207 Chs

Mr. Tycoon's Daring Wife

"Stay with me and I will give you everything your heart desires. For you, my darling, I would part the mountains, split the sea, and cause havoc on Earth just to have you." - - - - - In every love story, there's always a vengeful and venomous fiancée who was engaged to the rich and handsome CEO that fell for the poor, but gentle and innocent female lead. In his greed for her love, he broke his poor fiancée whose love drove her to the brink of insanity. No one ever cared about how the fiancée felt. Zhao Lifei was prepped her entire life to marry one man, but suddenly, his heart was captured by another. She was face-slapped, destroyed, and disowned for loving Zheng Tianyi. She was willing to sacrifice her youth, time, and heart for the man, but all she got was pain and despair. It took two harsh, but awakening years for Zhao Lifei to finally understand the mistakes she has made in the past. After her redemption, it was now Zhao Lifei's turn to experience a love grander than the female lead. Smarter, feistier, and wittier, Zhao Lifei knew how to survive the cruel, backstabbing, and harsh upper-class society was. "A cheating fiancé that broke my heart? Screw him, I'll find someone richer!" "All of my friends have abandoned me? Whatever, I'll find better ones!" "My parents disowned me? That's fine, my grandfather is wealthier and more powerful than both of them combined!" To the polar opposite of the snarky Zhao Lifei, was the incredibly wealthy and powerful, yet ruthlessly cold Yang Feng. Yang Feng, the King of the Business Empire, was a man to be feared. Heart of ice, eyes of stone, merciless but enticingly handsome, there was not a single person in this world that dared to offend him. Many have tried, but none had succeeded in garnering his attention. That is, until his path unexpectedly collides with Zhao Lifei. Challenges will arise, chaos will commence, and drama will ensue. But then again, what is a love story without disturbance? They say love without conflict is just a simple crush and the story of Zhao Lifei and Yang Feng was anything but that. - - - - - Novel Status: Completed. Note: This is an original story by me (xincerely) and not a translation :) This book is found exclusively on webnovel.com. Please DO NOT repost it anywhere else. Story Discord: https://discord.gg/N5zzn6t Author's Instagram: xincerely_author Editors and Proofreaders: Yserieh, ketaki, deelah, SniperGirl, dumdum007, YunRei, Blissful, ninaviews, Ocelot, Hoodwinhemmford, PantojaC0311, _pia29, dumdum007, filledelisle, myco, rosie, and littlebakergirl

Xincerely · Urban
4.7
428 Chs

Even After My Death

Jiang Ning was the true heiress of the Huo Family, lost and living outside. After being brought back by her family, her birth parents didn't like her, her cold-faced brother despised her, and her twin brothers would tell her to get lost from the home at the drop of a hat. Waking up alone in the hospital, she was diagnosed by the doctor with a terminal illness, yet her own family was busy throwing a party for the fake heiress. Jiang Ning was furious! She kicked these so-called family members one by one, sending them all flying! If they didn't accept her, she didn't care for them either! ...... Jiang Ning participated in a rural countryside live stream variety show. Her haters caught wind and came to greet Jiang Ning's entire family in the barrage of messages. But what they found was: Day one: Shock! Jiang Ning catches a thief on the street! A golden retriever runs over to help her. Day two: Jiang Ning snatches a child back from human traffickers with her bare hands! A bird publicly defecates on the traffickers' heads! Day three: Jiang Ning fights a criminal in a life-and-death struggle! A goose mocks them at the scene. Thief: "I had already finished stealing, and she still caught me. It's absurd." Murderer on the run for sixteen years: "You might not believe it, but I just came to buy a bottle of water, and she came up to me with a big right hook." A nice countryside live stream somehow turned into a legal synergy. The online audience crazily tagged the official police accounts: "Let's be honest, isn't she an undercover agent you dispatched?" "Jiang Ning's side job is entering the entertainment industry, but her main role is catching criminals, right?" A certain big shot attached a wedding photo: "Wife, mine."

Arctic Circle's little bear · Urban
Not enough ratings
357 Chs