webnovel
Nightdrift
NightdriftLv65yr
2019-05-23 14:33

This Novel needs some serious re writing. It is a classic example of someone writing a story synopsis to match a writing competition and still trying to make the synopsis/MC backstory seem relatable and exciting, only to then realize that it was a load of trash and will cripple the progress of their story as they don't know how to properly integrate the components. The author thus has a very thick face, makes many, many contradictory statements and events. MC winds up unrelatable and unrealistic considering his past. Case in point, the back story of the MC does not line up with his actions, he should have barely read anything in that huge library because a) it was huge, B) he was fighting for his life and recources all the time, c) he was a young man. He had neither the time nor mental acuity to digest the library's contents. In the authors own words the MC was average. Other than the bare necessity of Mana cultivation knowledge he should know nothing about alchemy, because a) in his original time there were next to no alchemy resources and thus no need to waste time on 'useless learning' , B) he would have little to no time to practice and experiment, which as even the author states, is absolutely necessary. In short this story is pushed ahead by its release date and general lack of glaring spelling and Grammer errors, thanks to some decent editors. Unfortunately they as well fail in the prime editing directive, which is to do more than just correct spelling and Grammer. A piece of software can do that much, they fail to correct the terrible inconsistencies found in this novel. This novel is a symptom of the worst of webnovel's glamour. And yet simply changing the MC from a 20 year old youth when he died to a 100-200 year old veteran wizard who had the time to absorb decent amounts of misc knowledge from the library turns the whole paradigm on its head. Will it require a lot of rewriting, yes. But it needs to happen nonetheless. In short, if the author want his novel to be anything more than a trashy joke then they need to seriously consider the overall novel balance and scope, otherwise this novel will slowly throttle itself to death in a mire of tangled and increasingly convoluted and contrived plots.

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Replies3
ArtistaFeel
ArtistaFeelLv4

Wanna try something different? Try this! "Lyricist: Her Revenge" I'm sure you'll love it.

Nightdrift
NightdriftLv6

Thanks for the recommend, I will definitely give it a read and review.

ArtistaFeel:Wanna try something different? Try this! "Lyricist: Her Revenge" I'm sure you'll love it.
ArtistaFeel
ArtistaFeelLv4

🙂

Nightdrift:Thanks for the recommend, I will definitely give it a read and review.
Other Reviews
RoachTheRoach
RoachTheRoachLv5

THIS IS AN ACTUAL REVIEW WITH DETAILS AND SUMMARY. READ IT. IF YOU WANT TO GET TO THE REVIEW, SKIP THIS PARAGRAPH. First, I would like to say that this novel deserves a higher rating than it currently has. Why? Because several people have left one-star reviews, claiming that the other novel in the "What's Next" section had more reviews. This is not true! Also, the original novel is NOT DROPPED. These rumors have been propagated by one single user who has also been leaving hate comments and abuse. Now, onto business. Overall Summary: I've only read to chapter 10, the latest chapter released, but it seems pretty good so far. The basic premise is that there is a character, named Lin Yun, living during the apocalypse. It's a magic world, but they used up all of the mana, and now there is none left, and their world is ravaged by disasters. The main character is originally from Earth. However, this seems unneeded as it is not relevant to the story in any way as far as I can tell. Lin Yun is struck by a mysterious phenomenon, causing them to transmigrate into the body of one Mafa Merlin, a 9th Rank Magic Apprentice. Mafa belongs to a trading company called the Flashing Gold Chamber of Commerce, and is very wealthy. However, his father was with their fleet of ships transporting several extremely valuable goods when a storm struck and sunk the fleet, killing his father and bankrupting the Flashing Gold Chamber of Commerce. Artemis Fowl, anyone? Now, creditors are coming to collect, but Mafa has no money to give them. Lin Yun, however, retains the knowledge of his two past lives, and is aware of several advanced techniques that would not exist for centuries, allowing him to advance into a 1st Rank Mage. And I can't reveal any more without spoilers! Yay! Translation Quality: 5/5: Not much to say here. Good grammar, slightly odd sentence structure, but that could be more due to the original style than the translator's style. Thanks for translating this, Shiraishi! Stability of Updates: 5/5: This one I can't really judge, since we haven't had any updates, but the original mass release (10 chapters) was enough to get a basic idea of the storyline, and apparently there will be 14/Chapters per Week, or 2/Chapters per Day. Thanks for translating, again, Shiraishi! Story Development: 2/5: Unfortunately, I'm going to have to give this one a 2/5. Why? Because there's not really a plot. Yes, I am perfectly aware that I have only read 10 chapters and that there is probably an actual plot. Here's the problem. The MC is insanely OP. He's aware of advanced techniques, looks like an alchemy genius, and so forth. That's the problem with so much future knowledge. Additionally, there is so much FACE-SLAPPING! Like, so much of it. It's the equivalent of... let's imagine you're in a technology competition. There's a really rich kid competing with you who has gotten this far on money alone. But now, he has to compete based solely on his skill... and he produces the technology needed to go faster than lightspeed. This is through no fault of your own, the problem is that the kid is from the future and knows how to build stuff that comes in several centuries. Do you see the problem? Now, let's say the... government wants his stuff. Unfortunately, the kid can also build giant mechas, plasma cannons, interstellar ships, and even technology that can stop a nuke. That's what the equivalent of this is. There's not going to be much of a plot because the MC is just THAT OP. Character Design: 4/5: This one's a bit hard to judge, since we've only seen about five different characters, including the MC. The MC himself is not that well-developed so far, but it's sort of funny to watch him drool over really common items since they don't exist far into the future. Going back to our earlier example, it's like the kid drooling over seeing a piece of wood. Maybe trees don't exist in the far future! Then, we have Raymond, the son of the old caretaker/housekeeper. He's a 5th Rank Mage who gets face-slapped by the MC. Then, Raymond is all, OMG, you're amazing, I'm gonna follow you around. He ends up getting amazing (to him) rewards from the MC, but the sad part is that the MC doesn't even notice... next comes the "uncle." Have you ever seen that trope where the family relative tries to take the MC's stuff after the parents die? Yeah. That's him, and he's the main reason that Character Design is losing a star. World Background: 5/5: Again, not much so far, but it's pretty well developed. It's a world called Noscent, and personally, I think the whole, "running out of mana" thing is very interesting. The ranking system goes like this: Magic Apprentice --> Mage --> Great Mage --> High Mage --> Archmage. They have something similar for other jobs as well, like Alchemist. In the beginning, we also get some fun background info about what wrecked the world, and later in the book, about other cities and countries, and so forth. Overall, this is pretty good, but there is likely to be a lot of face-slapping and MC being OP, so if you don't like this sort of thing, don't read it! I can't speak as to romance because we haven't even seen any female characters yet, so I don't know if there is romance. Also, Shiraishi is a very good translator! Thanks! I personally am going to keep reading this. Upvote this comment if you liked it so that more people can get ACTUAL reviews and not just random five-star or one-star reviews.

SecondTryCharm
SecondTryCharmLv4
Clara_the_fish
Clara_the_fishLv10
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