Chapter 8: Orange Tinged Atmosphere

'Okay, maybe I shouldn't have left that letter there.. I do hope her parents found it first. Why the hell am I thinking about this now?'

Seto Hiroko's flip flops making violent contact over Kousei's head brought him back to the current timeline. He just missed a few beats with his playing since he was spacing out. And it was such a simple tune that he was completely familiar with. No wonder his teacher got upset.

"What pianist makes a mistake with 'twinkle, twinkle'?!..", Hiroko exclaimed as Kousei continued warming up with the said song.

It was early in the morning, and they were both not morning persons, so she was quite short tempered. Kousei could actually barely distinguish the color of her lips from her face because of her irritation.

'Was she about to show me a demon transformation jutsu?..', thought Kousei.

"Focus.. stop wasting my time, Kousei..", Hiroko added.

And that was pretty much the entire story for the rest of the morning. Kousei really couldn't get his act together. Focus was something quite elusive in that practice with his teacher. She had other students to teach for the rest of the day, but the opportunity to train her top protégé in person does not come very often, all thanks to Kousei's refusal to come back to Tokyo.

'Then, I really had to waste her time..', pondered Kousei while he pushed the keys gently. 'We even failed to choose a piece for the next competition. But really, what could I have ever done? I just couldn't stop thinking about the previous day.'

That letter had been the most precious thing Kousei ever held for the past three years.

'Did I really make the right decision to leave it there? Come to think of it, it was an emotional and impulsive decision.'

Kousei did it because he saw her parents have moved on.

'Was that really my way of easing myself out of the burden of regret? For starters, yes.. but there's just one thing that I couldn't get my mind out of. Shit. I hope they don't read it.. but it doesn't matter.. I left it there.. so I should forget about it.'

Since the practice eventually became an unproductive mess, Kousei decided to stop. Hiroko left a couple of hours prior and gave him a few things to work on. But it wasn't really working that day. The atmosphere was too suffocating for him. All those memories seemed to mingle with the air around him, making it harder to breathe in.

And once again, Kousei found himself walking around town aimlessly.

'What am I looking for? Am I looking for her presence again? Or am I starting to become delusional?'

That was probably the case. Moving on from the pain she left Kousei was even harder than he first thought it would ever be. He actually thought that maybe if he just stayed and immersed himself in this environment, he would've moved on properly a long time ago.

Amidst the white cover of snow throughout the streets of his hometown, a single black speck stood out to catch Kousei's attention while it approached.

'It had always been the case when you don't mind the cat. It would eventually come near and bother me, just like her.'

As he bent down to pet the cute and cuddly creature, someone called Kousei out from behind. A caramel haired boy was running after him like he didn't notice he passed him by earlier. It was probably because Kousei was so deep in his thoughts while he walked.  

"Kousei! I finally caught up..", it was Watari after all. He was still catching his breath. "I saw you walking from afar.. I called you up, but you looked like you were spaced out.. so I ran after you. You okay, buddy?"

"Not really..", replied Kousei.

"Wow.. that was quite straightforward.. I was expecting, 'yeah man, I'm good', or 'yup, fine.. you?', or any possible lame ass way to hide your pent up frustration from having a hard time moving on.."

"You're quite straightforward yourself, Watari..", Kousei replied in awe with how much his friend knew about him. "I guess there's really no fooling you.. but yeah.. this is actually really hard.."

"I'm sorry, Kousei..", apologized Watari, surprising his friend with the sudden downward spiral of his tone. "I didn't mean to put you in this situation.."

Suddenly, an unexpected surge of nostalgia flooded Kousei's thoughts. It was a very similar situation, but the one in the past was not something coated by the winter snow. Instead, they were like hiding from the gaze of the silver moon one night, pretending not to be caught if ever someone told his best friend he was alone with the girl he liked.

"Do you resent me?..", she asked.

"..you're suffering.. and I know..", she said again. "..and yet, I keep saying irresponsible things.. I'm sorry.."

"Of course, it'll be hard for me. This is an adventure, right?..", Kousei said to Watari, bringing himself back to the present. "All thanks to you.. I'm back and rearing myself to keep going. She wouldn't want me giving up just because I'm in uncharted waters.."

"I'm not sure if you're going soft on me and stuff..", Watari replied, which almost made Kousei pop a vein since he was trying to give him his appreciation. "But yeah you're right.. I guess.. means you're kinda ready to move forward.. so c'mon, let's go to school.."

"Say what?..", asked Kousei in both surprise and confusion.

"Just come with me, buddy.. I'll introduce you to the new team..", Watari answered. And then, he started to smirk, which eventually progressed into a chuckle. "And maybe I'll also let you in a circle with a few girls.."

It was around noon time when the two friends arrived at their former school, Sumiya junior high.

'One could probably call this "Kousei versus his old school full of memories with her part two"..', thought Kousei. Most of their precious moments were etched in the halls of this school, and going here may help him in moving on from her. 'Well, that was according to Watari so we decided to give it another try.'

However, the timing of the two's arrival may have been for Kousei's best friend's own benefit as well. It was winter break, so not a lot of people were in school, save for those who were doing make up classes. Noon was the perfect time to see all of the students who attended classes since it was lunchtime. It gave Kousei the conclusion Watari only wanted to check out the girls of course. That shouldn't even surprise him anyway.

'Once he sees the first few batches of girls walking out of their respective classrooms, he most probably could care less about my issues.'

And then, there it was. A blonde girl in school uniform suddenly nudged Kousei's shoulder.

"Sorry, mister.. I was rushing..", she said. She had grayish blue eyes and was cute, but she wasn't her.

A tiny short haired girl with a skinny blonde classmate walked down the stairs after that incident. It sort of reminded Kousei of Tsubaki and her whenever he waited for them to come down after classes. 'They were classmates after all.. but yeah, of course.. they aren't them. It just mirrors the past a bit.'

Another girl walked by with her blonde hair tied in a low pony tail as Kousei and Watari went towards the cafeteria. 'She never wore her hair like that.. so that isn't her.'

After a few moments, a tall blonde girl blocked the two friends' path as she walked slower than them. 'Obviously, that definitely isn't her unless she had an incredible growth spurt in the afterlife..

'Right. The afterlife. I'm wishful thinking again. Fate really has its own way of playing with my emotions..

'That photograph really did a number in my thoughts. It's a no brainer to expect her to be alive in this school. And yet.. I keep searching for her..

'I really need to get a grip on my own life.. but here I am, looking like a creeper who checks out the blondes in the school.'

"Watari.. I didn't know there were so many blondes enrolled in this school..", Kousei asked out of the blue with an eyebrow raised.

"Oh, it's probably because of this popular anime that was just shown recently..", Watari answered, completely oblivious of where Kousei's point was going.

"And what is the title of this anime?"

"'Your Dye in April'.. lead female character there dyed her hair blonde. Why?"

"Nothing. I just noticed the probability of a blonde girl in this school playing a piano in the music prep room during your team's photoshoot suddenly got higher..", Kousei replied with his tone increasing gradually as the tiring sentence progressed.

Watari squinted towards his friend as if really trying to figure out what he just said. When he finally realized it, he just chuckled awkwardly. "That so? Well, wow. Look at the time. I gotta go..", he said while slowly backing away.

"Where the hell are you going?..", demanded Kousei.

"Football team. Yeah. I haven't checked on them, you know. Maybe you should check the music room out too. See ya..", answered Watari while he ran off.

'What an idiot..'

Kousei did check the music room out eventually. This was where he actually felt like breaking down. There were so many good and bad memories here. It was too much to take in that it pained him a lot. He could actually still see her walking around and humming as he closed his eyes with the smell of old varnish and chalk, as well as the muffled sounds of different school activities outside.

The piano was very well maintained. The floor was pretty clean that one can actually lay down and sleep on it, which Kousei did often before. Daylight passed through the room very well to give energy to those who wanted to practice their pieces. The only real eyesore here was the broken window where Tsubaki's softball went through.

But what really hurt Kousei the most was the last time he was here, she was still alive. He actually let a few tears drop at this thought. It was way too painful to bear. He remembered practicing Chopin's Ballade No. 1 in G minor, Op. 23. It was around a week before the final round of the East Japan Piano Competition. And she continuously brutally criticized his playing through a phone call because she was in the hospital, fighting for dear life, fighting for him.

'How I wish I could show her how much I've perfected the Ballade..', pondered Kousei as he approached the piano. 'That's actually a good idea. Let's play it here. Let it ring.. and hear me out.. wherever you are..'

Kousei played through to his heart's content. He needed some practice anyway. And the piece fit the mood perfectly. All of his memories with her had become sufferings he poured on as notes when he hit the keys. But in essence, he actually did that all the time.

'My music is a lot more beautiful whenever I think of her. Did I ever reach her?'

Then, Kousei saw a piano piece placed in front of him as he ended playing the Ballade. He carefully looked at it and realized there were a lot of erasures. The piece was handwritten and unfamiliar to him. It could only mean one thing. It was an original composition. Its title was "Orenji", or "Orange" in English.

Kousei decided to play it first. The tune gave him an impression of a very lonesome story of one who was separated from someone dear. The narrative the piece implied were shared wonderful memories of two individuals together and even shared the same dream. And yet, the underlying sad notes told they got separated, although hoping they could see each other again.

Somehow while playing, it got Kousei's eyes welling up with tears. And he felt like a deep void was pierced through his chest. 'Is it really the story behind this piece? Or is it just my memories making it hard for me to play this?'

Kousei kept playing though, and he knew he was getting an audience. A few students were actually standing right outside the door, too shy to go inside and listen. For some reason, he got so connected to the piece that he reached other people's hearts as well.

That was when Kousei saw her laying down on a beach. The sea was calm and almost flat as if it was a glass made floor. The sun was setting in the horizon like a great wheel of fire sinking in the ocean, slowly getting its blaze extinguished by the water. There was a town near the shore that was seemingly painted orange by the sunset.

She then stood up and walked towards where a sound of the piano came from, creating ripples on the orange tinged surface of the water. But she couldn't see where the music was. Then, the playing started to fade as if it was going farther away. She started to run, but it still continued to fade. Then, she began to cry.

It broke Kousei's heart seeing this. He wanted to help her out, but he could do nothing.

However, she never gave up as always. She continued to run. Suddenly, the music gradually got louder as she rushed even more. Until finally, she could see where the music was coming from. Kousei was there, playing the piano under a cherry blossom tree. A black cat, that same cat, was sleeping on the grand piano.

Kousei listened to the piece as well. '"Orenji" was it? Yes. I also played that a while ago. That high pitched soft melody start would eventually be accompanied by deeper tones in the middle of the intro..

'Then, the.. wait. Someone started to sing? Singing? Lyrics? Where did that come from? It wasn't written in the piece..

'The voice, it's so angelic. I could actually feel her sadness under that rich tone. The way she connects to the song.. I could listen to this all day..

'Wait.. if it wasn't written in the piece.. and she's singing it now.. then she must be..'

The original composer was singing at the same time, playing her piece when Kousei woke up with a start. He passed out as usual. He actually fell asleep on the floor like before. 'I just remember I didn't get enough sleep because of all the thinking.'

Kousei searched for his glasses, but he couldn't find it. All he could see was a blurred orange version of the music prep room. It must've been late in the afternoon. 'How fitting is this song for the time of the day?'

But suddenly, the music stopped.

"Oh, no.. please don't stop. It's wonderful. Don't mind me..", Kousei insisted as he continued to search for his glasses.

"I'm sorry.. did I wake you? And really? You think it's wonderful? Or are you just being polite?..", a perky voice replied, quite a complete contradiction from her singing.

'She seems capable of firing multiple questions at once..', thought Kousei before he answered.

"No, I am incapable of trying to be polite. Yes, it was that good. And yes, you woke me up, but I'm not supposed to be here anyway."

"Aww.. you really think so? I never really thought I was that good at singing, y'know. I think someone from way before said I was out of tune. What a meanie.."

"And you believed that?"

"Yep. Believed it ever since. So sad.."

A silence followed after as Kousei continued to search for his glasses. Whoever he was talking to was probably completely oblivious of what he was trying to do, or she was still facing the piano. But one thing was for sure, she couldn't stand being silent.

"Is this what you're looking for?..", she asked, handing out a pair of thick rimmed glasses. "I kept it beside me. It was on the floor. Might get stepped on. Sorry it took a while to give it. I looked for my glasses first. I got bad eyesight too..", she added before giggling. She wasn't oblivious after all.

As Kousei looked at her, it all immediately made sense to him. He wasn't wearing his glasses yet, but he could see a contour of a blonde girl that definitely resembled her. This was the one in the picture. She wore black rimmed glasses as well, though it was barely noticeable with Kousei's blurred vision.

"Thank you..", said Kousei while he took his glasses from her.

"I actually thought you were dead when I arrived here..", she mumbled before laughing. Kousei laughed too at the thought of a stranger seeing a body sprawled on the floor. "I thought of bringing a nurse, but you were breathing fine.. so yeah.. you were just asleep..", she added and giggled again.

"I'm sorry for causing you that much trouble..", apologized Kousei as he cleaned his glasses with his shirt. "I should've been practicing my piano pieces somewhere else rather than sleeping in places I shouldn't be in.."

"Oh, no, no, no! Don't be sorry.. it's fine. Sometimes, I get that tired too. Someone once told me, 'learn from yesterday, live for today, look to tomorrow, rest this afternoon'."

Kousei laughed at how silly yet practical the quote she just said. Or maybe it was almost entirely the way she just delivered it. She giggled a little too. "Wow. You certainly have a fair share of words of wisdom. Who told you that?"

"Snoopy.."

'Now where did I hear this before?'

"Thank you for your hospitality. I had a good rest. I think I'll be fine to go home now..", Kousei said, still cleaning his glasses. There was some dirt he couldn't remove. 'I think I might've cracked it.'

"With great pleasure!..", she said with so much excitement. "But wait. I never got to know your name..", she added, almost so animated with her sudden disappointment.

"Oh, crap. Forgive my rudeness. I'm really not good with these kinds of things..", Kousei said, revealing his stiffness, which actually made her laugh. "Arima Kousei. And you?..", stated Kousei, simultaneously putting his glasses on before extending a handshake. His eyes widened in shock as his vision cleared.

"Miyazono Kaori.."

Translation Notes:

Your Dye In April - a nod (or parody) to the original manga, light novel, and anime series, "Your Lie In April", in which this light novel is based from. In this chapter, Watari used this as a reference to the popular anime at that time.

Learn from yesterday, live for today, look to tomorrow, rest this afternoon - a quote said by Snoopy, a character in the popular comic strip series "Peanuts" by Charles Schulz.

Featured Music:

Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star - a very popular English lullaby with the lyrics based on Jane Taylor's poem, and Mozart's melody. However, it was only briefly mentioned in this chapter with Kousei reminiscing the events of the third episode of the anime series where Kaori forced Kousei to play the piano for some children in a cafe.

Chopin's Ballade No. 1 in G minor, Op. 23 - the piano piece that Kousei played in the final episode of the anime. It was only briefly mentioned in this chapter as Kousei remembered himself practicing this piece for the upcoming competition while Kaori coached him over the phone.

Orange - it's actually the ending credits song of the second half of the anime series. Popularized by the J-pop/rock band 7!!, in this light novel however, the song is treated as the original composition of one of the characters.