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With The Power Of Gods In MHA

作者: PP_Puncher
漫画同人
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摘要

There may be a thousand religions but God is one but his manifestation are many. A young man equiped with a system and the power to manifest those manifestation is dropped into a world of unusual powers which is known as the world of My Hero Academia in this world. The MC won't be like be all end all he will have his fair share of problems so don't expect an op MC who can do everything k I have made another book which will be this books auxiliary and will give .ore in depth world building.

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Chapter 1CH-1 The New Beginning

OH SHIT! Were the words that escaped from Divyansh's mouth as He saw an elephant herd rampaging. Shit I knew these forests were teeming with animal life but I did not expect elehants to be rampaging here . I was just a tourist hiking in a forest with a gun. So being the manly man I am I did what any manly man does in this situation I shouted NIGERUNDAYO and ran and ran I fast. So fast in fast in fact that I did not recognise how I was going. Just one little vine snagged my boots I tripped fell and probably broke something. I tried to get up and run and in my mind a song was playing,"Fuck this shit I am out of here" and lo and behold a elephant foot at my chest and I am dead. But wait there is a twist I was a practitioners of tantra Vidya (black magic of India) and I had unfulfilled desire. So a new legend had begun of a ghost who haunts a forest after that day nearly for twenty years I haunted that area and lo and behold I see two excorcist one Hindu and One Christian coming my way I try to haunt them so they go out and are not hurt by the elephants. Suddenly I hear chanting of Prayers I could feel my power waning and then all was black. Then a noise came.

©'DING'

System activating

Please choose Name

Please choose religion

Please choose world

'DING'

404

404

404

404

Error body not found

Redirecting searching for haunting spirit

'DING'

404

404

404

404

Error haunting spirit not found

Searching for soul

'Ding'

Soul found Transporting to a new world

Random Selection

World chosen by scan of hosts memories

World Designated as -My Hero Academia

Randomise Country State and District

Chosen India/Tamil Nadu/Dharm Puri

Host has taken over a lifeless babies body.

Looking at all of lives host has liven.

Good Karma is especially prevalent.

Host chose to help people even as a ghost so tier 9 religion will be allowed.

Host's consciousness put on a stasis until age of 5.

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creepycatisawesone
creepycatisawesoneLv3

Ok So WRITING Quality: The Book is good, It starts a bit awkward as the writing for teh first three chapters isn't smooth but it later improves but as I only have 6 chapters to judge, So the analysis is not perfect. STORY DEVELOPMENT Story Development is fast yet stable, it takes off at a pace good enough for a Fanfic CHACTER DESIGN: He appears to be a bit of a naive character in the beginning but well I guess that is how it should be But I am not Sure if this is because author wants the character to be like that or because he is new at writing. But if you improve his personality over time then it's alright. Updates l: ..... World Background: This is a place which needs improvement as author must understand that not all people on the platform are indians and / or Hindus so a picture of the deities on the chapter comments and a chapter in beginning explaining Various deities in a short paragraph of about 50 words might help. Because someone might actually think of Hanuman as a monkey rather than the humanoid form u are used to. And I must say I don't see the mc going mad ruthless , so if u r looking for a psychopath go somewhere else Lastly I would say that u should describe the characters more or post a photo of theirs because it's hard to visualise Also describ the system. Better do it as a rewrite of first 3 chapters if u have time Eg. "What is your Quirk?" asked the doctor with a thoughtful look on his face. I was confused and thinking what to answer , when suddenly I heard a ding accompanied by a sweet female voice. [*ding* Host is recommended to say that he got the God Avatar System. It would be further cleared to sir after sometime.] I was freaked out on hearing the sound but as I had no better option, I just decided to repeat the words to the doctor. Or something like that. You get it right Anyway write it ur own way I just tried to match ur style. I really like ur creativity and it's a great idea . Peace Out

Mortifer
MortiferLv14

So a critical review. Grammar is atrocious. Dialogues are written continously within the same paragraph. (e.g can you give me this and that sir? Not yet, you need this and that instead. Oh OK sir) Which is painful to read. A reader recommended fixing it by at least adding a "" (e.g. "can you give me this and that, sir?"said person a." not yet, you need this and that instead" according to person b "oh ok sir" replied person A in return.) in the dialogues to distinguish between speakers to which the author replied but completely ignored through the following chapters. While the example is not perfect, at least adding in that few "" would make it significantly easier to read. Unfortunately, the author chose not to. B Characters are not described at all and the paragraphs are huge walls of texts. Also the author can't even be bothered to describe the things he's adding with the quirk (like the avatar thingies). The first 5 avatar had been described by a reader instead of the author. Parents are mentioned with no names and descriptions (or I missed it completely, if I did then forgive me) World building is messed up. Basically MHA but the author decided to include india(?). Lots of native words used without any proper explanation as if the author expects his readers to automatically understand what he is referring to. Update stability I have no idea as I could not stick around long enough to notice. Hence the middle ground 3 star rating Same as stability, I gave story story development a 3 because the other aspects I mentioned already turned me off so much that I can't even proceed with the story.

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