Eyes opened

After years my eyes were finally opened wide,

To the truth of my mom, who I thought my guide.

The woman who picked me, made me feel so special,

Yet put me through years of hell, with a heart that's so disheveled.

Adopted me, made me believe she'd do anything,

Yet left me in pain, a hollow echoing.

At fourteen she gave me up, my world fell apart,

Excused her behavior, yet she broke my heart.

Mental health problems, I used to explain,

But what about my never-ending pain?

She let me endure suffering, let me believe,

That she'd come back, never aiming to deceive.

My little girl, she used to call me,

But she revealed the truth, indirectly, you see.

Everything everyone said, I chose to ignore,

Loved her blindly, my heart always sore.

I'd have given anything for her, destroyed myself too,

In the end, she didn't care, her love was untrue.

Angry at her, and myself, I now see,

For letting myself believe such a painful decree.

From group home to group home, my hope stayed alive,

That she'd take me back, help me survive.

But I wasn't enough, she didn't even try,

Left me with thoughts and feelings, a silent cry.

I hate her now, it's easier this way,

Than feeling the pain that haunts every day.

Letting hatred consume me, easier than the ache,

For a mother who made my heart continuously break.