Waves of emotions

The numbness consumes me, a vast ocean's embrace,

Like waves crashing hard, leaving no trace.

Some might prefer to not feel at all,

But I yearn for my essence, though it's so small.

Pills keep me steady, yet hollow inside,

A flicker of self I can't seem to hide.

And still, some nights, the waves return,

A storm of emotions, relentless, they burn.

I fight and I wrestle, I push them away,

But terror consumes me; they're here to stay.

My therapist whispers, "Acceptance is key,"

But nothing I try ever sets me free.

I hate these emotions, too heavy to bear,

I cry to the heavens, but no one is there.

The only escape I dream of is sleep,

A visit from death, a silence so deep.

For I wasn't born to carry this pain,

It's the work of abusers who left their stain.

Yes, hate is a word both sharp and strong,

But in my shoes, you'd feel it all wrong.

So waves crash on, and I beg for release,

A prayer for still waters, for peace to increase.

But here I remain, my essence astray,

Wishing for calm as the waves fade away.