Chapter 42

Those last words broke everyone free of their shock and I heard screams of rage behind me from everyone and a huge roar as Bruce brought Hulk forth. I felt Dean's hand ripped away from my hair and his shout as he was pulled back and attacked.

I felt dead inside. I raised my head and just looked back at everyone with empty, lifeless eyes. I felt numb. I turned my head away and was trying to stumble to my feet when someone's arms lifted me. One was cold metal but I couldn't feel it. I was lost in a mental sea of pain and self-hatred. My mind and heart felt frozen, and I couldn't feel anything. I just hung lifeless, prepared for the blows I knew were coming. They always came when I messed up or tried to be more than I was. I had lost count of the beatings I had taken growing up. Dean was right. All my badass and sass was a cover for the worthless child inside.

Someone set me on my feet, and I felt hands cupping my face, raising my head. I looked into and through a pair of scared blue eyes. The sounds of fighting filled the room. It was my fault that now people were going to get hurt again. I swayed a little and I felt hands steady me. I looked dully around me. Sam and Cas were backed into a corner with their hands raised not wanting to fight. They still looked horrified at what Dean had said and done.

I saw Dean on his knees with his hands bound behind him. He had blood on his face, more than from his bloody nose, a black eye, and new bruises all over his face. Tony had one of his suit's gloves on and it looked like he had punched Dean in the face with it. Nat looked murderous, Bruce was still Hulk and menacing Sam and Cas while Clint had an arrow trained on them. Wanda was glowing red, and Vision was floating. Steve held one of Dean's shoulders down while Thor held the other. I felt a small thought wishing Dean good luck moving with the God of Thunder and a Super Soldier holding him down, but it was quickly buried back under the pain of the past I was caught up in. Loki's dagger was held to Dean's throat, and he was saying something to Dean that I couldn't make out.

Hands gently caressed my face, and I turned emotionless empty eyes back to the blue ones in front of me. I just stood calmly and waited. I knew punishment was coming, it always did, and it did no good to fight against it. It just made it worse. Better to be still and go away in my head. I had learned to make a safe place in my head. It made the whippings and beatings not hurt as bad. Most of me was gone. The little that stayed was only to keep track of what was going on and when it was safe to come back. I wasn't sure I wanted to come back this time. I had felt what heaven must have been like, only to find it a dream and instead I was caught in Hell.

"Hey Doll. It's ok." He softly kissed me. I didn't respond and my expression never changed. I just stood unmoving and continued to look through him with lifeless eyes. 

"Loki!! Something's wrong!! She isn't responding at all!" 

He stroked my face. "Come on, Doll. Please, you're ok. We're here. It's all going to be ok." He had tears running down his face. 

"God damnit Loki, leave that piece of shit and get over here! She's hurt or something! I can't seem to reach her! He did something to her, but I don't know what! Now get the fuck over here! I don't have the knowledge or powers you do!"

I heard Bucky scream again for Loki, but I didn't look around. I heard a dagger clatter to the floor and footsteps running over to me. I felt new hands touching my face and Loki's blue eyes replaced Bucky's. I just stared, looking through him, distant, waiting like I was taught. Show no emotion. Perfect obedience. Be still. Be silent. Don't fight. Feel nothing. Be nothing. 

Those blue eyes stared deeply into mine. I felt a small pressure in my head, but it was gone too quickly to care. I saw rage fill those blue eyes and I flinched away in fear, waiting for the beating I deserved. It was the first reaction to anything I had shown in minutes. I was pulled into his arms and felt hands stroking my hair as his body shook. This wasn't what normally happened. Had I really messed up this time? Were they just toying with me to make the beating worse? Part of me hoped they would go too far and kill me this time.

I was gently passed back to Bucky, and I stood passively with his arms around me. I had no idea what was coming but I knew it wouldn't be good and it was going to hurt a lot.

Loki whirled around and strode to Dean. He stopped in front of him and just shook with rage.

"Brother, what is happening? What is wrong with Ariane?"

"Loki is she ok? What's going on?" Nat's voice sounded frantic.

"Is the Kid hurt? Do we need to take her to medical? Bruce, go take a look at her!" Tony sounded worried and a little frantic.

At their words, Loki punched Dean in the face once, twice, three times, breaking bones before Thor could grab him. He fought against Thor to get to Dean. 

"You insignificant Midgardian scum! You have nearly broken her! You will pay for all the damage you have caused here this night. How dare you come here to our home and harm her like this!" Loki stopped fighting Thor and stood, breathing heavily, glaring at Dean. "Please, Wanda, I will need all the help you can give me." His voice dropped and he looked at Wanda with tortured eyes. "She is lost. I can't reach her by myself. I... I don't know that I can bring her back to us if we even find her."

Rage and horror covered everyone's face including Sam and Cas. I flinched. Those looks meant pain and a lot of it. I saw Sam punch Dean and I saw a hint of Cas's wings as he lost his temper. 

"What the fuck?! I've never hated you Dean, even with everything we've been through. But I hate you now. She was innocent and didn't deserve what you said. It was all lies and you know it. Even if you don't love her, I love her. Cas loves her. And you are full of shit. Even if we make it back, you are on your own. I am leaving and I don't want to EVER see you again. I don't think even Bobby will want anything to do with you when he hears about this. He loved her like a daughter."

Cas's voice rumbled loudly in the room, louder than it should have. "You have done nothing but cause damage here. I helped you as I had believed you cared for her. I risked a lot to bring you here. I will be taking you back and I will NEVER come to help you again Dean. No one in Heaven will help you. There is no excuse for this. There is no Demon inside you, the Mark of Cain does not rule you. This is your own sadistic behavior. Sadly for you, even Crowley cares about her which is why he brought her here. The King of Hell will be glad to have you visit him when you fall."

 I flinched again at the hate in their voices. I heard a soft voice in my ear.

"Hey, no one is mad at you Doll."

Cas looked at everyone. "I'm sorry that this has happened. Had I known Dean would do this I never would have brought him here. Let me see if there is anything I can do to help bring her back. My powers are more limited here as the angels here are different, but I will do all that I can to make this right." 

Cas started walking towards me.

I turned pleading eyes to Bucky. I spoke in a voice that was heard throughout the room, but not in a voice they had heard from me before. It was the voice of a broken child. "Please. I'm sorry I didn't do it right. I'll try again and do it right this time, honest. Please don't whip me again. Please. I'm sorry. I don't want to go to the basement. Please don't make me. It's dark down there." Terror was heard in my voice, and everyone froze, even Dean. "Please, I don't want to go. Please don't make me. I promise I will do better. I will. Just please don't make me. The bad things are down there, and they hurt. Please. PLEASE!" I screamed a child's fear. My eyes rolled back, and Bucky's arms were the only thing that kept me from hitting the floor as I passed out.