Chapter 10.5

Song Feng Mian smiled at what she wrote, everything was going as expected. Honestly, it wasn't surprising her mother would be the one to object to the wedding between the two, it was sad that she couldn't see it.

"What a waste..." she muttered under her breath as she folded an airplane and threw it into the air.

"I wonder if my life would be different if I could change my past, would I be able to find love?"

Song Feng Mian said out loud as her eyes traced the paper airplane flying through the air.

[ Flashback ] (Song Feng Mian POV)

"Study hard, be like your sister, look how amazing she is when she's the same age as you. I need both my daughters to be special." said mother.

I stared at the endless papers in front of me, there were textbooks to my left and right and in the middle were all worksheets.

Why did I have to do this?

I couldn't understand, even if I was twins with my sister, I didn't need to be "special." Nevertheless, I listened to my mother's orders, I spent night after night finishing everything, studying, memorizing all the information on the books.

However, even if I became special, I would never be on the same level as my sister. Song Liya was someone I looked up to, at the time, she was brave, she was able to stand up for herself, if I was ever in a situation like that, I don't think I'd even be able to say a word.

She had talent, she was good at everything she did, there wasn't a single thing she's done that didn't surprise anyone. People later started calling her a genius, a blessing that came from the Great Deity.

From then on, everyone's attention was focused on Song Liya, there was never a Song Feng Mian ever mentioned. I was normal, an average child whose talent is at the same level as a commoner.

I was stuck in my sister's shadow, I didn't particularly hate it, I'd rather not have all the attention my sister had. After spending countless years in the room, I began to enjoy the quietness.

Despite this room in one of the farthest hallways in the palace, I was still able to hear loud cheering noises from people and celebrations. I began to grow curious about what was happening in the outside world even though I was never interested in the past, I was so focused on my studies that I never even bothered to find out what was happening.

However, the moment I tried stepping out of the room, my mother was already outside the door telling me to stay in it and to never leave again.

"Why can't I leave?" I asked.

"Because the outside world isn't for you, not until you're worthy enough to be shown in public." my mother replied.

"What do you mean? I've studied a lot already, I'm smart and I'm worthy!" I exclaimed.

"HAHAHAHA! Do you really think that? Do not forget that I am your mother, the one who gave birth to you, I know everything about you." said my mother.

I had complicated feelings, I knew there was nothing I could say to persuade my mother to let me go out.

In the end, I was bound to stay in this empty room of mine.

My mind drifted to my sister, she was filled with talent, even I felt envy towards her since...well, since there was nothing special about me.

But the only thing I wanted the most that my sister had that I didn't was freedom. I didn't want to be stuck in this white, bland room of mine endlessly studying.

Still, I couldn't disobey my mother.

I wanted something to set me free, something to set me free from this cage I'm stuck in. That was when she appeared, Yu Yingyi, the commoner who caused quite the commotion in the imperial palace.

It wasn't surprising the news was able to get to even me, it was a shock to everyone since it was Song Liya, the one who everyone feared and was said to reject every man that proposed to her.

Of course, I was perplexed by the news, but when she suddenly appeared outside of my room, I wasn't surprised. Everything my sister said was correct, her beauty would definitely rival one of the top heiresses of the imperial family.

When I saw her, I was already entranced by her looks even though she was still in her commoner clothes. All of the makeover ideas I learned over the past years all came back into my mind and it was filled with Yu Yingyi's makeover getting done by me.

I couldn't let this chance go to waste.

After our small talk, I offered to do her makeover which she accepted. I felt the excitement creeping up inside me, I liked this feeling a lot, it made me feel...free.

I didn't even bother looking at Yu Yingyi's reaction as I was doing her makeover, I was too busy enjoying this free feeling and it disappeared when I was finished with her makeover.

I wanted to feel that excitement again, it was somewhat addicting.

As Yu Yingyi started walking out the door, I wanted to tell her to stay, to keep my company, to allow me to experience the feeling of being free.

To experience the feeling of love.

However, when I tried to reach out to her and say it, the words were suddenly stuck in my throat. Cold chains wrapped around my throat and my body, I could tell my mother was the one who had me bound in her grasp.

'What do you think you're doing? You must focus on your studies, become special! That's all you should focus on!'

The voice of my mother entered my mind, however, I wanted the feeling of freedom again.

In the end, I was only able to kiss her on the cheek due to my desperateness of wanting to see her again.

But I knew she wouldn't come back.

After all, I'm bound to be stuck inside this colorless cage, alone.

I could only hide my true feelings and put on a face.