Her smile - Part 1

June. The day she moved in was simple, quiet, peacefully and unusually silent. I saw her, blue eyed, brown haired, 12 year old girl, same age as I but something about her made her seem older. At first look her eyes are the brightest feature, her eyes shaped like the moon and shine the lightest blue. But then, she smiles; her eyes somehow become brighter and her whole face starts to glow. I could only imagine how she laughed, from a distance she seemed like a dream I wondered if she looked like this from up close. My curiosity was never satisfied months went by, I went the whole summer without seeing her again.

August. Her parents started mingling with all the neighbors and eventually my parents and hers were closer than any of the others. They came over to our house and we went over to theirs, but not once did I see her. I soon learned her parents were divorced and she went back and forth between her moms house and her dads.

December. The second time I saw her she was outside with her step dad building a new basketball net that she had gotten for Christmas. She looked so excited while she passed her step dad tools and held some parts in place while he tightened the screws. Soon the net was set up and almost every day she was outside paying basketball.

April. One day she came out with a friend, we were now 13 and she had grown into her beauty, her hair has become lighter and longer than it used to be. Her friend was just as beautiful, stunning curly hair and better curves. After 10 minutes of watching them play I decided to join them. I walked over and introduced myself, they were overly accepting. I had now learned her name, Harper, she seemed to glow more in person but I still haven't heard her laugh. Her friend was more flirty and she giggled at everything I said. Harper didn't seem to notice and went along as if this was how her friend always acted. We played for about 30 minutes several other neighbors our age joined in. We played until the sun set and the streetlights came on, saying a goodbye to all the neighbors I went back home. This continued everyday after school on weekdays and all day during weekends.

June. I learned that Harper loved to smile and laugh, she was actually funny unlike most girls I've met. She started warming up to us and the first time I heard her laugh she had laughed at one of her own jokes. Her laugh was a contagious one that made everyone who heard smile too. I went home everyday smiling because of her.

November. Soon we were all 14 and I had started dating, I dated a few girls over the next few months and I noticed that with every girl I dated none of them were as bright as her. We all drifted apart a little, we went outside only a few times a week now and talked little. But still every time I saw Harper she was smiling.

May. One day she came outside and she glowed less, I hadn't seen her smile at all that day. The same followed with the next day and then the next, soon she became angry and we got into a fight. I was picking on her as I usually did, we were playing ball tag which is just tag but with a ball and I kept tagging her. But one time she got me, finally she smile. No one had ever gotten me and it made me a little upset that it took that long for her to smile. I picked up the ball and threw it as hard as I could, it hit her head and she fell into the road. I ran up to her and saw she had blood on her face, knees, hands. That was the first time I had seen her cry, her eyes became darker and her glow was gone. She then stood up and ran home and within a few minutes so did everyone else.

June. I hadn't seen Harper since may when I hit her in the head. I missed her smile, I missed her laugh. No matter how hard I tried to find it, I never found anyone even close. On a very hot Wednesday evening she came outside. She seemed happy but her smile was different. When she smiled her eyes didn't get brighter they stayed the same, her laugh sounded rehearsed and her glow seemed forced. That day I heard her say goodbye and it felt different, we all went inside and that was the last time I ever saw her.

November. It was my birthday and usually Harper would text me happy birthday but the text never came. Then a week went by and I finally got a notification from her, but as I read it my heart dropped, the whole world seemed to stop spinning. 'Hello, this is Harper's mom and I regret to tell you that Harper died in her sleep a week ago.' All I could remember was her smile, how could she die, she seemed perfectly healthy. I overheard my parents talking that night 'I think she said the doctors think it was from past head trauma or a deep depressive state. But her mother said that Harper was definitely not depressed so it must've been a head injury that they didn't know about.' This made me die inside, it's my fault, I hit her head with that ball and she fell and hit it on the concrete. No. No. This can't be happening. "I loved her!" It was only when I heard my parents consoling me is when I realized I had fallen down the steps and actually said those words out loud. I couldn't get ahold of myself, I killed her. I killed her smile.