My smile - Part 2
June. On the day I moved in it was a new beginning, I had seen this little boy looking out his window, blonde shaggy hair and curious eyes. I smiled at him and he looked in a daze so I just kept unpacking.
August. My parents had just finalized their divorce and my mom bought this new house in this small cute neighborhood. There's this boy that lives across the street he was maddeningly handsome with his blonde hair and blue eyes. Whenever I saw him it was like a flash, BOOM, then he was gone. My mom started making friends with all the neighbors but her favorite neighbors were that cute boys parents. They came over a lot but whenever they did I was at my dads.
December. My mom had been dating this dude for like a year and they had just got engaged on Christmas. He bought me a new basketball net which was the only thing I asked for. I went outside and helped him set it up, I was so excited that when we finally finished setting it up we played for hours! I made a early New Years resolution to go out everyday and play a little.
April. I had invited my friend gracie to have a sleepover so we could work online science project. We didn't want to work on the science project so I suggested we went and played some b-ball. We went out and after 10 minutes that cute boy came to join us. Other than his golden locks and his ocean eyes there was nothing to him. He never smiled he just silently observed and joined in on some friendly banter but his facial expression was nothing but hard. I had learned his name was Sam and I could tell gracie liked him, I mean how could she not I thought he was cute too. But with her as my competitor I'd quit before the race even begun she has the most beautiful looks I've ever seen. I just chose not to pay attention to her flirting because she flirted with everyone anyways.
June. As the months went on I learned that his expression softened every time I smiled, that he tended to listen more intently when I laughed. So I did. Often. The first time I heard his laugh it sounded like a symphony, all the harmonies connect creating a moment so lovely you couldn't help but stop and stare. And to make it better, he laughed at one of my jokes, MY JOKES! That was one of the best days of my life.
November. It had been a while since I last talked to Sam and my other friends. Everyone was drifting apart, and on top of that school is starting to stress me out more and more, I've lost all of my school friends and no one likes me anymore. On Sams birthday I sent him a text and he didn't respond for 3 days. I look at his profile only to see he spent the day with his girlfriend. Am I not good enough? What about ur laugh, what about your smile? What about my smile?
May. Sam had been becoming rude to me more often, insulting me when we were playing outside and ignoring me when I wasn't. When we were outside I tried to smile but he didn't change his hard expression when I did, he didn't listen when I started to laugh. No one did. One day we were playing ball tag and I had been so angry that the whole day every one targeted me and no one had even tried to tag Sam. So I did and when I did I smiled, a genuine smile, he stopped. He seemed to zone out for a millisecond and then he picked up the ball, he looked angry. I tried running but the ball slammed into my face. That was the beginning of the end.
June. I became more depressed and more suicidal, its so bad I get closer and closer to committing every single day. I went outside to say my last goodbye to Sam, I forced my best smile and practiced my most contentious laugh, it was convincing enough. But when I said goodbye I knew it was the end, truly the end of my smile.
November. My depression got so bad I barely ate, every day I zoned out more and more, daydreaming about a better life, a happier one. One day I woke up and I was looking at myself in my bed, I appeared to be asleep but it didn't look like it. I looked pale and my chest wasn't rising and falling the way it usually does. I was dead. I watched my mom find my dean body and I watched her sob, I sobbed with her. A little while passed after I died and I figured I would visit sam before I was buried. I found him eavesdropping on his parents talking about how I died. 'I think she said the doctors think it was from past head trauma or a deep depressive state. But her mother said that Harper was definitely not depressed so it must've been a head injury that they didn't know about.' Heh if only they knew and then I heard loud thumps followed with Sam saying "I loved her!" Shock! I think I went into shock as I heard him also saying "I killed her" no he didn't I was just depressed but they didn't know that. He probably thought it was from him hitting me with that ball, it couldn't be that, could it? "I killed her" Sam said again "I killed her smile." Did he kill my smile?