Choose me

Lowell

I watch them embrace and anger is all I feel.

What was I thinking by following him?

I knew he was going to meet her. Ashina made it obvious before she left. I don't know what she is up to, but she knows that I am interested in him.

My sister is the only family I have, and even though we don't have a relationship anymore, I do what I can for her. I might be a selfish motherfucker, but everything she has is all thanks to me.

Colin is mine.

Why the fuck is she messing with him?

I am behind a tree, spying on them, and I am even more confused than I was when I came here. Colin is mine, but why do I actually think that?

Because he is yours.

My wolf tells me.

I take a deep breath as I try to think of the rationale behind this. Okay, I know that I lost my mate. She is dead, but is there a possibility that I could have another? I have been around a lot. I've had flings with both guys and girls, but for the first time, it feels different. This is different and I know it. I also know that it is for him. This thing between us was never about sex.

Why am I possessive of him when it seems like he might clearly belong to someone else? I just don't know why it had to fall on Ashina.

It makes no sense.

I leave because I can't stand watching him with her. I don't know why he would do this without letting me know. I might not be of any importance to him anymore since he seems to be enjoying this embrace, but he was in MY bed last night. He was in my arms. The least he could have done was be upfront about this with me.

I walk back to the dinner and Griffin looks up at me. "Back so soon?'' he holds a knowing smirk.

I am beyond pissed right now. "He was with her. Fuck I think they are mates," I exclaim. Saying the words out loud even hurts more than just thinking them.

"Who, Ashy?"

I nod as I cover my face with my hands.

"Dude, you fucked her mate."

I frown.

I don't even want to think about it like that.

"Why does it feel like he belongs to me if he is hers?"

He nods, "You got to let it go, dude. You can't fight for what isn't yours." He has already accepted defeat, but I don't want to.

"What if I can't? "

He raises his brow. "Because you don't want to or because you feel something for this boy?"

I shrug.

I can't show weakness now in front of him. Col is making me do things that I normally don't do around people. I might tell Griff everything, but I don't show fear or hurt. Right now, he is watching me as if he can sense it, and I don't like that part of me out in the open.

"No, I don't. It's just weird, man."

He nods, "Yeah, how will you explain to your sister that you have been inside the man and the fact that now you might have to see him all the fucking time?"

It almost seems like he is rubbing it in, and that is so annoying. I stood up from the chair and walked back to the room they gave me. Once the doors are closed, I run my hands through my hair in frustration at the dilemma I have put myself in.

How do I let him go?

I don't want to, but I know that Col isn't going to choose me over his mate. It makes no sense, but I want him to. Things between us have gone so far. Maybe it can work. I don't know what I am thinking but I want it to. I want him to fucking choose me and that scares the shit out of me.

I don't know how long I sit in the dark, hours pass by, I don't know how long I think about everything until I hear the knock on my door.

His scent fills my nostrils instantly, and my wolf wakes up immediately, the joy and eagerness pouring out of me instantly.

I stand up from the bed and walk over to the door to open it and step aside to let him in. I watch him as he takes slow steps into the room, avoiding my eyes.

"Hi,'' I manage.

I already know why he is here, but I don't even want to believe it. He couldn't have left her to come and end things with me.

Right?

"Hi,'' he walks over to the edge of the bed and I watch him as he looks at me. He is wearing the same clothes he was wearing earlier.

"Just say it," I tell him.

I need him to get to the point.

"We have to stop what we are doing."

I nod.

"What are we doing?"

He sighs slowly, standing up and walking over to me. My heart thuds erratically in my chest because I know that this is the end and I don't want it to end. I don't want him to leave me. What the fuck is wrong with me.

"You know what we're doing, Lo? You know that I am not really yours."

"You are mine, Col,'' I deadpan with a pang of hurt.

His eyes open and I see a flash of pain pass over them. "I found my mate." He breathes out the words and it feels like a knife to my gut.

He just used his words to rip my heart out of my chest. He doesn't know how much this has affected me, and I don't think it is a good idea to even let him know.

"You know, that is not true. We have known since we started this and I don't think we should anymore."

I move closer until he is so close to me and there is no way to escape. My hands pull him by his waist and he trembles against my touch "I can't stop.''

At this point, I am the one begging him to choose me.

I am so desperate.