74 | Gentle Head Trauma

1:21pm

: someone entertain me

: i'm bored

: i don't remember you being made queen of the court

: be quiet and dance for me, court jester

: fuck you i am not the court jester

: yeah you're right you're not even good enough

: rude

: i can totally be a court jester

: what is...

: what is going on

: well i now know what i'm getting alex for her birthday

: if you get me jester shoes with the little bells on them i will make sure your body is never found

: ... i thought you wanted to be a court jester!!!

: no i don't want to be a court jester

: i'm just making it a point that I'm good enough at it for it to be considered an alternative career pathway

: what the fuck

: end of conversation

: okay fine, swiftly moving on

: how's the baby-making going, danvers?

: that sounds weird

: uhh yes never say that again please

: we've had three weeks of the treatment lena and brainy figured out sooo we're just waiting

: god i can't wait to teach this kid fire-breathing

: i feel like i should be opposed to this idea...

: but i'm not

: not until they're at least three

: three????

: a bit early don't you think?????

: okay yeah maybe four

: ?????? what

: my mom taught me at the age of five

: great party trick

: sam and lena can attest to that

: she did it during a high school prom once

: the chandelier caught fire

: oh please those other bitches had never seen such a grand spectacle in their boring-ass lives

: i gotta say i'm intrigued by what your yearbook photos look like

: would you all like to see alex's

: she was still on the tail-end of her punk phase when she graduated

: kara no

: kara yes

: oh definitely kara yes

: i shall locate it

: give the masses what they want!!

: update: alex threw my phone off the balcony

: i have stolen lena's

: uh oh alex has also thrown lena's phone off the deo balcony

: oh no kara is looking at me

: update: i have stolen lucy's phone

: uh guys, three phones have just fallen from the heavens and one has hit winn

: oh god he's unconscious on the pavement

: oops

: nooo don't die winn, you're too sexy

: i am perched on the building across the deo

: is that supergirl bridal carrying james who is bridal carrying winn

: a double bridal carry if you will

: honestly winn could have just not stood in that spot where i chucked the phones over

: rookie mistake

: for the record i'm kidding oh god i hope he's not dead

3:36pm

: rUDE

: i get clocked by a falling phone and somehow it's MY fault????

: my phone is so craksedka

: i thnk a few rpeortesrs got a few pictres of the incidnttt

: and of me carysing both of you

: well i may be strong but dude i'm not going to run up fifty flights of stairs with him

: i have a feeling you would have dropped me

: i would not have dropped you!!

: and sent my limp body barrel rolling down the stairs and probably taking out several agents in the process

: do you... do you want to be rolled down the stairs????

: maybe

: i think the phone hit him a little too hard on the head

: i'm just saying there's no other feeling than your bones cracking

: what the actual fuck

: do i have to handcuff you to the bed

: sleep it off

: he's mumbling deliriously now uhh

: okay now we're cuddling

: thank god he's not escaped yet

: oh that's because i've handcuffed him to you

: so if one goes down so does the other sorry

: thought it'd raise the stakes a little

: make it more exciting

: this is exactly the entertainment i signed up for thank you for being hit on the head, winn

~~~A/N

I— I don't actually know what on earth I just wrote...

As promised, 75 is a chapter! Only 4k this time lol.