Going To The Gym.

Hugo stumbled out of his last class like he'd been through a battlefield. He was barely holding onto his bag as if it weighed a hundred pounds.

His hair looked like it had gone through a blender, his shirt was half-tucked, and his eyes had that haunted glaze of someone who had survived far too many pop quizzes.

It seemed to scream; Please, no more!

His brain felt fried. He couldn't remember the last time he'd had a single clear thought.

Today had been the busiest day of his life. Whoever said college was no different from high school needed to be smashed in the nuts with a stiletto.

His notebook was a mess of half-scribbled notes, random doodles, and coffee stains.

After hours of non-stop lectures, his head was filled with a blur of formulas, diagrams, and that one professor's endless drone about ancient history.

Class after class, assignment after assignment—it was as if the professors were on a mission to break his spirit!

But he'd managed to get everything. He had scanned all the missed notes, copied all the missed assignments, even took pictures of the diagrams he hadn't understood.

But at what cost? His brain was mush.

Dragging himself toward the dorm, Hugo perked up a bit. The only thing keeping him upright was the glorious thought of his precious "Muscle Unlock Pills."

Today was the D-Day.

'Alright, it's time to hit the gym and stop looking like a pencil with limbs. I'm going to be shredded!' He thought.

Reaching into his bag, he pulled out a tiny pill bottle labeled "Muscle Unlock Pills." He grinned. One step closer to becoming a shredded beast!

If this pill worked just as miraculously as the plate unlock pills had worked, he couldn't wait to see himself in the next week!

On his way, he entertained himself with a few wild ideas. 'What if there are even better pills out there?' he thought, already grinning.

He'd be a frigging Greek god!

'Brain Unlock Pills? I'd ace every test! Courage Unlock Pills? I'd finally talk to girls without stammering! Or maybe…' He smirked to himself.

'The All-Around Handsome Guy Pill…' His mind started drifting into a fantasy of being the talk of campus, but he snapped out of it just as he reached his dorm room.

'Focus, Hugo. Buff Hugo first, then the ladies.'

He swung open the door to his dorm and froze, gaping in disbelief.

Collins, his ever-dramatic, ever-absurd roommate, was in the middle of what could only be described as "acrobatic insanity."

He was on the floor with a tall, ridiculously fit yoga instructor with long, golden hair and curves that could make a statue blush.

She was in one of those tight, sporty outfits that left little to the imagination. But it wasn't the instructor that had Hugo's jaw practically on the floor; it was the position they were in...

They were locked in an intimate yoga position that looked half exercise, half Cirque du Soleil, and 100% more up close and personal than anything Hugo had seen outside of romance novels.

Collins was basically wrapped around her in what looked like a very… intimate pretzel.

Collins spotted Hugo in the doorway and, without missing a beat, gave him a cocky wink. "Hey, Hugo! Just doing a bit of… 'deep stretching.' Gotta stay limber, you know?"

Before Hugo could even react, Collins shifted slightly, revealing a flash of bright, hot-pink fabric where no pink fabric should ever be.

Hugo's eyes widened as he realized—Collins was wearing THE pink thong.

'Nope. Nope, nope, nope.' Hugo felt his soul leave his body for a second. He backed up, closing the door in slow horror, and leaned against the hallway wall.

'Did I really just see that?' He shook his head, trying to scrub the image from his mind. 'It's like a bad dream. Just… focus on getting those gains, Hugo. Gains, not trauma.'

Once he felt like he'd mentally recovered (or at least pushed the image deep, deep down), Hugo took a deep breath and cracked the door open just a bit to check if the coast was clear.

He heard Collins laughing and the instructor giggling, so he peeked around the corner, hoping they hadn't escalated into something worse.

Collins shifted again, and—yep, there it was, the pink thong. Hugo's sanity crumbled a little more.

'Pull it together!' He cleared his throat, mumbled an apology, and charged into his room with all the grace of someone fleeing a haunted house.

Once inside, he hurriedly grabbed a change of clothes and went to his bathroom to get dressed. He stood in front of the mirror, determined.

Today was the start of his transformation. Scrawny Hugo would soon be history. He popped open the bottle of Muscle Unlock Pills, holding one like it was some holy relic. Goodbye, skinny kid. Hello, Muscle Hugo.

'I'll take it once I get to the gym,' he decided.

Just as he was about to leave for the gym, though, inspiration hit him like lightning. His eyes widened.

'Wait a second—I know how to pull this off!' He bolted back into the dorm, grinning from ear to ear, eager to test his idea—

But the sight that greeted him was even worse than before.

Collins and the yoga instructor had somehow tangled themselves into an even more impossible pose, practically face-to-face, noses almost touching, laughing like they were in their own little world.

And yes, as Collins shifted again, that horrible flash of hot-pink fabric made a reappearance.

Hugo's whole brain seemed to scream, Abort mission! He spun around, hand over his eyes, and muttered, "Nope. Not going in there. Not today."

He turned on his heel and marched down the hall, clutching the bottle of Muscle Unlock Pills inside his pocket.

His influencer plans had been officially derailed, but at least he was still committed to getting buff. After all, he thought, sighing, 'It's not my fault if I end up with a roommate scar for life.'