Awesome Cage Match

I CAME TO PLAY! 

The Miz walks out holding the US Championship to a loud sound of boos.

The1 Boos keep on raining until Miz puts on the mic.

Miz: It seems like no one here is good enough to beat me. Which is why tonight, inside this big ass cage, I'm hosting an open challenge! (Crowd cheer) That's right! Come fight the A-Lister.

Soon enough, the Mortal Kombat theme blares as Johnny Cage arrives, much to the praise of the crowd2.

Miz: Hey! SHUT UP! WHEN MY HAND GOES UP, YOUR MOUTH GOES SHUT!

Cage: SHUT IT LOSER!

The crowd erupts in loud chairs.

Miz: Now look who we have here. Guess the box office isn't providing you with as much as you thought huh? 

Cage: I go where I wanna go Miz. You and your bargain bin movies can screw off!

CHEERS!

Miz: Really then? Then how'd Sonya work out?3

The crowd all sounds extremely shocked.

Cage: How'd Sonya work out? Bout as well as this title reign Miz.

CHEERS!

Cage: It's clear to see, the way the crowd is cheering a guy like me, that you're stale Miz. You're one of the people that single-handedly made people feel that this business is fake! So wishy-washy. So fake. How can you be the "A-Lister", when all your movies are second-rate?

CHEERS!

Cage: The difference between us is simple. You rely on Camera work and special effects, Truth is… I am the special effects. 

STILL SO MANY CHEERS! THE SOLD-OUT CROWD IN MSG IS EATING THIS UP! 

Miz waits for the cheering to simmer down, before answering him back.

Miz: Really Cage? Then let me tell you the difference between us. Me? (Flashes belt) I'm a champion! Not just any champion, a GRAND SLAM CHAMPION! (He pauses)4 And you? You're a failed actor. Johnny, I don't just go around stealing roles from more deserving actors, stumbling into the wrong universe, and looking for more cash to grab. You think you're some hotshot Hollywood hero, strutting around with your shades and your smug grin like you own the place. Well, let me tell you something, buddy. You may be able to throw a punch or two in that pixelated playground you call a tournament, but when you step into MY ring, you're entering a whole new world of hurt. Newsflash, pal, this ain't no movie set. This is the real deal, and in the real world, and just like how your Ex-Wife and anyone else sees you, you're nothing but a punching bag waiting to get knocked out. You're nothing but a has-been, living off the faded glory of your past victories. This is why if you accept that open challenge, I'm gonna show you just how mortal you really are. You know why? BECAUSE I'M AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWESOME!

The crowd says AWESOME alongside Miz.5

Cage: You know what? That goofy open challenge? Accepted.

FIGHT!

Cage immediately punches his jaw so hard,6 it does a classic Mortal Kombat x-ray. He then force palms him into the ropes, where he tangles himself. He spins around in the mess a bit and lands flat on his ass, untangled.

Miz: Hey! Tch...At least let me take off my robe!

He does so, then dodges a quick sidekick from Cage, before delivering a blow back.

Cage staggers back, before the two go in for a grapple and Cage headbutts him and delivers a reverse Hurricanrana, which launches Miz to the ropes at top speed. Miz bounces between the left and right sides of the ring at high speeds, causing Cage to jump over him and lay flat on the ground to dodge him the second time. When Miz's body comes around a third time, he delivers a green-infused uppercut, causing another X-ray scene in which Miz's jaw is decimated. This also sends him to the top of the cage, before having him slowly fall. As Johnny is taunting, Miz delivers a Reality Check swinging DDT to him MIDAIR, 7before quickly going for a pin. 

1... 

2... 

A mirrage clone grabs Miz and throws him,8 having him roll across the ground, when Miz stands up and regains composure he receives 2 shadow superkicks to the face from Cage's clones. Miz tries to fight them off, but the two dominate him in hand to hand, dodging his feeble punches and basically delivering a combo between them.

We zoom out to Cage's point of view, in which he has two fingers in an L shape aiming at Miz camera style. 

Cage: Smile for the camera, jackass!

In that same position, he shoots a forceball at Miz, who instinctively shays away. The blast of energy quickly approaches him...

But it's deflected! With Break dancing?9

A hooded figure removes his jacket! It was John Morrison!10

The clones grab at his limbs, but he punches them both to the ropes as they stagger in front. He then clotheslines both of them over the ropes, giving Miz a reassuring nod. They both bounce off the other ropes and do a double suicide dive!11

Miz re-enters the ring but is met with an angry Cage.

Cage: Not even good enough for a one v one? Guess it's just Miz and his tiny balls! 

Miz: My BALLS ARE MASSIVE!

Cage: I'm gonna punch you in your fucking tiny balls Miz!

Miz: How many times do I- Wait, wha...?

Cage performs the ball buster. 12The impact leaves Miz mostly lifeless. Leaving Cage to go in for the Pin.

1…

2...

THE MIZTOURAGE ARRIVE!13

Bo Dallas drags Cage and delivers a club to his chest alongside Curtis Axel.

Cage: Argh, I could have sworn this was a Cage match! 

The two bombastic bodyguards look back out at Miz, still recovering from his blow.

Miz: Well? After him!

Cage takes on Dallas, blocking a punch and delivering a force palm. He then blitzes him with a variety of punches and kicks, leaving him to his knees. He grabs his shirt, but before he can deliver a knockout blow, he just lets go of him.

Cage: You guys are a bit Mismatched here!

He then ducks under a clothesline from Axel, delivering a signature eye-popper to him, sending his eyes flying up,14 before flying back unto his face and Cage kicks him in the back of the head, sending him to the turnbuckle. 

Cage turns around to a big boot from Miz, sending him crashing down.

Miz: I'll show you mismatched!

Miz delivers a leg drop as he says that, rising up with his arms up, soaking in the boos.15 

But Cage rolls away, as His stunt double rolls into the ring?

Cage: How did you even get in here?

He shrugs and helps push Cage away,16 lying in the exact same position. The ref sees this, but Miz doesn't, as he delivers a powerbomb pin combination, which the ref doesn't count. This is shocking to Miz, who gets all in his face and argues with him for a bit, before angrily turning around and is met with a palm strike, leaving him dizzy.

Cage: Showtime!

After the strike, he is shadow-kicked in the chest, then the chin. He then delivers a butterfly kick and the frontflip kicks him in the back of the head. This sends Miz straight to the floor as if he were spiked.17

Then, he reveals an award, titled "Most Outstanding Actor" and swings it at Miz's head.

Cage: get caged!

But it's stopped, as a hand grabs it, to the boos of the crowd.

MARYSE!18

Cage: Where DO YOU FUCKERS COME FROM?

Maryse: Language, Bastard!

Maryse slaps him in the face and gestures for Morrison, who rushes in with a quick yes kick,19 spinning Cage around in the air.

As that happens, Maryse kisses Miz, re-vitalizing him. 

Miz: I'm glad to see you!

Maryse: I know. Now, finish him!

She points at the dizzy Cage.

Miz does a rolling code red on Miz stunning him further, before delivering a skull-crushing finale, which is replayed three times for effect. 20

The impact reduces Cage's head to giblets. Miz laughs and pins his lifeless body as the crowd counts along.

1…

2…21

3!!

MIZ RETAINS!

The crowd horrifically boos as Miz grabs his belt out of the ref's hands forcefully as Samantha Irvin does her thing.

Samantha: And the winner of the match, and STILL the United States Champion, the A-Lister, the Record Breaker, THEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIZ!22

The rest of his crew stands behind him as he raises it up to the millions of dollars worth of Pyro in the background. 

The A-Lister has done it again.