Sobber Up

🥀Happy reading peeps🌹

               Jake's P.O.V

We arrived at the house and had to take care of Jade, Dee made sure to wipe him because we couldn't start washing him at that time. He was asleep and forcing him to take a shower was going to be another fight. She gently laid the baby and powdered him up before helping him put diaper. All this time Dee had not said a single word or said anything to me. She was silent doing all things on her own and if I was to help she would pick things, not even looking at me. I decided to give her some space and went to take a shower. I knew we were now safe and had nothing to fear. Dominic and Claire are expected to come home in four days. So things might be a little easier for her. She has done her best. Taking care of their child, she never complained about anything. She would go the extra mile to do anything for the baby. We all know that. 

Walking into the washroom, I did my routine and waited for her to come to bed because she was supposed to have completed doing anything to Jade. Sitting on the bed, I wondered why she would behave that way. I didn't know if it was because I had once again let her down and let people kidnap her? I can say I least expected that and Dominic will have a lot of questions to answer about that. He is the one who said Gerald is to be trusted. I couldn't come up with an idea as to why Dee was not talking to me. 

Then I remembered the conversation that Gerald had with me, I didn't want to believe that, I felt anger build up in the pit of my stomach and a big ball stuck in my throat. "Did he assault her?" This question kept running in my mind and every minute I kept pushing it away, it couldn't be. I didn't want to see the laugh and the sinister laugh that Gerald had on his face after achieving what he wanted. 

Still, Dee had not come from Jade's room. I had to go check for her because I was now worried about her behaviour. She can tell me that something happened to her, and I am sure we can figure things out. Wait, whom am I kidding?, Assault is something that a person can't keep off their mind. The day Cain almost killed her when he tried to get in her pants did take a toll on her and she almost lost herself because of that. I don't want that to happen to her. I want to make sure that she is doing very okay and that didn't happen.

Then like a flash, the image of her in bed with Gerald popped into my mind and I couldn't take it anymore, I jumped off the bed throwing everything down. Pushing everything deep down, I don't want this to be true, let it just be a word but not the truth, it will kill me. I love her but at the same time, I don't want this to be true. 

Pacing the room up and down, I looked at myself in the mirror, my veins were popping out like someone who wants to take a shit, and my red eyes were like a vampire's ready to bite someone for blood to survive another round before the blood moon. 

"Fuck!" I cursed, I hadn't even confirmed what was thinking was true. Look at me, it's like I know what happened is true and it's killing me. Gerald was right, after that episode, most men move on with their life. How can I move on with my life knowing very well that I am the one who did that to her? I am the one who left her there, I knew she was safe and now all this came to be. 

Still staring at the mirror, the door opened and Dee walked in, she didn't even look in my direction, her eyes were on the bathroom.  I watched her ignore me and go to the washroom. Inside there it's like she took the whole year, the shower was running. I could just imagine how she was busy stunning the hands of that filthy man off her body while crying. Maybe the shower had muffled her cries but I couldn't bring myself to go in there and see yet. She needed privacy for herself. Take care of herself. Every second I stood at that door waiting for her to come out, is the more I was tempted to go in there and look at her body for any signs of that asshole or even his perfume on her body. When we escaped from him, I was just thinking about Dee and Jade, I wanted her to be safe, but right now, I feel threatened. What if she found Gerald to be more good than I am? What if she gets pregnant because she was forced to do something she didn't want? All those stupid ideas were running in my head. 

Suddenly she was out of the bathroom and had put on her pyjamas. Wait when did she begin wearing pyjamas? She has never even worn them! She is always in big t-shirts and my boxers. Not today. She was in her pj's. Black. That will absorb a lot of heat while she is sleeping. I don't want it on her. 

I wanted to lift my mouth to talk but she beat me at it. 

"I will be sleeping in Jade's room today, I don't think he is okay, he might scream in the middle of the night."

She didn't even look at me, she just faced the door while telling me all that. I thought she was going to even look at me. I wanted to ask her what happened at the club? Where were they taken from the apartment but I couldn't? She was already out of the room. 

Maybe she is going through a lot. Maybe she is in pain and I am here just acting like a jerk thing how she might have enjoyed the sex. She never enjoys that shit if it's somebody else. Maybe I am wrong. She might have loved it with Gerald, though she wouldn't behave this way if she enjoyed it. She could pretend and say that she is fine but deep down she has cheated me with that stupid ass. I couldn't sleep, my head kept on spinning thinking of all those incidents.

My legs started leading me to the baby's room. At the door, I heard some sniffing and I knew that she was crying. Something happened very big, she might have just gone through what I thought. I quickly barged into the room and found her on the bed that was placed in place for emergencies. 

She was shocked when she saw me. "Please don't come closer, don't want you to see me, this pathetic, that man touched me while I was with Jade."

I didn't want to cause chaos inside the room because Jade will wake up and start shouting. I just walked out of the room and went to the living room. I couldn't bear to see her this way. I couldn't bear to touch her body. I didn't know if she wanted me there. I didn't feel any of these when I realised Dorcas was cheating on me and wanted to recruit me into some type of cult. To m,e it was just any kind of relationship and it didn't matter whether she was cheating it or not.

With Dee, things are different. I feel a knife being pierced into my chest, twisted in every manner and there is nothing I can do about that. I feel breathless, as I struggle to breathe. Why can't some people just let her be? Was he lusting over that much? He has messed with her now. 

I walked to the alcohol cabinet and picked a bottle from it. I wanted something strong. Something to help me forget what she has just told me. How can I forget about that? How would I look at her tomorrow, but look at me all acting like a jerk, my hands shook as I picked the drink?. I poured it into my glass and sat by the counter gulping glass after glass, I wanted to be drunk, I wanted to finish the whole bottle without thinking about anything. 

Drunk enough, I was now feeling energized, I was now ready to face Dee. I climbed and walked to Jade's room. She was suddenly awake from her sleep when she heard the door open. I could see her swollen eyes. I lifted my hands to touch her but she turned other the away.

"You are stinking of alcohol Jake, what is your problem? You can't bear to see me this way? You couldn't come toe touch me because you felt like I still had Gerald's perfume in my body? Must you take alcohol before you move and pretend to be good? I didn't want any of these! Please leave!

She was angry at me now? I wanted to confirm that she was okay, I wanted to show her some love. I want to be there even at her worse. 

"People don't show love when they are drunk. They man up and face you when they are sober to solve all the problems. Look at you, you have drunk too much, I bet you don't even see my eyes, just get out I want to sleep. This is all messed up."

She threw me out and closed the door in my face. 

Maybe she was right, but the alcohol in my mind was trying to act like shit because I was not happy even a bit. By twenty minutes it had worn off, which type of brand is this?

I was back in my chair, resolved to coffee, trying to collect my mind together. Which mind was I even collecting together? She is in pain and I am here acting like a jerk, I am here using alcohol as the shield pretending to be saving her but at the same time, I am pushing her away. I gulped the last drink and decided to tackle this like a man. She needed to tell me what happened and how it happens. I kissed my teeth and changed my clothes. Trying the door handle, it was locked.

I was knocking on the door but Dee was not opening.

I am sorry, I acted like a jerk, I don't know how to take this Dee, I don't know shit that Gerald did to you but that doesn't mean that I love you less. I know you could do anything to save the baby from any harm. I know that you think, that going through that will make me leave you for another person. Trust me, no one will ever replace you in my life. You will always remain in my heart, even if you are not here everything I keep thinking about keeps putting you in my plans. I want to make sure that you are okay, I don't care what he did, I know you will overcome everything, please open the door. 

I didn't hear any movement, the door was still untouched, and I didn't give up. I stood by the door waiting for her to open the door for me. I heard some silent sobbing and I knew she was still crying.

"Are you still drunk? Cause you should go if you are. Just cover up we can go in the morning."

No hun, I sobered up, remember you bought some barley alcohol for yourself and turns out I took it thinking it's my hard stuff but it didn't last long in my blood, I am here now, I swear, I have even changed my clothes.

The door opened and she stood by the door looking at me. I hated those swollen eyes and didn't want to see her like that. She was supposed to be happy in her life but turns out things are taking turns day in, day out.

                  "You are not mad?"

I didn't answer that, I opened my arms to let her in.  She immediately jumped into it and clung to my body so tightly as she needed it yesterday. Better late than never. She is here, not talking just clinging to my body making it warm and warmer. 

Are you sure you are going to sleep in these black clothes? The PJs were dark and I bet she will be hot by the time she is turning herself over to face the other side of the bed.

         "I will try to, there is a  first time in everything you know."

I forgot she used to wear her pj's before we met. I didn't say anything further, I just want her in my bed and not to escape to Jade's room. Jade can do well on his own today. No one will pick him up from his room, the security is tight and the locks were changed and the cameras are everywhere.

She agreed to follow me to bed. She later changed into my big t-shirt and I welcomed her into bed. 

I know you don't want to speak about it but I will be glad if you tell me what happened today hun, I don't want us waking tomorrow to try and solve these issues. Just like we agreed. If something happens we do it today and go on with our lives.

She sat on the bed facing me, I placed my hands in hers and encouraged her to talk to me. If she doesn't then she will be haunted further. 

"It was in the apartment. Jade and I were playing when I was done with my work. Gerald kept insisting on the flash and asking me where you might be keeping it. I told him that I knew nothing about the flash. He grabbed Jade out of my hands and threatened to throw him down and break him if he doesn't get the answer he is looking for. It was hard to know where the flash was at. So I told him that there were two flash and one was given to the biker guys and the other one Claire and Dominic escaped with it. He got angry and placed the baby down. Jade run to me and I wanted to run from Gerald but he grabbed my hands putting me down. He said he was not going to make me look at him the same way I do. Talking to me, his hands were deep into my thighs, I was crying and at the same time, Jade was also crying, he didn't want to be there. I struggled, Jake, but he couldn't. He tried to pull my breast out but luckily Jade bit his arms off and he stood from me. He didn't do anything further if you were worried that he did. Maybe Jade just turned him off and he decided to kidnap me and Jade to make you get him a flash." 

Phew! I was relieved though I was still mad that she was touched in a way she didn't want. I assured her that everything will be okay and she doesn't need to fear anything. She nodded and placed her head on my chest.  Next time remind me not to overthink.

Yeah, you who are busy laughing at me because I was almost running mad because of weird thoughts. I was just paranoid.