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Rambling and Random bullshittery

This be your most daring story; A rambling if you must, Of language most foul, of unexplored ways to curse. Of bullshit in every turn, in every twist, in every twists of tongues. As told by thine ol'hands and masterminded by the crude tongue, with all my tics and antics. Do-told tale of a vegetable who limbs and stumbled on a new realm of where creation was pierced in it's boundaries. Of a connoisseur who learns of ways of an unshackled breathing body, the occasional doggie styles and the utmost high of all forms of unequaled shag-getry, wooing tarts and thots and hoes, all manners of terms modern and old to name all wenches of all- the ripened titties; "Thine taste ranges from nymphs of florescent pure to flooded lips which hangs and are forgivably bonk-able with a passing thought riled up by the hard down under, Which in short means all!" Heinously wholesome in ways of the vile tongue which grew most crude, terribly heinous with every breaths more lived- after to after and then more, much much more. A rambling- to what he sees, to what he does. This is a story of a living, in a world of pixels; of new universe where a man could swim in lava, a world where such and such is deemed mundane. An epic where a naked fledgling dove in the heat of an avian war, baby-steps towards a destiny-, etched in the root webs of two worlds with only a goal; To be the Pirate Ki- nevermind! To live most free. Rejuvenation; maketh man a new being, now what would be his tale when all he knew of living was blinking a set of dead little eyes, what would such a virgin of a human ways do in a surreal world that explodes magics and bullshits. I'll tell ye all! Just listen to the ramble. (Stay with me, I won't ever drop this.) [Warning:] 1. Not for the faint of heart. 1½. Smut will be there but it will be extremely rare. 2. The english dictionary would require a thorough update after I'm done with this epic. 3. Fuckery most heinous most foul. (By decree of a certain fool) 4. Don't tell your mums you learnt (curses) from me. 5. No other warning just enjoy, If ye dares. Cover art not mine, thank you for letting me use it and sorry but pray tell if you ordered it removed. Will use it until I could afford a more authentic cover art or until boss wants it removed.

JF_Fanai · 奇幻
分數不夠
32 Chs

A rambling walk

I took my wee steps further upstream.

Baby-steps, merrily along nature's song, my bare- feet loved the feels of the prickly nature they stepped, "Little pebbles not good, grass tickles…"

"Wet things wets the feet.." I muttered notes, for the mind- to jot it down and keep it safely inerasable.

I hailed from the massacre of Fat-Crocs clean as a whistle, with not even sweats, suns don't get dirty we simply burn the mess away and when I turned into the solarsystem- the rotten stink of saliva at the afro from whence that dumb one did took a greedy bite at me- Well the stank from it simply burned away.

Truthfully twas now not exactly in good terms with water;

But still I took my wee little steps besides the stream's curves and turns with a big fat fucking smile which told any that I was strong… well sometimes, if the random served me right.

That smile I had, cheeky, pompous, throbbing with pride on the cheeks, confident, utterly deviously annoying to any and none could blame me.

I took a peak at the trusty ol faint blue-ish screen accessible simply in sight, maybe just seen and confined in the eyes but it mattered not because the smile- my devious smile curved from back when I slayed the crocs and it only did curved more when knowing that I spent like only a day- logged in and I'm already a Herald in Ranks, murdering these mobs that would usually take many days for a starter before they could even stand in these mobs presence alone- and knowing that I was in fact fat fucking strong, in terms of erotics, I knew my down below could bonk through rocks, "Wait! I never scanned the crocs. Fuck it!" I went on my merry way.

The little pouch Kang gave me served much a purpose. Through it comes the twirly-whirly, I stored many items in there, the tech behind this pouch- I called it tech but really it refers to how the pouch works.

What I knew were simple, there are many types of pouches, you could design it to look like any bag or purse you'd want or so I've read, different space limits for different pouches and the likes that you might've already been comfortable with- those spacial goody bags.

The fish-sticks smelled good, now decorated by four green crystals as I took a peak, they were just there in a blue dimension where nothing moves, a refrigerator dimension where what stored aren't chilled but simply stored as is and brought out as was, how it works did really mattered not- and I simply grabbed one stick for the go.

And did I did continue my wee steps.

Not long until I caught sight of the roof of the waiting shed thing I saw when I was flying ye high- the sky, it was peaking red at me behind the covers of some purple leaves and pinks of the tall sunder trees.

"There must've been some whys for their colors.." was what I mumbled on and about the lot, rustling with the winds.

But who cares they're always a nice sight, beautiful.

The shed too; was serene beauty designed.

Getting closer I saw some runic pillars sticking out neatly by the sides of the roof, so neat they rather look like a part of it.

Closer, closer then I saw;

It stood a mighty construct, a top a little lift of land where only it could rule and command the stream of down below, four runic pillars like ones from the Star-fall of Reindale that shot through the roof, they likely were foundations for it.

A quaint little house, simple yet subtly detailed like it was architected by some deity named Bob-The-Builder, "Neat!" as I claimed it was.

It stood in the middle of the stream, in a seat of rocks, it only had a narrow little pathway for folks to leave and in but no hero simply ever take the normal way.

I'm one who always take the high ultra omega highway- meaning I am a ruckus, I want to be a ruckus, ain't no way I'm not being a ruckus, I'm working my bod, everything is awesome for I.

So twas clear, I must ninja-ly climb that rock.

"Stimulate your master!" I commanded my body as I ran in a quick spit.

The shed was right there, so close but I a hero of heroes must run to the water and climb the little lift and on to the shed.

Little thighs contracted the muscles and fwooshed me- ran me to the stream-

I took an ankle deep step in- in the stream.

Then I abruptly stopped, halted completely I did my body as I stumbled and wobbled and fell back, I managed to save my feet from the suffocating touch of water.

"On second thoughts…" I chortled, " Yea.. let's go with the second thought!" I surrendered and resumed my wee steps to the pathway.

I don't know what it was but a feeling from the beating heart, maybe curiosity urged me to go to the place and so I did, in a manner of a proper gentleman, I took the pathway and climbed the little lift.

Some steps, made of wood and coloured lightly with red lead to the shed, same woods were used for the short walls of the shed and a wooden slab for seats lined along the squared walls, it was all red and beauty in it's aesthetics but for these unimpressive pillars.

Nothing was special about it, even when I instantly knew it was one of the places known as Star-falls.

Well there was a signboard that claimed that the little place was a fall.

But something about it seduced the heart for the butt to take a seat and so I did-

"Well I could eat them.." said I to the cores, "I have four of them.." said the smile, it reeked of the stench of some superiority complex it already afflicted.

A little part of my wonder wonders if this was fate or not, everything was just so surreal, just so movie-like, the hero who effortlessly earns all sorts of fuckery to fuck through a plot, thoughts as such I've had already noted them down.

"Whatever.. all good's good!" I told meself, shrugging off any reasoning for all those lucky streaks, that helped me survived till now- and all good is good indeed.

I did not heed any time to wonder how many more mana I would milk out of these cores and their swampish, greenish glow. All the smile knew was that I was bound to be stronger so I grabbed one of the cores and;

All good was good until that little fuck wisped it's annoying at me.

"Hewwo Mister Lock! Nice to see you again!"

It wisped from up the roof, wisping down towards thine, "How are you?"

"Great.. till now!" told I with much a flat lined brow.

"Aww you missed me!" it wisped closer to thine, "Ooh! Lookie what you got there…. And lookie at you.. Oooh! So strong!"

I held back my lusting thought, which kept on pep talking me to smack it with the core.

"Oooh! So violent!" it said.

I forgot it could read minds, I gave a deep sigh, putting the core back to the twirly-whirly, "Why're you here?"

"Ooh! It's cause I really wanted to see you!"

I drew on a smile, impeccably forced, "Now you've seen me.. be on your way then bye!"

"Aw! Don't be so grumpy Grumpy!"

"Then return my hair!" said I.

The wisp paused for a moment, till it blurted, "Nope! No can do!"

"Fuck off then!"

The brief shorts-scenes, moments of me playing 'Nay!' living here proved to thine that this hair be rather nifty in a handful of things, so I did not pressed on with the shitty blue thing.

Would've fumed for my height but I was too proud to admit how tall a 5'4 was and given the nature of this little shit, it will press on until I could admit how shor- tall I was.

The little shit let out a short, faint gruff or scoff or something but I heard it then I figured- it read that thought, the little Cunt.

"FUCK OFF!" I screamed for the second

"Language Mister Lock.. see, now look,!" it yelped, ever always so quick and ignoring my disdain and displeasure it jabbered on, "The world's taking a short break so you should flutter away as your kind always do!"

"Is that a message? Why're you telling me this, you could just relay some kinda message right? That's what the screens are for right?"

"Well, Kinda…"

"Then why come to me? Go wisp somewhe-."

"Oh Look! The message!" it spouted, cutting my tongue off when it spoke.

And as it did, in my screen of faint blue I saw, "Players are requested to log-off for a short maintenance break. Please head to your closest Star-fall."

"Head to your closest star-fall? Can't they just log us off in an emergency?"

"Aw! Mister four, you can only come and go throu—"

"The Fall I know.." said I, twas much now time to cut it off too, "But it's an emergency so you cou—"

"Even if it's an emergency, descents must use the fall." It said, cutting me off as I glared at the wisp.

"Even so,," I gruffed, the coarsness in thine voice was proof I held back a temper, "There's not any need for you to be here."

"You're so mean!" it wisped, "Fine I'll go, I was trying to tell you to be warned because worlds will be changing shortly, sorry for caring, I'll go!"

"Wh- what is that? Why'd it suddenly feel like a rom-com scene?"

"I'll go…" it chimed in with a quick sob and left.

The little noises all round it's body fluttered as it vanished with little a many shiny blue confetti pixelating to blue dusts right before thine beautiful face.

"WHAT THE FUCK'S HAPPENING??"

To all the shits, to all everything and thus fucking wisp I screamed- so loud the little thing dangling at the back of my throat was swinging a- Tarzan with his dick out.

You're criticism is mu fuel.

Fuel me more.

JF_Fanaicreators' thoughts