Yamana looked at Malaria with a pitiful gaze and squeezed a tear out of her eye. "Little-big brother Malaria, I want the recovery sludge." Knowing the methods that are commonly used as 'emergency treatment' on the battlefield, she didn't want to get stitched up at her tender age. Glancing at the knocked-out Scarface, she didn't want a body like that!
Malaria felt a shiver in his spine and looked at Yamana in shock. This girl that claims he's the 'enemy' of all girl's happiness, was playing cute? What an odd feeling!
"Fine then. Just in case, to avoid friendly fire in the future – keep these gas masks at the ready."
The medic-nin turned flat on her heel, leaving them lying under the bushes with their sludge. There were already several dozens of others in need of her spectacular and magnificent medical talents. She wouldn't let some blue mud put a crack in her belief in the medical arts. She would absolutely report its existence to the top, though.
—
After administering a healthy dosage of unbearably itchy sludge all over the two girls, they felt as if they were stuck in an ice cellar covered in centipedes. The healing effect was instantaneous, but the experience was truly beyond description.
Collecting themselves and the strewn around weaponry from the fight, they soon chose to depart to hide in the nearby forest. It was the route they came from and should be the safest spot. Even though one enemy ran away in this direction, he should've been dealt with by someone else at this point.
"YaMaNa-ChAn, WhY aM I cArRyInG aLl Of YoUr gEaR?" Malaria complained in a twisted tone. He just healed them with his great and fragrant medicine - and he was completely knackered after all the battles. His mosquitoes didn't even get a drip of blood from his enemies before they got covered in repellent.
He was almost turning insane from their feeding - and they were laying even more eggs at the same time! Yamana turned around and glanced at Malaria, "As the only man on our team, this is your natural responsibility. And we were hurt and bled a lot earlier, I'm feeling somewhat faint from bloodloss."
Malaria's face blanched. Bloodloss? Their bloodsupply would last a full day, medic-nin certified! His on the other hand would run out if he didn't get a good meal by dinner time. Hikari glanced at Malaria, who was carrying one Iwa Style Chakra Swords weighing close to 15kg, plus Yamana's and Hikari's gear at another 20kg.
For a perceptive- and research-type ninja, it was a rather heavy burden. That's a full 35kg on the back of a brat that just hit 6 years old this week. However, considering that she too was an injured girl, Hikari chose to ignore it.
"Wait!" Malaria suddenly shouted and stopped arguing with Yamana. Hikari activated her Byakugan, raising her palms ready to intercept anything coming their way. Yamana on the other hand grabbed her sword from Malaria's back, getting ready for another fight.
Malaria crept forward quietly and squatted. There was a near-transparent wire on the ground attached to a large stack of explosive tags hidden at the base of a nearby tree. "Who did this shoddy work?" Yamana scorned.
Frowning, Hikari looked around and threw a kunai towards a nearby bush.
"Ahhhh!"
Malaria bore down on the guy and saw a slim man with a raging dragon in his pants. That bastard from before didn't run away but tried to trap them again!? "Why the hell are you still here? Your partners are already dealt with, the mission you should've had already failed." Yamana kicked at the man.
The guy smiled bitterly, "My partners and I are under a curs…" before he could continue, a strange black mark on his tongue started spreading to his throat. In almost an instant, his airways were completely sealed - he's getting choked to death!
Malaria immediately recognized the seal, 'Isn't this the seal that keeps all the Root members in check? Were all these attacks in the middle of camp planned by Danzo-sama?' Somewhat figuring out what's going on, and how these goons managed to get all the way to them - everything made sense if that was the case. 'Is he testing me? Hmm...' Malaria thought.
Hikari frowned as she watched the seal kill off the Iwa-ninja. She had seen something similar happen to the branch-family members in the Hyuuga clan once they attempt to go rogue. Once it happens, characters of the same nature spread out from their foreheads, claiming their eyes - and their lives in the end.
Yamana on the other hand only gave a short 'tch', before trying to use the mind-reading techniques of the Yamanaka clan. If possible, she might be able to glean some clues into all of this. This event oozes suspicious activity. As the technique connected, she got shunted out paled faced. The seal had completely covered the Iwa-ninja's brain.
Glancing at each other, there wasn't anything they could do with this guy. They kept on walking to find a safe spot until the fighting was over, as Malaria side tracked to pick up a mushroom under the roots of a tree.
Looking at the black mushroom in Malaria's hand, Hikari asked curiously, "Why did you pick up that mushroom? Wait, is it and ingredient for your devil brews?" Never having taken a second look at the different flora and fauna before, after Malaria's exploits she couldn't help but ignite a small interest.
"This mushroom that I named 'Eucalyptus Cinnamon' is the main ingredient for my orange concotion. It gives that refreshing, yet warming aroma under certain conditions." Malaria waved the mushroom in his hand. According to his knowledge, such a fungus in his original world would be completely nonsensical.
Once more people learn of its interesting properties, outside of making poisons, he could tell hundreds of bakeries in the Shinobi World would praise his findings day and night. Cinnamon Buns is a delectable treat, after all.
"The Orange Drug!" Hikari exclaimed and looked at Malaria. "You're preparing to make some to poison more enemies?" She didn't know that its creator intended for the brew to become a mosquito repellent, so Malaria could only nod helplessly. The intentions of the creator almost always get thrown out the window – what repellent? It's poison!
Yamana took a step back and eyed Malaria warily. That mushroom could just as well be part of the formula to make the pink-mix! She did not forget what she had seen at the riverbank, and the even more saddening memory of Uchiha Dobito!
"If others use techniques and chakra to fight, why can't I use my expertise in biochemical combat?" Malaria snorted as he spotted Yamana's wariness. As if he would down a pink-mix himself. He's still too young to get his draconic functions activated, so there wouldn't be any point really.
The girls were lost for words. Why does this little brat always have such excuses for everything? Making aphrodisiacs in the woods and calling it 'biochemical weapons' does change the feeling of the current situation, but it doesn't change what's actually going on.
If everyone in the world fought like Malaria did, every fight would become a game of poisons. In fact, that's exactly what's happening towards the border of the Land of Wind. Sand ninja pride themselves in their various types of poisons, as Tsunade is working hard to create antidotes.
The girls merely snorted at Malaria's usual shamelessness and did not say anything about it. Not everybody is monstrous enough to concoct poisons in the middle of a field, but Malaria seems to have no issue doing so.
The night gradually fell. Malaria and the girls soon returned to the encampment and found their exploded tenting gear and other daily necessities crushed on the ground. Too tired to bother with that, they soon found a replacement mud-hut made by someone with decent control over their Earth Release techniques.
All three fell asleep the moment they laid down. This was their first day on a battlefield and it had taken an enormous toll on their spirits.
--
That night in the commanding tent of the encampment, Suzuki Yamaha's heart was racing. His right arm was bandaged, and he used a crutch on his left to hobble around. Orochimaru, the commander of this army was furiously going through report documents to tally their casualties.
They had lost the entire advance force of 200 men without as much as a peep being leaked. During the encampment battle, another 30 died while almost 100 could be considered unfit for further combat. What a horrendous start to this campaign!
Before the desk, Uchiha Fugaku and Shimura Danzo were glaring at each other, and a terrible storm was brewing. Fugaku had arrived with a detachment of Uchiha clansmen as reinforcements, while Danzo had circled back from the border to investigate after finding holes in the border patrol's route.
Uchiha Inabi, the aide and friend of Fugaku knocked on Yamaha's shoulder and said in a low voice, "Why don't you talk some sense into them? It will be bad for morale if they start a fight."
Yamaha rolled his eyes and suggested, "You can talk to them if you want. After all, I don't think Danzo-sama will be injured." Thinking of the stories of the Second Hokage and Danzo always doing bad things to the Uchiha, he should have a countermeasure against them, right?
'Cough! Cough!'
Inabi started coughing to stop himself from raging out. Danzo was a well-known super Anbu with strength to match the Hokage himself. Sarutobi and Danzo used to be in the same squad under the second Hokage, in the end Danzo only lost the Hokage-seat by a narrow margin.
"Danzo, as long as you give Malaria's new medicine to everyone in the village, I can promise my Uchiha clans' full support under your command during this campaign." Fugaku offered. They had both read the report on the miracle drug Malaria had created, and Danzo wanted it to become Root-exclusive.
"Danzo, commanding Uchiha!?"
Inabi and Yamaha exclaimed. Is this truly the Uchiha Patriarch speaking right now? Did he fall from a tree on the route from Konoha and hit his head? It's an open secret that most, if not all, of the issues the Uchiha has faced are related to Danzo!
If Danzo could get the Uchiha clans' support in this campaign, this battlefield would instantly become the most popular one for the upcoming draft to join. Having an Uchiha squad-mate on the battlefield is a tremendous boon for anyone with a working brain. The Sharingan isn't touted as the strongest bloodline-limit for nothing.
Should Danzo agree to this, he would have fame, deeper clan connections, first pick of stellar shinobi for his Root and many other benefits. It was definitely a great deal.
"Hehe. Do you really think I care about having your Uchiha clan on my battlefront?" Danzo snorted in disdain. He was the Hokage's right hand man. If he wants people – he gets people, he needs wealth and resources? He gets wealth and resources! 'Who the hell wants to team up with the arrogant Uchiha anyway? Hmpf!' Danzo thought.
Fame used to draw the interests of the villagers to this battlefield? Useless, it only destabilizes the other fronts. Connections with other noble clans in Konoha? Useless, he already has a good number of Root from every single family in the village. This entire deal didn't speak to his interests at all.
Fugaku snorted and said, "I have already confirmed that Malaria is one of your men, but for some reason hasn't received the Root treatment. If you don't agree, I'll petition the Hokage on this matter – we'll see what his thoughts on the healing medicine, and Malaria, are."
"Cut the crap, Uchiha filth." Danzo shouted. "I was there when Malaria was born… Anyway, at that time I promised the Aburame clan I would teach him once he grew up. Since that moment, the child was destined to learn my methods." Accidentally leaking a few words, Danzo clarified his stance that Malaria couldn't go anywhere but his Root.
This is my first comedy work, and I hope you'll have plenty of laughs. I've heard rumors about a certain stone. A stone with power. One could call it:
The power stone!
And I have an instatiable craving for some of those. Please leave yours behind on the way out! Oh, and do leave a comment or review while you're at it, or I'll send a quintuple amount of mosquitoes to your area!