Medical Genius

"Haha, you didn't see this part coming, did you?" Another three ninjas jumped up out of the sandy beach, laughing. These three are also from Iwagakure, using their Earth Release to move unhindered underground.

Hikari and Yamana's faces quickly paled. They turned to look at their feet, only to see already lit explosive tags about to explode!

"Not good!"

Without thinking, the girls hurried to jump and roll away. Suzuki Yamaha dashed towards the explosive tags, throwing himself on top like a true martyr.

"Yamaha-sensei!!" Malaria shouted out in grief. Still snivelling with his nose full of snot and eyes bloodshot from his own gas, he looked like the world was collapsing in sadness.

Amid explosions and fire, Hikari and Yamana fell to the ground, covered in blood and almost passing out. Yamaha's body on the other hand turn into flying pieces of mud. It was just a mud clone that came to check on them, his true body was still over at the encampments entrance.

Malaria squinted at the girls and discovered they had lost all ability to fight. This situation can be said… It never rains; it pours! How many shinobi has infiltrated into the Land of Fire? What's the bloody border patrol doing!? Useless halfwits!

Malaria felt a headache coming. He had just barely incapacitated Scarface's group, and yet another one popped out of the ground like some damned mushroom. This is too much! Quickly rinsing his face in the river, he prepared himself for another battle.

"Malaria, you can resolve this crisis by surrendering to us." One of the newly arrived ninjas spoke, "Your capability has better uses in a laboratory. Only 6 years old, yet already producing concoctions and potions like none other. You're wasting your potential in Konoha."

These ones told him the reason why they haven't gone for the kill just yet. Everyone knows the greatest reason behind Konoha's hegemony – the Second Hokage, Tobirama Senju's researching endeavours. He was a genius researcher who created over half of Konoha's different techniques by himself.

Finding good researchers in the world is probably the hardest thing for every village. You can train strong shinobi, but you can't train a mind to invent and produce new methods of war.

"I do not like to team up with men(1). Get out of my way, or I'll have my future creation placed in the Land of Earth for its first debut!" Malaria yelled and shouted, clearly still angered that he couldn't see through Yamaha's sacrifice, which was just a mud clone in advance.

"Haaaaaa!"

Malaria roared, and a truly monstrous black swirl rose with him at the center. He then leapt up a meter in the air, four bottles of different varieties between his fingers on each hand. The massive swarm of mosquitoes covered the entire riverbank, as Malaria threw out every concoction he still has available.

'Tinkle, shatter, shatter, shatter!'

A magnificent super-sized cloud the colour of sunset rose in the middle of the swarm where the three Iwa ninja was standing. One could almost see the entire mosquito cloud recoil the moment the repellent spread through the air, like a living wave.

The three men that just arrived looked at the monstrous insect cloud in fear. What sort of terrifying amount of mosquitoes is this? Before they could comprehend how one goes about dodging the air itself, the bottles cracked - watching the black tornado disperse in a mist the colour of peaches.

They didn't even need to breathe it in before their eyes teared up like waterfalls. Opening their mouths to shout in horror they inhaled the refreshing yet burning gas deep into their lungs.

Eyes bloodshot, their pants rigid like tents, mucus and snot flowing like a river – they couldn't formulate a single proper thought on how to handle the situation. The more they breathed in of this horrendous gas, the greater their need to heave even more of it in some cursed chain-reaction.

Soon, one of the three couldn't take it anymore and grabbed his companion – seeking relief or just something to hold onto before he starts convulsing on the ground. His friend misunderstands, since he's also affected by the aphrodisiacs what he fears most is his manly companions.

Kneeing his friend straight in the package in desperation, the 'tent' gets smashed entirely inwards like a stake in the ground! Instantly blacking his comrade out, the standing man sniffles and cries as the last member of his squad is already doing his best to start the earth release to hide underground.

Before they could continue with whatever it is they're doing, a massive Fūma Shuriken comes flying through the gas cloud. The man doing the hand seals gets cut in two, as only the last standing one wants nothing but run into the river to wash off this despair inducing gas.

Running in a random direction, he soon rushes out of the cloud into the forest before Malaria could manage to catch him. Poor fellow will most likely have the worst kind of wet dreams following this experience, after some furious hand exercises...

Walking over to Scarface, Malaria had 'murder' practically written over his face, "So, by now you should've got somewhat used to my creation. My teammates were injured by your lot, what will your compensation be?" Malaria raised the Iwa Chakra Sword one-handed over the man's junk, arm quivering as he could barely hold it still.

Utterly scared, the man unstrapped his ninja pouch and laid down flat on the ground, arms outstretched. Not sure if his continuous snivelling was out of fear or because the gas was still doing a number on him, Malaria whacked him over the neck with the flat side of the blade.

Turning around to do the same with the kunai-thrower he incapacitated earlier, he found the guy had already ran away. Malaria soon reached Hikari and Yamana, both of them stared at him, stunned. Malaria couldn't help but rub his face a few times. Did both of them fall for him after his invincible performance just now?

Malaria was in a dilemma. Which one should he bring first to the bushes for some tumbling?

"Let's go. Someone might show up again, and this time we're really out of options." Hikari said, looking at Malaria's empty grenade belt. She tried standing up, but her legs lost all strength before she could balance herself.

Malaria's eyes glimmered with light. He promptly held his hands over her shoulders and smiled, "Let me carry you to a safer place!" Then, not giving Hikari a chance to reply, he carried her on his back. He enjoyed the soft feeling, but was annoyed he had to flow his chakra to remove the itchiness caused by her weight crushing his mozzies.

"What are you doing, you little brat? Put me down!" Blushing, Hikari tried to push herself off Malaria's miniscule back, but she was already completely out of strength. "As proper squad mates, we must help one another." Malaria righteously proclaimed.

Walking a bit further to a hidden spot near a few trees at the forests edge, he put her down. Walking back, he did the same for Yamana too. "Who's your teammate? Move your hands away from me, you scoundrel!" Yamana complained, yet couldn't resist his roaming palms.

—

As Malaria started bandaging his female companions wounds 'tightly', Suzuki Yamaha was alarmed. Stuck in battle with another special-Jonin from Iwagakure, he could only grit his teeth in anger when he got the feedback from his mud-clone. He had to rush back there and help his students!

"Huu! Huu!" Taking several deep breaths, he raised his kunai to deflect another shower of shuriken. He knew that Malaria still has his poisonous belt full of devil brew, but the two girls would be left without protection should something go wrong!

'I have to hurry.' was all he could think, before continuing to battle in furious combat.

—

"Your companions has lost the ability to fight. They need immediate treatment." A medical-ninja had arrived next to Malaria after the tremendous ruckus caused by the prior battle. Wearing a gas-mask, she wanted to take Hikari and Yamana away to administer proper emergency treatment in a tent further inside their encampment.

"If they are not treated immediately, they will die within a day due to excessive bleeding. Your haphazard bandaging only serves to strangle them!" The medic kept complaining as Malaria refused her access to the two injured students.

Malaria rolled his eyes. He wouldn't allow any random stranger with a Konoha head protector take Hikari and Yamana away. Her arrival was suspiciously timed just after all engagements and combat was over in this area. If they left with her, what would he do if this 'medic' turned out to be some undercover Iwa-ninja?

Noticing how Malaria didn't trust the medic ninja, Hikari used her Byakugan to take a closer look just in case there was something suspicious about her. Noticing the suspicion from the three brats, the medic felt exasperated.

"Malaria, let's call it a day. She should be trustworthy." Hikari sighed in relief. "Hey, scoundrel, I'll leave my Chakra Sword with you for the time being. Use it well and bust some Iwa ninjas for me." Yamana felt unresigned that she couldn't even take one enemy down before becoming a casualty.

"You can go and bust some Iwa heads yourself." Malaria took out two wooden tins from his pocket with some hesitation. It was a byproduct created during his repellent's creation. It felt like sludge made of frozen clay, which aided the hemostasis process of a person's body, closing wounds rapidly.

He didn't know if it had any special side-effects as he had only used it on his own hand when he smashed the bottle on Scarface. The wound stopped bleeding immediately, with a tremendous cold (and itchy-, that he couldn't tell) feeling surging before it started closing up, leaving a large scab.

He originally intended to use it as a smear on unhelpful victims, coating their eyelids and the inside of their ears. The feeling would be absolutely excruciating.

Hikari, Yamana and the medic exclaimed in shock. How could a 6 year old have things like these, taking out such a perfect drug for the battlefield? The medic-nin especially didn't believe for a second that this blue~ish sludge could have such miraculous effects.

Malaria knew that these guys won't believe him unless they saw it. Without hesitation, he placed his newly healed hand on the edge of his Chakra Sword, drawing blood. Using his other hand, he took a fingertop's worth of sludge and spread it over the cut.

Within seconds the wound stopped bleeding before a new scab started forming ontop. Everybody's lips twitched. What sort of sludge is this? Did the brat start researching chemistry in his mothers womb? This is ridiculous!

Shinobi pharmaceutics had always lagged behind due to the magical effects one could reach with just Chakra. Senju Tsunade was a perfect example, mostly focusing her research on chakra transformation, control and effects to the human body.

If someone went the route of pharmaceutics, it was always to counteract or concoct a poison. Barely any sort of hemostasis medicine existed today, mostly using bandages to seal the wound before using Chakra and special techniques to repair the damage.

Malaria had invented new treatment methods at the age of 6! No, maybe even before that. If it was to be known by the Hokage, he would've never in a hundred years let Malaria step onto a battlefield.

"Hey, why are you still here? If your presence alarms some more Iwa-ninja to ambush us, you will be held repsonsible for my teammates deaths." Malaria looked at the medic-nin in disdain and shoo'ed her away.

The medic opened her mouth, only to come up with no response. She barely knew the surface level of the Mystical Palm Technique that's required to close wounds. And yet, this brat just used some sludge to make her entire career seem meaningless. What could she even say about that?

---

(1)[A/N: Sorry about that one, I said this joke should end, but it slipped through hehe.]