However, Nothing Stays The Same. (14.2)

…

Asfi Al Andromeda "Perseus" was the typical "cool beauty" that Zaimokuza would never admit he had massive crushes on. Long hair or short hair. Short or tall. The tubby bastard liked girls who were calm, collected, and had good prospects in the corporate workforce. While I couldn't discredit him for the last component, since I wanted to be a househusband, I had to question his reasoning behind the former two. From my memory, he told me he liked them because he wanted a girl who could be the background to his magnificence, the pillar to his genius, and the infinite competence behind his unending stupidity.

Wait, I added that last one in. Oops. Teehee.

Anyway, after Hermes told me all he could, he instantly defaulted toward Andromeda. While the god managed to get my attention, his minder managed to supply me with facts and information that I truly needed. Matters like why they thought it was a monster and not some overpowered, serial killer adventurer, and evidence that proved that a lot of the Level 5s and 6s of the city were innocent of the blame. The blue-haired girl told me: while Alf usually had the resting face of a demented, sociopathic axe murderer, most of the Loki Familia was on an expedition deep in the dungeons, Hikigaya-san. So that means she can't possibly be the killer. Of course, I added in key points of information I was already aware of onto the information presented.

"And, that's that, Hikigaya-san." Asfi Al Andromeda pushed up her glasses in the typical "light glinting off the lenses"-style that Zaimokuza wished he could pull off. Yep, my conversation with the turquoise-haired inventor was indeed very informative. I learned three things: there's definitely a monster hunting adventurers down, that I should be on the lookout for offers to carry unmarked packages, and that Zaimokuza has self-inserted as a god. You tubby bastard, you've set yourself up as a cowboy-themed, handsome, and mysterious gentleman with a beautiful secretary! If you had an ounce of shame in your body, you would have died honorably a long time ago! Don't worry though, I'll be sure to carry out the wishes of your ancestors when I get back! "Do you have any further questions?"

"None." I shook my head. A sigh was building up in the back of my throat. However, the cool sensei only sighed when their students did something idiotic. Unfortunately, the character archetype I chose did not allow for sighing in irritation over something problematic. Isn't that sad? There were so many sighs I could've used. An exasperated sigh, because Zaimokuza was blatantly being idiotic with the number of plotlines going on, was one of them. However, there were plenty of other options. I was leaning toward a resigned sigh, something that hinted at my tiredness over the situation, but I was sure that my character didn't have any "inside" jokes in his repertoire. That was for the idiotic relief character. I suspected that it was Loga's job. "I'll get you the information you want, Andromeda-san. I can either hand it off to you personally or give it to Nelly."

"As long as it reaches me within a week's time, I do not care which method you choose." Andromeda's reply was swift, precise, and somewhat rude. The turquoise-haired inventor immediately stood and bowed to dismiss herself. Some would see those words as an insult. Offer two options and both get rejected? I can imagine a lot of people would be irked. However, as the wise, intelligent man I am, I knew better. It was an opportunity for me to delegate and not have to see a human being and talk to them, so I was appropriately thankful towards Zaimokuza's fantasy wife. On behalf of human society, I apologize for the reason behind your creation, Asfi Al Andromeda. "Thank you for your time and consideration, Hikigaya-san."

"You have my thanks, as well, Andromeda-san." I gave my own, small bow in return. Andromeda seemed surprised by my actions, so I strived to answer the unsaid question. I will not raise a flag with Zaimokuza's dream girl by giving comments that might be construed as flirting. That was a good way to get killed off. True, I could theoretically survive what was sent my way and NTR Zaimokuza, but I've said it once before, and I'll say it again, NTR is a trash fetish. So, in conclusion, leaving some half-assed flag between myself and Andromeda was a stupid idea. "You can't imagine how hard it is to find someone concise and intelligent to speak to in Orario." I gave another nod. No smiles here. Absolutely none. "I look forward to working with you in the future, Andromeda-san."

"I approve of your seriousness in this matter, as well, Hikigaya-san." Andromeda gave her own, curt nod in response. Whereas a normal farewell could end up with something odd happening, I minimized chances of a "blushing" event happening by turning away from the turquoise-haired inventor after that sentence. As expected, my action generated awkwardness. The sort of awkwardness that blocked flags by ridding the environment of "romance." It was effective. As expected of one of my 108 Hachiman Skills. "…I look forward to working with you, as well, Hikigaya-san."

At that, Andromeda departed, and I assumed she took Zaimokuza/Hermes with her…

Until I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Hikigaya-kun." Instead of a threat, I was surprised to hear a plea drift into my ear. Hermes grasped my hand with two of his own. The blond-haired, blue-eyed, and perverted god had tear-filled eyes. What the hell is this development? "Please, promise me, no matter how mean, blunt, and coarse Asfi becomes, you'll always be nice to her like this. This Kami-sama always sees his child being ignored and secluded, but she really just needs friends…" A hand suddenly engulfed his head. Andromeda's face was a mask of contempt and anger. Her alabaster features were accentuated by the vivid, angry flush on her cheeks. "No! Asfi-chan! Don't do this! He's the only person we've found capable of being nice to you! It can't end like this! Not like this!"

Andromeda offered no answer, instead choosing to march out of the ballroom with a vice grip on Hermes's head.

…So, apparently, Zaimokuza was a closet masochist.

Nice to know.

…

There's always a moment in any situation where time is meaningless. Well, at least for loners like myself. While most partygoers would find themselves flirting, making faces at one another, or drinking, my fellows and I would be suspended in social purgatory. Typically speaking, I would turn the occasion into an opportunity and leave immediately, but I couldn't leave the God's Banquet no matter how much I wanted to. Though I'd managed to get an inkling of the upcoming murder-mystery arc, there were still other matters that needed attending to.

Namely, the current event and all the flags that Cranel was going to be tripping within it.

"Ah, Sensei, you're back!"

Oi, brat, you shouldn't smile like that to anyone but your date. Don't you know that girls can easily get jealous?

Cranel looked every bit the harem protagonist he was supposed to be in his formal wear. There were quite a few glances from the unnamed, unimportant masses towards him. Both male and female. Truly, his appeal was not to be underestimated.

"Where have you been?"

"Just went to talk with someone… interesting." I did my best to forget Zaimokuza's self-insert character as I took one of the empty seats at Cranel's table. With everyone having finished eating dinner, most were mingling with other groups. In the corner of my eye, I could see performers setting up their instruments. The dancing portion of this little scene was about to begin. Given Zaimokuza's lack of literary talent, I was sure it was just going to be the colored centerfold of the light novel. "You enjoying yourself, brat?"

"Well, um, it's sort of scary to be looked at by so many people, but I guess that's what happens when you come here with someone as amazing as A-Aiz-chan!" I had to wonder if he was being glared at jealously by all the men or if they had ulterior motives for him as well. I mean, Cranel wasn't Totsuka, but there's no denying with his voice, figure, and face-, no. That way of thought lies in the Ebina-dimension. It is a place that is dark and full of BL. Erase and delete. Yes, all those men are simply jealous of your stunning date, Brat. "Ummm, ah, well…" Cranel poked the ends of his fingers together as he tried to find his words. I nudged him so he would go ahead and voice his issue. "S-sensei, could you give me advice on dancing? I-I was raised on a farm, so I don't really know how to—."

Grunting, I checked if there was space available before rising and offering him my hand.

"S-Sensei!?"

"What, how do you expect to learn besides doing it yourself, Brat?" I had faith that Cranel could learn a simple box step with just a few repetitions. Quite frankly, with all his wall running, high jumping, and knife antics, he could probably sweep the ballroom floor with proper instruction. Why would I waste time explaining moves to him when I could just have him go through the motions and learn far more quickly? "Besides, this is already part of the dance, Brat. A man should never wait for their date to ask them to dance."

For a moment, Cranel only stared at my offered, gloved hand, but soon enough he looked away, hiding his face in shadow, and took my invitation by placing his palm atop mine. I heard a few errant words slip from his lips as he did. How "calm," "remember," and "Onee-sans" joined together, I didn't know, but I didn't care enough to find out.

With that, I went through the moves for a simple box dance. Forward, to the right, back, then left. Very simple. The effortless workhorse of living males everywhere. I had to make do with only one hand, but my footwork was decent and Cranel was more than capable of reading body cues.

Cranel's face was red as we began, probably because he was worried about our difference in height. I'm sorry, brat, but I'm sure you already noticed that Wallenstein is taller than you. Hell, most of the girls present are taller than you. Unfortunately for you, you weren't born into a glorious, modern society with plenty of sugar and fat available to fuel your growth spurt. Just because you only reach my chest in height and have to follow my lead, doesn't mean anything! If you pay attention, Brat, I'm sure that you could be the lead when dancing with Wallenstein.

Have some confidence, look up and straight instead of being wide eyed and frantic, and be a damned man!

Stop making this weird!

…