Drunken Man
In a world full of sovereigns and their dominions, forbidden lands hiding fortune and adversity, unexplored ruins with long forgotten secrets, lived legends of uncountable deeds. Chivalrous or otherwise. Yet none can escape the hands of time, allowing only the stories to live on. Such tales are passed down from generation to generation and the most well-known of these was of a particular adventurer. A story simply known as 'The Memoir of the Forgotten Hero'.
Dali, a large city at the edge of the Kingdom of Moro, famous for being a frequent destination point for adventurers of all kinds. Yet one thing all of them seek at one point or another is the city's bars, known far and wide. One in particular was Soul Bar, where every table had its own designated barmaid, ready to serve food and wine at the beck and call of its customers. However, what made it famous was not the premium interior or the high caliber service, but rather a single drunkard.
"Do you understand now… ladies and *hic* gentlemen? That's how *hic* I slayed that enormous dragon. I am the mighty *hic* Tufail Tigor, the dragon slayer!" Said a man with a greasy smattering of black hair put up in a ponytail perched atop his head and a haggard face concealed by a spiralling fringe.
"Say, Tufail, how exactly did you kill it though?" Asked a cackling fat man, as he bit off a huge chunk of a roasted goat thigh held in one hand whilst gradually spilling his wine in the other.
"You... fat pig, why didn't you pay attention earlier? Tufail retorted as he continued to hiccup, surprising the rotund man with his gall as his jaw dropped. "The hell did you say?"
Tufail continued "I said your mother came here last night." Making the rest of the customers erupt in laughter. "Oye Jack, he got you there, haha!"
The fat man fumed from shame as everyone laughed at him. Thus, in a fit of rage, he pulled out his shiny dagger from his waist pocket, perfectly hidden by his fat belly.
"Hey, hey, come on now! Don't be so hasty. He's just a drunk, a clown to lighten the mood. Don't take his antics so seriously. Here, have another glass." A nearby man tried to calm Jack down. At the same time, Tufail drank another glass of his own and continued "Hey, ya fat pig. Do you know what your mother and I did on that very table you're at?"
"Fuck..." the man who tried to calm Jack cussed while the latter had had enough and threw his dagger at Tufail in response to the insult. However, it missed him by a hair's breadth, hitting the wall behind Tufail instead. "What did you two do, huh?" The fat man was pissed. He was an E-ranked adventurer, respected by the masses, how could he possibly take this disrespect without laying down.
"We *hic*, we shared a few cups of wine on that table." The gleam of the dagger was enough to wash away his hangover as he then took out the dagger behind him, before continuing. "And then..."
"And what?" Asked the fat man loudly as the inn turned silent around them. Every pair of ears and eyes focused on Tufail, waiting with bated breath, as he said. "And then, I fucked her on it, hahaha!"
With a sudden kick right in the abdomen, Tufail was sent flying. "Arrghh, she asked for it, I swear!" He retorted in vain before a stiff punch landed on his face, smashing his head against the wall.
"Oww... It was a contribution to elderly service!" Tufail cried out as he curled up in a ball, rubbing his head before Jack came over and pulled him by the hair. "You son of a bitch, how dare you insult my dead mother? Don't you know who am I?"
"No, I don't kno... wait... she died? But she was quite lively last night!"
"That numbskull is dead." commented a spectator.
The eyes of the fat man turned red in response as he pulled his dagger and shoved it at Tufail whilst saying "My mother died 10 years ago. You can apologize to her in the afterlife."
The dagger struck, but it didn't penetrate the body. "Huh, then the one I banged wasn't your mother? Asked Tufail in a different voice, startling Jack as the latter exerted more force on the dagger to no avail. "You fucking pig, why were you attacking me when it wasn't your mother at all?"
Just a single kick was thrown and the bewildered Jack was blown away, destroying multiple tables on the way.
"That's why I tried to stop that buffoon," said the man who tried to calm Jack down earlier. "This drunken bastard has never lost in a bar fight."
"What in the hell was that?" Jack exclaimed in pain while coughing out some blood. Meanwhile, the black-haired man moved, his feet battering the floor as he came near.
"You lying, flabby cunt! I was even going to consider you as my son... Do you have any idea how much your lie ruined my whole family plans? You will die today, my assumed son. No, wannabe son! No… no, about-to-be son?"
Jack was puzzled "Huh, what's happening?"
"Shut the fuck up, I need time to gather my thoughts... Fuck, I'm stuck." Cried Tufail as he pressed his temples for some unknown purpose. And right at that very moment, the door of the inn was opened with a loud creaking sound as a bunch of soldiers rushed in.
"Attention adventurers! We are here on official military business. The commander will shortly make his appearance." Announced a soldier.
Soon after, a man with red hair and a red moustache appeared, his eyes piercing through the masses before landing on the drunken Tufail. He then started lightly marching towards him with resounding footsteps. "It's an honour to meet you, Blood Drunk Halberd!" Said the commander.
Tufail leaned forward, barely towering over the commander, as he brought his mouth to the commander's ears as close as possible. "A quick question. *hic* Did your mother visit this inn last night?"