Marvel : Homelander

Wrote It when i got an Idea. Seems like it is headed towards great Succes. Though I irge you to check my other stories they're different from this one but great stories ive poured my heart into nonetheless.

劇透

i dont see the point in writing that title when you just give the mc powers beyond the scope of homelander, powers that outshine homelanders alibies anyway

Grammar needs work, lots of spelling and punctuation errors that has to be corrected and the writing in general is barely average. We know nothing of the character description besides the fact mc reincarnated with powers of homelander, and then author changes it and says it came from this ‘new order’ power that’s so overpowered it changes reality, thus allowing him to make any ability he wishes. Mc kills his pedo uncle and drug/alcohol addicted parents which is fine, makes sense. What doesn’t make sense is that the X-men look for him, Jean finds him and then he somehow forcibly mind controls her(new order bs power) to leave and attack the X-men while also making them lose their memories. Next he somehow gains a zealous ally that was never mentioned and talked about, and he vents to her on a angsty crying rant about being a god in chains wanting more power bla bla blah, out of nowhere. Keep in mind all we know is mc died (age unknown), reincarnated into current body in mcu(age again unknown), and he’s acting like this??? Story needs to be fleshed out so much it’s not funny, this just makes no sense(barebone details). It’s like going into the mind of a schizophrenic that gets more powers like it’s free real estate, but he also does irrational things for no reason. Also the ancient one exists for a reason when it comes to mystical threats and reality changing powers, but ok just ignore that as well.

It's not a bad story at all, interesting power and the grammar is fine. The Mc is relatable and the beggining of the story is great until chapter 12. There is an unmarked, unshown timeskip of unknown duration. During that time skip the character develops a bunch and we are left in the dark. Not only does he gain powers over the time skip, but his relations with a character briefly mentioned once 5 chapters previously changes drastically and we don't see any of this occur, or be explaomed. His personality also goes through a big change and we see none of the build up. This left me disconnected and simply lost in the story, struggling to make sense of things when none of the pertinent information is given to the reader. Tldr. After the chapter titled "ice cream" the story goes south hard into a confusing mess.

I like the idea very much, but sadly there are a lot of plotholes in the story. Also, mc has new world order - he can wish for any power, homelander powers included, so why are you giving him homelander powers? I'm sorry to say it, but you butchered your own story.

[AI NOVEL ALERT] It started very good, but the heavily AI usage after chapter 10 make it barely readable. Was 4 paragraphs to describe how bad he was feeling while punching a wall while just saying the same thing over and over...

I thought the first part was good in started going down hill when he got really emo and homelander like. then the story went even more down hill with the oc you used taking not only fore front in the story but being part of the most likely main villian. This is NOT an i have homlander powers in marvel fanfic that was a straight lie. This is a multi crossover with a face lift fanfic and i can smell the chaos coming off this story. I have kinda a big problem when u mix anime and american comics it just doesnt work most of the time unless ur really good. This is just too random and becoming really edgy which is not really what was advertised.

The story started nice but at some point it turned from an anti-hero to something dark and not fun to read anymore. I have read till chapter 19 and lost interest when it only focused on the secondary character. I know the author probably wanted to expand his world and not focus only on the MC but for me it felt boring. The grammar was okay though so that and Updating Stability will get five stars from me.

Grammar need alot of work, the story development is not good, the character design could be better, the world background is meh all in all a meh story

I don't know how to feel about this. Writitng is good but gives off watpad vibe, I dont understand MC motivation and i don't even know how his power work, It redundant to say he have homelander and new order power when its totally differnt and have limitation and uses thats totally unrelated, More like author is making it up as they go so with each new chapter the setting from last one become useless.

op and not a brain dead MC, world seems to be a combination of the movies and the x-men, could be the comic world, has a lot of potential. . ......... ...................

the mc is not homelander power wise. theres more but I don't like complaining, maybethe author can improve.

this a really interesting story, it has just the right amount of darkness you'd expect of a story that has the name homelander in the title but it also has that nice touch of light and good sense so that we can relate, has a lot of potential, i hope he continues posting

The hapzard way of writing the story is the downfall of this fic.

MC is a maniac who want control everything, his powers don't write how work(And i read to 27 chapter and don't understand how work his 2nd power ).

its a good story so far with definite emotional depth that mc's in stories don't really have and there's also emotional depth to the other character shown so far. The mc is not the perfect being with no problems and I assume will get character development from the way it's going, and character development is always the best in a story otherwise it gets bland with no mental and emotional growth so expect that. The mc has good powers, op as well which is what you look for in this pic and also knows how to use his powers well not like most of the idiotic op mc's out there where the author can't use the powers correctly. Updates are extremely consistent. The world background is marvel with mutants and the whole of it with maybe even potential mini crossovers that I'm seeing, nothing major though so it doesn't ruin the story. overall, a good story so far and looking forward to more.

I mean, what is the point of making someone so powerful just for the hell of it?

This is a good story, I'm really enjoying it. I'd just like the MC to be less mental, I get that it's probably for character development, but it's slowly becoming tedious to read. I suggest you just have the MC use his reality warping to remove all mental illness/ mental problems from himself since you've shown he's able to use it on himself.

Id personally like to see the MC more human dont mind him having new order as long as the hard limits are there. i think a chapter on the long term goal would be a good idea. Shows more empathy also. There are a bunch of story lines you could do like recruiting the fantastic 4 to the eventual team if they exist. the more he devlops this heroic persona maybe he could start to realise oh shit the world is really starting to see me as this symbol. Like superman in the past has shown that people are relying on me to protect them how am i going to do that. if you do go through the process of recruits maybe make it clear what type of people he is looking for I don't recommend pulling a justice league and just recruiting everyone. Like dont just recruit all the X-Men have characteric requirements. overall i dont think its bad i just think him being like oh i should give back to the world the least i can do is protect it now i have these power is a good idea if you follow through with the idea of oh people are now seeing me as there symbol of hope type thing i cant abandon this.