xHelios

Connor I get, but you know damn well people think Adrien broner ain’t a top tier fighter, that boy a fraud, you ask any hood about that they’ll agree with me. Also if you do want Alex to lose, it should be soon because he already has the entire division in his hands.

Needs a lot of work.. author might not speak English because there’s a bit of Korean/Chinese young master influence. Could just be a mediocre translation. Story starts with mc, author gives all these stats about him, but doesn’t even write basic info about mc, including age. It’s just immediate mc oc wakes up with memories and just starts being a hero. Nothing written about mark, the mom, or dads interaction when mc gets powers. Very superficial story, nothing concrete that gives life to the fic.

Bruh is he a high schooler? You didn’t even say his age or explain anything, not smart author…

And there’s the Chinese young master bullshit, I knew it was only a matter of time hahaha

If you’re gonna have someone thinking to themselves, use different quotation marks like a smart person would please. Ex: “this is how people talk”, bla said, ‘This is how people think’, bla thought.

Op mc wank fest with wishful thinking and zero thoughts of trying to add logic to this story. Tried to read but it literally made no sense, it’s a wank fest for sure with comedy. Nothing wrong bout that, but its definitely not for me. So mc is black from the author picture, gets 4 absolutely op wishes, and then trains and goes to his first world which is naruto, still at the same age. Apparently he sneaks into konoha, gets caught, anbu leads him to tsunade, he says some meta knowledge bs because he wants to barter for staying in the village. Bruh hes black, everyone from konoha would think hes a kumo spy/ninja! Also no one questions the fact of what clothes he’s wearing and that his name is Travis… Then tsunade just ignores that completely and asks if mc wants to be a genin under kakashis team(this is when naruto and jiraiya come back from timeskip). Read if bored, or you dont care about things making sense in a story, its a turn your brain off fic. Grammar is decently good.

It’s already hard to believe things would progress this smoothly with an foreign unknown in their village, especially with a black dude. He looks like he from kumo according to your pic, so why are you writing this as if it’s completely normal for the ninjas of Konoha pertaining to the story???

Because it’s already breaking immersion.. like I commented earlier, this is prolly just a op wank fest with 0 plot. But I’m at least giving this a shot.

When ppl put this in their fic, 9/10 it’s usually a op wank fest with terrible plot, mainly focused on mc wishful thinking/horny dick shit. Hopefully I’m wrong

Look at the racist wannabe chinese young masters lmao, they hate anything dark