Chapter 14: Reunions

AN: Ok, first off, sorry for the late posting everybody! I know it's after Friday for some of you, but I've been falling asleep as soon as I get home pretty regular this week, so the following fight scene is brought to you by Last Minute Productions! On my last read through before posting I realized this fight deserved more attention than it was originally going to get, so it did! But enough of that, you've waited long enough! So as always our customary starter, Reviewer Replies! :D

AnimeMyWorld: They don't realize everything, just that they'd forgotten about Wendy, Sting, Rogue, Anna and each other. The other pieces of that puzzle are still a complete mystery to them, so the timeline is far from wrecked. Thanks for the good wishes and here's the newest update!

Prometo: Glad you liked it! Yes they have remembered Wendy, Sting, Rogue, Anna and each other. As for potentially earlier arrivals, I'm not telling. That would be spoilers. I'm glad you like the Juvia-Lucy friendship, I thought that scene worked really well too. Sorry to make you wait a little extra this week, here's the chapter.

Blaze2121: Yep, I know who it is. A possibility of kids by someone other than the final pairing? My dear Blaze, any time a male and female have sex there is a chance, no matter how miniscule, of a child. So yes, there is the possibility of Jerry having a child by someone other than his final match, although there won't be anything funny about it as Jerry is the sort to take his duty as a father with the utmost seriousness. It hasn't shown up much yet, but Jerry has a deep seated love of children and messing with children is a guaranteed BERSERK button of his. Natsu has NEVER raged as hard as Jerry will over an injured child. He's also not the type to start any sort of relationship if he's not willing to keep up with it. Drunk one night stands aren't his thing at all, so the odds of a child popping up from one are exactly zilch since he'll never have a drunk one night stand. As for Ur and Gildarts, yes I see where you're going with that, but I don't have any plans for it (currently, not everything is set in stone yet).

Reptil: Glad you laughed, I had to write that scene like five times to make it appropriate levels of funny. :D Comedy is hard :/ ... but anyway, yeah it seems like everyone wants to see kid Sting Rogue and Wendy show up sooner rather than later. Since it's so popular, I guess I can go ahead and admit in my usual vague way that Sting and Rogue will be showing up earlier than the canon Grand Magic Games arc. Beyond that, I'm not saying. Not when, not where, not why. Too much spoilers already but I hope that gets a smile. Yes, Gray will make good on his promise to teach Juvia everything he knows, and if Ur makes it then she and Lyon will be delighted to help as well. Ultear? Hmmm...I wonder what's going to happen with her...read on and find out!

DarkDrawerJ: Glad you like!

Raidentensho: Mmhmmyesmmmmhmmm(snort-snuffle-various-noncommittal-noises) I do believe that would be possible, but it would be something that would require a true MASTER mage, one well versed in many, many forms of magic.

Lazymanjones96: Welcome oh lazy one! I'm glad you're enjoying, here's your next dose!

Raphaim: Don't worry about it, this sort of thing is only slightly more embarrassing than usual for Gray. He'll laugh about it later.

And now, without further ado...

Chapter 14 – Reunions

I won't bore you with the details on breaking the so-called "curse". That took five minutes, Erza proving she's smart and highly observative on top of everything else, her super strength armor and long-distance javelin, a high-powered blast from me, and a brief explanation. We were then treated to the rare sight of demons joyously dancing in the now freely falling rain (turns out the villagers were actually demons who had been made to forget they were demons to begin with by some sort of holy magical lens cloud over the island).

Instead, let's skip right to the fun bit…what came after we left the village.

The six of us were calmly walking through the jungle, and I had to admit, it was beautiful. Now that the so-called curse had been lifted, I could see this island becoming a major tourist spot. It wasn't the most cheerful of walks. All of us had our eyes peeled. Erza was out front, then Natsu and Happy were behind her, followed by Lucy, Juvia, Gray and me bringing up the rear. I had my telepathic radar going, keeping my mental eyes peeled for any sign of trouble.

This made the series of giant ground shaking thumps that brought the whole party to a stop all the more surprising. I scanned the area again in consternation, wondering how the hell I missed something big enough to make a noise like that. I frowned and turned, knowing I wasn't going to like whatever I saw as I declared, "I can't sense anything but bugs, birds and a…"

"RAAAAAAAAT!" Juvia screamed.

Granted, as the fifty foot high rat glared at us, I was rather inclined to agree with her, even as I recalled how irrationally terrified Julie had always been of rats. "Gray, make an igloo and then start breakin' out the spears! Natsu! Happy! With me!" I threw out one of my cards and leapt on, immediately sticking myself to it with my telekinesis and lighting myself up like a spotlight as I sky surfed towards the giant mangy…why was it wearing a dress and tutu?

It clicked with me about two seconds later, Dress and tutu, this thing is somebody's pet?! SHIT! They've got a fifty foot tall guard rat?! What the hell else have they got hidden that I didn't pick u-oh shit!

Surprisingly, the rat was quite quick, especially for something that size. I only narrowly dodged the trampoline sized paw tipped with claws that looked more like cavalry sabers as it rocketed through the air in an attempt to swat me. "OKAY MICKEY!" I roared as I righted myself from my impromptu barrel roll out of the way, "YOU ASKED FOR IT!"

I created an illusion of a Gatlin gun (not necessary for rapid fire, but a nice mental trick) and proceeded to unload my Beacon Shroud (as it would thenceforth be known) right at its face, "DIIIIIIIIIIE MICKEEEEEY!" I followed it up with an insane laugh as an absolute barrage of bomb shots fell upon the chef's worst nightmare in a cascade of explosions.

The rat turned, and just as I thought it was about to run away, something that looked like it was the size of a semi-trailer appeared in my peripheral vision and nearly batted me out of the air. If I hadn't teleported, I'd have been out of the fight immediately as its massive tail roared by. I reappeared just in time to see Natsu unleash his Fire Dragon Roar right in the rat's face. The rat decided quite promptly that it had had all it wanted and ran for the shore.

Natsu and Happy glided over to me, "You alright Jerry?!"

"Yeah it missed me," I called back before directing my gaze to the ground, "Heads up, I think we woke up some grumpy locals."

Sure enough, a small army of people in hoods, masks and cloaks were rushing out of a nearby temple set into the base of the mountain we'd been heading towards. They were promptly forced back as a flash flood appeared out of nowhere. Natsu and I gaped and then we noticed Juvia striding forward from the rapidly dissolving igloo with what looked like a pair of miniature hurricanes flanking her. She was clearly quite upset about something. I glanced over at Natsu, "Any idea what pissed her off?"

"I think she's angry about the rat," Natsu mused before exclaiming lightly, "Whoa! Looks like you were right about those wizards!"

I turned my gaze back to the ground and saw a massive golem rip itself out of the ground as a pink haired wizard girl yanked herself and her friend atop it with some kind of magic. Juvia tried to blast them with a firehose like torrent but one of the two on the golem blocked it with what looked suspiciously like a forcefield. Then Juvia was knocked reeling as an invisible force slammed into the ground next to her. The army of hooded guys were currently trying to engage Erza, Gray and Lucy. I saw one guy with claws going after Gray and… actually putting up a pretty good showing! I'd say he should've focused more on Erza since she was by far the biggest threat on our team, but that would've just gotten him eviscerated so…smart move by Claw Boy.

I turned my Gatlin-gun with a grin and called to Natsu, "Well, looks like we're about to have some fun. Normally I'd say air superiority for the win, but I think you'd burn the whole island down if you tried that! Get down there and help handle the mooks, I'll back up Juvia against those two on the rock monster!"

Before the golem could lash out at Juvia, it was engulfed in light and explosions from my Gatlin-gun. I flew down to land next to Juvia and hopped off my card before flipping it up to act as a large shield. Juvia quickly ducked behind it, "That was unnecessary but thank you."

I only narrowly managed to brace the card against the golem's immense fist as it crashed into my makeshift shield. "Guess again," I growled, "Whatever that forcefield is, it's negating our magic! That bombardment would've leveled a city block if it had hit and as much of your water evaporated as splashed on contact. If that hits you, Water Body or not, it's gonna hurt."

Juvia was quiet for a split second and then, "I see. Can you stall them while I make an opening?"

I shot a grin over my shoulder, "You got it!" Juvia nodded and disappeared into a puddle of water that quickly wicked away and through the sand. I willed a dozen more of my cards out and into the shape of a skill saw blade. I grinned and slammed my shield aside before launching my new weapon Captain America style right into the force field. This was the first glimpse I got of my opponents.

One had pink hair and a gothic Lolita outfit going on. Not a bad look for her, but she wasn't nearly as cute as my favorite ladies. Judging by the way her hands were held like she was operating a marionette, I had to guess that she was the one operating the golem. The other wizard with her was apparently the one creating the forcefield. He had hair almost as blue as Juvia's that stood on end like a troll doll, and his eyebrows would've made Rock Lee and Might Guy offer him a green jumpsuit on principle. For anyone who doesn't get that reference, his eyebrows looked like he'd taken a good push broom (not too soft but not too firm, perfect for sweeping copious amounts of sand or dust), sawed it in half, and stuck it to his forehead.

He looked entirely too confident in himself, although I suppose the magic negating field that effortlessly repulsed my card saw was a pretty good trick, and his partner's rock golem did make a good complement to his abilities. I narrowly managed to teleport out of the way as the giant stone fist swung at me again. Telekinetic card shield or not, if I took an overhead swing like that I was screwed. I teleported behind a tree just in time to catch my card saw as it cut through the trunk like a knife through butter. I disassembled the card saw and kept one out to act as a surf board while I grabbed the unsteady trunk's core with my telekinesis. I lowered it like a lance and blared trumpets over my Archive speaker to make absolutely sure they didn't notice Juvia sneaking up from behind. "CHARGE!" roared the speakers and I jetted towards the golem with my tree lance leveled at the two atop the golem.

I have to give Mega-brows credit. He didn't even flinch as he started shooting bolts of that magic negating forcefield at me. I ducked and weaved around them, but there were too many coming too fast. He tagged my card and the ground quite literally fell out from under me, but by then it didn't matter because, "WATER SLICER!"

Juvia erupted out of the sand behind the golem and carved it to rubble in seconds with high pressure water jets. Not one to miss an opening, I landed and used my telekinesis to swing my tree like a baseball bat, "BAAATTER UUUP!" POW! Apparently, 'magic proof' does not equal 'tree proof'.

The two wizards atop the golem went flying and I turned my attentions to the rest of the battle, just in time to see Lucy summon the familiar form of Taurus. Really Lucy? I thought, You're only just now summoning Taurus? Then I saw a whole lot of shining pieces of metal go flying from the crowd around where Taurus had just popped up, and a guy with crab legs sticking out of his back and a pair of scissors all but skated out of a pack of masked henchmen that Taurus proceeded to send flying with an axe slam that made the ground explode. I raised an eyebrow, Actually, that's a pretty good combo! Nice one Lucy!

Then Scissors, who I later learned to be Cancer, got nailed from behind and Taurus suddenly roared in terror. My gaze snapped to the bovine behemoth and a chill ran down my spine as Taurus's eyes started to glow a very unfriendly shade of pink. Mega-Brows and Goth-Pinky had gotten up remarkably quick, with a new golem forming under them.

"Well," Juvia mused dryly, "It would seem our opponents are a little hardier than I would've expected. Do you have any more trees to throw at them?" I just grinned and shot my arm out behind me. Fifty two cards shot from my sleeve like bullets like massive rocket powered razor blades, and over a dozen trees started to topple.

"Plenty." I grinned before throwing my arm back forward to snatch with my telekinesis and send a barrage of trees like javelins straight at the new golem as Juvia added her own immense water attack. Then we felt our chances drop like rocks as Taurus stepped in front of the golem and spun his axe so fast it looked like a solid disc of steel. Wet saw dust rained down across jungle floor as everyone present gaped. Then the brainwashed Taurus raised his axe over his head and with a roar like a fog horn slammed his axe into the ground.

I shit you not, a chasm split the island clear to the shoreline from the force of that hit. If Juvia and I had been standing even two feet closer together, he would've gotten us.

Juvia and I took a second to gawk and then immediately ran for cover because Taurus was winding up for another hit, "LUUUCYYY! CLOSE THE GATE!"

"I CAN'T!" Lucy shouted back, "IT'S NOT WORKING!"

Taurus's axe came down again like a meteor…and stopped short as an almighty clash of metal on metal rang out across the clearing. I peeked out from behind the tree I'd dove behind and stared as Erza casually held Taurus's axe to the ground with the tip of her sword, "Well Taurus, that was quite impressive axe work. I've never fought a Celestial Spirit before. Why don't we have a little fun? Just you and me hmmm?"

"NOOOOOO!" Taurus bellowed in a panic before yanking his axe clear for a fresh swing, "I HATE TO HURT A PRETTY LADY, BUT I CAN'T CONTROL MY MOVEMENTS RIGHT NOW!"

"Don't worry!" Erza declared as she easily hopped over his next swing, completely heedless of the way his axe mowed down three trees like they weren't there, "I will make sure you can't hurt anyone!" Then she proceeded to go toe to toe with him. I wanted really bad to watch, because my respect and admiration for the Fairy Queen had just shot through the roof, but right then I had more pressing concerns…

"JUVIA!" I shouted, "TAKE DOWN THE ENFORCERS! NATSU! YOU AND ME ARE HANDLING THE WIZARDS! LUCY! KEEP TRYING TO CLOSE THAT GATE!"

I unleashed a barrage of flash bombs towards the golem. It wasn't lost on me that now that the pink haired wizard was having to control two forms the golem was moving a lot slower. Mega-brows was still an issue with his forcefield, but even if I couldn't hit through his forcefield, that didn't mean I couldn't blind the puppet master.

"Natsu? Juvia? As in Fairy Tail's Salamander and Phantom Lord's Rain Woman? And I guess that makes the redhead Erza Titania! What an impressive line up! Perhaps I should mention that we are part of a respected wizarding guild ourselves?" Mega-brows called as he forcefield blocked a torrent of flames from Natsu, "Does the name Lamia Scale mean anything to you?"

"Right now, it means people who work for my friend's doofus brother and don't know how to negotiate!" I shouted back as I dove aside to dodge his return fire forcefield blast, "The damned demon's already dead! We're here for the woman in the ice!"

The golem, the wizards on it, and indeed the entire battlefield went instantly quiet as my words made impact. Of course, most of them were already out cold. Half a dozen wizards is a bit much for anything except an equal number of wizards to handle. Then a voice asked from way way too close behind me, "How exactly can you possibly know that?"

I stiffened and then turned to find myself face to face with a guy in a helmet, a cape and much fancier clothes than anyone else on the island. "I'm a telepathic wizard. Ur reached out when I scanned the island for hostiles last night."

"Ur's dead," Helmet-head declared as he raised a hand which immediately started glowing with what I recognized as ice magic. I pointed, "AHA! SO YOU'RE GRAY'S DOOFUS BROTHER!"

I couldn't see his eyes, but the pause indicated a blink, "You know Gray?"

"ICE-MAKE HAMMER!"

Helmet-head's helmet was promptly rung like a bell. It even made a nice gong sound.

To Lyon's credit, he only staggered from the impact, yanking his still ringing and freshly dented helmet off and clutching his head. Granted, it was only about a tenth the size of Gray's usual Ice Hammer, but still, it would've flattened most people. The head full of spiky white hair turned a pained and indignant glare on Gray, "GODDAMIT GRAY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?! AND WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!"

Gray set the icy hammer on his shoulder, "That's how we say hello to our rivals in Fairy Tail. As for why I'm here, I came out here to retrieve my dumbass fire-breathing friend. I didn't realize I'd find more than one of my rivals out here. Iced Shell turns the user into the ice and preserves their consciousness in a state of suspended animation. Master Ur didn't know an elemental body spell, so she thought it would be the effective end of her, trapped forever as immobile and eternal ice. However, we now have someone with us who does know an elemental body spell, which even happens to be water body, and that means that as soon as Master Ur finishes melting, she'll be able to reform her body and be as good as new. Also, she's finished killing Deliora already, so no worries there either."

Lyon started stammering and protesting. I could hear the gears in his brain grinding and screeching to process that. I calmly raised a hand, "Link."

"Hello Lyon," A feminine voice echoed through my head into Lyon's.

Lyon's head snapped up and he looked around wildly, "MASTER UR?!"

"It's been a long time," Ur declared with what felt like a smile, "You've both grown up so much. I have a favor to ask of you."

"Um, okay?" Gray answered warily.

"Tell Zalty to drop the disguise. You can tie her up if you have to, but I want to hug my daughter once I have arms again."

Wait, what?

…

…

As it turned out, Zalty was the name of a stumpy little bastard in a mask that worked as Lyon's number-one sneak about. Said stumpy little bastard's appearance as such was also actually a magical disguise for a drop-dead gorgeous brunette with a body to rival Mira's as well as the power signature I'd picked up on that rivaled Erza's. I learned from Erza's being utterly floored by the reveal, that she was also a member of Magic Council.

Said drop-dead deadly gorgeous Magic Councilwoman did not take being called by her first name well. She did not like being told that her mother was alive. She really didn't like being trapped in a dome of You-Shall-Not-Pass by Yuka the Mega-brow's Wave, and surprisingly enough, for some reason she really REALLY did not like Gray and Lyon. Even more surprising though?

She HATED me.

Apparently it was somehow all my fault. This lead to another interesting revelation: Ultear's got one hell of a stink-eye on her. It was enough to make Gray and Lyon freeze up immediately, so I guess she inherited it from Ur. She demanded to know how I had known and I responded by bringing her into the telepathic conversation with Ur.

The immediate influx of hurt and rage and unless I misunderstood them, fear and betrayal, was almost enough to immediately shatter the link just from sheer overload. I tuned it to just the four ice wizards and mostly out of my head. The shouting and emotions were still there, but it was like it was going on in the apartment next door instead of inside my head.

I turned to everyone else, "Okay, Ultear is very upset, apparently mostly with Ur, Gray and Lyon. I'm hearing something about being abandoned and replaced. She is very VERY upset with me for making this telepathic conversation possible, but if Ur is right, then she'll be fine once this whatever undoubtedly sad and tragic backstory they apparently have is sorted out. Now everybody stay on your toes because Ultear's a powerhouse, and if that conversation goes badly, then she can probably find a way out of that bubble and whip everyone here except maybe Erza all at once, and she could probably throw down evenly with Erza." That earned some politely disbelieving stares.

Then the temperature started plummeting. I glanced around nervously and I wasn't the only one as our breath started to steam and ice started forming on every available surface at an absolutely alarming rate. "The question now…" I breathed, "Is which one of them is doing that?"

Then the floor exploded as a massive…thing of ice erupted through it, and I'm not ashamed to admit that I came within an inch of wetting myself in surprise. Snow started howling through the room as the temperature plunged even lower. Then I noticed something that made me go pale, "YUKA! THE DOME!"

"HOW THE HELL DID IT FREEZE?!" Yuka shouted over the roaring wind.

Then a voice replied, cutting through the howling localized blizzard easily, "Nothing gets between a mother and her children." Then the flash frozen dome shattered and Gray and Lyon were thrown towards where it had been.

A moment later the blizzard settled down, leaving the entire room covered in snow. We all blinked in confusion and then did doubletakes as we realized there was a beautiful dark-haired woman who looked like a short haired version of Ultear hugging her, Gray and Lyon. Ultear was crammed in the middle and looking a bit stunned.

Silence reigned for what seemed like a long time and then Gray and Lyon seemed to register what was going on and hugged Ur back. I'm not sure which one of them said, "Welcome home big sis."

That was apparently the straw that broke Ultear's… recalcitrance? Reservations? Resentment? The point is she started bawling like a baby and it was messy and sweet and I was very glad I had my Archive because I did not have a camera. Thankfully though, Archive was able to compensate and that picture wound up on no less than four mantles. I could not have been gladder to have put Juvia in telepathic contact with Ur the instant we were in range.

What? I like my contingency plans! There was no guarantee that we'd be able to actually get anywhere near the temple, and we honestly didn't need to for me to connect Juvia to Ur and transfer the elemental body spell that would save Ur, so why wait?

The results clearly spoke for themselves after all.

Now if only Ur's entrance blizzard hadn't caked enough snow and ice onto my face for me to have a full-blown Santa beard of it… Then Erza, Juvia and Lucy noticed and started giggling at it…I reached up and idly scratched it as I conjured an illusion of a Santa hat and turned my cape red to match, I wonder if I should grow my beard out?

I threw my hand out to the side with a wannabe suave look at them, "It is I! Santa Jerry!" All three girls immediately lost it cackling.

…

…

After the tearful reunion had mostly dried up, Ultear stepped back with a smile as bright and happy as any at Fairy Tail, "I have to go for now, there's someone I have to go and see, but I'll come see you at Fairy Tail as soon as I can."

Ur looked at her with an eyebrow quirked knowingly, "Is this about what you were hiding from our telepathic conversation?"

Ultear went pale and started stammering as Gray and Lyon started grinning smugly. Apparently they'd been on the receiving end of that look before quite often. Ur smiled and hugged Ultear again, "Don't stay away too long this time okay?" Ultear almost started crying again, but instead she just nodded and then turned and absolutely booked it for the shore.

I blinked at her rapid departure and then I turned to the three remaining ice wizards, "Okay, so…Ms. Ur and Lyon, are you two coming with us to Fairy Tail or…?"

Lyon coughed lightly, "I'm, actually already a member of Lamia Scale along with my team. The old hag will be angry with us for being gone so long, but I very much doubt she'll kick us out."

"You know she's gonna spin us," Mega-brows Yuka grumbled. A guy who looked very erm…dog like (and I mean that in the best possible way, he seriously looked like a dog!) shouted that the aforementioned hag, who I guess was the guild master of Lamia Scale, was going to be furious with them.

"It's only because she loves us," the girl that had taken over Taurus's body declared.

Lyon nodded, "True. That being said… Master Ur, you should totally join Lamia Scale instead of Fairy Tail!"

"WHAT?!" Everyone from Fairy Tail except me exclaimed. I just face palmed.

Before a fight inspired by guild pride could erupt, Juvia stepped forward, "Um, actually…I think Lyon might be right…but I swear there's a good reason!" she added in terror as Natsu, Gray and Erza gave her a triple death glare that made her seem to shrink down to a tenth her size.

"And what reason," Erza asked as she not-so-subtly summoned a sword, "might that be?"

"Phantom Lord's about to declare war on Fairy Tail and Master Jose aims to wipe you off the face of the earth?" Juvia squeaked, seeming to shrink smaller with each babbled word, "Juvia's really sorry and she argued against it as best she could? Please don't kill Juvia…" There was a protracted and thoroughly stunned silence, and then…

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!" everyone from Fairy Tail, me included this time, plus everyone else who understood the import of that, which was everybody, screamed.

Juvia's legs gave out in fear and she broke down in terrified sobs as it all poured out. Granted, it now made sense why she had been terrified to find out that Laxus and Mystogan were in town even as Gajeel was taking off to go find his long-lost siblings and the mission be damned.

Apparently Master Jose of Phantom Lord was a seriously egotistical prick who was feeling threatened by Fairy Tail's awesomeness. Apparently Phantom Lord and Fairy Tail had been rivals since their conception, with their respective first masters having been enemies, so this feud was not new. However since Jose had gotten the job from Lucy's dad and found out that Lucy was with Fairy Tail, Jose's paranoia had skyrocketed and he'd thought that Fairy Tail was trying to buy our way to the top using Lucy's family's money. Apparently, Lucy was the only child of one of the richest men in the kingdom. I tucked that information away for later musing even though I knew it didn't make a damn to how I viewed her. She was still my friend.

Juvia explained how Jose had sent her and Gajeel to take Lucy by force and provoke Fairy Tail into storming Phantom's main base of operations where an ambush would be set up for Master Makarov by the entirety of their S-Class. This was at an additional request from Lucy's father to eradicate Fairy Tail which had only cemented Jose's half-baked plans to start a guild war with the aim of Fairy Tail's wholesale destruction. Lucy looked horrified, Gray and Natsu were a hair's breadth from absolutely losing it, Erza was so pale with rage that I was starting to legitimately worry about her health, and I was an ample plenty of ready to go kill Lucy's dad in the slowest most painful manner I could think of.

"Why are you telling us this?" Erza ground out.

Juvia looked like she wanted to cry some more and then she gathered herself to mumble, "Because Juvia likes you all… Juvia…Juvia wants to be friends with Fairy Tail. In Phantom Lord, we…we don't have friends. Nobody does, but Juvia especially because Juvia makes it rain all the time… Even among the Element Four only Gajeel really likes Juvia…and Master Jose shot down Juvia's protests without even considering them for a moment… Fairy Tail just…seems so warm and happy…is…is it wrong for Juvia to want to switch?!" She asked desperately.

That took us all by surprise. "You want to leave Phantom and join Fairy Tail?" Erza asked in surprise.

Juvia poked her fingers together with a blush under her tear stained cheeks, "Um…if, if that's alright…with Gajeel gone and only the Element Four left to face off against three of Fairy Tail's S-Class, the Thunder Legion, Natsu, Gray and Jerry, Juvia thinks Master Jose is biting off more than he can chew. Juvia thought it was a bad idea even before she knew Laxus and Mystogan were in town, but with those two around?" she winced.

"Juvia's not suicidal, and Juvia doesn't think Totomaru can beat Natsu, also Sol's a big mean dummy and Aria's no better. So if the Mech-Giant doesn't work, and Juvia thinks it doesn't stand much chance given what you all did to that demon Eisenwald summoned, Juvia saw the pictures you know…" she took a shaky breath, "then Phantom doesn't really have any trump cards good enough to beat the rest of Fairy Tail." She exhaled with a sudden flash of annoyance and pouted in a way that was unwittingly very cute, "But does anyone listen to Juvia? Nooooo…fight Fairy Tail they said! It'll be fun they said! Juvia's seen Fairy Tail fight and she wants absolutely no part of it!"

Then Lyon seemed to teleport over to rest a hand on her shoulder as he leaned down with a bright smile, "Oh you don't want to join Fairy Tail Juvia, you should come join Lamia Scale! We're much better than those hooliGANS!"

He went flying as Gray set his ice golf club on his shoulder and quirked an eyebrow, "Fooour. Ice Make Golf-club. Don't diss my guild Lyon."

I missed what came next because Erza immediately had me calling Master Makarov to warn them. Master Makarov laughed and relayed the image of a guy with mismatched black and white hair and a red ninja outfit trying to balance on a new dunking booth while dodging pillows being thrown by half the guild. I burst out laughing as Master explained it over the screen I had pulled him up on with Archive. Juvia went slightly bug-eyed at the sight.

"Totomaru there, the Fire Element of the Element Four, tried to set the Guild Hall on fire," Master explained with a smug grin, "He didn't realize that Natsu does that at least three or four times a week and our anti-Natsu measures caught him. Now everyone's using Totomaru to test out the new dunking booth, and Sol, the Earth Element, is over there." He turned the screen to reveal a green haired man tied up, hanging from the ceiling and covered in confetti while being used for a piñata…by Elfman.

Master grinned, "Mira caught him snooping around Jerry and Lucy's apartment building and called down half the guild on him." Erza nodded approvingly while Juvia twitched ever so slightly. Master grinned, "We also already got full and signed confessions from both of them admitting what Juvia just told you, so we've got blackmail material on Phantom out the wazoo now. Jose tries anything now, and I can throw him to the Council like a doggy bone." He cackled, "Let's see 'em say I run the most troublesome guild in the kingdom now!"

Juvia's eyes went a little wider and then her expression fell and she declared flatly, "Juvia would like to join Fairy Tail immediately. Phantom Lord has far too many dummies in it."

Master smiled, "We'd be delighted to have you Juvia. You're not here yet, but I'll go ahead and say it, welcome to Fairy Tail!"

Juvia perked up at that and then frowned worriedly, "Can Juvia bring Gajeel? Gajeel's the only good thing in Phantom Lord. Juvia would like to keep her best friend."

My smile widened as Master grinned, "The more the merrier!"

Juvia smiled, "Yay!"

…

…

Juvia took a moment to visibly steel herself and then she nodded to me, "Okay, I'm ready." I nodded, "Putting you through."

A guy with a long mustache and a pony tail who looked every bit the slime ball I'd been warned he was appeared on my screen, "Hello? Who is this?"

"Master Jose, Juvia would like to report," Juvia replied.

Jose's eyes widened and then, "There you are! Where the hell have you been Juvia? You were supposed to report in with the Heartfilia girl yesterday!" He looked to either side of the screen, "And where's that moron Gajeel? Who's projecting for you? I know neither of you can do this."

Juvia's face screwed up in rage at the abuse. "That is what Juvia was calling to report about," she ground out.

"Oh, well why didn't you say so?! Get on with it!"

Juvia held her temper in check…narrowly, "Juvia has found Lucy Heartfilia. Lucy Heartfilia was on the S-Class quest to Galuna Island. That quest has now been completed. Gajeel has taken leave of absence to find his family. Juvia will be escorting Lucy Heartfilia to her home and sending the guild's twenty percent of the reward money to you." There were numerous choked back exclamations of TWENTY PERCENT?! Even I raised an eyebrow, that was quadruple what Fairy Tail got of our winnings.

Jose frowned and then roared, "WHAT?! HOW DARE THAT BONEHEAD ABANDON HIS MISSION! I OUGHT TO KICK HIM OUT FOR THIS! HELL, I THINK I WILL…" he made a visible effort to control his shouting and then, "Get the Heartfilia girl back here at once and be ready! Totomaru and Sol should be back soon from burning down the Fairy Tail Guild Hall, and the stupid fairies will no doubt be hot on their heels!"

Juvia twitched as she made a very good effort to keep her voice steady, "Juvia does not think you understood, Master Jose," the venom dripping from his name as she spat it out was almost palpable, "Juvia is taking Lucy Heartfilia to her home and completing the job. It will be Juvia's lastjob for Phantom Lord so she is sending the guild's twenty percent to the Guild Hall by mail. Did Juvia make herself quite clear, Master Jose?!" Juvia's voice had risen to a near shriek of fury by this point and she took a second to gather herself before continuing.

Jose's face went blank in shock and then Juvia continued acerbically, "As for Totomaru and that bungling moron Sol, those two botched. It. They got caught and told Fairy Tail everything, even signing written confessions Juvia hears, and also Councilwoman Ultear Milkovich's mother is standing right here listening to you along with representatives from Lamia Scale, ALL OF WHOM HEARD THE WHOLE THING. So in short…" she declared coldly, "Phantom Lord is as good as defunct."

"On top of that," she added as Jose went ghostly pale, "all but maybe Gildarts of Fairy Tail's S-Class are currently in Magnolia at Fairy Tail's Guild Hall, or standing right here next to Juvia, as well as their counterpart to Gajeel, his equally formidable rival, the rival's brother from Lamia Scale who would probably jump to Fairy Tail's aid in a heartbeat along with his very formidable team, and the wizard who took out the entirety of the Eisenwald Guild in less than two minutes who was not in fact Mystogan. In short, they have at least half a dozen wizards of the Element Four's caliber or better, as opposed to Phantom's four with Gajeel not fighting, one of which is Juvia, who is quitting, and two of which have already been subdued, therefore they don't count. So you are out-gunned at least half a dozen to one, on top of having lost the element of surprise and Master Makarov having you by the balls with those confessions."

Juvia paused for a moment to let that sink in and then, as Jose looked to be in serious danger of at least fainting and possibly having a full-on heart attack, she continued with a little sniff, "Juvia expects Totomaru and Sol will drag themselves back to the guild after Fairy Tail finishes publicly humiliating them for their amusement, but Juvia will not return and she will tell Gajeel not to either. Juvia is completing this one last job for Phantom and that. Is. IT. So, that being said, there is only one thing left for Juvia to say!" Juvia all but shouted.

Jose flinched back in surprise and no small amount of what looked like fear at Juvia's fury, then Juvia's face softened and she said quietly, "Thank you. For everything." She nodded to me sharply and I cut the transmission.

Juvia took a deep breath, tilted her head back and screwed her eyes shut. Then there was a burst of purple light from her thigh and a strangled "EEP!" escaped her in a way that let anyone who heard it know that she was doing her very best to hold back an outright scream of pain. It only took a fraction of a second for us to realize she had just erased her own guild mark.

Gray, Lyon and I jumped to catch her if she fell, with everyone else present only half a second behind us, but she raised a hand to still our concern and ground out as she fought back tears, "No. Juvia made this choice, she'll…I will stand by it."

"Alright," Gray replied as he stepped forward anyway and set a hand on her shoulder, "But if you need anything, we're here for you." Lyon and I both nodded and I saw everyone else doing the same. A pained grimace twisted across Juvia's face as she cracked her watery eyes ever so slightly and nodded jerkily, "Yep."

Then Gray pulled her into a hug and Juvia went completely still for a moment. I think Juvia might have cut loose the absolute flood of tears she was holding back right then…if not for one little thing.

Said thing being that the flood promptly evaporated as she looked up at Gray in annoyance and growled out with a dangerously twitchy grin, "Gray. Where. Are. Your clothes?"

"AW CRAP! WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN?!"

Cue Juvia chasing Gray around the forest calling him a pervert while I used Archive to play some appropriately wacky chase music and everyone howling with laughter. I could be misremembering, but I'm certain in a gasp for breath to fuel further laughter, I heard Lyon mutter with a grin, "Good old Gray…"

Then Ur pulled him into a hug with a mischievous grin and made him blush as red as Erza's hair as he realized that she had just pulled his face straight into her cleavage and her shirt was conspicuously missing. "WHERE ARE YOUR CLOTHES?!" That only redoubled the laughter.

Then Ur asked him in a sultry voice, "Where are yours?"

"AW CRAP! WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN?!" I couldn't help it. I freakin' lost it and laughed until I couldn't breathe.

...

NEXT TIME, on Mad Little Slice of Heaven...

There was a sound of gauntlet meeting skull, face meeting floor and flying cat being snatched out of the air. Erza's death glare landed on Lucy and she absolutely growled, "MARCH."

Then they all remembered. All three of them went ghostly pale and Lucy turned and obediently marched in front of Erza over to Master Makarov while Erza dragged Natsu and Happy. I followed behind them along with Gray and Juvia in the silence that immediately fell in wake of Erza, well…pulling an Erza.

Master immediately righted himself and sobered up from where he'd been reclining in his usual spot on the bar and put on his best serious face. To my surprise, he had a remarkably terrifying serious face even when he barely came up to my waist. A part of me wondered if he had given Erza lessons on it at some point, because his was scarier.