Ch 144: It's coming out all wrong

~ Of course there was something up and I debated if this would be a good time to speak with him about how I feel. So I take another second to collect on how I wanted to address this matter with him.

"Yes, it's about marrying you," I said stressed facing him.

"Talk to me about it," Cory said calmly and gave a half-smile.

I took a breath and asked. "Are you sure about choosing me as a Primary Queen? Why not take Rachel? It seemed like you liked her once. Even enough to fight over her with your cousins when you were a teenager."

Cory chuckled out loudly. "She wasn't the only one I fought over." He shared, "I'll admit I liked her during my teenage years."

"What happened?" I asked a bit thrown off by his uncanny reaction.

With hardly any care, Cory told me. "People change when you're young so feelings change. Once I did think, I felt something for her. Until I realized it wasn't anything real. She was more like a toy to me. If it was real the feelings would've never faded. When you feel something true for somebody a hybrid man just knows it."

Yet, I felt he wasn't understanding me here. "Yes, but that's my point about you and me. What if I'm just another toy for you and you find out that you don't feel anything for me?" I asked him, hoping to get through to him.

Cory nodded and said softly. "Sally, I don't see you as a toy. I have more value in you than you realize."

My mouth almost dropped to see I wasn't getting anywhere with him but tried again by asking. "How can you truly know for sure?"

Cory sighs for a second and said trying to explain. "First off, I am not a teenage boy anymore. My hormones aren't off the rocker and we are grown, adults. We both have a higher sense of maturity. Otherwise, during the adolescent years, I would've needed help from another grown male adult to understand what I felt for you. Now I'll admit, JJ did help to stop denying what I already knew."

But I was only getting more confused and asked. "What are you saying, Cory?"

First, he seemed to swallow hard on my question. "I am trying to say what I feel for you is real. He replies dryly.

But I hissed getting annoyed at him. "But you don't know that, Cory!"

"Sally, I do know that," he exclaimed.

Yet, I saw he was choking on his words. This had to be some sorta deception he was trying to pull over me. So I turned away and looked into the water. As I heard him sighing lightly.

"Sally," he commenced and touched my face to look at him. "When you're young you don't always understand what you feel. My mind wasn't clear enough to help me recognize what I was feeling for Rachel during that time. If you're finding other girls still attractive. It's a hint to say it's not a true connection. Understand, whenever I courted Rachel, I still found other girls attractive too. I played the same games with her as I did with the other girls..."

I pushed his hand off me and snapped interrupting him. "This explains nothing! It only shows you are a womanizer! You won't view me any differently!"

Cory was set back on how she was reacting. So he calmed himself and tried again to notice Rachel was a sensitive topic for her. "Just please hear me?" He implored me but neither denied my accusation of him. But the way his eyes were pining melted my aggravation and I nodded once for him to continue.

"Sally, things are way different with you," he continued seeming flustered by his words. "Compared to then my mind is more than clear enough to know we are perfectly compatible with each other. As a man grows older our feelings are different. We can recognize what we feel without another adult pointing it out to us. Compared to if it were to hit you at a younger age. Being a grown adult gives you a better idea to recognize your feelings."

"Cory, your not making any sense," I told him raising a brow.

So he tried again using a different approach. "Some kingdoms and Barons can have more than one wife, but out of their wives, they can only truly love one of them. The wives they don't love can feel the effect..." He stopped thinking it still wasn't coming outright.

"That's my point! What if that fades? What if you find out you're not compatible with me and I'm not for you either. Then you and I are stuck together! It didn't work out for Nick! Maria told me some of the story." I retorted since I didn't understand what he was trying to explain to me.

Again Cory shallowed hard frustrated what himself. 'Why is it so hard to tell her how I feel!' He yelled in his head as he rubbed his face and then noticed she was giving him a weird look like he was a lunatic.

"Sally, Nick's situation was different. She wasn't part of our Kingdom and Nick chose to let her go by breaking his bond connection. She wasn't getting along with most of us here and she was disrespectful to me and it was causing issues. Other Society Kinds like Average, don't always get along with Kingdom Kind. Nick let her love fade for him to only regret what he has done. If he would've known she was pregnant before the divorce. He always says he never would have allowed her to leave him. She would have been forced to join the kingdom under our rules. He would've been strict with her until she learned. And he also would have done his part in making her love him again." He explained.

But I turned my head away from how upset I was getting. He was pointlessly rambling on such irrelevant nonsense! That had nothing to do with anything I am saying.