Day 13 "Birthdays & Expectations & Random Talk"

Just had some heart palpitations again.

Aside from that, I'm looking forward to my nephew's birthday.

Because it means I get to—

Just ate a snack to distract myself.

—go outside and eat food.

And meet my other family members.

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The dog got in and I had to brib—convince the dog to get out.

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Just heard grandma say that we're not going.

I know I shouldn't be, but I'm disappointed.

Hear me out.....

There's free food.

Free. Food.

How could I pass up free food?!

She says 'We' can't.

I'm—okay let's relax.

I was looking forward to it too...

They don't want to go.....they said it's gonna rain anyway.....I sigh...

I wanna cry.....

Free food...

Now my headache got worse.

Change subject.

I haven't been updating for days. Thing is, I don't know what to talk about. I know there's a lot going on....even of it's just a day.....so I'm trying to just talk about whatever.

Like how the grass looked green today or something.

I have some drafts. Yeah. They're there for now.

Still thinking about the birthday.....

I thought maybe, if I could get out and meet and see other people, I'll feel better and since there are a lot of people to interact with, the chances of me thinking negative thoughts will lessen. Which was proven a few days ago when we went to the sea.

Sure the ride was a bit uncomfortable, and the day didn't start as one of those okay days, but....

Okay just had a heart palpitation....

As I was saying, yes the day started....not okay, but after that, it was okay. Had fun.

I was also determined to have fun so there's that. But the people played a big part in me having fun.

So.....

I was really looking forward to going.....

I feel lethargic.

There's barely any entertainment around and my only chances of going out besides buying things from the stores are events such as birthdays!

I.....haaaaaa....I don't know.

I thought about just knocking next door. And ask to be a part of someone's friend group.

I thought about it.

And I decided to not do it.

Yes, I'm still upset about not going to the birthday and.....is this called brooding?

Searched it up and wow. Nice word. I kinda like it.

So yes....I'm brooding.

Sounds foreign the more I kept looking at 'brooding' and repeating it over and over in my head.

You know I've been told I might have adhd.

I'm not even sure if I have adhd. I mean I've thought about it.

I still don't completely understand what that is.

I'm still thinking about the birthday.

As for the update schedule. It's mostly on the same time. And I've considered having an irregular update schedule. For fun.

I know. It's annoying. In a way.

I thought if it's irregular, I could keep up better with the missed days.

I just answered a call! From the answering to the talking ahhhhhhh! I did it!

First one in a long time.

Yay!

Let's recharge plus celebrate by watching some My L*ttle Pony.

I've been binge watching it. And before that was S*fia the first.

I've invited some people to watch them with me. They refused. So I binge watched them all myself.

Another heart palpitation.....

The irregular schedule sounds so sweet right now. Like, I just want to say a lot of things in one go.

I wanna try it. Like, right now.

I'll finish this and upload this and start typing the next one then upload it...

I'm hesitating again...

Okay, how about we try the irregular schedule idea, could be uploaded anytime, until we catch up? Or try it for a few days?

I guess it's worth a try.

Until next chapter!

Bye~