Everyone loves Karin.

The next day

Haku was working with a tight frown on his face, this damn guy!

Tenshi was watching over his shoulder with his arms crossed, squinting at the coffee that came out. This Haku guy… Was it so difficult to make coffee?!

Haku wanted to cry, if the coffee wasn't perfect it was trash! How many coffees had he made already… Over 100 right?!

One time the taste was a single iota different and Tenshi threw the entire thing outside! Another time he tasted it before making Haku taste and then making one himself, showing him the difference before throwing them both out.

The requirements were even stricter than becoming a ninja!

This was ridiculous!

And so, Haku tirelessly made coffee for weeks…

Finally!

Halfway through the month break between the second and third portion of the Chunin Exam…

Tenshi tasted a coffee and said "Finally." Haku shed tears of joy, finally! Finally! Tenshi nodded before throwing the coffee out the window, "FINALLY MY FUCKING TASTEBUDS WERE RUINED BY YOU! COME HERE!" Haku got a 7 move combo before sprawling out on the ground.

Tenshi flicked the coffee slime off his hands and covered them up again. Even wiping his hands with a clean rag before covering them.

He snorted and said "That time was acceptable." Haku cried on the ground, "Why did you hit me then?" Tenshi snorted and nodded, "Because you really looked like a woman just now." Haku got up and angrily accused, "You hit women!?"

Tenshi nodded and raised his hands saying proudly, "These hands are gender neutral! I'll hit anyone!" before shouting, "Anko! Enough Tiramisu! You're going to blow up like a balloon soon!" Anko pouted sadly and Tenshi wiped the counter with a rag, shaking his head as he returned to his normal gentle and kind tone, "Then we'll have to roll you away, Anko-san. That's no good. What if you can't fit through the door? How could I lose my precious customer?"

Anko was touched and wiped her eyes, "Moderation is key!" Tenshi smiled gently, "Mhm… Work out every night… For me, 'kay?" Anko waved her fists, "Okay!" Tenshi glanced at Haku and winked at him furiously.

Haku walked over and took Anko's empty cup, he tucked a bit of hair behind his ear, looking at her gently, "For me too, okay? Anko-chan~" Anko felt like she was in heaven and nodded, "Alright!" before rushing out.

Haku and Tenshi grinned evilly.

Turns out looking like a woman had its perks.

Kakashi sighed and shook his head as he read 1984, sipping on his coffee.

Naruto slapped the table and graduated from a Hot Chocolate to a Moka, laughing his head off, "Hahahaha! She was so serious during the second exam! Turns out she has a Ladyboy thing! Hahaha!" Sakura smacked him into the table headfirst, saying angrily "Don't hit the table! Clean up! I almost spilled my coffee!"

Sasuke was staring at the swirling darkness that was his Espresso, feeling attuned with the abyss in his soul…

Sitting at the table… near the bookshelves…

An old looking guy with a huge tuft of white hair was reading 50 Shades of Grey with an enthralled face, "Oh god! This! This is peak art!" he even had an Espresso with him.

Naruto ran over and said "Pervy Sage! Let's go train!" The guy looked at the book and then Naruto before seemingly having an internal struggle.

Naruto waved his arms, "You can rent the book for 200 Ryo!" the guy lit up and rubbed his palms, "How about you… pay for me?" Naruto's face froze and he waved his fists on him, shouting "Damn you! Damn pervy sage!" the guy snorted "No pay no training!"

Naruto sighed and sulkled to the counter, paying for the book rental…

Tenshi smiled, waving "Jiraiya-san, please return the book soon enough." Jiraiya waved the book and ran out with Naruto holding onto him.

Kakashi looked at Sasuke, who was brooding, before dragging him off as well, leaving Sakura to sit there alone.

Gaara, Temari, and Kankuro were sitting at a table, drinking coffee.

They saw the Hot Sand method and ordered coffee from it.

Though it was alright, they didn't really like it… but then Tenshi gave them all Cold Coffee made by Haku as he chilled the coffee in an old Lon Lon Ranch jug. Then they were all very happy.

Being in the desert all day, they never saw a cold drink before, maybe not even water. These poor souls… Their leader for the Chunin Exams, Baki, enjoyed the Turkish Coffee method, it made him feel like he was back in the Sand Village playing with his friends when he was a child.

The other Village ninja were here too. They came here because they saw a lot of traffic and wanted to spy a bit, but then they had a coffee and forgot to even spy on Konoha.

Tenshi looked at all these Customers and was a bit confused, one time he asked Haku who these people were. Haku told him that they were Genin from other villages to which Tenshi said in shock, with a loud voice, "There are Villages other than the 5 Big ones?!"

He offended nearly every small Village ninja in the cafe.

How could this be Tenshi's fault?

Even the author didn't know!

From Tenshi's perspective as a Naruto Newbie… There really weren't other villages… It was the same as having an excellent blend then looking at burnt beans… Who would do such a thing?

Just didn't make sense really!

Village of Sound, Keys, Flowers, Grass…

Who?

Tenshi treated them as traveling customers. As the Supreme Major God of Edgelords says…

A wanderer isn't always lost.

Maybe these little guys just wanted to seem like a part of somewhere so they made fake headbands…

At any rate!

The cafe had many customers now.

Baki was even thinking of kidnapping Tenshi and bringing him to the Sand Village… But Tenshi could tell his thoughts with a glance, saying "Baki-san, forget it. I'm not going to the Sand Village."

Baki's lips twitched and Tenshi sighed, looking at Temari, Gaara, and Kankuro with pity, "Coffee needs water, do you guys even have any? Even if I go, it's useless, right?" All the Sand ninjas' eyes twitched, what do you mean?!

Of course they had water! Just not a lot of it…

Well… 'Had' was a big word…

A Mist Village Genin said happily, "We have Water! Lots of it!" Tenshi sighed at him, replying kindly, "But I don't like fighting… If I go to the Mist and someone doesn't want to pay with money but with my life, what am I supposed to do?" The Mist Village Ninjas' lips twitched.

A Grass Village Ninja said slowly, "You could come to the Grass Village…" Tenshi looked at him in confusion, asking "Huh? What's a Grass Village?" the Grass Village ninja swirled his coffee sadly, actually, he didn't know either…

Were they really a village? He didn't know anymore…

A girl with fiery red hair looked at Tenshi. He actually recognized this one!

It was Karin, everyone knows Karin.

And everyone loves Karin.

So he was going to kidnap her and force employment on her.

As for whether she agreed or not… She didn't have a real Village in the first place! Tenshi was convinced the Grass Village didn't exist. Why wear a fake headband and play ninja when you can work to earn a stable income?

You know, he paid very well!

Unfortunately for Haku… All the coffee he wasted was taken from his wages, he actually owed Tenshi at the moment, so he was working for free.

Karin drank a sweet coffee, looking upset. She didn't know that she was about to be kidnapped any day now…

Well… Anywhere was better than a fake village, right?