Suga Pov

I awoke from my sleep to find Azulia, she was standing in front of one of my mirrors crying as she touched her reflection. I couldn't make out what she was saying but it had something to do with Bea, her best friend, so I softly asked her what she was doing. She turned slowly to look at me while tears flowed down her cheeks and softly whispered.

"You saw it didn't you?"

" What do you mean?" I said to her my face contorting into a confused look.

"You saw my scar, didn't you!" she yelled this to me as if I was a villain.

I sighed "Yes, I did and you should know that your beau-"

"I'M NOT BEAUTIFUL SO DON'T CALL ME THAT I'm...nothing." She began to cry more and I went to comfort her.

Talking a step as I spoke

"Listen I don't know who or what told you that you aren't beautiful but they would have had to be blind to say such a thing to someone as beautifully misunderstood as you, and you don't deserve it. "

I saw the light in her eyes dim as she said one chilling sentence "Never will I love the feeling of you over me…"

It was in that instant that I felt that monster I hid deep within called anger awakened and In defence my mouth responded back harshly.

With a smile I spoke eyes widened " Under ME.. so..so then what ? I Wasn't enough for you "

"You need someone that will only break you more right."

She with eyes of rage stood up and let the sheet drop to show her still naked body and she pointed to her scars. They were there clear as day yet I hadn't seen them at all last night.

"HE BROKE MEEEE, and you used the same force that pushed me to hate myself." She came at me slowly and pushed me back a few steps. "You treated me the way he did as if I'm just a toy!" She stepped closer making me fall onto the bed as she got on top of me and pinned me to the bed and she said a painful truth I knew all too well. "You humiliated me and made me feel like a child that couldn't help herself. You are just like him. You'll never become a man."

"A MAN " I scoffed glaring up at her.

" YOU think you know what a man is " I spoke feeling my eyes tear up out of frustration.

I stared in her eyes my head already thinking soft a thousand way I could make her feel bad . Then it clicked I wasn't a man to her I was a monster . And if she wanted a monster the so be it . so Instead I smiled and then laughed at it . At her at this situations at... at myself.

" Your right I'm not a man and I won't ever be a Man because if what you see as a man is a monster I'd rather be a boy, at least then.. Then I won't be just a placeholder, a shadow of another man." She began to cry, her tears falling on my cheeks and I was so angry that I couldn't truly think but the monster I let out retreated as an angel appeared. It was empathy that I felt as I hugged her softly then I heard her whimper in my ear. "I am the monster, not you and not him only me." She got off of me and got dressed then headed to the hall and for the stairs.

I jumped up grabbing my pants and pulling them up before chasing after her yelling down the hall.

"Wait- wait- I'M sorry"

"do- don't go can we please talk about this. " She stopped and turned to face me with a smile, one that didn't fit her face, one that didn't fit her eyes. "Talking will never fix the brokenness that consumes me." as she said this she ran down the stairs and to the arch of the front door.

I rushed after her down the stair stumbling down the stairs a bit.

" Listen, just let me talk. I don't want to end it like this. I mean this may be it, the last time we get the chance to see each other. " and without hesitation, she said as leaving the house "It's for the best." and with that, she was gone

I could only stare at the door as she slammed it, leaving me lost in self-hate and confusion. I made my way back to my room. Only getting more confused.

Standing here in this room full of mirrors I couldn't feel more unperfect, more lost. I don't know whether the reflection that I'm looking at is that of a boy or a man. Was last night's version of her just a false memory. Maybe it was like a contorted mirror. It was twisted. split into two. Mine and hers. My dreams and her reality. I couldn't help but question myself after what she said. I didn't want her to walk out the door. I don't want to leave on a bad note not after what happened. Not after what I believed to be a new beginning. I couldn't bring myself to look at her the way she wanted me to not when I have this image of her in my head as someone else someone stronger. I want to see her shine at her brightest. I wanna see her smile at me like before. A smile so bright its power and innocents shines through. A smile that reaches her eyes before it fully reaches her mouth.

I don't think I've ever felt as empty as I did when she walked out the door when she showed me her mirror, a reflection that has begun to shatter just a small crack now. as I sat there in shock I heard my bandmates busting into my room with concern and worry in their eyes and as their questions rang out I spoke not a word for I couldn't seem to speak. if my words had hurt her then who's to say they won't hurt others.