Empty

"It really is quiet." I stared at the empty space that was my bedroom. It didn't feel like it had been lived it, a cold, unfeeling space that enveloped everything in silence.

She was right, it really was too quiet. Well, I had never been the sort of person to have many things to being with, considering what all my acquaintances would call my lack of humanity hindering my ability to buy things without considering their future use and whether it would affect me in the long run.

I was normal though, I think. I wasn't like I didn't care about anything at all, it was just that I cared less about things that didn't affect me and more about things that did. Like whether I'd live till the next day, or whether there'll be enough food to eat in the long run.

Like whether my brain will give out in the next moment and convince me to kill myself, throwing all my efforts out and into the trash.

Maybe I do need to furnish though, this lack of items, now that I had realised it, bothered me just enough to be annoying.

Well, since I had time, should I go and buy some things?

I might as well. It wasn't like it was a hassle.

…it was, but I wasn't going to let that inner demon in me continue to pull me down any longer than it already has.

Grabbing my bag, I headed out, much to the disgust of the voices clamouring in my head noisily.

It was noisier in the shopping mall then it was in my head.

The voices blended together, causing a sort of canopy of noise to surround me like an "all around you" sound that they have in theatres. Shaking my head a little, I continued on, dodging and weaving through the crowd like a spy running from someone chasing them.

Well, not exactly. It was more like a clumsy attempt at trying my best to dodge and weave. Like a shitty spy, would be the better wording for that.

I would die at once if I was placed into a zombie apocalypse. I would be trying to run away, and I would die immediately like a meat stick or something. I wouldn't even bother running, I would just stand there and take it. Like a champ.

My teachers would be proud, they always said I'll end up in the gutter somewhere.

Eventually, while ignoring the torturous noises in my head and the feeling of skin to skin contact with other people, I reached the store which I had been googling all this time.

It was said that this place sold a whole bunch of kink and knacks, perfect for if I wanted to buy something in particular to spice up my room. Just in general.

The store was warm and comfy, the soft yellow lighting giving the place an added sense of homeliness and peacefulness. As I walked into the store, its wooden furniture stood out to me, the store feeling more and more like a cottage the more time I spent in here.

The sounds from the outside muffled once the glass door closed, and I was greeted instead by the soft music and gentle chatter as people browsed through the store's items. I looked towards the first part that caught my eye.

A plant section, its leaves and petals waving gently in the airconditioned area. Briefly, I wondered how the wood shelves had not rotted, before shaking my head.

Maybe I'll add in a plant somewhere in the room, near the window where there's plenty of light. It would be a nice touch of green in my life, besides the dull boring combination of white wallpaper and wooden flooring.

But then again, I can't even take care of myself, so a plant would die immediately. I would immediately forget to water it once I shrink back into one of my episodes, causing it to die.

I probably won't even clean out my room once it died, causing it to rot and probably attract insects. It would be so much of/ a hassle that it wouldn't be useful at all once bought.

I turned my eyes away from the plant section. I should just buy something inanimate, so my conscience doesn't ache when it dies and disappears into the distance like some sort of ghost or something.

…really, I've never been good with metaphors, or whatever these things were called. I briefly flashed back to the sounds of my classmate who were took literature.

He was an asshole, now that I think back. He constantly showed off to anyone and everyone by using weird metaphors and similes, and everyone hated him for thinking he was smarter than everyone else.

Walking in a random direction in the store, a bright sparkly light caught my eye and I looked over, mildly curious.

Small glass jars lined one shelf neatly, all in different shapes and sizes which appeared lovely with the light reflected off them. Beside them, there were sparkly lights on display, with small boxes lined up neatly as well, their picture showing the exact same light that was on display.

It was really lovely, so lovely that it would look completely out of place with my room. Where would I even put this? I didn't have a shelf. Why was I even looking at this? This wasn't something I would be able to take care of either. It would just rot on the shelf, empty.

Even if I did place the lights inside it, I would barely turn it on now and then. It's just a waste of money, something which I shouldn't bother with.

…Seriously, why did I even come here? I just keep thinking everything isn't worth it. if everything isn't worth it, then maybe I should just go home.

I turned to the door, wanting to go out. However, no matter how much I looked, I couldn't find the door, which was very strange. Why? It was obviously right there. Did I… lose the door? That doesn't make sense. Even with my shitty sense of direction, it doesn't make sense that I would be able to lose a door. I walked around more, trying to find the door but to no avail.

Maybe I went too far into the store? But this wasn't supposed to be a really big store. When I went in, the back wall was just a few meters away from the door.

Then it clicked. This would only make sense if something very particular happened, something that has been happening a lot lately, but never in this type of situation, where I'm able to move around and make my own decisions.

I'm dreaming, aren't I. It would make sense.

My dreams have always been weird, ranging from solving puzzles to stealing the mona lisa. If I dreamt all of this up, then the moving doors and shelves not rotting would make sense.

Well then, what do I do now? I'm obviously not going to wake up by realising this was a dream, considering the fact that I haven't woken up yet. So, do I have to solve something? Or maybe spawn something in like those lucid dreams?

I tried to spawn in a chair. It didn't work. Well.

Okay, I sort of expected that, but it still hurts that even in dreams I had no control.

Well, I'm still going to have to get out of this dream somehow. Although I love escaping from reality just like everyone, I didn't want to be trapped in a store.

Particularly when the store doesn't have anything I want in it. I walked through roles and roles of shelves filled with nick nacks, trying to find the way out.

Really, this store was filled with things that I didn't care about. Why did I even come here in the first place? I don't remember anymore. I continued to walk around, picking up random things to examine while searching for the exit.

Holding a piece of plastic in my hand, I turned it around and around, trying to find the gimmick in this plasticky thing.

Was it literally just a piece of plastic? That is… really odd. There's got to be some purpose to this right? It didn't even look like anything.

Is this a joke? What was this supposed to be? It's so out of place that it felt novel.

…it's a lump of plastic.

…

I have no idea how to respond to this. How do you respond to a piece of plastic?

Silently, I held onto the plastic thing and continued to walk in a random direction.

Even f I tried to explain why I decided to hold onto this object, I wouldn't be able to. It just felt right to hold onto it. maybe it was a dream thing, like a quest item, or something.

Its fine. I've always been weird, so holding a piece of plastic in my hand would be totally normal for me.

I mustve been walking for a least an hour in my dream when the exit showed up in the form of a cash register and a door. Relieved and exhausted, I quickly placed down the plastic object and walked to the door, before pausing slightly.

The plastic object that I had not been able to define sat on the shelf innocently, as though it couldn't do any harm in this world at all.

Seriously, there couldn't be anything more useless than a strange plastic object. But somehow, I felt myself reaching for it.

Why? It was literally plastic. Ground oil turned into a solid object, that's all it was. I picked it up again.

You know what, who cares. Its useless, I'm useless, we can both be useless together somewhere.

I placed the plastic object on the counter and paid for it without batting an eye, turning once again to walk out of the glass door into the crowd again.

Holding my purchase of a strange, useless, random plastic object, I smiled slightly to myself.

Well, it might not be a potted plant or a glass jar, but I could definitely take care of a piece of plastic.

As I started to walk through the crowds and back to my home, my vision blurred.

When light streamed into my eyes once again, I was back in my bedroom, its emptiness hollowing me out.

Bolting right up, I stared into my room.

You know what?

"Let's go buy a random piece of plastic."