Chapter 4: Jack and Makeshift Inventory

[Gates of Babylon (Empty) - The bonafide storage space created for the first hero who owned all the treasures Earth has to offer. Just that yours is empty because you're not Gilgamesh, however the mechanics of the space is the same, Open which opens a portal allowing you to get an item inside, Stasis which keeps the items at the same state they were placed inside and gets them back to the same state if they are changed from the outside, Return which makes the item go back inside the storage space. Warning, don't shoot your items like that haughty Archer, G repeats, you are not The King of Heroes]

"Uwaaaah!"

I dropped down to my knees facing a wall and dramatically slamming my fist into while crying. The sheer feeling is similar to getting a SSR Servant but you have no materials to upgrade him anywhere past level 1, I can effectively feel the salt in my throat piling up.

"You don't have to rub it in! I know, I saw the fucking open parenthesis empty close parenthesis! I'm not Gilgam-"

All of the sudden, a bright epiphany slapped my brain to the reverse side of the world. I walked back to the mirror that has technically become my lynchpin to sanity, and then I observed myself once more while the image of the not so Archer, Archer compared me between him.

"He's blonde"

I looked at my hair, despite it's platinum color, it was very much still blonde.

"I'm blonde"

I nodded to pacify myself.

"He's a demi-god..."

"I'm a demi-god, hey system, how much godhood do I have in me?"

[A quarter of Shiva's blood. Though since Shiva himself if a very important God, your worth is as much as a half blood son of a Major God like Poseidon or the likes]

"Tch, so I'm not 3/4 God, damn"

With that I gave up, no point in further dropping myself to depression and just go with the flow, the gates were counted we a skill and glancing at the clock once more and then remembering the world I was in, I decided to do some important observation (Read: Fanboyism)

I picked up some clothes that I found I had, actually, maybe I should buy girl's clothing...

"EVIL SPIRIT OF TRAPS! BEGONE!"

I exorcised myself.

It was a simple white T-shirt with a "I❤️Japan" on it plus a cute anime chibi to boot and brown cargo shorts, picking up the pink socks laid near my uniform, I wore it along with a nifty looking brown calf high black boots.

I looked like someone straight out of that anime with cellphone for diaries.

Looking back at the mirror, a supremely stupid regretful action made its way to the depths of my do-this zone, I placed both my hands to frame my cheeks, let my hair down with a smile that was straight copied out of someone and muttered a few words.

"Yuuki~"

...

Gulp.

Holy fucking christ, I'm an Omega level danger to every male in the world. I pray for you Issei, let's both wish that we don't meet each other, I might just do something...gay.

Ignoring those, I walked out of the door of my cool condo and took my first step of a room, memories of me looking out the window, watching my other cousins play with joy while I watched them with only a little bit of sadness.

The memories of me envying people who made vlogs and enjoyed the world with their own 2 feet.

The memories of me wanting to got to anime-cons but couldn't because I was essentially a bag of retarded fats.

"Oh I feel fucking regretful for that one, I've missed so much limited-time posters because of that..."

I shook my head and continued my way down until I reached the ground floor. Something wet dripped down from my eyes and I stared up at the sky.

"It's not raining..."

I saw a couple pass by and the stare at me for a quick second before going back on their business, I subconsciously touched the corner of my eyes and I looked at my wet fingers for a bit.

"Ah. I'm crying for real?"

Crying for real? What an alien feeling. I smirked a bit and continued my way to observe (Read: Fanboying) the current world, especially what time I was in.

*

"Hm~ mhm~ mhm~ mhm~!"

I walked with my arms exaggeratedly swinging on my sides with a happy go lucky smiled painted on my borderline Goddess face. I've been walking around for a few hours now and according to my calculations, I'm technically before canon, which is pretty darn good.

I checked the Hyoudou household, and surprisingly, I had to manually do the translation myself. What? I was sometimes so excited that I had to watch raws so me learning Japanese was given, and I had the time, being a NEET, if it has any advantages would be the free time we had.

"She's tomboyish but cute"

That's right, I'm cute.

"Is she a foreign model?"

I'm hot like that? Sure, okay~

"I think that's a he..."

You'd be wiser than Gandalf, give or take a few centuries.

"He's so beautiful cute and handome cute that my heterosexuality is screaming while confused"

I'm ignoring that one, still I gotta service them a little.

I turned around to face the gawking fans of mine and did a peace sign to the eyes while making a cutesy closed eye smile and a cryptid joke came to mind.

"Thank you for the praises but I'm actually a futa"

Now let's wait for the reactions...what I got was a man blushing with a distorted smiled grabbing his crotch...huh?

"HUFF HUFF HUFF HUFF"

Err, uhh. I'm no stranger to creepy people considering how I was a stereotype example but... hypocritically, that's creepy.

I continued on with a slightly faster pace, I'm not really afraid of any person doing anything to me at the alleyways.

Like, I'm a demi-god biatch~

*

I didn't count for a stray devil though.

"Hey there delicious little missy, how about you spend some time with me a little?"

A man with...err, let's just say questionable mob attire was looking at me while licking his lips with that damn long tongue. He quietly followed me apparently, not that I'll ever pay attention, thinking he was just some guy creepily stalking a cute gir- guy like me.

I sighed. No, not because of the devil but my straying thoughts...

"So umm, mister? Are you taking me out on a date?"

"W-Wha-?! No! I mean something else!"

I pouted and blinked at him, I placed both my arms behind me and clasped them together while leaning a little.

"T-This... wasn't supposed to be like this"

He scratched his head, honestly, this world is a tad bit retarded huh? I smiled at him and watched as he got further flustered at my apparently insinuating gestures...well time to die stray-san

"Chrono Burst"

Testing out my brand new skill, my sudden words caught the stray a little of guard but...yeah.

He was making this weird distorted face in slow motion, with a bit of acceleration on me, and slow on him, in layman's view, I disappeared in not even a blink of an eye and he just suddenly flew away with hundreds of bruised and then me standing at his previous position with a contemplative look. I didn't bother staying and walked away with the same spring in my steps, all the while I was unaware of the Juliet Devil watching me from the roofs.

"A high level exorcist? Masaomi, the church are making their move...