Is it Wrong to Put Skyrim in Danmachi

Danmachi is a strange world.

The path to become strong here relies heavily upon skills, skills which are often only granted to you by factors nearly completely out of your control. From who you were in your past life, to your current lineage and even to bullshit like the story that forms around your actions in this life. The only elements within your control are the accomplishments you can garner and how you display them to the world.

The problem with that is, it's a lot easier to garner accomplishments that impress the gods when you have a skill in the first place.

Which of course brings you right back to past lives and lineage, and if you are say -like me- spontaneously teleported to the Danmachi world without warning, then congratulations. You have no past life to pull bullshit like the Argonaut skill from, and your lineage is limited to your family's history of heart disease.

Nice!

So how do you fix this? Generally you just don't. The best thing to do would be to settle down, use whatever skills you have to ply a trade and just live out your life in boring Isekai hell -where they barely even have fucking showers- before finally dying well below the life expectancy of wherever you were yoinked from.

But… if you're like me and have the patience of a raccoon on crack (and thus the total inability to deal with medieval society) then there can only be one option.

Fake it until you make it.

Manipulate events and people in whatever way you can to try and build up a larger than life legend around yourself. Save people, show no more weakness than is necessary to convince people that you're still just like them and more importantly than anything; grind.

Like money, strength in this world is like rolling a boulder down a hill, once you're on the right track, everything becomes easier. Garner the strength to create achievements to get more strength. It's a cycle that infests not just the skill system of Danmachi, but also its stat and level system. This cycle has only one guiding principle, keep grinding.

And for an MMO enjoyer like me? Well that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

As for how I can apply this in my current situation? Well I'm firmly in the 'manipulate events and people' stage of things, and in that regard not all attention is created equally, at least not when it comes to stories here.

To be blunt, the story obsessed Divines of Genkai are basically your best bet if you want to start things off with a bang. They're a bit difficult to manipulate given that they can sense lies, so you need to keep things pretty simple; know your target audience, appeal to their sense of aesthetics, their view of the world and then hit them right in their strike zone.

And if after that you just so happen to have some otherworldly knowledge that you can drop to blow their perspective of you out of proportion?

Well that sounds like a fantastic start.

All of which is why I snuck into an abandoned church last night and silently knocked on the door to the basement, before promptly camping out the night on one of the church's dusty pews.

Side note, talking around absolute lie detectors is a pain in the ass, I could have just showed up at dawn and pretended to sleep on the pew. Instead I had to stay the entire night just to give off the right impression and talk around the problem that might come up from my little white lie.

As I said, pain in the ass.

Still, any moment now my short stack goddess is going to come up those stairs, find my slumbering form and shake me awake. Normally that would lead to accusations of stalking, but Hestia in the anime doesn't really have a sense of danger and is more about poorly thought out displays of commitment than anything. Even if she does become suspicious, the dedication on display should be enough to move her regardless.

As for why did I pick Hestia and not someone like -only insane people looking to be brainwashed pick Freya- Loki? For one I have no idea whether I'd even be able to get through Loki's front door, being the top dogs gives them a lot of leeway in recruiting. If I were them, I'd be setting up predesignated recruitment drives, not talking to every schmuck who walks in off the street.

For two, breaking out of their shadow and garnering accomplishments that won't just be shrugged off as mere examples of my familia's power would be damn hard even within the familia, nevermind outside of it. My divine would have a hundred other children, many far more talented and interesting than me by sheer virtue of being around for longer.

Which is just about the exact opposite of what I'm going for here.

I outright refuse to be a goon.

With Hestia on the other hand; she has no children, her familia has no glory and any accomplishments I garner under her banner would be entirely my own. Hell, the mere act of raising up her banner myself is an accomplishment. As her child I wouldn't be a grunt, but the goddamn captain. And unlike Danmachi's protagonist I actually want to be respected, so damn if I'm not gonna make that title mean something.

Besides, given what I'm risking just by entering Onrario, I kinda need to set my personal strength as a top priority, and I can always-

-Is that singing?

I can't make out the words as distant as it is, but the tone is oddly beautiful. Before I even registered it I was sitting up, listening in raptured silence as I stared at the door the sound was coming from.

It was a sad song, one that conveys longing and... hope? Despite how little of it I can make out, it's almost-

The door opened and I stared uncomprehendingly into the face of the goddess Hestia, her mouth still open as she freezes in turn, her beautiful song cutting off with a, "Uwah?"

It took me a good long few seconds to realise that my plan of letting her wake me up was entirely out the window as she stared at me in confusion.

"Ah..." I state intelligently, blinking. "Lady Hestia?"

"Yes!" She answered with surprising excitement, stepping forward and leaning in to peer at me with an innocent expression of curiosity. "Hmmm... you don't look homeless and you're nice and fed so... I have no idea what you could be here for! Unless! You want to be my child?"

Her expression brightened so much that I felt a smile creep up my face before I even knew what was happening. "Oh! Did you spend the night waiting for me?" She exclaimed.

"I... yes, I tried knocking last night, but I don't think you heard me." Very quietly, but she didn't need to know that, and I was still struggling to regain some level of equilibrium in the face of her godlike enthusiasm. "I tried waiting, but I guess I fell asleep at some point; I hope you don't mind."

"MIND!? OF COURSE I DON'T!" She shouted gleefully, running over to me and taking my hand. Before I could work out what was happening, I was on my feet and she was zipping around my form, inspecting every inch of me.

"My first child haha! Oooh you're pretty built and pretty cute too, oh! And dedicated enough to wait the night for me? Uwah... you children sure are forward in what you want." She clutched her cheeks and hopped from side to side in front of me.

Divines are... a lot.

"To make the most of our short lives, we must be bold." I state softly, finally stopping the goddess's sugar rush as she blinks up at me with starry eyes. Chance. "So I'll be bold here too then Lady Hestia; my name is Elric Carne and I want to join your Familia."

I smiled gently, entirely unready for the kettle noises that promptly burst out of Hestia as the goddess vibrated in place. I was also not ready for the flying tackle hug that promptly ensued.

"YES! Yes, yes, YES~!" The goddess shouted in total excitement as she ground her assets into every inch of me she could reach. Keeping up my reassuring big brother act, I simply chuckled and returned the hug with gentle pats on the back.

This bubbling tea kettle of a goddess will not win. I won't let her drag me into her pace; I'm going for the cool heroic archetype here, nothing can bother me, nothing can throw me off my game. No matter how bubbly she is.

Her head finally popped up to stare at me with the brightest smile I'd ever seen, like joy and happiness given form, like condensed cuteness shot like a fucking hyper beam. I'm not going to lie men, this smile? It came close.

"Ehe~ My first child... What a great morni- AHHHH!" And then she suddenly screamed, right into my face. "MY JOB!" Bursting out of my arms she wheeled around in confusion, glancing at me several times as she seemingly fretted over what to do with me, before finally freezing in place, a wide grin on her face.

"Umu~ I'm sure the boss won't mind if I take just one day off for my first child!" I blinked, for a moment almost getting caught up in her antics before I felt my stomach clench and I felt it for the second time…

Chance.

"I'm sure they won't." You get the deal by now, gentle smile, gentle voice, big brother energy all around. "But even if they do, I have enough savings to support us before I can get started in the dungeon." Reliable and caring boys, reliable and caring; that's the vibe of today's performance.

Hestia's smile returns with a vengeance and- yup, she's hugging me again.

"Ehehe... You're so reliable Elric-kun!" She giggled happily. "Oooh what do you want to do first? Tell each other our likes and dislikes? Uwah, I just really want to get to know my new child!"

I hummed thoughtfully. "How about we talk about it over a cup of tea? I have some bags in my pack, or we can stop by a place I know just outside of this district."

The goddess hopped back, before leaning forward and smiling up at me. "Trying to get into my bedroom already, Elric-kun~? You're so forward..." Her expression turned impish as she fixed me with a half-lidded stare.

"The choice is yours Lady Hestia." I spoke calmly, tossing the ball back into her court.

"Umu... you're too composed Elric-kun, girls won't like you if you don't let them tease you a little y'know?" She lectured, spinning on the balls of her feet and walking off, only pausing to glance over her shoulder. "You're the first boy I've brought home, so behave, ne?"

She bounced down the passage before I could respond, leaving me blinking in the wake of the goddess shaped tornado of bubbliness.

In all likelihood, that was about as well as that encounter could have gone; I scored the right kind of impression with her and mostly resisted getting caught up in tempo. Chuckling to myself, I hoisted the large rucksack containing all the belongings I'd worked for since coming to this world and trooped after my chosen Goddess.

Descending down the wrapping stone staircase, I found myself in a surprisingly cosy basement; it was small and perhaps too cramped, with various different living spaces blurred into a single room, but it was warm and it had a homely vibe that stopped me short and brought me back to my childhood.

It was nostalgic. It was the very concept of home given form.

I blinked, trying to cut off the feeling, but it was oddly stubborn. A knot formed in my throat the more I tried to resist whatever divine bullshit was going on here, after a long moment I simply resolved to ignore it as best I could.

"You're missing home too huh?" The goddess standing amidst it all called out, her eyes seemingly seeing straight through me. "It'll get better. In fact, we'll make it better! Because that's what being part of a familia is all about~"

Pausing on the steps, I let the weight of those words settle on my shoulders, the sheer gravity of a goddess of hearth and home telling me that she wanted to make a home with me… Then I shook my head, my mind was my own, there was a very good reason I didn't even consider Freya.

"For now, this home is already more than enough." I offered politely. "Thank you for having me, Lady Hestia."

"Mou! You don't need to be so formal Elric-kun, you're making me feel old."

"My apologies, do you have a pot for tea anywhere?" There was a kitchen in the mixed space, but I couldn't see-

"Hey." Hestia was suddenly right there in front of me, her wide blue eyes staring into mine with an intensity that I hadn't seen before. Which was definitely worrying. "Do you know what I want to do right now Elric-kun?"

I swallowed. "Drink tea and chat?"

"No." She grabbed my hand and pulled me towards a ratty double bed. "You are my first and only child... so you'll forgive me if I'm a little impatient... right Elric-kun?"

I stopped, pulling her hand to turn her around. "Always." I smiled.

She smiled back. "Then get that shirt off and get on the bed! I don't have one of those fancy Falna chairs, so we'll just have to make do with this!" She announced, tugging me again to get me going.

Giving her a wry grin, I set down my pack and stripped off my upper half. "So I just lay face down?"

"That's right~" She sing-songed, pushing me onto the bed. "You're surprisingly well informed Elric-kun..."

"A lot of the people where I came from were more versed than you'd expect." I teased my knowledge, knowing the strange answer would take her off guard. Oddly she didn't react beyond humming as she swung her legs over mine and settled her bottom on top of my own.

Gloved fingers traced their way up the small of my back as soft whispers of an alien language tickled my ears, whatever she was doing back there, the hairs on the back of my neck stood up in anticipation.

"Do you know this part, Elric-kun?" The words shunted themselves into my mind as a droplet of eternity fell into the small of my back.

For the briefest of moments I could feel something more, a spark of celerity that went so far beyond humanity that I can't even begin to put it into words… and then Hestia pulled, and suddenly I was barely even human.

Having your soul pulled from your body -even just slightly- is like dangling off a cliff; held up from an unfathomable abyss by the grip of a goddess you barely even know. And here I was trying to manipulate said goddess…

I almost laughed, this was a twist I actually didn't see coming.

"Now that I've got you right where I want you…" Hestia's words came across as still cheery and light hearted, but there was a layer of suspicion to them that hadn't been there before. "How did you find me Elric-kun~?"

"Waiting until my soul is bared before asking the difficult questions huh?" I couldn't help it, I actually laughed; being interrogated by the cutesy anime Goddess was so far beyond my predictions that I couldn't keep the smile from my face.

I could feel why she waited. My soul was quite literally in her hands and it felt like if she let go now, I'd be falling somewhere.It was a fascinating feeling that shot adrenaline through me like nothing else, but more than that, it presented the perfect chance to skew Hestia's perception of me with some tactically revealed knowledge.

"I knew where to find you from the very moment I came into this world."

Glancing over my shoulder, I chuckled internally at her uncomprehending expression as she cycled through various stages of confusion.

"E-Eh?" She recovered in record time and proceeded to slap my back. "Mou! I don't know how you're messing up my goddess powers, but that isn't funny! I only descended a few months ago y'know; so you're not as smart as you think you are mister!"

"Ah, but I only came into this world a couple months back." I taunted, smirking back at her.

Oh, her brow crinkles really cutely when she frowns. "Umu… you're going to keep messing with me aren't you? You big meanie!"

"Alrighty then… where were you born originally?" She smirked a smug Hestia smile.

"London."

"Mou! What country?"

"England."

She slapped me again.

"So violent~" I teased.

"Continent!"

"Europe."

"Year!?" She asked incredulously.

"The turn of the second millenia." Looking back, I smiled a smug smile right into her gawking face. Taking her silence as my victory, I went on. "In case you haven't worked it out yet, I'm not from this world"

"...How did you get here?"

"No idea, I just blinked and there I was, nude." I play up the word, trying and sadly failing to tease the virgin goddess.

She pouted. "How did you know where to find me then?"

"In my world, this world was a story that you appeared in, it was accurate enough for me to find the ruined district of Orario and find your church."

"A story…" She turned my words over, staring at me in contemplation. "And what are your intentions now that you're here?"

"Become a hero, pick up from where the last generation left off and save the world." Best part? I actually meant that shit, just not in the classic way.

"You…" She pulled up short, staring at me in disbelief. "You actually mean that-? No wait, the story you mentioned… how did it end?" Her eyes turned intense.

"It didn't, it wasn't finished by the time I arrived here."

"Then…" She trailed off, but the unasked question was clear.

"The clues are all there; your future child -a boy named Bell Cranel who was raised by Zeus- has all the hallmarks and set up for a hero with an impossible challenge before him." I explained simply. "At best, the world will have lost too much before the end… I want to make it easier."

"Why?"

"Because I'm a noble and selfless soul?" I lie through my fucking teeth.

"Liar!" Her slap hit a little harder this time. "Mou, your first lie and it's for something like this…!"

"I'm allowed some secrets aren't I?" I chuckled.

"F-Fine damn it!" She pouted. "You… you said he was raised by Zeus? That old man is…?"

"Yeah, still a perv." I laugh, choking a little as she pinches my side. "Oi, you're getting a little too abusive there woman!"

"Then don't talk about him like that! Only we're allowed to talk about him like that!" She protested weakly, sitting up on my ass and crossing her arms over her chest, frowning down at me.

"Only if you stop slapping and pinching me."

"Sure -fine- whatever!" I could feel her pout. "You said he was raising this Bell child right?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"He was- is the child of one of Zeus' children, and after being driven out of Orario I don't think he had much else to do." I gave a quick backstory.

"Driven?"

"You don't know?" She gave me a look. "Weird, I always assumed."

"Mou, what's weird is that people I don't know are making assumptions about me because I'm apparently a character in a story!" Ah there it is, the turn away and pout combo. It was… adorable.

"A warranted concern, and it brings up some interesting multiversal theories that I don't mind explai- Ah!" Another pinch. "Okay, chill… Zeus being driven off right? I don't know how much is known, but Zeus and Hera's familias got so deep into the dungeon that they got it into their heads that they could finish-"

"-The three great quests, that's common knowledge Elric-kun." She interrupted quietly.

"Then there's not much else to it, they beat two, failed on the last. The dregs of the familia that survived were driven out of Orario by Loki and Freya." I couldn't help but let my tone turn a little bitter here. "...Their grand reward for putting their lives on the line to try and save this world."

It seemed Hestia shared my reticence, since she too turned quiet from the topic.

"Could we finish up this Falna thing soon? I don't mind answering any of your questions, but I can't say I enjoy having part of my soul outside my body." Navigating this conversation while feeling like I was dangling off that particular cliff was taking some creative uses of willpower. Hell, at this point one could say that I've gotten oddly used to the feeling and was just mainlining adrenaline at this point.

Which probably isn't a good thing.

She blushed furiously, staring down at the portion of my soul that was still in her hands, a small, "uwah," escaping her.

It was pretty cute.

"I-ah, yup! Can totally do that for you Elric-kun! Right away!" Relaxing back onto the bed, I tried my best to stay still as Hestia worked, tracing shallow lines across my back that tickled of rainbows. And yes I know that comparison doesn't make sense, but amazingly magic does not feel normal.

"Umu, time for the last little~" I felt something push my -me?- soul into place? Strangely it felt… cramped? as if it didn't quite fit anymore; like I'd just polished off an entire christmas dinner and tried to fit into my jeans, only everywhere. "Push!" Hestia sing-songed, and suddenly everything clicked and became so much more.

"Holy shit, I can fence." I blinked back to full awareness, knowledge I thought I'd lost coming back in full and suddenly making itself very known. 

"Eh?"

"Ah… nothing, don't worry about it." I laughed it off, trying to process the fact that I now had vastly upgraded memory. "How's it looking back there? I get anything good?"

Hestia sighed. "Elric-kun... you need to tone down those expectations! Almost every adventurer under the sun starts off with nothing but their base stats, you're just going to get let down if yo… th- eh?"

I laughed.

"Mou!" She hit me.

"Ah, my goddess is abusing me, send help please!"

"Shut up!" A double palmed slap struck my back. "Shut up! shut up-! SHUUT UP~!" Three more swiftly followed.

I didn't stop laughing.

"Uuuh, you're such a meanie…" She whined.

"Woman, you're the one hitting me." I chuckled. "Plus, I think threatening someone with their own soul is pretty mean."

"Hmph!" Hestia audibly hmph'd me, making me blink. "I had to! Hephaestus warned me about suspicious mortals."

"She made you promise to be careful?"

"Yeah! We had this whole big conversation and she- Mou!" Another hit. "You and your dumb stalker knowledge!"

"I can't exactly help that!" I protested. "How was I supposed to know I'd suddenly wind up here, and isn't it better that I'm upfront with this kind of thing?"

"How! You've got all this knowledge on me and- these things are supposed to be private!"

"True -and I feel bad about that- but the circumstances are outside of either of our control, I know these things and nothing is going to change that." I explain quite rationally. "The only choice we have is whether or not I try to hide that knowledge… and the way I see it, that'll just come between us as you wonder what I'm hiding from you."

"So, I should just be bold, right?" I ask cheekily.

"…" Hestia pouted. "You are so not cute Elric-kun."

"Yeah, I'm more of a handsome manly man." I bragged jokingly, though a hidden part of myself winced the second the words left my mouth. The adrenaline was wearing off and I could feel how much my control had slipped in the meanwhile. Most of it was just teasing Hestia, but I'd also probably said a bit too much. Still… I apparently have a skill now, so perhaps it all worked out for the best?

She sighed, exhaling a truly prodigious amount of air as she deflated and grabbed a sheet of parchment. "You wanted your stats right? Then face down mister. And after this, we'll see if you can explain this skill of yours."

I hummed, putting aside my lapse in control and focusing instead on the parchment as it stuck uncomfortably to my skin, the peculiar sensation of wet-yet-not sending a shiver down my spine. "We'll see."

"Here." The goddess bluntly said, holding the parchment out over my shoulder.

•​ ⋅☾ ☽⋅ •

Elric Carne

Lvl 1

Str | I 000 |

Vit | I 000 |

Dex | I 000 |

Agl | I 000 |

Mag | I 000 |

| Magic |

| Skills |

[Qahnaarin] The bearer's existence in this world is a miracle, their steps an impossibility; they face this new world with the stars' guidance written upon their soul.

•​ ⋅☾ ☽⋅ •​

J-J-JACKPOT!

I knew telling Hestia about my world would pull something out of my ass, but holy fucking based Elder Scrolls! Tod Howard you beautiful, terrible dev.

"Hoh…" I smiled calmly, knowing full well that it would drive Hestia up the wall.

"Hoh?" She demanded. "That's it? How are you so calm you-!" I really couldn't help the laugh that burst out of my throat, I promise.

After what felt like two 'calming' breathing exercises too many, she finally heaved out a response, "So… you know what this is then? I really hope you'll be forthcoming with your explanation Elric-kun~?"

"You don't kno- Okay, calm down." I laugh it off before she can pinch me this time. "It's something from my world, and if I'm right, it's really quite good."

"Ooooh…" She perked up. "So what does it do?"

"I obviously don't know the specifics from just this." I explained. "But Qahnaarin is a word I recognise from a certain story. In that story it's dragon tongue."

"Dragon tongue…" Hestia whispered distantly, probably something to do with the existence of the world ending black dragon that just so happened to be roaming this world as well. Ah Alduin, I'm going to milk the very idea of you for clout aren't I? "What does it mean?" 

"Don't know." I answered truthfully. "I only remember that the protagonist of that story was named that by a dragon. Not sure how your Falna knows about it to be honest, I doubt I'd have remembered even this much without the Falna boosting my memory." I trail off, leaving the unsaid question up in the air.

"The Falna is…" She trailed off uncertainly, not finishing the thought. "Actually that bit doesn't matter." She tried to laugh it off, but I could hazard a guess at what she was going to say regardless. "The point is, normally a god needs to give form to skills during their creation, but here…"

I hummed, thinking over the implication and ultimately setting it aside. After getting the old boot into another world, I couldn't really consider anything about myself to be normal; the only real question was whether that abnormality was good or bad, and here?

Well, free skills are always good.

"Don't you also need high class experience for skills?" I fished for slightly more info. I knew certain races could have skills from the jump, but the actualities of the Falna were frustratingly vague in the anime.

"Excelia." She corrected me absent-mindedly. "And we normally do but… Mou~ can you not be normal for two seconds?" She whined.

"Please, we both know you love this." She slapped my back weakly as I laughed. "You Gods and your boredom."

"I won't stand for this slander!" She declared with a pout, before coughing and looking away. "But I might consider forgiving you if you tell me about this story…"

I shifted a bit uncomfortably at that, not really sure where to begin given the sum total of… well, the drug fueled frenzy that is Elder Scrolls. Also there was a Goddess sitting on me and while she did have a rather plush ass, the position was bound to get uncomfortable if I spent the next however many hours explaining what I remembered of Elder Scrolls lore.

"Skyrim…" I turned the word over before ultimately deciding to go in from a top level. "It was like a story you could interact with, where you could play the role of the hero and make choices utilising… really, really advanced books." She perked up at the concept, looking surprisingly- wait, no that isn't surprising at all.

Of course these neet Gods would be interesting in gaming.

Deciding to strike while her interest was high, I gave her a rundown of the main story in Skyrim, explaining some of the systems when prodded, but always bringing it back to the main plot and thus Alduin. I could feel her shifting at the information, the parallel being laughably clear.

This world had a large black dragon problem? I just so happened to have a skill named after a large black dragon slayer.

It's like poetry, it rhymes.

Now give me more power.

"And the skill?" She asked quietly and rather seriously. So I leaned around, making eye contact to convey my own seriousness in turn.

"No idea." I held onto that seriousness for all of a second before I cracked up, laughing as the Goddess promptly fell off my back with a groan. Absolute lie detectors were bullshit and deserved to be messed with on principle.

Eventually she turned a gimlet eye up at me. "You lied." She accused.

"A bit." I agree.

"A lot!" She raised an arm to try to hit me, but I scooted out of reach of her grabby little gremlin arms.

"Elric~" She whined.

"Alright." I said placatingly. "The skill mentions the star's guidance right? The game had a similar system, where your character's skills were listed out in a star system."

"A skill of Skills?" Hestia breathed.

"Potentially, like I explained before, Skyrim had a few different power systems. I could have some of that, all of it, or it might be something else entirely. Hence why 'I don't know'." I finished with a smile. "You see anything in the skill; stars maybe?"

"Eeeeh…" She gave off an almost dazed sounding exhale. "I- ah… don't remember? Ehe~"

"A bit daunting huh?" I sympathised.

Her eyes met mine, a surprisingly serious expression taking hold. "More than a bit…" She smiled. "But you're my first child; you're worth it."

Ah... I really don't have a response to that. Damn, this Goddess really is emotional whiplash personified huh?

But I supposed I signed myself up for this.

"Well, let's just try some shit out, see what works."