Milking Mayakovsky.

"We were...in the air and I could feel it, the flow, the world....it was all...." Alice muttered.

"It was like everything fit. Just right." Quentin said.

We were all sitiing in a great hall at Brakebills South, the only light coming from candles lit up on the long rough wooden table.

Kady walked into the room eyeing Penny.

"Penny can we ...talk?"

"Birds." Penny spat out an insect from his mouth, ignoring her, "Never shit so much in my life." He whined, "But hey, at least I got to eat insects so....that."

"Well, first time for everything huh?" I said, as I watched Yue pick out insect legs from her teeth too.

Geese are wild.

"Now snow. God I hate snow." He added.

"Ok, what's up with you? You're being whinier than Quentin." I asked.

"I'm not that whiny... " Quentin protested.

"Florida boys aren't meant for Antarctic weather." He replied.

"No shit sherlock. Deal with it."

Penny just rolled his eyes and sat down beside us.

"We were told to report here right? By the TA or something?" Kady asked.

"Yes. But the TAs led another eight students to the library so maybe they're late?"

"Mayakovsky? Late. Not a chance." I said.

"Who knows with his type. I heard he's a crazy drunk." Penny scoffed.

"You heard wrong!" A voice boomed across the hall as Mayakovsky sat up from the chair.

He was an older man, easily in his fifties or sixties, white and puffed up in winter clothing, his scraggly two day beard glittered in the dim light.

"How long have you been here?" I asked jokingly.

Of course I knew he was here from the start.

"Long enough, kiss-ass." He said, with authority, "Sit."

I looked at Kady who was still idling about standing up.

"Sit down. I do not ask and I do not order twice." He spoke with a thick russian accent, as he took a swig from his vodka.

"So we're her to study with him?" Kady eyed the man.

"I hate you." He said, out of the blue, "I hate all of you."

"And you know why?" He continued, as papers appeared on the table.

"The Hammer Charm of Legrand." Quentin noted, "We know this."

Mayakovsky nodded as if he was expecting that answer.

"I hate all of you, because you don't know anything." He paced around us, "You learn magic like parrot learns Shakespeare. Tricks for birdseed." His gaze scanned the room, "You are all clever pets."

"You." He pointed to Kady, "Sultry-And-Damaged. What is the Hammer Charm of Legrand?"

"It's um... It's the.... " Kady struggled to answer and he interjected.

"One day your looks will be gone." He snapped his finger in front of her face, "And unless there's a brain behind those batting eyelashes, "You will be selling oranges at an off ramp."

"It's a spell that makes nails go into the boards completely straight." Kady answered.

Instantly, nails rained down onto the table.

"You think you know how to do this.

I assure you, you do not." He looked at us condescendingly.

Quentin, miffed, tried to cast the spell.

His hand hovered the nails as he began to chant, "Ein saat schlug-" when Mayakovsky snapped his fingers again and he went silent.

"Kwalh!" He tried to say something but it was as if his throat was paralyzed.

The same happened to everyone. Except me. My wards had been optimised since my encounter with Daniel.

But I kept quiet nonetheless.

"Your voices are you enemies." He told us, "A great magician, and as you gaze into your mirrors in the coming years you may recall that I was the last great magician you ever saw, a great magician is magic, in his bones, his blood, heart and dick." He looked over at the girls, "Or lady parts. Whatever. Begin!" He ordered.

Actions speak louder than words with Mayakovsky's type.

And I needed a break to plan my next move, so here goes.

I flipped my over the nails and lifted them into the air, casting a silent Hammer Charm and everyone's nails dug straight into the table with a deafening noise.

Mayakovsky turned to look at me and saw the nails writing out, 'How's that for a Hammer Charm, dick magician?' on the table.

"Don't like the taste of ass anymore, I see." He quipped, "Now remove them." He smirked.

I just flipped my hand again and the nails shot out from the wood instantly.

Mayakovsky frowned but in his eyes I could see curiousity.

He flung out his wirst and a jar of roaches appeared before me.

"Modus Hex." He ordered.

I twisted my fingers and made a pinch, putting the roaches under my control and made them tumble the jar, rolling the glass jar across the table back to him.

"You must be Jay. Fogg told me about you."

"All positive I hope." I replied, but he wasn't surprised in the least. He already knew his spell had failed against me.

"Keep hoping." Mayakovsky chuckled, "You are a traveler, yes?"

I looked at him with surprise.

"I can tell just by looking. And no, I'm not psychic. Or quearomantic."

He said, "Come. And please tell me you did not get that stupid anchor tattoo."

Penny squirmed in the background, hiding his tattoo.

"I didn't." I smiled.

"Good. I can help you train. Follow me. And you, Florida boy. Once you've gotten this right, come too."

.

The huge dinoshark clamped it's jaws down upon me as I focused on my powers and just as it closed down on me, I disappeared.

I reappeared in the circle Mayakovsky had drawn, soaking wet.

"Water world?" He asked.

"Water world." I said.

"What are you waiting for? Do you want to suck my dick? No? Then go. Again!"

I sighed and jumped again, travelling to a random world after random world for the past week.

Mayakovsky was helping train my traveler abilities by forcing me to travel to a different world each time, assess the situation and return back to a designated spit and I had gotten better at teleporting in general too.

This time it was water world, next time, who knows.

It was like a mystery bag of fun. And danger. But mostly fun.

By the time we were done for the day, I was thoroughly exhausted.

Regardless, it was time to get what I came here for.

The Incorporate Bond.

And I figured while I'm at it, why not get the whole thing. He had a ton of good shit hidden in his thick russian skull.

Milk the man for all he's got!

All of Mayakovsky's vast experience in magic?

As Ron Swanson said.

Never half ass two things. Whole ass one.

I met Yue in a spare room, and she brought out a candle and surgical tape.

Good enough for now.

We used the tape on the floor to create a double anchor on the floor of the empty room, and lit the candle at one edge as we began to cast a spell.

The Dimensional Hook.

It was a spell that could be used to summon, or steal something that is either warded or heavily protected by reeling it in through another dimension. Most people used the etheric realm as the rerouted path. I planned on doing the same.

I had something I really wanted to steal from Mayakovsky, and I couldn't wait any longer, especially now that all of my ducks are in a row.

Julia is in rehab and has made contact with Richard, the guy who helped her summon Reynard.

Penny and Kady are torn apart, with no interference from me too!

Quentin has grown in character from taking care of cancer puppy and if my surveillance is to be believed, the Beast has infiltrated Brakebills just like in the show, by possessing the body of an alumni of the school, one Mike.

No more mister nice guy for me anymore.

Time to kick things into gear.

So here we are. After hours, with Mayakovsky drunk and passed out.

Now I can understand the doubts.

Why risk it? Wouldn't Mayakovsky's wards prevent it from happening?

Of course they would. If I was stealing directly from Mayakovsky that is.

But no. I'm not stealing from Mayakovsky. I'm stealing....from myself.

I had prepared a bag with all the necessary equipment in it before we left. And now, it was time to summon that bag here and get the job done.

The tape formation below us began to light up with a white light and the space around us distorted as the bag appeared from thin air and fell to the floor with a thud.

The spell worked.

Hah!

I didn't waste any time however and immediately got to it, handing Yue a morphing badge, as we both put on our power armor and I retrieved a magic battery charged with eldrotch magic and used it to pull up my own stealthy warding scheme over the Brakebills South one.

Mayakovsky should be here any second now, having noticed the breach in the wards.

Thankfully, Brakebills won't notice the same with my wards overlapping their own.

"Alright. Let's do this." I said to Yue who nodded happily.

Pulling out a handful of sleeping gas bombs, I teleported them into all rooms in the facility as we both made our way to Mayakovsky's office.

"You, Jay. What do you think you are doing?" Mayakovsky appeared before us, as we entered the hall.

"Just doing a little bit of thievery." I smirked, "Nothing for you to worry about." I threw a sleeping gas bomb at him. But he didn't so much as flinch.

With a snap of his fingers the sleeping gas vanished from the room.

"You will get expelled for this." He said in a matter of fact tone, as it he already knew the outcome, "So tell me, why do this? You could be having sex right now but you are here, pulling this, whatever it is."

"As I said, it's a heist!" I teleported behind him.

"It is foolish to even try. You are 1000 years too young to try to outsmart me." He said, turning to me and palmed my face.

Then, nothing.

"You done?" I asked cheekily, "My turn then!"

I had cloned Haxenpaxen tissue on me, fitted into the power armor. It was basically anti magic. But since I was using science, I didn't need to rely on magic to fight. It didn't have a huge range, just skin deep, but that was okay for me.

Mayakovsky on the other hand...

He threw a cleaving spell at me, and then a magic missile at my head and heart woth the efficiency of a trained soldier.

Both fell flat against the might of my forcefield.

But it did make me wonder.....

Lazy, genteel professors don't have this kind of familiarity with battle magic, and the response time on the guy. He was boosted, Fergus's A Whole Lot Of Other Useful Spells likely.

It raised his reflexes, reaction time, even flexibility and senses.

What kind of past did he have to have mastered battle magic to this extent?

A spell wove around him as he dug his feet into the ground and swung a haymaker at me with all of his power.

Immediately, I moved to intercept him, my hands shot forward to catch his fist, and it clashed against me.

His fist blurred, humming an odd frequency as it spammed into my forcefield, shattering it before clashing with my armor.

The plating on my arms creaked, and I was pushed back, skidding across the wooden floor leaving deep gashes on it.

I recognised the first spell.

Woven Strength.

But his felt far more powerful than Margo's.

It was the difference between an adept and a master of magic.

The second however..... how did it shatter my forcefield?

Before I knew it, he disappeared, dematerialized from his position coming at me from the side.

He threw an upper cut from below this time.

I blocked his punch with the shin of my hand, and the metal of my armor bent, caving in ever so slightly from the impact. My wrist shattered, my arm cracked in three places under the armor.

But I was already leveling the particle beam on my other hand at him.

The arm glowed blue and the beam shot out.

Mayakovsky did not give up though.

He slammed a kick on my arm, a glancing blow changing the direction of the beam, missing him by less than an inch.

"You're spry for an old man." I praised.

"I am the greatest magician in the world. If I fell to the hands of a brat that still smells of mother's milk I'd kill myself twice over." He scoffed, getting ready to cast a spell.

"Not so fast!". I chuckled, looking behind him.

A flash of panic, a glance behind him, and a thunderous roundhouse kick.

Yue went flying into the wall.

But that was enough for me.

In an instant of distraction, my hands lashed out with unerring precision, the jagged metal of my fingertips jutted out and an injector appeared on it

A simple jab of sedatives to his neck and before he could react, we were done.

With that he crumpled onto the floor, his eyes rolling over.

"You won't get away with this." He said weakly as I grabbed him and shoved him into a seat, holding him down and letting the sedative work it's wonders.

"Oh, I very much think I will. Besides, it's not like you're going to remember anything once I'm done with you. You'll wake up tomorrow morning, hungover as usual and you'll remember nothing of tonight. And neither will the rest of them, once I have extracted their memories too." I smiled evilly as he lost conciousness.

The helmet pinged as Mayakovsky fell into a deep sleep and I uploaded the data into my storage before going room to room and extracting a copy of everyone's memories and altering them to the desired degree.

By tomorrow morning, no one will suspect a thing.

And with Mayakovsky's memories at hand, I can easily seal away the Nameless God and his sister, using their super god powers for myself.

"That was easier than I expected." I chuckled as we cleaned up the mess.

"I thought the greatest magician on earth would put up more of a fight." Yue pouted, kicking the sleeping man, before we got to work cleaning it up and erasing all traces of what happened.

"If he wasn't drunk half to death, maybe he'd be a greater threat. I can only imagine how he got that mastery of battle magic. Not from a dojo, I presume.

But as he was now, it was for the best.

And, well, at least we got what we needed. And no one had to get hurt. Well except Penny and Kady. But it's kinda their fault for having levitation sex." I shrugged.

"Un?" Yue's ears perked up, as she cozied up to me.

"Levitation sex..... "

"Don't even think about it Yue. It's nowhere near as fun as it sounds."

But she just licked her lips and gave me an intense gaze.

"Won't hurt to try...." She insisted.

"It literally will." I tsukkomi'd but she didn't give.

Ultimately....

I sighed.

"Okay. After we finish up."

"Un~" Yue nodded happily and got back to work with a renewed vigour.