beginning

So initially I had a pretty fkd beginning. Like ptsd, bpd, anxiety infused with hyper vigilant emotional activity. Which I really won't go too far into. However I will say it was bad enough to terminate my parents rights and land me in long term foster care. In a sense I'm just trying to free myself from this childhood trauma. While I work through my emotions. To help bring me closer to true forgiveness. Not for my mother who was my main caregiver but for myself. A lot of the things I went through. Well I allowed it to be swept under the carpet. Never truly opening up about it. I will never open up fully because that would open a lot of wounds. So instead I'm going to fast forward a lot. We will skip my childhood and go straight into adulthood. I was with this guy for years. He followed me all through the years. Towards the end I moved to live with my grandma. My once love of my life. Whom I shared the beginning of my life with. Well he moved in with us. My monthly was extremely painful, heavy, irregular and unbearable. So I went to see my doctor. He told me that I might never have any kids because my pelvic was higher and sitting wrong. Then let me know i had endometriosis and pcos. I also found out i had a huge cyst on my ovaries. So about a month before my 18th birthday. I had surgery to remove the cyst. I was 18, completely healed and i was excited and scared. It was my birthday and the first time I did it. I figured since I had like .2 percent chance of getting pregnant. It really wouldn't matter if I used protection or not. Joke was on me. It was also how I got pregnant. When they say it only takes one time. They actually factually mean it. Hehe... So this very happy and young couple who were together since they were in middle school. It had been a few months since they had done it. Mainly because though my body was healed. It still hurt. So we agreed to wait a little longer. See if it would help. He got a full time job. I enrolled in college. We were living life. Then it was time for my 6 month check up. Cancer runs in the family. So evey 6 months we get screened. The doctor calls me into the room. Says we need to postpone the test. My urine test came out positive. Then gave me a follow up which was only a few days off. Terrified to tell anyone. I just let him know there was an extra test I needed to do but needed to wait until the equipment was there. Neither of us spoke about it until the day of my appointment. I wasn't sure if it was even real. I was told by the same doctor I might never have any of my own. Now I'm getting a sonogram to see how far in I was.. I had bd come with me. At first I really was going to tell him but I wasn't sure if I should. What is it was a false positive. I've read about it. They happen a lot. So I just made him come to my appointment to find out together. Well at this point we found out I was almost five months pregnant.