19

I do not leave my room and no one disturbs me.

The place is silent and eerie even, except the thousand times that my phone rings and i see a message from Tyler begging me to talk to him or reply his message, and then messages of him asking if he was the reason I didn't come to school and asking if I was okay.

I apparently answered none.

Managing to keep myself busy by doodling incessantly on my journal, I had another shower, changed into a pink hoodie and ragged black jeans with converse sneakers before heading out my room and down the stairs.

I check the kitchen, deja vu filling me up almost immediately, but I shudder and take out a box of juice, shutting the fridge door and heading outside, freezing at my steps and it is definetely not because it feels like my freezer's literally been opened to the world right now but because of who was standing on my porch.

Even with the darkness of the place, contrasting with his usual white cloth, though he had on a white shirt and black waistcoat today he looked like he was glowing.

"I don't want you here" I say.

He gives me a polite smile "What you what and what I can give you are two very different things"

Before I could stop myself, I heard me say "And what could you possibly give me?"

"The world" He says, enthusiasm written all over him as he continues with this happy look on his face "We were always happy, in the beginning, and to the end we could be..."

"I don't want the world" I cut in with a sigh "Go give that piece of crap to Eve"

He makes an amused face "Jealous, aren't you?"

"I just want to go for my doctor's appointment" I say "And you're in the way"

"I am actually your way for the day" He says "Apparently your Father wants me to drive you there"

I sigh "Please, tell me you're joking"

He grins now "Like I'd joke about an alone time with my Queen"

I begin to rub my temples with my thumb as I close my eyes to mentally calculate before opening them and saying with a smile "Sure, why not?"

I see a surprised look register on his face but I don't stay long to see as I walk to his car and enter, him coming a few minutes behind.

When he's behind the wheel, bus ever smiling face has become  a blank void again, expressionless and dull "What are you planning?"

"I don't know what you're talking about" I say with a shrug "The more I fight you, the more I lose, there's no point"

He says nothing for a while, just stares straight right ahead of us before shifting the gear into reverse and driving out of my lawn to the road.

There is silence again between us and I was in a way glad, though I had so many questions I had been thinking about all day.

What language had he spoken to me that I had understood so clearly?

What was that feeling when he spoke it?

And why in all of possible things was he trying so hard to make me like him!

"Just ask"

I jerk from my thoughts and then to him as he still has his face on the road "What?"

"You wanna ask a question" He says "Just do it. I won't push you out of a moving car unless I am the one running over you"

I feel myself have goosebumps at that thought "How would you know if I wanna ask you a question?"

"You were giving me side glances and biting your lips while playing with your nails" He says "That would mean you're uncomfortable, but I know it is big because of the fact that I am here because I know I am perfect if course" I roll my eyes at him there "But because you are uncomfortable with the silence and have a question, so just ask"

"So you weren't focusing on the road but looking at me? For some reason I know if we had an accident right now, you wouldn't die, but I would, and I think that's very rude of you"

He chuckles "The rear view mirror Iana"

There I bite my lips again as he laughs more before saying "So you want to ask?"

"That.... That time in the kitchen..." There's already some sort of serious look on his face as I say "What... What language was that?"

"Latin" He replies.

"I don't know latin" I say "No one here knows latin"

"In another time you did" He says "And of course no one here knows latin, not like us anyway, it was our only path, our own passage way to communicate with the powers that be"

I suddenly shut my eyes "You just help to confuse me more"

"When you refuse to believe, how can you understand?" He says "You must first acknowledge the fact Iana"

"That what?"

"That you are my lover, Lilith"

I hiss and look outside the window "That can't possibly the only explanation"

"Or maybe Lilith possessed you, and she's down there right now, waiting for me to tear her out of you if she pleases, though I believe strongly that she likes you as a vessel and I can work with that" He says with a shrug "I don't know, once she gives me a message, I would listen"

"What if she doesn't want you?" I snap, turning to him "What if I was possessed as you say, and the reasons she's quiet is because she doesn't want you?"

He's quiet there, still driving before he makes a dry chuckle raking his fingers into his hair "There's no possible way that she wouldn't want me. I can smell her on you. That ravaging hunger to be with me was there. You felt it too. That connection... If you had kissed me, you would know....."

The thought of kissing him made me feel a turn in my stomach "Why would I kiss you?"

"Because it could make you remember!" He suddenly snaps "You think I like this? You behaving like a goddamn brat while I try my best not to beat that silly side out of you, the only thing holding me back is dignity and love that I have for you, and because if I kiss you, I would want you already loving me to add with what you already felt for me before"

"Lilith didn't love you, did she?" I ask before I can stop myself.

He laughs "Don't say such blasphemies. She was born for me, she existed only for ME"

"Then if she loved you, why did she leave?"

"We had a fight, it was rough, every lover fights" He says with a sick look on his face.

He looks like he wants to be anywhere but here, because he suddenly has a cold look on his face with beads of sweat forming on his forehead even though it was freezing cold.

"No" I say, sadistically enjoying the pain etched in his face "She loved Samael, and you couldn't stand that"

In a flash, the car jerks forward and I lunging with it to, my head nearly banging on the dashboard as I turn to Kim.

He is panting hard, like he is out of breath, and he looks like a horrible shade of blue as he says "Get out"

I look outside the window, noticing that I was miles away from Docs place "You... You can't be serious"

Before I can react, he has his hand on my chin and he pulls me close to his face, pressing hard.

His eyes looked black now, like deep voids of nothing that would suck anything and everything in it's path with it's anger "Out. Now. Or do you want me banging your head on the fucking glass and putting your flipping body on the road bleeding before you can get the message?"

Then he flings my face away while I quickly scramble out to the sidewalk, falling on the ground on my behind.

He doesn't move yet, just stares straight ahead as he says "Don't leave her house, I'd come pick you myself. Oh and be careful what you say to certain people, some would rather want you dead than alive due to the pain you have caused them for a millenium"

And then he was off the road.